Questions to Ask a Custody Lawyer During Consultation
Questions for deciding whether to hire a particular custody lawyer: their experience in the court that would hear your matter, who would actually do the work, how fees and billing operate, and how they handle disagreement with a client. Rules and costs vary by jurisdiction, so ask each of these of the person in front of you.
The questions
Open any question for the note
How many custody matters have you handled in this court over the past year?
Why ask it
Naming the court and the period turns a general claim of experience into something specific. A lawyer who appears there regularly knows the listing practice and the local expectations, which affects both timescale and cost more than most people expect.
Would you be doing the work, or would someone else in the firm?
Why ask it
It is common for a senior lawyer to take the consultation and a junior to run the file, and that is not necessarily wrong. What matters is that you know who to expect, what their experience is, and who attends any hearing.
What is your hourly rate, and what are the rates of anyone else who would work on my file?
Why ask it
You need the full list, including paralegals, because much of the routine work will be billed at those rates. If only one figure is offered, ask directly whether anyone else records time on the matter.
What retainer do you require, how is it applied, and what happens when it runs out?
Why ask it
A retainer is usually an advance against fees rather than a fixed price, and the point where it is exhausted is where people are most often caught out. Ask whether you are asked to top it up, whether work pauses, and whether any part of it is refundable.
Are calls and emails billed, and in what minimum increments?
Why ask it
Billing in six-minute or fifteen-minute units changes the real cost of contacting your lawyer considerably. Knowing the increment is also practical guidance: it is usually cheaper to send one considered email than five short ones.
For a matter like mine, what has the cost typically been from start to a final order?
Why ask it
Asking about comparable past matters produces a more useful figure than asking for an estimate of yours. Push for a range and for what drives the top of it, which is usually a contested hearing, an expert, or a parent who will not settle.
What costs sit outside your fees?
Why ask it
Filing fees, evaluators, expert reports, mediators, transcripts and service costs are often separate and can be substantial. A lawyer who lists them without prompting is giving you an honest picture of the total.
How do you bill for court time, including waiting?
Why ask it
Hearings involve travel and long waits, and practices differ on whether that time is charged in full. This is a small question that can account for a large share of a final bill.
Who will I speak to when I have a question, and what is your usual response time?
Why ask it
Custody matters generate urgent questions at awkward times, and unreturned calls are one of the most common complaints about family lawyers. Ask for a specific expectation in days, and ask what happens when they are in a hearing.
Will I receive copies of everything filed and received?
Why ask it
You are entitled to know what is being said on your behalf, and having the documents means you can check facts about your own family that only you would notice were wrong. Any hesitation here is worth taking seriously.
Do you generally try to settle first, or file first, and why?
Why ask it
Both approaches are legitimate and they lead to very different experiences and costs. What you want is a reasoned answer tied to your circumstances rather than a fixed habit applied to everyone.
How do you handle a client who wants to take a position you think is unwise?
Why ask it
This tells you whether you are hiring an adviser or an instrument. A lawyer who describes putting the advice in writing and then following your instruction is being straight with you about how the relationship works.
Have you appeared opposite the other parent's lawyer before?
Why ask it
Familiarity between opposing lawyers often makes negotiation faster and less costly. If they have not, that is fine, but a lawyer who knows the other side's usual approach can tell you more about what to expect.
Setting aside what I want, what is your plain view of my case?
Why ask it
The phrasing gives permission to be blunt, which is what you are paying for. Somebody who only reflects your position back to you will be no use when a judge does not, and this is the moment to find that out.
What would make you tell me to stop spending money on this?
Why ask it
Few clients ask, and the answer tells you whether the lawyer will raise the point when continuing costs more than it can achieve. A specific threshold, such as a particular ruling or an evaluator's report, is a good sign.
If issues such as domestic abuse, substance use or mental health become relevant, how do you handle them?
Why ask it
These matters are treated differently in law and require experience with protective orders, agencies and expert evidence. Ask only if it may apply to your situation, and listen for whether the answer is careful and procedural rather than dramatic.
How many matters are you carrying at the moment, and do you have hearings that could clash with mine?
Why ask it
Availability is a practical constraint that rarely comes up until a date is set. A lawyer who answers candidly, including about a heavy period ahead, is easier to plan around than one who says they can always make room.
What do you need from me, and how soon?
Why ask it
The answer shows how organised their process is and puts the first task in your hands rather than leaving you waiting. It is also a fair test of whether the advice you have just received translates into anything concrete.
If I decided to change lawyers later, what would happen to my file and any unused retainer?
Why ask it
This is an awkward question and a reasonable one, since clients do change representation partway through. A professional answer describes transferring the file and accounting for the balance without any suggestion that asking was inappropriate.
Is there anything about my situation that makes you think another lawyer would suit it better?
Why ask it
Occasionally the honest answer is yes, whether because of a conflict, a specialism or the level of cost involved. A lawyer willing to say so, and to suggest who else to see, is showing you exactly the judgement you would be hiring.
How to use these questions
Practical guidance for the conversation itself
Before you book
- 1Ask when you book whether the consultation is free or charged, how long it lasts, and whether it is with the lawyer who would run the file.
- 2Line up two or three consultations rather than one. Comparing answers on fees and approach is the only way to know whether what you are being told is normal for your area.
- 3Check where the lawyer is admitted to practise and whether they regularly appear in the court that would hear your matter.
- 4Ask whether limited-scope help, a fixed fee for a specific stage, or any local low-cost service might apply to your situation. Not every matter needs full representation throughout.
- 5Write your questions down. Fee and billing questions are the easiest to forget and the most expensive to leave unasked.
Getting the terms in writing
- Ask for the engagement letter or fee agreement and read it before signing rather than at the meeting. It should state rates, the retainer, how it is replenished, and what is billed separately.
- Check how you will be invoiced and how often. Monthly itemised bills make it much easier to understand where money is going.
- Ask what happens to unbilled work if the matter settles quickly, and whether any portion of the retainer is refundable.
- Keep your own file of everything you send and receive, including the fee agreement, and note the date of each significant conversation.
- If anything you were told verbally is important, ask for it in an email afterwards. Reasonable lawyers expect this.
Signs to take seriously
- A guarantee about the outcome. No one can promise a custody result, particularly before seeing the other side's position.
- Reluctance to discuss fees in detail, or an unwillingness to put the arrangement in writing.
- Speaking dismissively about judges, the other parent's lawyer, or the court. It says more about how they will be received in the hearing than about anyone else.
- Pressure to sign at the consultation, or a discount that expires if you take time to consider.
- Agreeing with everything you say. You are paying for judgement, and part of that is being told where your position is weak.
- Little or no recent experience with custody matters in the relevant court, however strong their practice is in other areas.