Funny Would You Rather Questions
Would you rather questions written only to get a laugh, for kids, families, classrooms and any group that needs loosening up. They are sorted into Silly, Gross, Awkward and Absurd, and each section starts mild and gets worse. Every question has a note on how to land it, what to ask next and when to skip it. All of it is clean.
One at a time · 01 of 90
Silly
“Would you rather bray like a donkey every time you laugh or gobble like a turkey every time you are surprised?”
Why ask it
Demonstrations are mandatory. Whoever answers has to perform the sound, and the quality of the bray matters more than the choice.
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The questions
Each question, and why to ask it
Silly
Would you rather bray like a donkey every time you laugh or gobble like a turkey every time you are surprised?
Why ask it
Demonstrations are mandatory. Whoever answers has to perform the sound, and the quality of the bray matters more than the choice.
Would you rather waddle like a penguin everywhere you go or hop like a kangaroo whenever you are in a hurry?
Why ask it
With kids, let them act it out across the room. With adults, have them picture either option on the way into a job interview.
Would you rather have hair that grows a foot every night or fingernails that change color with your mood?
Why ask it
The hair sounds like a chore until someone realizes they could donate a ponytail a day. Mood nails are a problem for anyone who likes to seem calm.
Would you rather have a tail that wags when you are happy or ears that droop when you are sad?
Why ask it
Either way your feelings are now public. Dog owners go for the tail, and someone always wants to know how it would work with chairs.
Would you rather have pockets that are always full of glitter or shoes that are always full of sand?
Why ask it
Anyone who has cleaned up glitter knows this is not the easy choice it seems. Parents and teachers tend to pick the sand, grimly.
Would you rather have sneezes that sound like a trumpet fanfare or yawns that sound like a slide whistle?
Why ask it
Works best in a quiet setting, where people can imagine it happening right now. Allergy season makes the fanfare a serious commitment.
Would you rather own a hamster the size of a sofa or a giraffe the size of a teacup?
Why ask it
Cute in both directions, so nobody loses. Ask where the hamster would sleep and what it would do to the exercise wheel.
Would you rather jump as high as a house but always land on your backside or run incredibly fast but only in circles?
Why ask it
Both powers are useless in a very visible way, which is the appeal. Kids will want to test the circles option, so have some space ready.
Would you rather have every door you open creak like a haunted house or every step you take squeak like a dog toy?
Why ask it
Squeaking is funnier and creaking is easier to live with, and people know it. Dogs would follow the squeaker everywhere, which may settle it.
Would you rather have a mustache that changes style with your mood or eyebrows that dance whenever music plays?
Why ask it
Find out what style the mustache takes when they are annoyed. People give remarkably specific answers, often involving a villain's curl.
Would you rather speak only in rhyme every Monday or only in questions every Friday?
Why ask it
Invite the brave to try ten seconds of either right now. The rhymers fail fast and the questioners discover they sound suspicious of everything.
Would you rather have a small cloud that rains only on you or a spotlight that follows only you?
Why ask it
Shy people accept the rain without hesitation. It is a silly question that quietly tells you how someone feels about attention.
Would you rather wear all your clothes inside out or wear your shoes on the wrong feet?
Why ask it
Comfort against dignity. Small children may already be doing both, so with them you can simply ask which they prefer today.
Would you rather have knees that bend both ways or elbows that do not bend at all?
Why ask it
Have the elbow people mime eating a sandwich. Someone will attempt it with perfectly straight arms and the round pays for itself.
Would you rather use a rubber chicken as your only phone or a banana as your only TV remote?
Why ask it
Picturing an important call taken on a rubber chicken carries this one. Request a demonstration of the ringtone.
Would you rather high-five everyone you meet or bow deeply to every dog you pass?
Why ask it
Dog lovers claim they do the second one already. The high-five option gets harder the longer they think about dentists and elevators.
Would you rather have a tongue long enough to lick your elbow or arms long enough to tie your shoes standing up?
Why ask it
Expect at least one person to try licking their elbow on the spot. Let them, since the attempt is the entertainment.
Would you rather wear a full suit of armor to the beach or a swimsuit and snorkel to a snowball fight?
Why ask it
Two ways to be dressed wrong, one hot and one cold. People who hate the cold will take the armor no matter how much sand gets in it.
Would you rather have all your furniture be inflatable or all your clothes be made of wrapping paper?
