Sisterhood Round Questions to Ask PNMs
Questions for the sisterhood round of recruitment, when conversations run longer and both sides are trying to work out whether this is a fit. Written for members, with notes on what a given answer tends to tell you.
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The questions
Each question, and why to ask it
What have you liked most about recruitment so far, and has anything surprised you?
Why ask it
The surprise half is the useful half, because it tells you what expectations she arrived with and which ones have already fallen away. Keep it general, since asking her to compare chapters puts her in an awkward spot and most councils prohibit it.
What do you want out of college that has nothing to do with your degree?
Why ask it
Answers here are rarely rehearsed, so you tend to get the actual motive: independence, a group, a city, or simply a break from who she was in high school. If everything she names is achievement, a chapter may become one more thing she performs rather than a place she rests.
When you walk into a room full of people you do not know, what do you usually do?
Why ask it
This gets past the self assessment of shy or outgoing and asks for behavior instead, which is more honest and more useful. Someone who finds one person and stays with them will need a different kind of introduction to the chapter than someone who works the room.
What are you good at that nobody ever asks you to do?
Why ask it
It surfaces a skill that is not on her recruitment resume, and it also gently reveals whether she feels seen where she is now. Answers like fixing things, remembering birthdays, or calming people down are the ones that actually matter in a chapter.
Is there a tradition from your family or hometown you would want to keep going here?
Why ask it
Sisterhood round leans heavily on tradition, so hearing hers first keeps the conversation from becoming a pitch about yours. The answer is also a fast, low pressure way to learn where she comes from without asking her to explain her background.
Tell me about a friend you would want us to meet.
Why ask it
People describe their own values most accurately when talking about someone they admire. Notice whether she praises how her friend treats people or what her friend has accomplished, since that distinction predicts how she will judge her future sisters.
What kind of friend are you when someone is going through something hard?
Why ask it
Ask for the specific thing she does rather than the feeling, because show up gets said by everyone. A PNM who says she is better at logistics than at talking is giving you an honest and genuinely useful answer, not a weak one.
When you are stressed, do you want to be left alone, fed, or talked through it?
Why ask it
Practical information for whoever ends up living with her or being her big, and it turns an abstract question about support into something she can answer in one sentence. It also signals that this chapter thinks about care in concrete terms.
What does a hard week look like for you during the semester?
Why ask it
The description tells you whether her sense of a hard week is a lab report or a genuine crisis, which is a fair read on both her load and her resilience. If she cannot picture one yet, she is probably a first year student and that is worth allowing for.
What is something you stuck with even after it stopped being fun?
Why ask it
Retention is the real question behind most recruitment conversations, and past persistence is the closest thing to evidence you will get in five minutes. A blank is not damning, but a pattern of quitting things at the first friction is worth noting honestly.
Do you do better in a big group or a small one?
Why ask it
Chapter size is the single thing most likely to make a new member feel lost, so an honest answer here helps you place her rather than judge her. If she says small, listen for whether she wants a smaller chapter or just a reliable handful of people inside a large one.
When you disagree with how a group is doing something, what do you actually do?
Why ask it
The word actually is doing work, because it invites the real answer rather than the ideal one. Someone who says she usually says nothing and then resents it is being more useful to you than someone who claims she always speaks up respectfully.
Have you ever had to step away from a group or a friendship? What happened?
Why ask it
How she narrates an ending shows whether she can hold her own part in it, which matters more in a live in chapter than almost anything else. Be ready for a heavy answer and to let it stay short if she wants it to.
What do you need from people to feel like you belong somewhere?
Why ask it
This is the question the whole round is circling, and hearing her version keeps you from assuming your chapter's version of closeness is the one she wants. Being invited without asking, being remembered, and being left alone sometimes are all common answers and they call for different things.
What is the last thing you changed your mind about?
Why ask it
It tests whether she can hold a view loosely, which is what makes chapter debates survivable. Answers about small things count; what you are listening for is whether she can name what changed her mind rather than just that she did.
Who are you when you are at your best?
Why ask it
Broad on purpose, and the pause before the answer often tells you as much as the answer. Someone who describes conditions rather than traits, such as being at her best when she has slept and has a plan, is giving you the more thoughtful reply.
What would make you say no to a chapter?
Why ask it
PNMs are rarely invited to name a dealbreaker, and hearing hers lets you say plainly whether your chapter has that problem. If her dealbreaker is something you cannot honestly rule out, say so, because a mismatch found now costs less than one found in November.
If you joined, what would you want to be known for here in four years?
Why ask it
Forward looking and easier to answer than a question about goals, because it lets her describe a reputation rather than a plan. Being the person everyone can call is a stronger answer than holding a specific office, though both tell you where she is aiming.
What do you hope is different about your life a year from now?
Why ask it
This often surfaces the thing she is actually hoping recruitment solves, which may be loneliness, a schedule, or a fresh start. If a chapter cannot realistically supply what she names, it is kinder to be clear about that than to nod along.
What do you still want to know about us before you make a decision?
Why ask it
The questions she picks show what she is weighing, and whether she has been paying attention to anything beyond the room. Answer the uncomfortable ones directly, including time and cost, because vague reassurance now reads as dishonesty later.
What made you decide to go through recruitment in the first place?
Why ask it
Listen for whether the reason is hers or borrowed. A sister, a roommate, or a parent who went through it is a fine starting point, but if the whole answer is about someone else's experience, she may not have thought about what she wants yet.
What are you studying, and how did you land on it?
Why ask it
The how is the part that matters, because it shows whether she chooses things deliberately or drifts into them. Majors also tell you something practical about her week, since a nursing or engineering schedule will collide with chapter obligations differently than a humanities one.
