20 Questions

Scary Questions to Ask Someone of a Different Culture

Thoughtful and respectful questions that help you explore cultural differences, understand diverse perspectives, and build bridges across cultures while approaching sensitive topics with sensitivity and curiosity.

1

What's the most misunderstood aspect of your culture that you wish people knew more about?

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Why this works

Opens up conversation about cultural misconceptions and helps you understand their perspective on how their culture is perceived, often leading to educational discussions about cultural diversity.

2

What cultural tradition or practice from your background do you find most meaningful and why?

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Why this works

Reveals their cultural values and often leads to discussions about family traditions, religious practices, and what they find most important about their cultural heritage.

3

What's the biggest cultural difference you've noticed between your culture and the dominant culture here?

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Why this works

Shows their awareness of cultural differences and often leads to interesting discussions about social norms, communication styles, and cultural values.

4

What cultural stereotype about your background bothers you most and why?

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Why this works

Reveals their experiences with stereotypes and often leads to discussions about prejudice, misconceptions, and how stereotypes affect their daily life.

5

What's something about your culture that you think others would find surprising or unexpected?

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Why this works

Encourages sharing of lesser-known cultural aspects and often leads to interesting discussions about cultural diversity and what makes their culture unique.

6

How do you navigate between your cultural identity and the culture you live in now?

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Why this works

Shows their experience with cultural identity and often leads to discussions about belonging, adaptation, and maintaining cultural connections while living in a different culture.

7

What cultural values from your background do you want to pass on to your children?

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Why this works

Reveals their cultural priorities and often leads to discussions about family values, cultural transmission, and what they consider most important to preserve.

8

What's the most challenging aspect of maintaining your cultural identity in a different culture?

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Why this works

Shows their cultural challenges and often leads to discussions about cultural preservation, adaptation, and the difficulties of maintaining cultural identity.

9

What cultural celebration or holiday from your background means the most to you and why?

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Why this works

Reveals their cultural celebrations and often leads to discussions about religious holidays, cultural festivals, and what they find most meaningful about their cultural traditions.

10

How do you handle situations where your cultural values conflict with the dominant culture's values?

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Why this works

Shows their approach to cultural conflicts and often leads to discussions about values, ethics, and how they navigate different cultural expectations.

11

What's something about your culture that you think others would find beautiful or inspiring?

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Why this works

Encourages sharing of cultural beauty and often leads to discussions about art, music, literature, and what they find most beautiful about their cultural heritage.

12

How do you approach teaching others about your culture and what do you want them to understand?

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Why this works

Shows their approach to cultural education and often leads to discussions about cultural sharing, understanding, and what they want others to know about their culture.

13

What cultural food or dish from your background holds special meaning for you and why?

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Why this works

Reveals their cultural food connections and often leads to discussions about family recipes, cultural cuisine, and what food means to their cultural identity.

14

What's the most important lesson your culture has taught you about life and relationships?

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Why this works

Shows their cultural wisdom and often leads to discussions about life lessons, relationship values, and what their culture has taught them about living well.

15

How do you approach different types of cultural misunderstandings and what strategies work best?

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Why this works

Reveals their approach to cultural communication and often leads to discussions about conflict resolution, cultural sensitivity, and how to bridge cultural differences.

16

What cultural story or legend from your background has influenced you most and why?

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Why this works

Shows their cultural storytelling and often leads to discussions about cultural narratives, family stories, and what stories have shaped their worldview.

17

How do you approach different types of cultural questions and what do you wish people would ask more?

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Why this works

Reveals their preferences for cultural conversation and often leads to discussions about cultural curiosity, respectful inquiry, and what they find most engaging about cultural exchange.

18

What cultural practice from your background do you think could benefit other cultures and why?

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Why this works

Shows their cultural pride and often leads to discussions about cultural contributions, universal values, and what their culture has to offer the world.

19

How do you approach different types of cultural preservation and what's most important to maintain?

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Why this works

Reveals their approach to cultural preservation and often leads to discussions about cultural continuity, tradition, and what they consider most important to preserve for future generations.

20

What's your hope for how your culture will be understood and appreciated in the future?

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Why this works

Shows their cultural vision and often leads to discussions about cultural understanding, appreciation, and what they hope for the future of cultural diversity and acceptance.

Best Practices for Cross-Cultural Conversations

Expert tips and techniques for getting the most out of these questions.

Best Practices

Approach with Respect and Genuine Curiosity

Cross-cultural conversations require respect and genuine curiosity. Show interest in learning about their culture while being mindful of their experiences and perspectives.

Focus on Understanding and Learning

These conversations are about understanding and learning, not about judging or comparing cultures. Focus on learning about their experiences and perspectives.

Be Mindful of Cultural Sensitivity

Some topics may be sensitive or personal. Be respectful of boundaries and don't push for information they're not comfortable sharing.

Question Sequences

The Understanding and Learning Sequence

1
What's the most misunderstood aspect of your culture that you wish people knew more about?
2
What's something about your culture that you think others would find surprising or unexpected?
3
What's something about your culture that you think others would find beautiful or inspiring?

The Cultural Identity and Values Flow

1
How do you navigate between your cultural identity and the culture you live in now?
2
What cultural values from your background do you want to pass on to your children?
3
What's the most important lesson your culture has taught you about life and relationships?

Common Pitfalls

Don't Make Assumptions About Their Culture

Avoid making assumptions about their culture based on stereotypes or general knowledge. Ask questions and listen to their actual experiences and perspectives.

Avoid Overly Personal or Sensitive Questions

While cultural questions are generally educational, avoid questions that might be too personal or that could trigger difficult emotional responses.

Don't Compare or Judge Cultures

These conversations are about understanding and learning, not about comparing or judging cultures. Focus on learning about their experiences and perspectives.

Conversation Templates

The Understanding and Learning Flow

1
Step 1: Start with: "What's the most misunderstood aspect of your culture that you wish people knew more about?"
2
Step 2: Continue with: "What's something about your culture that you think others would find surprising or unexpected?"
3
Step 3: Finish with: "What's something about your culture that you think others would find beautiful or inspiring?"

The Cultural Identity and Values Sequence

1
Step 1: Begin with: "How do you navigate between your cultural identity and the culture you live in now?"
2
Step 2: Follow with: "What cultural values from your background do you want to pass on to your children?"
3
Step 3: End with: "What's the most important lesson your culture has taught you about life and relationships?"

Further Reading

"The Culture Map" by Erin Meyer
"Cultural Intelligence" by David Livermore
"The Art of Crossing Cultures" by Craig Storti

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