Cat Questions to Ask
Twenty questions to ask a cat owner: how they got the cat, how it asks for things, where it sleeps, what it refuses to eat, how it handles visitors and the vet, and what it has cost them in furniture.
The questions
Open any question for the note
How did you end up with your cat?
Why ask it
Answers split into two kinds: people who planned it for months and people who found a cat in a parking lot. Which kind they are tends to set the tone for everything else they tell you.
Where did the name come from?
Why ask it
Names come from a book, a joke, a color, or a previous owner who never asked. An inherited name usually means the cat was already an adult when they got it, which is worth knowing before you ask about kittenhood.
What does your cat do when you come home?
Why ask it
This separates cats that wait at the door from cats that appear only once a tin is opened. Owners of the second kind almost always describe it fondly, which says as much about them as the cat.
How would you describe your cat's personality in one sentence?
Why ask it
Forcing one sentence forces a choice. A shrug and 'she's just a cat' usually means you are talking to someone who is not the main caretaker.
How does your cat let you know it wants something?
Why ask it
Cats train their owners more reliably than the other way round, so expect a specific ritual: a tap on the leg, sitting on a keyboard, a yowl at one particular cupboard door.
What noise does your cat make most, and what do you think it means?
Why ask it
Owners interpret confidently because they have tested it for years. Listen for whether they distinguish between sounds; people who only report generic meowing spend less time in the same room as the cat.
Where does your cat sleep, and did you get any say in that?
Why ask it
Almost nobody ended up with the arrangement they planned. This is where you find out which household rules got quietly abandoned in the first month.
What food will your cat flatly refuse?
Why ask it
Cats reject food over texture, temperature and bowl shape rather than flavor, so the story is usually about something expensive bought once and never touched again.
What is the strangest thing your cat has tried to eat?
Why ask it
Hair ties, plastic bags, houseplants. It often surfaces an emergency vet trip, and it gives them an opening to admit the house is not as cat-proofed as they would like.
Which toy has actually held its interest, and which ones were ignored?
Why ask it
The winner is almost always free: a bottle cap, a shoelace, a cardboard box. The gap between what owners buy and what cats use is where the good stories are.
Where does your cat go when someone knocks at the door?
Why ask it
Most cats have exactly one spot and the owner can name it instantly. Someone who cannot name it usually has an unusually confident cat, which is an answer in itself.
How does your cat behave around visitors?
Why ask it
You learn about the household as much as the animal: whether the place is busy, whether the cat was handled early, and whether they warn people not to reach out first.
How does your cat get on with other animals?
Why ask it
If there is a second animal, ask who arrived first, because order of arrival usually predicts who wins standoffs. If the cat lives alone, the answer is often a story about an introduction that failed.
What does your cat get up to at three in the morning?
Why ask it
This is where owners admit to broken sleep. Sprinting down a hallway at night often means the cat is short of activity during the day, which they may not have connected yet.
Has your cat ever brought you something you wish it had not?
Why ask it
Indoor cats bring socks and hair ties, outdoor cats bring worse. Asking it this way gives them room to say whether the cat goes outside, which some owners are braced to defend.
What is the worst thing your cat has destroyed?
Why ask it
A sofa arm, a screen door, a set of blinds. Owners laugh by the time they tell it, and the laugh is them telling you they decided the cat was worth the furniture.
How does your cat handle the carrier and the vet?
Why ask it
Almost nobody has an easy answer here. Listen for whether they have a routine worked out, because owners who dread the carrier are the ones most likely to put off checkups.
What has having a cat changed about how you live?
Why ask it
Answers get concrete and slightly rueful: fewer weekends away, a closed bedroom door, a chair given up entirely. It moves the conversation from anecdote to what the animal actually costs them.
What would you warn someone about before they got a cat like yours?
Why ask it
This invites a complaint, which is why it draws the most honest answer on the list: the constant shedding, the noise, the cat that cannot be left alone for two nights.
If your cat could tell you one thing, what do you think it would be?
Why ask it
Playful on the surface, but the answer usually names whatever the owner suspects they are getting wrong: feeding times, hours alone, the door that stays shut.
Talking with someone about their cat
Practical guidance for the conversation itself
Where these conversations go wrong
Do not offer a diagnosis
If they describe litter box trouble, over-grooming or a sudden change in temper, resist supplying a theory. Those signs are often medical, and an amateur explanation can delay a vet visit. Ask what the vet said instead.
Do not compare their cat to yours
Saying your cat never did that lands as a comment on their care. Ask what they have already tried, which is a question they can answer without defending themselves.
Indoor versus outdoor is a live argument
Most owners have been criticized over this already. Ask what the roads and wildlife are like where they live rather than asking what they believe about it.
If you do not have a cat yourself
- Say so early. It changes how much they explain, and most owners enjoy explaining.
- Ask about the cat's routine rather than its breed. Few owners know the breed with any confidence, and all of them know the routine.
- Skip what the cat cost. Adoption fees and vet bills are a sore subject, and the number tells you nothing useful.
- Ask for a photo at some point. It gives the conversation somewhere to go when the questions run out.
If you are meeting the cat
- Sit down and stay still. Let the cat decide when to approach.
- Offer a hand at nose height rather than reaching over its head.
- Ask before picking it up. Plenty of cats will tolerate exactly one person doing that.
- Flattened ears or a fast-twitching tail means stop. Look away and let it leave.
If the cat is elderly or unwell
Owners of a sick or very old cat often want to talk about it and rarely get asked. Say you had heard the cat was unwell, ask how things are, and let them set the pace. Do not offer reassurance about an outcome you cannot know. If they raise the question of when to let the cat go, listening is more use to them than an opinion.