Why ask it
Cat owners rule out the inflatable sofa at once. The wrapping paper wardrobe is loud, fragile and festive, and rain becomes a real concern.
Would you rather name every pet you ever own Gary or be called Captain by everyone you ever meet?
Why ask it
A goldfish named Gary is fine and a fifth one is a pattern. Whoever picks Captain should be addressed that way for the rest of the game.
Would you rather sleep standing up like a horse or hanging upside down like a bat?
Why ask it
A bedtime favorite with kids, for obvious reasons. Wonder aloud what happens to the blanket, and let them solve it.
Would you rather be toddler-sized with your own adult voice or your full size with a toddler's voice?
Why ask it
At the harder end of silly, since both would wreck a work call. Get them to say something serious in the voice they chose.
Gross
Would you rather wear wet socks all day or a damp swimsuit under your clothes all day?
Why ask it
Mildest of the gross ones, so use it to test the room. If people shudder at wet socks, go slowly with the rest of this section.
Would you rather have permanently sweaty palms or permanently itchy ankles?
Why ask it
Handshakes against sanity. People weigh how often they shake hands versus how often they could scratch without anyone seeing.
Would you rather always have a crumb somewhere on your face or always have something sticky on one hand?
Why ask it
Low on the gross scale and high on the annoying one. Notice who immediately wipes their face, just in case.
Would you rather have onion breath for a year or feet that smell like old cheese for a year?
Why ask it
Feet can be hidden in shoes, and breath goes everywhere you do. The debate is mostly about who suffers more, you or the people around you.
Would you rather wash your hair with ketchup or brush your teeth with mustard, every day for a month?
Why ask it
Kids find this hilarious and will want to add their own condiments. Let them, as the list of worse options is the real game.
Would you rather hold a slug in each hand for an hour or wear a hat full of cold spaghetti for a day?
Why ask it
Slime you can see against slime you can only feel. Gardeners shrug at the slugs, which annoys everyone else in a satisfying way.
Would you rather find a hair in every meal for a week or a bug in just one meal, without knowing which?
Why ask it
Certainty against dread. The bug option turns every dinner into suspense, and that is why careful people take the hairs.
Would you rather let a snail crawl slowly across your face or let a spider sit on your hand for a full minute?
Why ask it
Check for a real fear of spiders first and skip it if someone goes pale. Otherwise the snail's speed is the detail that makes people squirm.
Would you rather share a sleeping bag with a wet dog or a tent with a cloud of moths?
Why ask it
Campers have often lived one of these. Dog owners defend the wet dog out of loyalty until you make them describe the smell.
Would you rather burp every time you say hello or have your stomach growl whenever a room goes quiet?
Why ask it
One you cause and one just happens to you, which changes how embarrassing it feels. Shy people tend to take the growl, since it is not their fault.
Would you rather sleep on a pillow that smells like someone else's feet or under a blanket that is always slightly damp?
Why ask it
Smell against touch. Nearly everyone has a clear winner for worst sense, and this is a quick way to learn which.
Would you rather drink a smoothie made from everything in your fridge door or eat a sandwich that has been in a backpack since Monday?
Why ask it
The fridge door is where the mustard, jam and salad dressing live, so make them list theirs. The inventory is usually worse than the sandwich.
Would you rather eat a jar of mayonnaise with a spoon or drink a glass of pickle brine with every meal for a week?
Why ask it
There is always one person who likes pickle brine and will say so proudly. Give them the moment, then bring up the mayonnaise.
Would you rather have a fly land in your open mouth once a day or a mosquito in your bedroom every night?
Why ask it
A brief horror against a long irritation. Light sleepers take the fly without any discussion at all, and they do not want to talk about it.
Would you rather bite into an apple and find half a worm or pour chunky milk onto the last bowl of your favorite cereal?
Why ask it
Half a worm is the key phrase, so give people a second to work out where the other half went. The milk at least announces itself.
Would you rather wear the same unwashed gym shirt for a month or the same unwashed socks for a month?
Why ask it
Everyone around them gets a vote on this one. See whether they would choose differently if they worked alone, far from other noses.
Would you rather clean out a clogged shower drain with bare hands or empty the trash for a school cafeteria for a week?
Why ask it
One awful minute or a week of moderate awfulness. Anyone who has done either job for real will answer with authority and detail.
Would you rather drink the water hot dogs were boiled in or the liquid from a can of tuna?
Why ask it
Pure sensory imagination with no redeeming strategy. Save it for a group that is already groaning happily, and not right before a meal.
