Questions to Ask About Foster Care
For anyone thinking about becoming a foster parent: what to ask a foster care agency or licensing worker at an information session or on a first call, and later the placement worker who calls about a child. The questions follow the order things happen: the agency, licensing and your home, money, daily care, support, and the call about one particular child. Each has a note on which answers are reassuring and which should give you pause, and because licensing rules, rates and consent are set locally, the notes send you back to the agency for anything that depends on your state or country.
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The questions
Each question, and why to ask it
The agency
Who can foster through you, and would being single, renting, working full time, our age or our income rule us out?
Why ask it
Raise this before you fill out a form. Requirements come partly from the rules where you live and partly from each agency's own policy, so have them say which is which. A good answer is a short list given without fuss; 'we will see at the home study' about something you named directly is worth pressing.
How long does it take from this call to being licensed, and where do people usually get stuck?
Why ask it
You want the range among families they licensed in the past year, not the best case. The sticking points are the useful part: a form from a doctor, a reference who does not reply, a training class that only runs a few times a year. Start those first.
What kinds of fostering do you license for, and can we start with respite or short-term care?
Why ask it
Emergency, short-term, long-term, respite, therapeutic and kinship care are common labels, but what each one means differs from one system to the next, so have them define theirs in a sentence apiece. Starting with respite or short stays lets you learn how the system works before a long placement. If every caller seems to be steered toward the category they are shortest of, notice it.
Which children do you most need homes for right now?
Why ask it
The honest answer is often teenagers, brothers and sisters who need to stay together, or children with medical or behavioral needs. Compare it with the child you pictured. If the two are far apart, say so now and ask how long homes with your preferences wait for a call.
What is the plan for most of the children you place, and how do you prepare foster parents for a child going home?
Why ask it
Returning a child to their family is commonly the first plan, and an agency should say so plainly at the first meeting. A solid answer covers what the training teaches about goodbyes and how a move home is paced, whether over weeks of longer visits or in one afternoon. Be wary of an agency that sells fostering mainly as a route to adoption.
If a child in our home cannot go back to their family, would we be considered to adopt them?
Why ask it
If adopting is your hope, say so here; the agency needs to know, and it affects which children they call you about. How foster parents are weighed against relatives, and how long a case runs before adoption is discussed at all, comes from local law and the court, so have them describe how it has gone for their own families in the past few years. An agency that promises you a child to keep is promising something it does not control.
Are you the public child welfare agency or a private agency that contracts with it, and what does that change for us?
Why ask it
In many places you can be licensed through either. The details to get are who places the child, who your worker answers to and who makes decisions about the case. A clear answer draws the line between the two bodies. A muddled one means finding out who decides what in the middle of a placement.
How many foster homes does each of your workers support, and how often would ours visit?
Why ask it
This is really a question about how reachable your worker will be. A number given straight away is a good sign, even when it is higher than you hoped. Follow up with how often workers change, because a new one every few months means retelling the child's story each time.
Can we talk to two or three families who foster through you, including one who has stopped?
Why ask it
Current families can tell you about the support, and the one who left can tell you why people leave. An agency confident in how it treats its homes will try to arrange both. Take those families the questions staff answer in general terms, such as what happened the last time they needed help at night.
Licensing
What are the steps to a license, in order, and what do we have to do for each?
Why ask it
Ask for the written checklist so you can see the whole thing: typically an application, background checks, training, references, health forms and a home study, though the list is set where you live. Check which steps can run at the same time, because doing them one after another is how a few months becomes a year.
What will getting licensed cost us, from fingerprints and medical forms to things we have to buy for the house?
Why ask it
Whether the application, the training and the background checks are free depends on the agency, and the costs around them add up either way: a doctor's visit for each adult, a first aid class, a fire extinguisher, a locking cabinet, a bed, a car seat. Have them say which of those they pay for or lend. If money is tight, check which purchases can wait until you know a child's age.
What background checks are run, on whom, and what in someone's past would stop a license?
