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02 · Social & Fun

Golf Questions to Ask

Questions for a round of golf, covering how long someone has played, their home course, the best round they remember, what they are working on, and how they handle a bad hole.

20 questions · each with a note on why · conversation guide

The questions

Open any question for the note

  1. How long have you been playing?

    Why ask it

    The standard opener, and it does real work: somebody three years in and somebody thirty years in want completely different conversations.

  2. Where do you play most often?

    Why ask it

    Home course sets the terms for everything else. A links, a municipal course or a resort produce different games and different complaints.

  3. What's the best round you have ever played?

    Why ask it

    Lets someone relive a good day, and the number tells you their level without you having to ask for a handicap.

  4. Which course would you go back to tomorrow?

    Why ask it

    Better than asking for a favorite, which invites the famous answer. Wanting to return tomorrow gets you the course they actually enjoy playing.

  5. What part of your game are you working on?

    Why ask it

    Every golfer has a project, and the answer usually arrives with the drill and the video they are following.

  6. What's the most frustrating part of golf for you?

    Why ask it

    Frustration is the most common experience in the game, so this builds common ground fast. Expect putting, or the gap between range and course.

  7. Walking or riding, and why?

    Why ask it

    A practical question with an opinionated answer. It also tells you whether a round with them is exercise or a ride.

  8. Have you ever had a hole-in-one, or been close?

    Why ask it

    The 'or close' matters: most golfers never have one, and the near miss is usually the better story anyway.

  9. What's the most memorable shot you have hit?

    Why ask it

    One shot is easier to tell than one round, and the details come loaded: the lie, the club, who was watching.

  10. What's your warmup before a round, if you have one?

    Why ask it

    Warmups range from an hour of range balls to a coffee and a stretch. Either answer tells you how seriously the round is being treated.

  11. Have you played competitively, and how did the nerves go?

    Why ask it

    Competition is where the mental side shows. Asking about nerves rather than results gets you past the scorecard.

  12. What's the hardest course you have played?

    Why ask it

    Difficulty produces stories. Listen for whether they blame the design, the conditions or themselves.

  13. How do you get out of a bunker?

    Why ask it

    A technical question that invites teaching, which most golfers enjoy. It also reveals whether they practice the shot or avoid it.

  14. How do you recover mentally after a bad hole?

    Why ask it

    The answer applies well beyond golf. Watch for whether they have an actual method or just claim not to mind.

  15. Do you have a superstition, a lucky ball or a fixed routine?

    Why ask it

    Light and revealing. Almost every golfer has one, and most are slightly embarrassed to describe it.

  16. Which equipment change actually made a difference?

    Why ask it

    Cuts past gear talk to what changed a score. Honest answers more often mention a fitting or a wedge than a new driver.

  17. Do you follow the tour, and which week do you make time for?

    Why ask it

    Separates players from followers. The week somebody clears their schedule for says what they value about the sport.

  18. What's the worst weather you have played through?

    Why ask it

    A story about stubbornness rather than skill, and everybody who plays has one.

  19. What would you tell someone who has just started?

    Why ask it

    Advice for beginners reveals what they think matters: score, etiquette, or simply getting round without holding people up.

  20. If you could play one round with anyone, living or dead, who?

    Why ask it

    Closes on something easy after a lot of specifics. The reason for the choice matters more than the name.

Conversation on the course

Practical guidance for the conversation itself

Timing

  • Golf gives you four hours of talking with natural pauses. Use the walk between shots and the wait on the tee, not the moment somebody is over the ball.
  • Say nothing during a pre-shot routine, and nothing at all after a bad shot until they speak first.
  • Do not let the conversation slow play. Be ready when it is your turn, and talk while you walk.

Reading a playing partner

  • Match the seriousness of their game. Somebody counting every stroke does not want a running commentary, and somebody playing for fun does not want a rules debate.
  • How a person treats the course and the staff, and what they do after a lost ball, tells you more in one round than a month of meetings would.
  • With a much better or much worse player, agree a format on the first tee that keeps everyone in the round: best ball, or strokes given.

What to avoid

  • No unsolicited swing advice. It is the fastest way to sour a round, however well meant.
  • Do not tally somebody else's score aloud, and do not ask what they shot until they offer it.
  • If there is money on the round, settle the terms on the first tee, keep the stakes small, and pay up without discussion.