This or That Generator
“Thick fluffy pancakes or thin crispy ones?”
Why ask it
Skips the worn-out pancake versus waffle debate and goes straight to texture, where the real loyalties are. It usually leads to whose kitchen made the best ones.
Some of what is in the deck
Prefer to read than to shuffle? These are the opening cards of each deck, each with its note and the set it came from.
Everything
Thick fluffy pancakes or thin crispy ones?
Why ask it
Skips the worn-out pancake versus waffle debate and goes straight to texture, where the real loyalties are. It usually leads to whose kitchen made the best ones.
Finish a bad book or quit by chapter three?
Why ask it
Finishers treat a book like a promise, and quitters treat it like a sample. Ask the finishers which one they most resent having pushed through.
Share every dish or guard your own plate?
Why ask it
Worth asking before you eat out with someone, not after. The guards are not selfish, they just ordered carefully, and they will explain if you let them.
Souvenir for the shelf or nothing but memories?
Why ask it
Collectors usually collect one specific thing, like magnets, mugs or ticket stubs. Find out what it is and where the collection lives.
Hotel breakfast buffet or find a local bakery?
Why ask it
Convenience against the small adventure of finding the place. Buffet loyalists tend to have a plate strategy, and they enjoy being asked to walk through it.
Background noise or total silence to focus?
Why ask it
Matters more than it sounds for anyone sharing an office or a library table. Ask what the noise is, since a cafe hum and a loud show are different claims.
Celebrate loudly or savor it quietly?
Why ask it
Ask what they did the last time something went really well. Some people call everyone they know, and others sit in the car for a minute first.
Airport hours early or sprint to the gate?
Why ask it
Never let these two types share a ride to the airport without discussing it first. Ask each for their closest call or their longest wait.
Corner brownie or center brownie?
Why ask it
Edge people want chew and center people want softness, so a pan shared by one of each never causes a fight. Ask who in their house is the opposite.
Carry-on only or check a big bag?
Why ask it
Carry-on people are proud of it and will explain their rolling technique unprompted. Ask the big-bag side what they packed last time and never wore.
Toast barely golden or nearly burnt?
Why ask it
Toast settings are oddly personal and usually inherited. The follow-up that works: who made your toast when you were a kid, and did they get it right?
Read the rules or learn as you go?
Why ask it
Every game night has one person holding the rulebook and one person saying just start. Ask which they are, then check with the people who play with them.
Food
Sandwich cut diagonal or straight across?
Why ask it
No stakes and strong opinions, ideal for kids and tired adults alike. Anyone who claims it tastes different cut diagonally should be asked to defend that.
Crispy fries or soft fries?
Why ask it
Nobody is neutral on this, which makes it a safe opener. Ask which fry they reach for first when the basket lands and watch how precise the answer gets.
Recipe to the letter or improvise by taste?
Why ask it
Bakers and cooks split here, and so do planners and tinkerers in general. Ask for the improvisation that failed worst, because everyone has one.
Daily life
Exercise alone or exercise with a group?
Why ask it
Some need company to show up at all, and others want nobody watching. Ask what happens when the group cancels or the solo plan meets a rainy morning.
Umbrella or just get wet?
Why ask it
Splits the prepared from the resigned. Ask the get-wet crowd how many umbrellas they have owned and lost, since that is usually how they got there.
Birthday party or quiet birthday dinner?
Why ask it
Tells you how to celebrate this person, so remember the answer. Ask whether the preference has changed since they were a kid.
Travel
Winter escape to the sun or lean into the snow?
Why ask it
Travelers either flee their weather or double down on it. Ask what they grew up with, since the answer is often a reaction to it.
Come home rested or come home with stories?
Why ask it
The honest version of 'what is a vacation for'. Mismatched answers explain a lot of travel arguments, so it is a useful one for couples and friend groups.
Scenic route or fastest route?
Why ask it
Depends on who is driving and who is hungry, so ask for both conditions. You learn whether the journey counts as part of the trip for them.
Entertainment
Read the last page first or never peek?
Why ask it
Peekers exist and are usually hiding among you. If one confesses, ask whether knowing the ending made the middle better or worse.
Subtitles on or subtitles off?
Why ask it
Has quietly become a household fault line. Ask the subtitle fans whether they read ahead and ruin the joke for themselves, because plenty do.
Karaoke solo or cheering from the crowd?
Why ask it
Be gentle, since stage fright is real. The crowd side is often the most fun to ask what they would sing if nobody they knew was watching.
Personality
Finish what you start or start what excites you?
Why ask it
Finishers have fewer projects, and starters have a closet full of them. Ask the starters what is in the closet, and nobody will be offended.
Apologize first or wait for theirs?
Why ask it
Takes a little trust, so place it late. People who go first often say it is less about being wrong than about hating the silence.
Win the argument or keep the peace?
Why ask it
Most people know which they do and which they wish they did. Ask whether the answer changes between family, friends and work.
For kids
Play with one friend or play with a big group?
Why ask it
Neither answer is the shy one or the popular one, so read both halves in the same voice. What they would play is the follow-up, and it tells a parent what kind of birthday to plan.
Mac and cheese or spaghetti?
Why ask it
Two dinners nearly every five year old can picture, which makes it a fair one for kindergarten. Ask who makes it at their house and whether they get to stir.
Tiptoe everywhere or skip everywhere?
Why ask it
Send them across the room their chosen way, then back the other way so everyone tries both. A handy trick for moving a class from the carpet to their desks.
How to play this or that
Read the two options. Everyone answers at once, with no thinking time: say it, point, or hold up one finger or two. Then ask one person why, or use the follow-up when the note has one.
It is the fastest of the question games. A card takes seconds if nobody stops to argue, and the arguing is the good part.
Keeping it fast
- Answer fastFirst instinct only. The reader counts to three and everyone answers on three.
- No "it depends"Pick one. You can explain the conditions afterwards.
- One why per cardAsk a single person to explain, a different one each time, so the pace holds.
Three ways to keep score
- Lightning roundSet a timer for one minute and count how many cards the group gets through. Nobody explains an answer until the timer stops.
- Guess your partnerIn pairs, answer for the other person first, then find out whether you were right. A point for each correct guess.
- StreakTwo players answer on three. Count how many cards in a row they match.
One theme, or everything at once
- EverythingAll five themes shuffled together. Use it for a car ride, a classroom or the first minutes of a meeting.
- Food and EntertainmentThe lightest decks. Nobody minds being asked about fries or playlists, so start here with people who have just met.
- Daily life and TravelHabits and trips. Good for couples, housemates and travel partners, who will have opinions about each other's answers.
- PersonalityThe most revealing deck. It works better once a group has warmed up.
- For kidsEither-or picks a five to eleven year old can answer at once: food, animals, play, school and silly ones. It works as a movement game, with one side of the room for each answer.
The sets behind it
Nothing is written on the fly. Every card comes from one of these question sets, and each set has the whole list in an order that builds.