12 Questions

Funny Questions to Ask Crush the Turtle

Go full Finding Nemo energy—totally tubular questions for Crush the Turtle vibes.

1

If the current was a mood today, what vibe are we riding?

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Why this works

Sets playful tone with ocean metaphor.

2

What’s your secret to avoiding jellyfish drama?

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Why this works

Silly conflict avoidance lore.

3

What shell care routine keeps you this glossy?

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Why this works

Absurd self-care meets turtle aesthetics.

4

If waves had playlists, what’s on repeat?

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Why this works

Music plus ocean whimsy.

5

Great Barrier gossip—what’s the tea?

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Why this works

Cartoon world-building fun.

6

How many ‘whoa’ per hour is optimal?

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Why this works

Catchphrase ergonomics gag.

7

Fin-high or shell-bump—what’s your greeting?

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Why this works

Invented etiquette of sea life.

8

If you could swap shells for a day, whose would you borrow?

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Why this works

Character crossover jokes.

9

What snack keeps you cruising long-haul?

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Why this works

Food humor never fails.

10

What’s the gnarliest current you’ve shredded?

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Why this works

Tall tale brags, surfer style.

11

Teach me your best ‘righteous’ usage.

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Why this works

Interactive catchphrase moment.

12

If you had land legs for one day, what would you do?

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Why this works

Role-reversal absurdity.

Stay Silly, Dude

Expert tips and techniques for getting the most out of these questions.

Tone

Lean into surfer slang
Keep it kind and absurd
End with a unanimous ‘whoa’

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