Would you rather reach into murky dishwater to find the drain or into a full vacuum bag to find an earring?
Why ask it
Wet unknown against dry unknown. People are surprisingly firm about which texture is worse, and the thing they cannot see is what gets them.
Would you rather sit beside someone flossing their teeth on a long bus ride or someone eating very ripe cheese with their hands?
Why ask it
Sight against smell. Frequent travelers have usually met both passengers and can tell you which one they still think about.
Would you rather chew a piece of gum you found under a desk or use a stranger's toothbrush for a week?
Why ask it
Near the top of the gross scale, so read the room first. One terrible moment against seven days of mild horror is the actual choice.
Would you rather find a long hair in your mouth that is not yours or a toenail clipping in your bed that is not yours?
Why ask it
The phrase 'not yours' does all the damage here. Finish the gross section on it, since nothing milder will land afterward.
Awkward
Would you rather wave back at someone who was waving at the person behind you or say 'you too' when a waiter says enjoy your meal?
Why ask it
Everyone has done both, which makes it a confession more than a choice. Find out which one they still think about late at night.
Would you rather pull a door marked push while a line of people watches or walk into a glass door with only one witness?
Why ask it
Audience size against severity. People who pick the glass door are betting they can swear one witness to silence.
Would you rather go for a handshake while they go for a hug or go for a hug while they go for a fist bump?
Why ask it
Physical comedy this easy should be acted out, so have two volunteers demonstrate. Reserved people fear the hug version far more.
Would you rather say a big goodbye and then walk the same way as the person for ten minutes or hold a door for someone who is much too far away?
Why ask it
Two tiny social traps with no graceful exit. Get them to admit what they actually do in the door situation: the awkward jog is a common confession.
Would you rather loudly wish someone a happy birthday on the wrong day or forget your best friend's actual birthday?
Why ask it
Public embarrassment against private guilt. People who choose forgetting often have a very forgiving best friend, and you can ask about that.
Would you rather call your boss or teacher 'Mom' in front of everyone or call your mom by your boss's name at dinner?
Why ask it
Plenty of people did the first one in second grade and have not recovered. The dinner version is rarer and somehow much more worrying.
Would you rather wear the exact same outfit as the party's host or show up in costume to a party that is not a costume party?
Why ask it
Confident people take the costume and commit to it. The follow-up is which costume, because a dinosaur and a vampire are different evenings.
Would you rather trip on stage while accepting an award or forget the name of the person you are introducing?
Why ask it
A fall hurts you and a forgotten name hurts someone else. Notice who picks the trip for that reason, because those are considerate people.
Would you rather be caught singing in your car by a coworker at a red light or caught talking to yourself in a store by a neighbor?
Why ask it
Hardly anyone is innocent of both. Ask what song it was, and whether they stopped singing or decided to see it through.
Would you rather send a text complaining about someone to that exact person or have them overhear you saying it?
Why ask it
Written evidence against a live performance. Nearly everyone has a story close to this, so expect the hypothetical to collapse into real ones.
Would you rather clap alone at the wrong moment in a concert or confidently sing the wrong verse while everyone else sings the right one?
Why ask it
Being wrong alone in silence against being wrong loudly in a crowd. Regulars at classical concerts have a real fear of the first option.
Would you rather tell a long story and realize halfway that this group has heard it or forget the ending of a joke at the punchline?
Why ask it
Natural storytellers feel both of these in their bones. Whether they would stop the repeated story or push on shows how they handle a stumble.
Would you rather laugh uncontrollably at a serious moment or be the only person who does not get a joke everyone else is crying over?
Why ask it
Too much laughter against too little. People with a history of giggling in assemblies or ceremonies will identify themselves at once.
Would you rather open a gift you clearly dislike in front of the giver or give a gift and watch them realize they already own it?
Why ask it
Tests acting ability against taste. Make them show the face they would pull, and let the group judge whether the giver would be fooled.
Would you rather sit through a haircut you hate and say you love it or send back a meal and then eat the new one while the chef watches?
Why ask it
A measure of how much discomfort someone will absorb to avoid a fuss. Lying to a hairdresser is common, and few will admit how often they do it.
Would you rather be overheard rehearsing a conversation in the mirror or be seen practicing a victory dance before the game starts?
Why ask it
Both reveal that you planned ahead, and being caught planning is the embarrassing part. Ask to see the dance, within reason.
