Golf Questions to Ask a Guy
Twenty questions to ask a guy about his golf: how he started, where he plays most, his handicap, what he is trying to fix, how he handles a bad hole, and the gear he swears by.
The questions
Open any question for the note
How did you get into golf, and who took you the first time?
Why ask it
Almost nobody starts alone, so the answer comes with a person attached: a father, a boss, a friend with spare clubs. That is usually the better story.
Where do you play most, and what's it like?
Why ask it
Home course tells you more than a favorite course does. Listen for whether he plays a municipal track or a private club, and how often he gets out.
What's your handicap, or roughly what do you shoot?
Why ask it
Handicap is the shared language of the game and he will not mind being asked. If he does not keep one, what he shoots does the same job.
Which club in the bag do you trust when it matters?
Why ask it
Gets him talking about a strength rather than a weakness, and the answer normally arrives with the shot that earned that trust.
What part of your game are you trying to fix right now?
Why ask it
Every golfer has a current project. If the answer is 'everything', he probably has not played much lately.
Walking or riding, and why?
Why ask it
Sounds like small talk and turns into his whole view of pace, fitness and what a round is for.
Do you keep a strict card, or does your group have house rules?
Why ask it
Uncovers the negotiated traditions of his group: gimmes, mulligans, and the one hole where the rules stop applying.
Who do you usually play with, and how did that group start?
Why ask it
Golf groups are long friendships with a fixed schedule. Asking how it formed can get you fifteen years of history.
Would you rather a loose scramble with friends or a quiet round on your own?
Why ask it
The split between golf as social time and golf as solitude is worth knowing before you suggest joining him.
What's the best shot you have ever hit?
Why ask it
Better than asking about his best round, because one shot is easier to describe. Expect the club, the yardage and the weather.
What's the toughest hole you have played, and what happened?
Why ask it
Difficulty produces vivid detail. Even when he cannot remember the score, he remembers exactly where the ball went.
How do you reset after a bad hole?
Why ask it
The most useful question on the list. What he does with four wasted hours after one bad hole says something about him off the course too.
What's the funniest thing you have seen on a course?
Why ask it
Keeps the tone light after the frustration question, and course stories are usually about somebody else's misfortune.
Which piece of gear was actually worth the money?
Why ask it
Cuts through equipment enthusiasm to what changed. Honest golfers will admit to the expensive purchase that did nothing.
What's your routine before a round, and does it help?
Why ask it
The second half stops this being a recital. Some golfers know their routine is superstition and do it anyway.
Where would you play if money and time were not an issue?
Why ask it
Everyone has a list. Watch whether he names the obvious famous course or somewhere specific he has been reading about for years.
Which pro's game do you actually enjoy watching?
Why ask it
Enjoyment rather than greatness, which avoids the same three names. What he likes watching describes what he wishes he could do.
What's the best round you have watched, in person or on television?
Why ask it
Shifts to golf as something he follows. The rounds people remember are collapses about as often as victories.
If you could change one rule of golf, which one?
Why ask it
Golfers hold strong views here. The rule he picks usually tells you which part of his own game gets punished most.
What would you tell someone picking up clubs for the first time?
Why ask it
Advice reveals what he thinks the game is for: score, etiquette, or getting outside for four hours. Notice whether he mentions the cost.
Talking golf without boring either of you
Practical guidance for the conversation itself
On the course
- Ask between shots and while walking, never while he is standing over the ball. Questions during a pre-shot routine get remembered.
- Save the bad-hole question until he has actually had one. Asked in the abstract it gets a modest answer; asked on the sixteenth tee it gets an honest one.
- Keep pace. A conversation that holds up the group behind costs more goodwill than it earns.
If you do not play
- Handicap, home course and current project are enough vocabulary to hold a real conversation. You do not have to pretend to more.
- Say plainly that you do not play. Golfers are usually pleased to explain, and guessing at terms is more awkward than asking.
- Ask what a shot felt like rather than whether it was good. That works whether or not you can tell.
What to avoid
- No swing advice, ever, unless he asks twice.
- Do not turn his handicap into a ranking or compare it to someone else's. He knows exactly where he stands.
- Skip the money questions: club fees, equipment prices, what the round cost. Golf carries enough of that already.