Questions to Ask About Food
These are for anyone making conversation about food: friends around a table, a date, family at dinner, coworkers at lunch or a class. The 61 questions run in six groups, in the order a food conversation tends to go: Favorites, Growing up, Cooking, Eating out, Memories and Hypotheticals. Each one has a short note on the follow-up to ask or what to do with the answer.
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The questions
Each question, and why to ask it
Favorites
What is your all-time favorite food?
Why ask it
The plainest question here and the one people stall on, because a single lifetime favorite is a lot to commit to. If someone freezes, offer a way in: their favorite as a kid, or what they would ask for on a birthday. A dish with a cook's name attached is a better answer than a category like 'Italian.'
What is the best thing you have eaten this week?
Why ask it
A week is short enough that the details are still fresh: where they were, who made it, what it cost. If you get 'nothing special,' ask what they wish it had been.
What food could you eat every day and never get tired of?
Why ask it
Answers come fast and are usually plain: rice, eggs, one particular sandwich. Ask exactly how they have it, because the opinions live in the details.
What is one food you will not eat, and what happened?
Why ask it
'What happened' turns a dislike into a story, often set in a school cafeteria or on a long car ride. If the answer is an allergy, a diet or a flat 'I just don't,' take it as given and do not try to convert anyone at the table.
Sweet or salty, if you could only keep one?
Why ask it
In a group, count to three and have everyone answer at once so nobody copies. Then ask each side for the single food that decided it, and give them a minute to win one person over.
What dessert can you never say no to?
Why ask it
Some people will answer with a cheese plate or a second helping of dinner, and that counts. In a restaurant, ask it before the dessert menus come and you will know whether to order one for the table.
How spicy do you like your food?
Why ask it
Heat is relative: one family's mild is another's dare, so ask for the dish that marks their upper limit instead of a number. It is worth knowing before you cook for someone or pick a restaurant together, and it is not a contest, so do not push anyone to prove it.
What is your comfort food after a bad day?
Why ask it
Comfort food answers tend to be warm, soft and cheap, and almost never anything fancy. Remember what they say: turning up with that exact thing some rough evening is the best use of this question.
Which food do you love that most people you know can't stand?
Why ask it
Black licorice, anchovies and blue cheese all have loyal defenders. Let the table groan first, then ask who got them into it, since an unpopular taste is usually picked up from somebody.
What strange food combination do you swear by?
Why ask it
The fair response is to try it before judging, if the ingredients are in the house, and report back honestly. Fries dipped in a milkshake are an easy sell. Peanut butter with pickles takes more trust.
What sauce or topping ends up on nearly everything you eat?
Why ask it
Hot sauce people will name the brand and may have a bottle within reach. It is a small question that gives a host, a roommate or a new partner something to use the next time they shop.
Which snack do you buy for yourself and keep away from everyone else?
Why ask it
A light confession that suits families and roommates, who can confirm the habit or expose the hiding place. With coworkers it tends to reveal the desk drawer.
Which food did you once hate and now like?
Why ask it
Ask what changed: a better cook, a trip or just getting older. Mushrooms, olives and coffee come up often, and at a family table the question lets kids hear that tastes are allowed to move.
Growing up
What did a normal weeknight dinner look like in your house growing up?
Why ask it
Asking what it looked like gets a scene: who cooked, who sat where, whether a television was on. Home meals were not happy for everyone, so if the answer comes back short, leave it and go to a lighter question.
Who did most of the cooking when you were a kid, and what were they known for?
Why ask it
You will often hear about one dish made with total confidence and another made badly with love. Ask which of the two they would want on the table tonight.
What dish is your hometown or region known for, and is it actually good?
Why ask it
Suited to a class or a group from different places, because each person becomes the expert on one town. Locals are often lukewarm about the famous dish and devoted to one nobody outside has heard of, so ask for that second one too.
What was in your school lunch, and would you have traded it?
Why ask it
School lunches differ a lot from one country, town and decade to the next, which makes this a good one for a mixed group or a class. The trading economy is the fun part, so find out what was worth the most.
