Good Political Questions to Ask Someone
Questions for a political conversation that stays a conversation: which issue would actually change someone's vote, where their views came from, what they have changed their mind about, and how they handle disagreement.
The questions
Open any question for the note
Which issue would actually change your vote?
Why ask it
Vote-changing beats 'important'. Almost everyone lists five issues and can name only one that would genuinely move them.
Where did your politics come from: family, a job, something that happened?
Why ask it
Origins are less defended than positions. Somebody describing a parent, a hospital bill or a redundancy is telling you the argument underneath the argument.
What have you changed your mind about in the last ten years?
Why ask it
A change of mind is easier to admit than an error, and it establishes that changing your mind is allowed here. If nothing has moved in a decade, that is worth noticing.
What do you think government should do that it currently does not?
Why ask it
Asks for a proposal rather than a complaint, which is harder to answer and much more informative.
What should it stop doing?
Why ask it
The pair to the previous question. Together they map where somebody actually draws the line, which rarely matches their party label.
Where do you get your news, and how much of it do you trust?
Why ask it
The second half matters more. People who name sources and then rate their reliability are describing a method, not just a diet.
Which position on your own side do you quietly disagree with?
Why ask it
Internal disagreement is where real thinking shows. It also lowers the temperature by making clear that neither of you is speaking for a team.
Who do you read or listen to who disagrees with you?
Why ask it
This names a person or it is not happening. 'I read everything' means no.
What do people get wrong about what you believe?
Why ask it
Lets somebody correct a caricature instead of defending one, which calms a conversation faster than agreeing with them would.
What would have to be true for you to be wrong about your biggest issue?
Why ask it
Falsifiability applied to politics. Some people answer immediately, others discover they cannot, and both reactions tell you a lot.
Which politician do you respect and still not vote for?
Why ask it
Separates respect from allegiance. If nobody on the other side qualifies, the conversation is about identity rather than policy.
Is there a trade you would accept: something you want for something they want?
Why ask it
Turns positions into negotiation. What somebody will trade, and what they refuse, is a clearer map of priorities than any list of issues.
What did the place you grew up teach you about who gets looked after?
Why ask it
Class and place shape politics more than most people credit. Asking who was looked after avoids the abstraction of asking about class directly.
How much of politics do you think is actually decided locally?
Why ask it
Attention goes to national fights while housing, schools and roads get decided nearer home. The answer often reveals how closely somebody follows either.
Have you ever fallen out with someone over politics, and did it recover?
Why ask it
The recovery is the interesting half. What repaired it, or failed to, is more useful than the original argument.
How do you handle it at family dinners?
Why ask it
Practical rather than ideological, and almost everybody has a working strategy: a banned topic, an ally at the table, an early exit.
What do you think is genuinely getting better?
Why ask it
Improvement is harder to name than decline, and the question breaks the reflex of pure complaint.
What do you think is getting worse regardless of who wins?
Why ask it
Moves the conversation off the scoreboard, and it is often where two opponents find they agree.
What would make you get involved beyond voting?
Why ask it
Involvement is where belief meets time and money. The threshold somebody names shows how much of their politics is identity and how much is action.
What do you want your own side to stop doing?
Why ask it
Criticism of your own side, offered rather than extracted, is the surest sign a conversation can keep going.
Keeping a political conversation going
Practical guidance for the conversation itself
Before you start
- Decide what you want. Understanding somebody and changing their mind are different activities, and the second rarely works in one evening.
- Not every setting can hold this. A crowded table with alcohol and an audience is where these questions go worst.
- Be ready to answer everything you ask, including what you disagree with on your own side.
In the conversation
- Ask for the experience behind a position before responding to the position. People defend conclusions and explain stories.
- Repeat their view back before you disagree with it. If they correct you, you were about to argue with the wrong thing.
- When it heats up, move to a narrower question. Specifics cool a conversation that generalities have inflamed.
Knowing when to stop
- One clear signal that somebody is done should end it. Continuing turns a disagreement into a grievance.
- If the same point comes round a third time, the conversation finished a while ago without either of you noticing.
- Leave the relationship in better shape than the argument. Say plainly what you found reasonable, and mean it.