Why ask it
Checks commonly cover every adult in the home and sometimes regular visitors, so find out who counts. If there is an old arrest, a past child welfare report or anything else you are worried about, name it now. A worker can usually say whether it is a bar, a conversation or nothing, and that is better heard before weeks of training.
How many hours of training are required before licensing, when is it offered, and what does it cover?
Why ask it
Evening, weekend and online sessions matter if you work. Listen for the subjects as well as the hours: trauma, working with a child's parents, and loss when a child leaves are the ones you will need later. Check whether both partners must attend every session.
What happens in the home study, and what will you ask us about?
Why ask it
Expect several interviews and personal questions about your childhood, your relationships, your health, your money and how you were disciplined. A good worker explains that the point is to match children well, not to find a perfect family. Find out who reads the finished report and whether you get to see it.
What does our home need to have, and what will the inspector actually check?
Why ask it
Get the inspection form itself, not a summary. Smoke alarms, locked storage for medication and firearms, water temperature, pool fencing and pets are all set by local rules, so do not rely on what a friend in another state was told. The distinction that matters is which items can be fixed after a first visit and which fail outright.
Does each child need their own bedroom, and what are the rules on sharing by age and gender?
Why ask it
The answer often decides how many children you can be licensed for and of what ages. Go through your own house with them: sharing with your children, a crib in your room for a baby, a room in the basement or attic. Measure before you buy furniture.
Can we set limits on the ages, number and needs of the children we take, and can we change them later?
Why ask it
You should be able to, and a good agency wants an honest answer more than a generous one. The follow-up is whether placement workers respect those limits. Being called about a child outside your range now and then is ordinary; being pressed after you have said no is a warning.
What do we have to do each year to keep the license?
Why ask it
Typical answers include ongoing training hours, another inspection, repeat background checks and regular visits from a worker. Then ask what happens if you move, a partner moves in or an adult child comes home, since each can mean new paperwork before the next placement.
Money
What is the monthly stipend for a child, and what is it meant to cover?
Why ask it
Ask for the rate sheet, since the amount commonly varies with a child's age and level of need. Whatever it is called there (stipend, board rate, maintenance payment), agencies generally describe it as reimbursement for the child's food, clothing and daily costs, not as pay. The telling follow-up is which costs their families most often end up covering themselves.
When does the first payment arrive, and what do we pay out of pocket before then?
Why ask it
Payment can come weeks after a child does, which leaves the first car seat, clothes, formula and diapers to you. Find out whether there is a clothing allowance or an emergency voucher at placement and how fast it is paid. A vague answer means keeping a cushion in the bank.
Is there help with childcare if we work, and who is allowed to babysit?
Why ask it
Three things to pin down: whether childcare is paid for, whether it has to be a licensed provider, and whether there is a waiting list. Babysitter rules vary widely, from any sensible adult you would trust with your own child to background checks on everyone. Find out before you count on a grandparent.
Which extra costs can be reimbursed: mileage to visits and appointments, school trips, sports, a birthday, a prom?
Why ask it
The details show how the agency thinks about a normal childhood. Get the mileage rate, the receipts they need and how long a claim takes to pay. Driving to visits and therapy several times a week adds up quickly, so do the math for your own distances.
How does the rate change for a child with higher medical or behavioral needs, and who decides the level?
Why ask it
Many systems have tiers. Ask which assessment sets the level, how soon after placement it is done, and how you request a review when a child's needs turn out to be greater than the file said. A higher level usually expects more of you too, in training or in being at home, so ask what.
Do foster care payments count as income for taxes or for benefits we already receive?
Why ask it
The agency can tell you what it reports and which forms it issues. How that affects you depends on your country and your own circumstances, so check it with a tax adviser or the benefits office and not only with the recruiter. Worth doing before a first placement if you receive housing or income support.
If a child damages something in our home or car, or is hurt while with us, who pays?
