20 Questions

Lesbian Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend

Thoughtful questions designed to deepen your relationship, understand your girlfriend's experiences, and create meaningful connections in your lesbian relationship.

1

What's something you're really proud of that you accomplished recently?

Click to see why this works

Why this works

Celebrates her achievements and builds confidence. This question shows you value her accomplishments and helps her feel recognized for her efforts.

2

What's the most interesting thing you learned today?

Click to see why this works

Why this works

Encourages learning and shows interest in her intellectual growth. This question helps you understand what captures her attention and curiosity.

3

What's something that made you laugh recently?

Click to see why this works

Why this works

Sharing laughter creates connection and joy. This question helps you understand her sense of humor and what brings her happiness.

4

What's a challenge you're facing right now and how can I help?

Click to see why this works

Why this works

Shows you're available for support and problem-solving. This question helps you understand her struggles and provides opportunities to offer guidance.

5

What's something you're looking forward to this week?

Click to see why this works

Why this works

Reveals her interests and excitement about the future. This question helps you understand what motivates her and what she values.

6

What's your favorite way to spend time together?

Click to see why this works

Why this works

Understanding her preferences helps you plan meaningful activities. This question reveals what she values in your relationship and what brings her joy.

7

What's something you wish you could do more of?

Click to see why this works

Why this works

Reveals her interests and aspirations. This question helps you understand what she values and what activities bring her fulfillment.

8

What's the best advice someone has given you recently?

Click to see why this works

Why this works

Shows you value her learning from others. This question helps you understand what wisdom resonates with her and what guidance she finds valuable.

9

What's something you're curious about or want to learn more about?

Click to see why this works

Why this works

Encourages intellectual curiosity and lifelong learning. This question helps you understand her interests and provides opportunities to support her learning.

10

What's a goal you have for yourself this year?

Click to see why this works

Why this works

Understanding her goals helps you support her aspirations. This question reveals her ambitions and provides opportunities to offer encouragement and guidance.

11

What's something that surprised you recently?

Click to see why this works

Why this works

Sharing surprises creates connection and wonder. This question helps you understand what catches her attention and what she finds remarkable.

12

What's your favorite thing about our relationship?

Click to see why this works

Why this works

Strengthens your bond and shows appreciation. This question helps you understand what she values about your relationship and what makes her feel connected.

13

What's something you're grateful for today?

Click to see why this works

Why this works

Cultivates gratitude and positive thinking. This question helps you understand what she values and appreciate, fostering a positive mindset.

14

What's a skill you'd like to develop or improve?

Click to see why this works

Why this works

Encourages personal growth and development. This question helps you understand her aspirations and provides opportunities to support her learning.

15

What's something that made you feel proud of yourself?

Click to see why this works

Why this works

Builds self-esteem and confidence. This question helps you understand what she values about herself and what makes her feel accomplished.

16

What's a question you have about the world or how things work?

Click to see why this works

Why this works

Encourages curiosity and critical thinking. This question helps you understand her intellectual interests and provides opportunities for learning together.

17

What's something you'd like to do together as a couple?

Click to see why this works

Why this works

Strengthens your connection and creates shared experiences. This question helps you understand her preferences and plan meaningful activities together.

18

What's a memory you have that makes you smile?

Click to see why this works

Why this works

Sharing positive memories creates connection and joy. This question helps you understand what experiences she values and what brings her happiness.

19

What's something you're worried about and how can I help?

Click to see why this works

Why this works

Shows you're available for emotional support. This question helps you understand her concerns and provides opportunities to offer comfort and guidance.

20

What's something you love about yourself?

Click to see why this works

Why this works

Builds self-esteem and positive self-image. This question helps you understand what she values about herself and what makes her feel confident.

Lesbian Relationship Guide

Expert tips and techniques for getting the most out of these questions.

Relationship Best Practices

Listen Without Judgment

Create a safe space for your girlfriend to share openly. Avoid criticizing or dismissing her thoughts and feelings, even if you don't agree with them.

Ask Follow-up Questions

Show genuine interest by asking follow-up questions about her responses. This demonstrates that you're listening and care about her experiences.

Share Your Own Experiences

When appropriate, share your own relevant experiences. This creates connection and shows that you understand what she's going through.

Question Sequences

The Achievement Celebration Series

1
What's something you're really proud of that you accomplished recently?
2
What's something that made you feel proud of yourself?
3
What's a goal you have for yourself this year?
4
What's a skill you'd like to develop or improve?

The Learning and Growth Series

1
What's the most interesting thing you learned today?
2
What's something you're curious about or want to learn more about?
3
What's a question you have about the world or how things work?
4
What's the best advice someone has given you recently?

Common Pitfalls

Don't Interrogate

Avoid asking too many questions at once or making it feel like an interrogation. Keep the conversation natural and comfortable.

Avoid Giving Unsolicited Advice

Don't immediately jump to giving advice when she shares problems. Listen first, then ask if she wants your input before offering solutions.

Don't Dismiss Her Feelings

Even if her concerns seem trivial to you, they're important to her. Validate her feelings and take her concerns seriously.

Conversation Templates

The Daily Check-in

1
Step 1: Start with: "What's the most interesting thing you learned today?"
2
Step 2: Follow with: "What's something that made you laugh recently?"
3
Step 3: Explore with: "What's something you're grateful for today?"
4
Step 4: Conclude with: "What's something you're looking forward to this week?"

The Support and Growth

1
Step 1: Begin with: "What's a challenge you're facing right now and how can I help?"
2
Step 2: Investigate with: "What's something you're worried about and how can I help?"
3
Step 3: Explore with: "What's a goal you have for yourself this year?"
4
Step 4: Support with: "What's a skill you'd like to develop or improve?"

Further Reading

"The Lesbian Love Handbook" by Kate Kendell
"Lesbian Relationships" by Suzannah Weiss
"The Lesbian Couple's Guide" by D. Merilee Clunis

Find Your Perfect Questions

Search our collection of thoughtful questions for any conversation or situation