Which dish tastes like home to you?
Why ask it
Give people a moment, because the first answer is sometimes the one they think they ought to give. The true one tends to be plainer and tied to a single kitchen, and home may be a place they chose and not the one they were born in.
What did your family eat on holidays or birthdays that other families did not?
Why ask it
Every family thinks its holiday table is normal until someone marries in. Partners and old friends should be invited to say what surprised them the first time they were served it.
What food rule did you grow up with that turned out not to be universal?
Why ask it
Clean your plate, nothing to drink until the food is gone, ketchup kept in the cupboard and never the fridge. Couples and roommates sometimes discover here why they have been quietly annoying each other for years.
What were you made to eat as a kid, and have you forgiven it?
Why ask it
Overboiled vegetables and liver come up a lot. A parent at the table may hear a pointed answer, and the right move is to laugh and ask whether the verdict still stands.
What did you eat at a friend's house that you had never seen at home?
Why ask it
For many people this was the first sign that other families ate differently: another cuisine, a brand-name cereal, dessert on a weeknight. Ask whether they went home and requested it, and how that went over.
Is there a family recipe that only one person knows how to make?
Why ask it
If the answer is yes and nothing is written down, say so out loud: that is a job for this month. Offer to stand in the kitchen taking notes, since those cooks rarely measure anything.
Cooking
Do you like to cook, or is it mostly a way to get fed?
Why ask it
Either answer is fine, and saying so keeps the non-cooks in the conversation. Ask the ones who enjoy it when that started, and the ones who do not who feeds them: a partner, a microwave or the same three takeout places.
What do you eat for breakfast on a workday, and what changes on a day off?
Why ask it
Easy enough for a table of strangers or a beginner language class, since everyone has an answer, even if it is only coffee. The day-off half is the better one: it shows what a person makes when there is time.
What is the first meal you remember making on your own?
Why ask it
Expect scrambled eggs, boxed pasta or something involving a toaster, plus an age. How proud they still sound tells you whether cooking became a pleasure or stayed a chore.
What do you cook when you want to impress someone?
Why ask it
On a date this is close to an offer, so be ready for it to become a plan. People who say they do not cook usually still have one dish, and it is worth coaxing out.
What do you make when you are tired and nobody is watching?
Why ask it
The honest answers are cereal for dinner and things eaten standing at the counter, and nobody should be teased for either. If they also have a dish they make for company, the distance between the two is the entertainment.
What is your worst kitchen disaster?
Why ask it
Smoke alarms, salt mistaken for sugar, a holiday bird still frozen in the middle. Ask who was there to witness it and whether anyone ate the result anyway.
Do you follow a recipe to the letter or treat it as a suggestion?
Why ask it
Two kinds of cook, and they often share a kitchen. If both are at the table, ask who does the baking, where improvising gets punished.
What is always in your fridge, no matter how empty it gets?
Why ask it
Ask what meal they could make right now from only what is in there. A door full of mustard, pickles and one tired lemon makes that harder than it sounds.
Which kitchen job do you quietly enjoy, and which do you avoid?
Why ask it
Some people find chopping onions calming and would do anything to skip the dishes. Housemates can use the answers to redraw who does what, which makes this more practical than it looks.
What dish have you tried to copy from a relative or a restaurant and never gotten right?
Why ask it
The missing piece is often an unmeasured handful, a certain pan or simply someone else doing the cooking. Ask what they think it is, and whether they would rather solve it or keep the excuse to go back.
If you were cooking for everyone here tomorrow, what would you make?
Why ask it
Best in a group that could really hold someone to it. Notice who plans a menu on the spot and who announces they would order pizza, and consider setting a date.
Eating out
What do you order at the place you go to most often?
Why ask it
Regulars answer without thinking, and some are a little sheepish about never reading the menu anymore. Follow up with how long it has been since they ordered anything else there.
What is the best meal you have ever had at a restaurant?
Why ask it
Ask what else was going on that day, because a meal people remember for years usually had an occasion or a surprise attached. The price almost never matters to the story.
Where is the first place you would take a visitor to eat in your town?