Why ask it
Some agencies carry insurance for damage or injury involving a foster child and some leave it to your own policies. Get the claim process in writing. Then call your home and auto insurers yourself, because some want to be told before a child moves in.
Daily care
How is a child's medical, dental and mental health care paid for, and which providers can we use?
Why ask it
Children in care generally have coverage arranged for them, but how it works and who accepts it is local. Useful details: how quickly a new child gets a card or number, whether your own pediatrician can see them, and how long the wait for a therapist is in your area. A long wait is something to plan around from the first week, not to discover in the third month.
What can we consent to ourselves, and what needs the caseworker, the parents or a court?
Why ask it
Have them go through examples: a routine checkup, a vaccine, a medication for behavior, an emergency room visit, a haircut, a trip out of state. Foster parents commonly cannot sign for everything a parent can. Get the after-hours number for consent and ask how quickly it is answered.
Which appointments does a child need in the first weeks, and who arranges them?
Why ask it
Many systems require a medical exam and other screenings within a set time of placement. Find out who books them, who drives, and whether the child's health history and immunization record come to you or have to be chased. The answer is a fair picture of your first month's calendar.
Will a child stay at their current school, and who handles enrollment and transport if they have to move?
Why ask it
Keeping a child in the same school is often the aim, and that can mean a long drive every morning. Ask who decides, who provides transport, and who may sign school forms or sit in meetings about special education. If the answer to most of it is you, work out whether your mornings can take it.
How often do children see their parents and siblings, where, and who does the driving and supervising?
Why ask it
Schedules are set case by case, often by a court, but the agency knows its usual pattern. The point to settle is whether foster parents are expected to transport, to supervise or to host. Several visits a week at fixed times is a real limit on a working household, so hear it now.
What contact are we expected to have with a child's parents ourselves?
Why ask it
Expectations run from a handover in a parking lot to phone calls, shared appointments and helping a parent learn the child's routine. Ask what the agency encourages, what training it gives for it, and what it does when a parent is angry with you. If they say you will never need to meet the parents, ask how that fits with visits, court and medical appointments.
Will we be told about court hearings and case meetings, and can we attend or speak?
Why ask it
Rules on notice and on a foster parent's chance to be heard differ by place, so ask what they are there and how the notice reaches you. A good agency wants what you see at home in front of the people deciding. Check whether you can send something in writing on a day you cannot leave work.
What are the rules on discipline, travel, photos online and overnight stays with friends?
Why ask it
Ask for the written policy, because much of it will not match what you assume from raising your own children. Physical punishment is typically prohibited, and posting a child's face online often is too. The list of things you can decide without calling anyone is what lets a child's week feel ordinary, so ask for that list as well.
How do you help us keep up a child's culture, religion and language, and care for hair or skin unlike our own?
Why ask it
A practical answer names things: a barber or braider, the place of worship the family attends, an interpreter for calls with parents, the food the child knows. Bring up any difference between your own faith or diet and the family's and ask what is expected. A shrug suggests the agency leaves this to chance.
Support
Who do we call at two in the morning, and does a person answer?
Why ask it
Find out whether the line reaches someone who can make a decision or an answering service that takes a message. Then ask for an example of a night call from the past month and what happened next. Once you are licensed, try the number once before you need it.
What respite care is available, how many days, and how do we book it?
Why ask it
Respite generally means another approved home looking after the child for a short time. Ask how many days you are allowed, whether it is paid, how much notice is needed and whether families can actually get it when they ask. An entitlement nobody can book is not support.
What help is there when a child's behavior is more than we can manage?
Why ask it
Listen for services with names: a specialist who comes to the house, a crisis team, extra training, a quicker route to therapy. Then ask how long each takes to start. 'Call your worker' is a beginning, not a plan.
Do you run a support group or match new foster parents with a mentor?
Why ask it
Other foster parents are the ones who will tell you which dentist takes the coverage and how to handle the evening before a visit. A group that meets in the evening with childcare is one you can get to; a weekday morning meeting is not, if you work. A mentor assigned to every new home is a better sign than one offered only to those who think to ask.
