20 Questions

Sendit Questions to Ask

Create unforgettable conversations with bold, boundary-pushing questions that reveal hidden truths, challenge assumptions, and create deep connections through honest, unfiltered dialogue.

1

What's the most embarrassing thing you've ever done?

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Why this works

Opens up vulnerability while revealing their capacity for self-awareness and willingness to share personal experiences.

2

If you could get away with one crime, what would it be?

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Why this works

Explores moral boundaries while revealing their hidden desires and what they consider acceptable or unacceptable behavior.

3

What's the worst thing you've ever said about me behind my back?

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Why this works

Forces honest confrontation while revealing their true thoughts about you and how they handle difficult conversations.

4

What's your most controversial opinion?

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Why this works

Reveals their values and beliefs while showing what they consider important enough to defend or argue about.

5

If you could read my mind for one day, what would you want to know?

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Why this works

Shows their curiosity about you while revealing what secrets or thoughts they think you might be hiding.

6

What's the most fucked up thing you've ever thought but never said out loud?

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Why this works

Creates space for unfiltered honesty while revealing their inner thoughts and what they consider too taboo to share.

7

If you could erase one person from everyone's memory, who would it be?

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Why this works

Explores their relationships and grudges while revealing who they'd rather forget and why.

8

What's the most manipulative thing you've ever done?

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Why this works

Opens up discussion about their darker side while revealing their capacity for manipulation and self-awareness.

9

If you could get away with cheating on your partner, would you?

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Why this works

Forces them to confront their relationship values while revealing their thoughts on fidelity and commitment.

10

What's the most morally questionable thing you've ever done?

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Why this works

Opens up honest discussion about ethical boundaries while revealing their personal moral compass and past decisions.

11

If you could have dinner with Hitler, what would you ask him?

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Why this works

Forces them to confront extreme moral dilemmas while revealing their approach to understanding evil and historical figures.

12

What's the most fucked up thing you've ever done while drunk?

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Why this works

Explores their behavior under influence while revealing their capacity for poor decisions and self-control.

13

If you had to choose between saving me or a stranger, who would you pick?

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Why this works

Forces them to confront difficult moral choices while revealing how they prioritize relationships and make tough decisions.

14

What's the most embarrassing thing you've ever done for money?

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Why this works

Opens up discussion about their boundaries and values while revealing what they'd do for financial gain.

15

If you could know one secret about anyone in this room, what would it be?

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Why this works

Reveals their curiosity about others while showing what information they find most valuable or interesting.

16

What's the most fucked up thing you've ever lied about?

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Why this works

Opens up discussion about deception while revealing their capacity for dishonesty and what they consider worth lying about.

17

If you could get away with one thing without consequences, what would it be?

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Why this works

Explores their desires and boundaries while revealing what they value enough to do if there were no repercussions.

18

What's the most fucked up thing you've ever done to get revenge?

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Why this works

Opens up discussion about their capacity for retaliation while revealing how they handle conflict and perceived wrongs.

19

If you could erase one memory from your mind, what would it be?

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Why this works

Reveals their most painful or traumatic experiences while showing what they'd rather forget about their past.

20

What's the most fucked up thing you've ever done that you're proud of?

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Why this works

Opens up discussion about their values while revealing what they consider acceptable or even admirable behavior.

Navigating Provocative Conversations

Expert tips and techniques for getting the most out of these questions.

Best Practices

Know Your Audience

Only ask these questions with people who are comfortable with provocative conversation. Gauge their comfort level and respect boundaries.

Create Safe Space

Establish that these are judgment-free conversations. Make it clear that honest answers are valued and won't be held against them.

Be Prepared to Answer

If you're asking provocative questions, be ready to answer them yourself. Reciprocity is important for maintaining trust and openness.

Question Sequences

The Truth Explorer

1
What's the most embarrassing thing you've ever done?
2
What's the most fucked up thing you've ever thought but never said out loud?
3
What's the most fucked up thing you've ever done that you're proud of?

The Moral Dilemma

1
If you could get away with one crime, what would it be?
2
If you had to choose between saving me or a stranger, who would you pick?
3
If you could get away with one thing without consequences, what would it be?

Common Pitfalls

Don't Push Too Hard

If someone seems uncomfortable, back off. These questions are meant to be provocative, not harmful or traumatic.

Avoid Judging Answers

Don't judge or shame people for their honest answers. The point is to create open dialogue, not to make people feel bad about themselves.

Don't Use Answers Against Them

Never use their honest answers as ammunition in future arguments or to manipulate them. This destroys trust and openness.

Conversation Templates

The Truth Seeker

1
Step 1: Start with: "What's the most embarrassing thing you've ever done?"
2
Step 2: Follow with: "What's the most fucked up thing you've ever thought but never said out loud?"
3
Step 3: Deepen with: "What's the most fucked up thing you've ever done that you're proud of?"

The Moral Explorer

1
Step 1: Begin with: "If you could get away with one crime, what would it be?"
2
Step 2: Explore with: "If you had to choose between saving me or a stranger, who would you pick?"
3
Step 3: Connect with: "If you could get away with one thing without consequences, what would it be?"

Further Reading

"The Art of Asking" by Amanda Palmer
"Difficult Conversations" by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen
"Crucial Conversations" by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler

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