Why ask it
A local's pick says what they are proud of, and it is rarely the best-known spot. For coworkers or new neighbors it doubles as a recommendation list, so write the names down.
When the menus arrive, do you decide in seconds or go last?
Why ask it
The slow deciders know who they are, and so does everyone who eats with them. Find out whether they also get order envy when the plates land.
Are you a plate sharer or a plate guarder?
Why ask it
Better to learn this before a first dinner together than halfway through it, when a fork is already reaching across. Guarders should be heard out: some have very reasonable rules about fries.
What is your fast food order, and has it changed since you were a teenager?
Why ask it
Nearly everyone has one, including people who would prefer you thought otherwise, so ask it lightly and judge nothing. Listen for the item that has survived since they were sixteen, and for the story of the place that got the order wrong.
What is the most unusual thing you have ever eaten, and would you eat it again?
Why ask it
What counts as unusual depends entirely on where someone grew up, so one person's dare is another's breakfast. Keep the tone curious and steer away from 'gross,' especially in a mixed group or a classroom.
Which cuisine have you never tried and want to?
Why ask it
A gap someone admits to is an invitation. If anyone at the table knows that food well, let them name the dish to start with and, better still, the place to get it.
Have you ever planned a trip around something you wanted to eat?
Why ask it
Some travelers book the restaurants before the flights and others eat whatever is closest to the hotel. Couples and friends planning a vacation should ask this early, because the two types travel differently.
What is the longest you have waited in line for food, and was it worth it?
Why ask it
You get a number, a place and a verdict, which is a complete story in three parts. People who say they never wait usually have a firm limit in minutes, so ask for it.
Memories
What was the first food you remember loving?
Why ask it
Early favorites are simple, buttered noodles or one kind of fruit, and adults enjoy hearing family members confirm or correct the memory. Small children can answer this one too, in the present tense.
What meal do you remember more for the people than for the food?
Why ask it
The food in these stories is often forgettable or even bad. Listen for who was at the table and ask whether that group has eaten together since.
Which smell takes you straight back to one particular kitchen?
Why ask it
People tend to answer this faster than a direct question about childhood: onions frying, coffee, bread, something burning. Then ask whose kitchen it was and what the room looked like.
What is the best thing anyone has ever cooked just for you?
Why ask it
'Just for you' moves the answer from quality to care: soup when they were sick, a birthday cake made badly from scratch. Tell them to let the cook know, if they never have.
Which food makes you think of one specific person every time?
Why ask it
A grandfather's peppermints, a friend's terrible chili, a parent's Saturday pancakes. This can call up someone who has died, so give the answer room and do not hurry on to the next question.
What were you given to eat when you were home sick as a kid?
Why ask it
Families differ on this more than people expect: soup, plain rice, dry toast, flat soda, one particular cracker. Ask whether they still reach for it when they feel rough, and who makes it for them now.
What do you remember eating on the best trip you ever took?
Why ask it
People seldom name the expensive dinner. It is more likely fruit from a roadside stand or a sandwich eaten on a curb, and where they were sitting matters as much as what it was.
What food from your past can you no longer get?
Why ask it
A discontinued candy, a restaurant that closed, a dish only one person made. Lost snacks are funny and lost cooks are not, so follow the mood of the answer you get.
Hypotheticals
If you could only eat one cuisine for the rest of your life, which would it be?
Why ask it
Insist on a cuisine and not a dish, or the game ends too early. The arguments are about range, and someone always points out which choice covers breakfast.
If you opened a restaurant, what three dishes would be on the menu and what would you call it?
Why ask it
The name is where people show off. For a class or a team, give everyone two minutes with paper, then have each person pitch their place and let the group vote on where it would eat.
Would you rather give up cheese or chocolate for good?
Why ask it
A clean forced choice that people answer with surprising heat. Anyone who does not eat one of them should be handed a swap, such as bread against coffee.
What would go in your perfect sandwich, from the bottom slice up?
Why ask it
Requiring the order of the layers makes people commit and exposes strong feelings about where the sauce goes. With kids, have them draw it.