What happens if someone makes an allegation against us?
Why ask it
It is an uncomfortable thing to raise and better raised early, because complaints about foster homes do get made, founded or not. The points to cover are what the investigation involves, whether children are moved while it runs, who supports you and whether you get the outcome in writing. A clear procedure shows the agency has thought about its foster parents.
If a placement is not working, what is the process, and how much notice do we give?
Why ask it
Every move is another loss for a child, so a good agency describes what it tries first. It should also be able to say, without making you feel like a traitor, what notice it expects and where the child goes. Ask whether ending a placement changes how often you are called afterwards.
How do you prepare and support the children already living in our home?
Why ask it
See whether the training includes them, whether there is a group for the children of foster families, and whether the worker speaks to them on visits. Ask about age gaps as well, since some agencies prefer to place children younger than your youngest. Your children's view belongs in the decision, and this tells you whether the agency agrees.
What support is there for us when a child leaves, and can we stay in touch afterwards?
Why ask it
Contact after a child goes home is usually up to the parents, which is one reason the relationship with them matters. For the grief itself an agency might offer a call from your worker, a group, or simply time before the next placement, so find out which. Check too that you can pause for a while without losing your license.
Placement call
Why is this child coming into care, and what is known about what they have been through?
Why ask it
The placement worker may have only a few lines, and may not be allowed to share all of them. Have them separate what is known, what is guessed and what is unknown, which tells you how loosely to hold the rest. Write it down as you listen; little of it stays in your head once the call ends.
Is this the child's first time in care, or a move from another foster home?
Why ask it
A move from another home has a reason, so get it. The previous foster parent knows more about the child's days than the file does; see whether you can speak to them tonight or tomorrow. A worker who will not say why the last placement ended is leaving out the thing you most need.
How long is this placement expected to last, and what is the plan for the case?
Why ask it
Nobody can promise a length, and 'a few days' has a way of stretching. What you can get is the current plan (return home, a relative being assessed, adoption) and the date of the next hearing. Decide as if it could run much longer than the estimate.
Does the child have brothers or sisters, where are they, and are you trying to place them together?
Why ask it
If siblings are being separated, ask why and how often they will see each other, since you may be the one driving. If you are offered one of several, ask whether taking more is possible under your license. Expect the child to ask about them on the first night, and have something true to say.
What medical conditions, medications, allergies or disabilities do we need to know about tonight?
Why ask it
Get the name and dose of any medication coming with the child and who prescribed it. For a baby, ask about feeding, sleep and anything known about the pregnancy and birth. If nobody knows about allergies, ask who you can call to find out before the first meals.
What behaviors has anyone seen, and does anything affect the safety of other children or pets in our home?
Why ask it
Ask by name about running away, aggression toward other children or animals, self-harm and fire setting, because a worker in a hurry may not volunteer them. The purpose is to plan supervision and bedrooms, not to judge the child. 'Nothing reported' is different from 'none', so ask who did the reporting and how long they knew the child.
When are visits likely to start, and is there any reason the family should not know where we live?
Why ask it
Visits may not be set on the first day, but the worker can say what is usual at this stage of a case. Where there is a concern, ask what is being done about it: where visits happen, whether your address is kept confidential, and who you call if someone shows up at the house.
What is the child arriving with, and what will they need in the first day?
Why ask it
A child may come with a packed bag or with only what they are wearing. You need clothing and shoe sizes, whether a car seat, formula or diapers are called for, and whether school or daycare is expected in the morning and who gets them there. If the child is attached to a blanket or toy that was left behind, ask whether someone can go back for it.
What does the child know about where they are going, and what should we know before we open the door?
Why ask it
Find out what they have been told, what they call their parents and the name they like to go by. A worker who has spent an hour with the child can often pass on one thing that helps, such as a food they will eat or a fear of dogs. That one detail shapes the first ten minutes.
Who is the child's caseworker, and when will we hear from them?