Would you rather be stuck in an elevator with someone whose name you have forgotten twice or someone who remembers everything about you?
Why ask it
Being remembered sounds flattering for about three seconds. Watch people work out that a near stranger who knows every detail is worse than a forgotten name.
Would you rather accidentally like a photo from five years ago or accidentally start a video call with someone you barely know?
Why ask it
A modern pair that needs no explanation for anyone with a phone. Expect an argument about whether unliking the photo makes it better or worse.
Would you rather be on a video call and not know your camera is on or not know your microphone is on?
Why ask it
Depends entirely on what someone does when they think nobody is watching or listening. They will not tell you, and the answer tells you anyway.
Would you rather give a whole presentation with your zipper down or with a smudge of ink across your face that nobody mentions?
Why ask it
The real villain is the audience that says nothing. Find out whether they would want to be told, and whether they would tell someone else.
Would you rather reply all with a private joke by mistake or present the wrong slides and not notice for five minutes?
Why ask it
Best with coworkers, who have usually witnessed one of these. Keep it hypothetical and do not let it become a roast of a specific colleague.
Would you rather have your search history or your camera roll shown on a big screen at a family reunion?
Why ask it
Entirely innocent for most people and still unbearable: odd questions typed at midnight, or forty near-identical selfies. Let them pick their poison.
Would you rather be introduced to a crowd with the wrong name or spend a year being called the wrong name by someone you see daily?
Why ask it
Real people live the second one for years, never finding the right moment to correct it. If someone at the table has, give them the floor.
Would you rather meet your hero and say something you replay forever or never get the chance to meet them at all?
Why ask it
The toughest of the awkward ones, since it asks what a moment is worth if it goes badly. Ask who the hero is first, and the stakes set themselves.
Absurd
Would you rather have every bird know your name or every fish know your secrets?
Why ask it
The fish cannot tell anyone, probably. People get oddly thoughtful about whether being greeted by crows every morning is a gift or a threat.
Would you rather be paid your salary in live chickens or in antique doorknobs?
Why ask it
Practical minds start calculating eggs at once. Ask how they would pay rent, and enjoy the barter economy that gets invented at the table.
Would you rather be haunted by a ghost who corrects your grammar or a ghost who rearranges your spice rack?
Why ask it
Both ghosts are harmless and both would wear you down. People who alphabetize their spices take this as a genuine threat.
Would you rather have your shadow wander off to do its own thing or have your reflection run five seconds behind you?
Why ask it
Pleasantly eerie without being scary, so it works with older kids. Ask where the shadow goes when it leaves, and what it gets up to.
Would you rather be mayor of a town populated entirely by pigeons or the only human employee at a company run by cats?
Why ask it
Leadership against employment, both under terrible conditions. Cat owners already know how the meetings would go, and who would knock the mug off the desk.
Would you rather share your home with a polite family of bears or have one very rude dolphin living in your bathtub?
Why ask it
Manners turn out to matter more than size. Ask what the dolphin says, since everyone imagines its rudeness a little differently.
Would you rather have to win a staring contest with an owl to leave your house or answer a troll's riddle to get into work?
Why ask it
A daily obstacle either way. Competitive people pick the owl, sure they can outstare a bird. Demand a sample riddle from anyone who picks the troll.
Would you rather live in a house where gravity switches off every day at noon or one where every room is a different season?
Why ask it
Kids go straight for the floating. Adults start thinking about soup at noon and heating bills in the winter room, which is its own kind of funny.
Would you rather have furniture that is alive and slightly needy or appliances that are alive and deeply sarcastic?
Why ask it
Asks, in disguise, whether someone would rather be needed or mocked at home. Have them voice the toaster for full effect.
Would you rather have every Tuesday happen twice or have February quietly removed from the calendar?
Why ask it
People with February birthdays object loudly, and they should. The double Tuesday divides those who like routine from those who dread it.
Would you rather communicate only through interpretive dance or only through hand-drawn cartoons?
Why ask it
Try a live round: have someone request the salt using their chosen method. Drawing is slower, and the dancing is harder to ignore.
Would you rather have the moon follow you around personally or have the tide come in wherever you stand still too long?
Why ask it
Pure nonsense, and it needs a group willing to reason about nonsense. The best answers consider how everyone else feels about losing the moon.
Would you rather spend one day a month as a houseplant that hears everything or as a pigeon that can go anywhere?
Why ask it
Listening against roaming. The houseplant crowd wants to know what is said when they leave the room, and they will say so openly.
