20 Questions

Flirty Questions to Ask Your Ex Boyfriend

Playful and flirty questions to reconnect with your ex-boyfriend, test the waters, and potentially rekindle the spark between you.

1

Do you ever think about what we had, or am I the only one who still remembers those moments?

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Why this works

Opens the door to discussing your past relationship in a way that's both nostalgic and potentially romantic, while gauging his current feelings.

2

What's the one thing about me that you miss the most?

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Why this works

Encourages him to reflect on your positive qualities and creates an opportunity for him to express what he valued about you.

3

If you could change one thing about how our relationship ended, what would it be?

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Why this works

Shows you're thinking about the past constructively and gives him a chance to express any regrets or what-ifs he might have.

4

Do you ever wonder what would have happened if we had tried harder to make it work?

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Why this works

Explores the possibility of reconciliation in a subtle way and helps you understand if he's open to the idea of trying again.

5

What's the first thing that comes to mind when you think of me?

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Why this works

Gives you insight into his current perception of you and whether his memories are positive or negative.

6

If we could go back to any moment in our relationship, which one would you choose?

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Why this works

Creates a shared nostalgic experience and helps you understand what moments he valued most in your relationship.

7

Do you think we've both grown enough to make it work this time?

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Why this works

Acknowledges that people change and mature, and explores whether the issues that led to the breakup might be resolved now.

8

What's something you never told me when we were together that you wish you had?

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Why this works

Creates intimacy and vulnerability, and gives him a chance to share something meaningful that he might have held back before.

9

If I asked you to give us another chance, what would you say?

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Why this works

Directly tests his willingness to reconcile while giving him the opportunity to express his current feelings about the relationship.

10

What's the most attractive thing about me that you still remember?

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Why this works

Flirty and direct, this question helps you understand what he found appealing about you and whether he still sees you in that light.

11

Do you ever compare other people to me, or am I just a distant memory now?

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Why this works

Helps you understand his current perspective on you and whether you still hold a special place in his thoughts.

12

What would you do differently if we started over?

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Why this works

Shows you're thinking about the future and gives him a chance to reflect on what he learned from the relationship.

13

Do you think we were meant to be together, or was our relationship just a learning experience?

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Why this works

Explores his beliefs about the relationship's significance and whether he sees it as something that could be rekindled.

14

What's the one thing you wish you could tell me right now?

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Why this works

Creates an opportunity for him to share something important or meaningful that he might not have said before.

15

If we could spend one perfect day together, what would we do?

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Why this works

Playful and romantic, this question helps you understand his ideal version of your relationship and creates a shared fantasy.

16

Do you ever dream about me, or am I just someone from your past now?

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Why this works

Intimate and personal, this question explores whether you still occupy his thoughts and dreams.

17

What's the biggest mistake you think we both made in our relationship?

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Why this works

Shows you're both reflective and willing to take responsibility, which is important for any potential reconciliation.

18

If you could have one more chance to kiss me, would you take it?

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Why this works

Directly flirty and romantic, this question tests his physical attraction and willingness to be intimate with you again.

19

What's something you learned about yourself after our breakup that you wish you had known when we were together?

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Why this works

Encourages him to share personal growth and gives you insight into how he's changed since the relationship ended.

20

Do you think we could be friends with benefits, or would that be too complicated?

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Why this works

Tests the waters for a casual relationship while acknowledging the complexity of your history together.

Navigating Ex-Boyfriend Reconnection

Expert tips and techniques for getting the most out of these questions.

Best Practices

Gauge His Interest First

Start with subtle questions to test the waters before diving into more direct or intimate topics. Pay attention to his responses and body language.

Be Honest About Your Intentions

If you're looking to reconnect romantically, be clear about your intentions while being respectful of his current situation and feelings.

Respect His Boundaries

If he's not interested in reconnecting, respect his decision and don't push. Focus on building a healthy friendship or moving on.

Question Sequences

The Nostalgic Reconnection Sequence

1
Do you ever think about what we had?
2
What's the one thing about me that you miss?
3
If we could go back to any moment, which would you choose?
4
What's the first thing that comes to mind when you think of me?

The Future Possibility Sequence

1
Do you think we've both grown enough to make it work?
2
What would you do differently if we started over?
3
If I asked you to give us another chance, what would you say?
4
Do you think we were meant to be together?

Common Pitfalls

Don't Rush the Process

Take time to rebuild trust and connection before jumping into romantic territory. Rushing can lead to the same problems that ended the relationship.

Avoid Bringing Up Past Hurts

Focus on positive memories and future possibilities rather than dwelling on what went wrong. This creates a more positive foundation for reconnection.

Don't Ignore Red Flags

If he's not showing interest or is being disrespectful, don't pursue the reconnection. Your self-respect is more important than rekindling the relationship.

Reconnection Framework

The Gradual Reconnection Process

1
Step 1: Start with nostalgic and light questions
2
Step 2: Gauge his interest and responses
3
Step 3: Explore future possibilities if he's receptive
4
Step 4: Be direct about your intentions if appropriate
5
Step 5: Respect his boundaries and decisions

Further Reading

"Getting Past Your Breakup" by Susan J. Elliott
"The Breakup Bible" by Rachel Sussman
Psychology Today articles on relationship reconciliation

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