What are you already involved in on campus?
Why ask it
Useful less as a resume check than as a scheduling reality check, since a PNM in a varsity sport or a demanding student org will be a good sister on a different timetable. It also shows whether she has already found her footing here or is still looking for a foothold.
What do you do with your time that has nothing to do with school?
Why ask it
This gets past the activities list she has already recited all day. If she cannot name anything, she may be genuinely overloaded, or she may be so used to performing achievement that unstructured interests feel like the wrong answer.
Honestly, how much time a week are you hoping to give to a chapter?
Why ask it
Saying honestly out loud gives her permission to name a real number instead of an eager one, which saves both of you a difficult spring. A wildly high estimate is not automatically good news, since PNMs who promise everything are often the ones who burn out by initiation.
When you picture yourself in a chapter, what are you doing on an ordinary Tuesday night?
Why ask it
The vague answers to this are the telling ones, because a PNM who can only describe formals and philanthropy events has pictured the highlight reel, not membership. Someone who describes studying in the same room as other people has thought about what daily life would actually feel like.
Tell me about a group you have been part of that you actually liked being in. What made it work?
Why ask it
Whatever she names as the reason it worked is the thing she will look for here, whether that is being trusted with real work, being left alone, or being included by default. If every group she describes is one she led, ask how she does as a member.
What role do you usually end up playing in a group: the organizer, the idea person, the one who keeps everyone calm?
Why ask it
Offering options makes it answerable in the two minutes you have, and self-description here is fairly reliable because none of the choices sound bad. If she claims all three, ask for the last time she did each one.
What do your closest friends have in common?
Why ask it
Easier to answer honestly than asking what she values in a friend, because she describes real people instead of stating an ideal. Watch for whether she describes how they treat her or only what they do, since the first suggests she pays attention to character.
Who do you go to when you have had a rough week?
Why ask it
The answer shows whether she already has a support system or is hoping a chapter will become one. Both are workable, but a PNM who names no one and no plan is telling you something you should follow up on gently rather than score.
Who in your life has backed you the most, and what did they do?
Why ask it
The what did they do part turns a sentimental answer into a concrete one, and it tells you what support looks like to her, which is what she will offer other people. Someone whose examples are all practical help will show up with a car and a meal rather than a long talk.
What does home feel like to you?
Why ask it
Deliberately open, and useful because the sisterhood pitch is essentially about belonging, so hearing her own version keeps you from selling her yours. Answers about specific rooms, meals, or noise levels tell you far more than answers about people in general.
What causes do you actually care about, and have you done anything about one of them?
Why ask it
The second half separates stated concern from spent time, and even a small answer like driving a neighbor to appointments counts more than a long list of interests. If she names your philanthropy specifically and knows nothing about it, she has been coached.
What are you nervous about when it comes to joining?
Why ask it
This is the question most PNMs are not asked, and the answer is often the most honest thing she says: money, time, being judged, or leaving a friend behind. A cheerful nothing usually means she does not yet trust the room, so answer it about yourself first.
Is there anything you have heard about Greek life that has put you off?
Why ask it
Better to hear her real hesitation now than to have her drop after a bid, and how she raises a criticism shows whether she can say an uncomfortable thing to someone's face. If her concern is something your chapter genuinely struggles with, say so plainly rather than smoothing it over.
If you joined, what would you want us to hold you to?
Why ask it
This flips the accountability question so she is choosing a standard rather than defending herself, and the answer often reveals a habit she already knows she needs help with. A blank here is normal for first year students, so it is a good place to trade an answer of your own.
What is something about you we would not guess from anything you have told us today?
Why ask it
Late in the conversation she has relaxed enough to give a real answer, and this is often the detail you will actually remember when you sit down to write notes. If she has nothing, that is fine, and offering something odd about yourself usually unsticks it.
How Sisterhood Round Conversations Actually Go
Practical guidance for the conversation itself
Running the Conversation
Treat it as a two way read
Sisterhood round is the point where a PNM decides about you, not only the reverse. If she leaves knowing three concrete things about daily membership, the round worked, even if you learned less than you hoped.
Trade before you probe
Answer each real question about yourself in two sentences before handing it to her. It sets the depth you are asking for and stops the exchange from feeling like an evaluation, which is what makes PNMs retreat into stock answers.
Let a pause sit
The best answers in this round arrive after three or four seconds of silence. Members tend to rescue the pause with a follow-up question, which resets the PNM to surface level. Wait it out once and see what comes.
Check the rules with your recruitment chair first
Councils and chapters commonly bar asking PNMs about other houses, and many also ask members to avoid politics, religion, money, alcohol, and dating during rounds. Ask before recruitment week rather than guessing mid conversation.
Write one sentence you would repeat in a vote
Not an impression, a quotation. One specific thing she said, in her words, does more for a fair discussion than a paragraph about how much you loved her. It also protects quieter PNMs from being remembered as nothing.
Where These Conversations Go Wrong
Asking what sisterhood means to her
It is the most asked question of the week and it produces the most rehearsed answer of the week. Ask what she needs in order to feel she belongs somewhere and you will get something she has not already said six times today.
Talking for most of the round
Nerves push members to fill silence with chapter stories. If you cannot recall three of her answers afterwards, the balance was wrong regardless of how warm it felt.
Reading confidence as fit
The most fluent PNM in the room may simply be the most practiced. Judge the specific answers, not the delivery, and give weight to any answer that clearly was not prepared.
Promising what you cannot deliver
Do not hint at a bid, do not describe your chapter as having no conflict, and do not soften the time or financial commitment. Every one of those comes back as a broken expectation in the first semester.