5 Questions to Ask Yourself About Your Partner
Essential self-reflection questions that help you evaluate your relationship, understand your partner better, and make informed decisions about your future together.
1What are the three things I love most about my partner?
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What are the three things I love most about my partner?
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Why this works
Focuses on positive aspects and helps you identify what you truly value and appreciate about your partner, strengthening your emotional connection.
2What are the three things that frustrate me most about my partner?
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What are the three things that frustrate me most about my partner?
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Why this works
Acknowledges challenges and helps you identify areas of conflict or incompatibility that may need attention or acceptance.
3How do I feel when I'm with my partner versus when I'm alone?
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How do I feel when I'm with my partner versus when I'm alone?
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Why this works
Reveals the emotional impact of the relationship and helps you understand whether your partner adds to or detracts from your overall wellbeing.
4What are my partner's core values and do they align with mine?
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What are my partner's core values and do they align with mine?
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Why this works
Examines fundamental compatibility and helps you assess whether you share similar life goals, beliefs, and priorities.
5Where do I see this relationship in five years?
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Where do I see this relationship in five years?
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Why this works
Encourages long-term thinking and helps you evaluate whether your relationship has a future that aligns with your life goals and aspirations.
Best Practices for Relationship Self-Reflection
Expert tips and techniques for getting the most out of these questions.
Best Practices
Be Honest with Yourself
Self-reflection requires brutal honesty. Don't sugarcoat your answers or avoid difficult truths about your relationship.
Focus on Your Feelings
Pay attention to your emotional responses and gut feelings. Your intuition often knows what your rational mind hasn't yet acknowledged.
Consider Both Positive and Negative
Balance your assessment by considering both what you love and what challenges you about your partner and relationship.
Question Sequences
The Relationship Evaluator Sequence
The Compatibility Assessor Sequence
Common Pitfalls
Don't Make Excuses for Red Flags
If you find yourself constantly making excuses for your partner's behavior or justifying their actions, this may indicate deeper issues.
Avoid Comparing to Past Relationships
Focus on your current relationship rather than comparing it to past relationships or what you think it should be.
Don't Ignore Your Intuition
If something feels off or you have persistent doubts, don't dismiss them. Your intuition often picks up on things your conscious mind hasn't yet processed.