Yes or No Questions to Ask People
Yes or no questions about small everyday habits, the kind that get a laugh and a show of hands. Suited to groups, parties, team warmups and getting to know coworkers without asking anything personal.
The questions
Open any question for the note
Do you check your phone before you get out of bed?
Why ask it
Nearly everyone says yes and half of them wince while doing it, which is exactly why it works as an opener. Nobody is embarrassed to be in the majority.
Do you make your bed most mornings?
Why ask it
Divides a room instantly and harmlessly, and both sides feel mildly superior. The interesting answers are the people who changed sides at some point and can say when.
Do you eat the same breakfast every day?
Why ask it
Habit questions get more honest answers than preference questions, because there is nothing to perform. The yeses can usually recite the exact meal, which is the funny part.
Do you set more than one alarm?
Why ask it
The number is the whole story: two is normal, five is a personality. Ask whether they get up on the first one, since the honest answer is often no.
Do you answer calls from numbers you do not recognize?
Why ask it
One of the sharpest generational splits you can ask about without mentioning age. The follow-up worth asking is what they do instead, because the workarounds are elaborate.
Do you sing in the car?
Why ask it
Safer than asking whether someone can sing, and the yes usually names a specific song. Watch for the people who only do it alone, which is a different and funnier answer.
Do you read reviews before you buy anything?
Why ask it
Shows how someone makes decisions without asking them to describe how they make decisions. The extreme yeses have a spreadsheet, and they will admit it if you ask.
Do you finish books you are not enjoying?
Why ask it
A small ethics question dressed as a habit, and people have surprisingly firm positions. The yeses often describe it as an obligation, which is worth following.
Do you keep receipts?
Why ask it
Mundane enough to be safe at work and revealing about how someone handles admin generally. The answers split into the shoebox, the app, and the people who bin them at the counter.
Do you remember people's names on the first try?
Why ask it
Useful in a group because the honest no gives everyone else permission to forget too. The yeses usually have a trick, and it is worth asking them for it out loud.
Do you take the stairs when there is an elevator?
Why ask it
Depends on the floor, and the number of floors people name is the actual answer. Good for offices, where everyone in the room shares the same building.
Do you say hello to dogs on the street?
Why ask it
Gets a yes from people who have been quiet all evening, which is its main use. The ones who ask the owner first are a distinct and identifiable type.
Is there a food you refuse to eat?
Why ask it
Refusal is more entertaining than preference, and it is usually one specific texture rather than a whole category. Keep it away from anyone's allergy or medical restriction, which is not the same thing.
Do you cry at films?
Why ask it
Almost always produces a title, which is the better half of the answer. Notice who says no immediately and then names the exception thirty seconds later.
Do you plan trips more than a month ahead?
Why ask it
Planners and improvisers both defend themselves with specific stories, so the room does the work for you. Avoid turning it into where anyone actually went, which drags money into it.
Do you talk to strangers on planes?
Why ask it
Reveals how someone handles enforced proximity, which is closer to real social preference than asking whether they are shy. The strategies people use to avoid it are the funniest part.
Do you reply to messages as soon as you read them?
Why ask it
A live issue for anyone who works in the same group, so expect some pointed laughter. Ask how long an unanswered message can sit before it becomes a problem, and watch the numbers diverge.
Do you keep a photo you would never delete?
Why ask it
The one question here that goes quiet for a moment, so place it late. Do not ask what is in it: let people offer or not.
Do you tell people when they have something in their teeth?
Why ask it
Sorts a group faster than any personality question, because both positions are defensible and both sides think theirs is the kind one. The follow-up is where the line sits: a colleague, a stranger, a boss.
Would the people who know you best have predicted your answers?
Why ask it
A closing question about the round itself rather than about habits, so it only works once everyone has heard each other. The interesting reply is a no, because it usually arrives with the version of themselves other people apparently see.
Running a yes or no round with a group
Practical guidance for the conversation itself
Formats that work
Show of hands
Ask the question, take the hands, then ask one or two people to explain. Everyone participates in five seconds, and the explanations come from volunteers rather than from whoever you called on.
Stand on one side of the room
For a larger group, name a side for yes and a side for no. People end up standing next to someone they have not spoken to, which does more for a team than the question itself.
Round the table, one word each
Good for a meal or a small meeting. Insist on the one-word answer for the first pass so nobody dominates, then go back to the two most divided questions.
Ordering the questions
- Start with a question where almost everyone says yes, so the first answer is easy.
- Follow with one that splits the room evenly, which is where the laughing starts.
- Put anything touching on work habits in the middle, once the tone is clearly light.
- Keep the quieter questions for the end, and only if the group has warmed up.
- Wrap up after six or seven questions rather than working through all twenty.
- Let the group hijack the round: a tangent means it worked.
What to avoid
Rapid firing without letting anyone talk
The point of a closed question is the conversation after it. If nobody has explained an answer in the last three questions, slow down and ask someone why.
Questions that expose money or health
Habits are safe; spending, diets, medication and family situations are not, especially at work. If a question can be answered honestly only by disclosing something private, leave it out.
Making anyone answer
In a work setting the power difference is real, and a round that is technically optional is not optional in practice. Say passing is fine, and pass on one yourself early so it looks normal.