Estate Planning Questions to Ask Yourself
Twenty questions to work through on your own before you sit down with an estate planning attorney. They cover what you own and how it is titled, who you would name to act for you, guardianship of children, medical wishes, and where the documents will live. These are questions to bring to a professional, not legal advice.
20 questions, each with the reason to ask it · includes a conversation guide
The questions
Open any question to see why it works.
- 1
What do I own, and could someone else find all of it without me?
Most of the delay in settling an estate comes from locating accounts rather than from disputes. If your answer depends on you being available to explain, that is the gap an attorney will ask you to close first.
- 2
How is each major asset titled, and who is named as beneficiary?
Titling and beneficiary forms usually control where an asset goes regardless of what a will says. It is common to find that a retirement account or an insurance policy still names an ex-spouse or a parent who has died.
- 3
Do I already have a will, and when did I last read it?
Old wills often name executors who have moved away or died. The date matters because a marriage, a divorce, a child or a house bought since then may change how the document operates.
- 4
Who would I want to be in charge of settling things?
This is the executor or personal representative. The question is less about who you trust most and more about who has the time, the patience for paperwork, and the willingness to say no to relatives.
- 5
Who would make medical decisions for me if I could not speak for myself?
The person you name for medical decisions does not have to be the person who handles money, and often should not be. Consider whether they live close enough to reach a hospital and whether they can hold a position under pressure.
- 6
Who would handle bills and money if I were alive but unable to manage them?
This is a durable power of attorney and it operates while you are living, separate from anything that happens after death. Families run into the most difficulty during a long illness when nobody holds this authority.
- 7
Have I told those people that I intend to name them?
Naming someone without telling them is one of the most common gaps. An attorney will ask whether the person has agreed and who your second choice is if they decline or cannot serve.
- 8
If I have minor children, who would raise them?
Guardianship is the question people most often postpone. It is worth separating who you would want from which household could realistically absorb another child, and whether that answer changes as the children get older.
- 9
Would that same person control money for the children, and do I want that?
Many people split the role: one person raises the child, another manages funds. Whether you want them combined is a decision an attorney will ask you to make explicitly rather than assume.
- 10
At what age would I want a child to receive money outright?
Receiving everything at eighteen is the default in some arrangements. Naming an older age, or staged amounts over time, is a different structure and has to be said out loud before it can be drafted.
- 11
Is there anyone I want to leave out, and what is the reason?
Leaving out a close relative is generally handled differently from simply not mentioning them. The reason matters because it shapes the drafting and affects how likely the document is to be challenged.
- 12
Do I want to treat my children equally, or differently?
Unequal shares are a normal request and usually come from a loan already made or from very different circumstances. Say which it is, because a loan already given and a deliberate difference are documented in different ways.
- 13
Who depends on me financially, including people I have not married or adopted?
Stepchildren, unmarried partners and adult children with disabilities are the groups most often left unprotected by default rules. Describe the relationship plainly rather than assuming the name is enough.
- 14
Does anyone I would leave money to receive needs-based benefits?
An inheritance paid directly to someone receiving needs-based benefits can affect their eligibility. Raise it early, because it changes the structure of the plan rather than just the amounts.
- 15
Do I own a business, a farm, or property jointly with other people?
Shared ownership often comes with agreements that already dictate what happens, such as an operating agreement or a buy-sell clause. Bring those documents, because your wishes may not override them.
- 16
Do I own real property in more than one state or country?
Land and buildings are usually handled under the rules of the place they sit in, which can mean a separate process there. Attorneys ask about this early because it changes which documents you need.
- 17
What would I want to happen if I were on life support with no expected recovery?
This belongs in an advance directive rather than a will, because a will is not read in time to matter. The useful part of your answer is the specific circumstance, not a general preference.
- 18
Do I want to be buried or cremated, and has anyone been told?
Funeral decisions are made within a few days, usually before any document has been found. The people who will be at the hospital are the ones who need to know, not only the attorney.
- 19
What happens to my pets?
Pets are treated as property and pass with the estate unless something specific is written down. The practical questions are who has already agreed to take them and whether money should go with them.
- 20
Where will the signed documents be, and who can actually get to them?
An original will in a safe deposit box that only you can open creates a problem of its own. An attorney will ask where the original lives, who holds a copy, and how the named people find out it exists.
Working through this on your own
Practical guidance for the conversation itself.
What to gather before the first meeting
What to gather before the first meeting
- A list of accounts by institution: bank, brokerage, retirement, pension, insurance. Balances matter less than knowing they exist.
- Deeds and mortgage statements for any property, including timeshares and land held with relatives.
- Beneficiary designations from every retirement account and life insurance policy, printed as they currently read rather than as you remember them.
- Any existing will, trust, power of attorney or advance directive, including ones drawn up in another state.
- Business documents: operating agreements, partnership agreements, shareholder or buy-sell agreements.
- Names, full legal spellings and contact details for everyone you might name in a document.
Terms you will hear in the meeting
Terms you will hear in the meeting
- Will: directs what happens to assets that pass through your estate, and names an executor and often a guardian.
- Beneficiary designation: a form held by a bank or insurer that names who receives that specific account, generally outside the will.
- Durable power of attorney: authority for someone to act on financial matters while you are alive but unable.
- Healthcare proxy or healthcare power of attorney: authority for someone to make medical decisions for you.
- Advance directive or living will: a written statement of what treatment you would want in specific circumstances.
- Trust: an arrangement in which assets are held and managed for someone, sometimes used to control timing or to avoid a court process.
When these answers usually need revisiting
When these answers usually need revisiting
- A marriage, a divorce, or the death of anyone named in a document.
- A birth or adoption, and again when the youngest child reaches adulthood.
- Moving to another state or buying property in one.
- Starting, selling or inheriting a share of a business.
- A large change in what you own, in either direction.
- A diagnosis that changes how likely it is that someone will need to act for you.