Why ask it
The person calling about a placement is often not the person who manages the case. Before the call ends, get the caseworker's name and number and their supervisor's, and ask when the first home visit will be. Ask for the placement paperwork and a medical consent form to arrive with the child, since you may need both the next morning.
How long do we have to decide, and what happens for the child if we say no?
Why ask it
You may get minutes. A good placement worker would rather hear a considered no than a yes that falls apart in a week, and can tell you who gets the next call. If you feel pushed, say you will call back in ten minutes and use them to talk to everyone at home this affects.
How to ask an agency about fostering
Practical guidance for the conversation itself
Before the information session
Settle your own starting point at home
Talk through the ages you could manage, how many children, how long, and whether you are hoping to adopt. You do not need final answers. You need enough to ask an agency how your picture fits the children it actually places.
Find out who licenses foster homes near you
In some areas the public agency is the only door, and in others several private agencies license homes as well. Where there is a choice, call two or three and put the same handful of questions to each. The differences show up in the answers about support, not in the brochure.
Bring your own awkward facts
A rented apartment, night shifts, an old conviction, a large dog, a health condition, a partner who is not sure. Raise them on the first call. An early answer costs a few minutes, and a late one costs months of training and paperwork.
Choose the questions for the room
An information session suits The agency and Licensing, which everyone present wants answered. Keep Money, Daily care and Support for a one-on-one call afterwards, where you can ask about your own household. Print the Placement call group and leave it where you answer the phone.
Talking to the agency
Take the paperwork home
The licensing checklist, the inspection form, the rate sheet and the foster parent handbook all exist in writing. Take copies home. What a recruiter says in a meeting and what the handbook says are sometimes different, and the handbook is the one your worker will follow.
Ask about the most recent time
For each kind of support, ask about the last time a family used it: the last night call, the last respite request, the last placement that nearly ended. Staff who can describe what happened, without naming anyone, are describing a service that runs. If all you get is the policy read aloud, write that down too.
Listen to how they talk about parents
You will be working alongside the families of the children you care for. Staff who speak about those parents with respect are showing you how the agency expects you to behave, and how it will back you when a visit goes badly.
Say what you cannot do
Tell them the hours you work, the drive you could not make every morning and the ages you are unsure about, then watch what they do with it. A worker who adjusts the picture (respite first, school-age children, the visit center nearest your job) is already matching. One who says it will all work out once you are licensed is counting beds.
When the placement call comes
Keep the list and a pen by the phone
The call can come at dinner or at midnight and can be over in five minutes. Read the questions off the page and write the answers next to them. That sheet is also the start of the record you will want when the caseworker visits.
Sort what is known from what is not
A placement worker often has very little, and saying so is honest, not evasive. For each answer, ask whether it comes from a record, from someone who knows the child, or from a guess. Then decide on the known part and plan for the unknown part.
Say your limits out loud
If the child is outside the ages or needs you agreed to at licensing, say that before anything else. If the answer is no, say no plainly and briefly. Agencies call again, and a home that knows its limits is one they can place with confidently.
Do not hang up without the basics
The caseworker's name and number, an after-hours number, the arrival time, any medication and its dose, and what paperwork is coming with the child. Everything else can wait until morning. Those cannot.
Comparing two agencies
Line up the four support answers
Recruiters are friendly everywhere, so compare what sits behind them: how many homes each worker carries, who answers the night line, how many respite days you get and what happens when a placement is in trouble. Those four are what you will lean on in the second year.
Add up the money for your own household
Write out the monthly rate for the age you expect, the clothing allowance at placement, what is paid toward childcare, the mileage rate and how long reimbursements take. A higher rate with nothing for childcare or driving can leave a working household worse off than a lower one that covers both.
Ask each the same hard question
The one about allegations or the one about ending a placement works well. The content of the answer matters, and so does whether you get one at all. An agency that goes quiet on the difficult parts in a recruitment meeting is unlikely to be more forthcoming later.