Would you rather own a staircase that leads somewhere different each time or a closet that returns things a week after you put them in?
Why ask it
Adventure against mild inconvenience. Check whether the staircase people would still climb it if they were running late.
Would you rather get letters from the year 1900 in your mailbox or get phone calls meant for a pizza place in another country?
Why ask it
Some will write back to the past and some will start taking the pizza orders. Either way you learn who commits to a bit.
Would you rather swap hands with a lobster for a week or swap voices with a parrot for a month?
Why ask it
Walk them through one normal morning: buttons, phone screens, saying hello. The parrot seems easier until the first work meeting.
Would you rather have your dreams broadcast on local television or have to act out a stranger's dream every morning?
Why ask it
Dreams are mostly dull and make no sense, which is the saving grace of the first option. Performers take the second and treat it as a job.
Would you rather have the floor really be lava for one random minute a day or the ceiling be water for one random hour a week?
Why ask it
Anyone who played the lava game as a child has trained for this. Make them say where they would be standing right now if the minute began.
Would you rather grow an inch every time you tell a lie or shrink an inch every time you tell a truth nobody wanted?
Why ask it
Do the math aloud with the group: polite people would be giants within a month. Blunt people run the opposite sum and go quiet.
Would you rather have every sentence you write turn into a limerick or every photo you take turn into an oil painting of a horse?
Why ask it
Horse paintings are the sleeper choice, since some people would simply stop taking photos. Bring up what the limerick rule does to a work email.
Would you rather have the ocean be one foot deep everywhere or every puddle be bottomless?
Why ask it
Feels like a throwaway until people start on the consequences for whales, ships and rainy walks to school. Let the reasoning get out of hand.
Would you rather learn that your houseplants have been gossiping about you or that your car has been keeping a diary?
Why ask it
Saved for last because nothing tops it. The follow-up writes itself: what do the plants say, and what is in the entry from your worst day of driving?
How to get the laugh
Practical guidance for the conversation itself
Reading them well
Read it straight
These land better when the person asking sounds completely serious, as if braying like a donkey were a real option on a form. Do not laugh before the end of the sentence. Let the group get there first.
Pause before the second option
Most of these are built so that the second half is the twist. A short beat after the word or lets people settle on the first option before you take it away from them.
Invite a demonstration
Many of the Silly questions are secretly invitations to perform a sound, a walk or a face. Offer the chance whenever there is something to act out. Nobody should be pushed into it, but the offer is usually accepted.
Build on the premise
When someone answers, add a consequence instead of moving on: how the tail works with chairs, what the ghost does on holidays. Treating a ridiculous idea with careful logic is where the second and third laughs come from.
Matching the list to the crowd
With young kids
Silly and Absurd are the safest sections, and Gross is often the favorite. Skip the workplace questions in Awkward, which mean nothing to a seven-year-old, and let kids invent their own versions after a few turns.
With coworkers
Awkward is the richest section for colleagues because everyone has lived some of it. Keep answers hypothetical and steer away from stories about people who are in the room or on the team.
With mixed ages
Rotate through the sections so that no group sits through a long run that is not for them. A gross question, then an awkward one, then an absurd one keeps grandparents and grandchildren in the same game.
Check the appetite for gross
Start with the mildest question in that section and watch the faces. If people lean in, carry on down the list. If anyone looks queasy, or food is about to be served, leave the rest for another day.
Games and rescues
Straight face
- 1Pick one reader for the round.
- 2The reader asks each question as seriously as possible while everyone else tries not to laugh.
- 3Anyone who laughs before the question ends has to answer it first.
- 4Hand the reader role to whoever kept a straight face the longest.
Make it worse
- 1Read a question and let one person answer.
- 2The next person adds a condition that makes the chosen option worse.
- 3The first person may switch options or stay put.
- 4Keep adding conditions until they switch, then start a new question.
Write your own
- 1After a few turns, hand out paper and have everyone write one question in the same style.
- 2Collect them and read them out without names.
- 3The group answers each one and then guesses who wrote it.
- 4Keep the best ones for next time.
If a joke falls flat
Some questions will get silence. Do not explain why it was funny. Say which option you would take, give an absurdly practical reason, and read the next one. Momentum matters more than any single question.
If someone gets embarrassed
The Awkward section works because the situations are familiar, and now and then one is too familiar. Never press for the real story behind an answer. If someone goes red, offer a small confession of your own and the attention moves on.