100 Questions to Ask Before You Get Engaged PDF
Comprehensive questions to ask before getting engaged, covering all aspects of life together to ensure you're truly ready for marriage.
1What are your core values and how do they align with mine?
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What are your core values and how do they align with mine?
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Why this works
Establishes the foundation of your relationship by ensuring you share fundamental beliefs and principles that will guide your life together.
2How do you envision our future together in 5, 10, and 20 years?
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How do you envision our future together in 5, 10, and 20 years?
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Why this works
Reveals long-term compatibility and helps ensure you both have similar visions for your life together.
3What are your financial goals and how do you handle money?
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What are your financial goals and how do you handle money?
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Why this works
Addresses one of the most common sources of marital conflict by ensuring you're aligned on financial values and practices.
4How do you handle conflict and disagreements?
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How do you handle conflict and disagreements?
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Why this works
Reveals your conflict resolution styles and helps ensure you can work through problems effectively as a couple.
5What are your thoughts on having children, and if so, how many?
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What are your thoughts on having children, and if so, how many?
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Why this works
Addresses one of the most important life decisions and ensures you're aligned on family planning and parenting philosophies.
6How do you handle stress and what do you need from me during difficult times?
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How do you handle stress and what do you need from me during difficult times?
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Why this works
Reveals coping strategies and helps ensure you can support each other during challenging periods.
7What are your career goals and how do they fit with our relationship?
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What are your career goals and how do they fit with our relationship?
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Why this works
Ensures your professional aspirations are compatible and that you can support each other's career development.
8How do you like to spend your free time and what are your hobbies?
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How do you like to spend your free time and what are your hobbies?
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Why this works
Reveals lifestyle preferences and helps ensure you can enjoy time together while respecting each other's individual interests.
9What are your thoughts on religion and spirituality?
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What are your thoughts on religion and spirituality?
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Why this works
Addresses spiritual beliefs and practices, which can be fundamental to how you live your lives together.
10How do you handle family relationships and what role do they play in your life?
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How do you handle family relationships and what role do they play in your life?
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Why this works
Reveals family dynamics and helps ensure you can navigate relationships with each other's families.
11What are your thoughts on household responsibilities and division of labor?
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What are your thoughts on household responsibilities and division of labor?
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Why this works
Addresses practical aspects of living together and ensures you have similar expectations about domestic responsibilities.
12How do you like to celebrate special occasions and what traditions are important to you?
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How do you like to celebrate special occasions and what traditions are important to you?
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Why this works
Reveals cultural and personal traditions while helping you understand how to create meaningful celebrations together.
13What are your thoughts on travel and adventure?
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What are your thoughts on travel and adventure?
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Why this works
Reveals lifestyle preferences and helps ensure you can enjoy shared experiences and adventures together.
14How do you handle change and what do you need from me during transitions?
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How do you handle change and what do you need from me during transitions?
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Why this works
Reveals adaptability and helps ensure you can support each other through life's inevitable changes.
15What are your thoughts on personal space and alone time?
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What are your thoughts on personal space and alone time?
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Why this works
Addresses individual needs and helps ensure you can maintain healthy boundaries while staying connected.
16How do you like to communicate and what do you need from me in terms of emotional support?
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How do you like to communicate and what do you need from me in terms of emotional support?
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Why this works
Reveals communication styles and helps ensure you can meet each other's emotional needs effectively.
17What are your thoughts on social relationships and friendships?
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What are your thoughts on social relationships and friendships?
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Why this works
Reveals social preferences and helps ensure you can navigate friendships and social situations together.
18How do you handle mistakes and what do you need from me when you're wrong?
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How do you handle mistakes and what do you need from me when you're wrong?
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Why this works
Reveals humility and helps ensure you can work through problems and learn from mistakes together.
19What are your thoughts on health and wellness?
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What are your thoughts on health and wellness?
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Why this works
Addresses lifestyle choices and helps ensure you can support each other's health and well-being.
20How do you envision our roles in the relationship and what do you expect from me?
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How do you envision our roles in the relationship and what do you expect from me?
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Why this works
Reveals expectations and helps ensure you have compatible views on relationship dynamics and responsibilities.
Best Practices for Pre-Engagement Conversations
Expert tips and techniques for getting the most out of these questions.
Best Practices
Create a Safe and Open Environment
Ensure both partners feel comfortable sharing honestly without fear of judgment or criticism.
Listen Actively and Show Empathy
Pay attention to your partner's responses and show understanding for their perspectives, even when you disagree.
Be Honest and Authentic
Share your true thoughts and feelings. Honesty is essential for building a strong foundation for marriage.
Question Sequences
The Foundation Building
The Lifestyle Assessment
Common Pitfalls
Don't Avoid Difficult Topics
Address challenging subjects like finances, children, and family dynamics. Avoiding these topics can lead to problems later.
Avoid Making Assumptions
Don't assume you know your partner's thoughts or feelings. Ask questions and listen to their actual responses.
Don't Rush the Process
Take time to have these conversations thoroughly. Rushing through important topics can lead to misunderstandings.