Does pineapple belong on pizza, and where is your line for a topping too far?
Why ask it
Everyone has had this argument, which is why the second half matters: it moves people from a stock position to a personal limit. Give it two minutes and then call a vote.
Is a hot dog a sandwich?
Why ask it
There is no right answer and that is the appeal. Make each person define a sandwich first, then test the definition on a taco, a wrap and an ice cream sandwich.
Which food would you make disappear from the world if you could?
Why ask it
Milder than it sounds, because the targets are usually raisins, cilantro or anything set in aspic. Someone present will love the condemned food and should get thirty seconds to plead for it.
You are hosting dinner for any four people, living or not. What do you serve?
Why ask it
Most versions of this ask only for the guest list. Asking for the menu shows whether someone would cook to impress, cook what they love or cook what their guests grew up with.
If someone cooked for you tonight and you could ask for anything, what would it be?
Why ask it
On a date or at home this is close to a request, so listen as if you may be asked to deliver. People rarely name anything elaborate. More often it is a dish one particular person used to make for them.
How to use these food questions
Practical guidance for the conversation itself
Before you ask
Pick the group of questions for the room
Favorites and Hypotheticals work with anyone, including coworkers you barely know, children and a language class. Growing up and Memories ask for more, so they suit a date that is going well, old friends or a family table. Cooking and Eating out sit in between and are the easiest to turn into a plan.
Ask while food is in front of people
A food question lands best when it has a reason to be asked: the plates have just arrived, someone is stirring a pot, a menu is open. Asked cold in a quiet room it sounds like a quiz. Let whatever is on the table suggest which one to use.
Give your own answer too
Answer the question yourself, with details: the brand, the street, who was cooking. A specific answer from you sets the level for everyone else, and a date or a new coworker should not feel they are being interviewed about their lunch.
Keep diets, allergies and bodies out of it
These questions are about taste and memory. Nobody owes the table a reason for what they do or do not eat, and food is a hard subject for some people. If someone passes or answers in three words, move on, and leave out any comment on how much or how little a person eats.
Ways to run it
One question per course
- 1Ask one from Favorites while people are sitting down or waiting to order.
- 2Save one from Growing up or Memories for when the main plates are on the table and nobody is in a hurry.
- 3Bring out a Hypotheticals question with dessert or coffee, when a friendly argument is welcome.
- 4Stop there. Three questions across a meal is plenty if each one gets follow-ups.
Pairs, for a class or a team
- 1Put people in pairs and give each pair the same two questions, one from Favorites and one from Growing up.
- 2Allow three minutes each way, with the listener asking one follow-up.
- 3Have each person introduce their partner to the group by the food answer alone.
- 4Finish with a single Hypotheticals question for the whole room and a show of hands.
On a date
Use the Eating out questions early, since you are probably sitting in a restaurant and they need no setup. A Cooking question later can turn into a second date if the answers point that way. Keep Memories for when the conversation has already become personal.
At the family table
Let the youngest person answer first so they are not just repeating an older sibling. Children do well with Favorites and the sandwich, pizza and hot dog questions. Grandparents tend to take over once you reach Growing up, which is worth allowing: those are the answers nobody else at the table can give.
When it goes sideways
Someone's taste gets mocked
Groaning at pineapple on pizza is part of the fun. Laughing at the food someone grew up with is not, and it shuts that person up for the rest of the meal. Step in with a real question about the dish, such as how it is made or when it gets eaten, so the curiosity replaces the joke.
A debate will not end
The hot dog and pineapple questions can swallow an evening. Set a limit before you start, take a vote when the time is up and move to a question that asks for a story. One person arguing a position nobody else holds is a sign to change the subject.
A memory turns sad
Food is tied to people, and some of those people are gone. If an answer about a grandparent's cooking brings a pause, do not fill it with the next question. Ask what the dish was and let them describe it. Most people are glad to be asked.
It turns into a talk about what people should eat
A table can drift from favorite foods to opinions about diets, and somebody usually ends up feeling judged. Bring it back with a question that has no right answer, such as the perfect sandwich or the restaurant they would open.