Questions to Ask at Your Toddler's 18 Month Check Up
An 18 month check up tends to be less about feeding and more about what your toddler does: walking, words, pointing, tantrums. These 51 questions are for the parent or caregiver in the room, in five groups that follow the visit: growth and milestones, talking and the development and autism screening, eating and teeth, sleep and behavior, then shots, safety and the next visit. Take the few that match your child, and bring up a worry about speech or walking before the exam begins, while there is still time to answer it.
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The questions
Each question, and why to ask it
Growth and milestones
What happens at the 18 month check up, and which parts of it are new at this age?
Why ask it
Besides the weighing, measuring and exam, a lot of offices add a written questionnaire about development and a separate autism screen at this visit, though which visits carry them is set by the country and the practice. Ask in the first minute, while your toddler is still calm. The reply tells you which of your questions are already on the doctor's agenda and which ones only get answered if you bring them up.
Is my toddler meeting the milestones you look for at 18 months?
Why ask it
Have the doctor go through them by area: getting around, using the hands, words, understanding, and how your child plays and connects with you. 'On track' is worth unpacking, so ask which area is strongest and which sits nearest the line. For anything that is not there yet, get the age by which this doctor would expect it.
Where does my toddler sit on the growth chart now, and has the line changed since the first birthday?
Why ask it
Toddlers often look leaner once they are on their feet all day, and it is easy to read that as a child who is not eating enough. Have the doctor point to the last three or four dots and say whether the slope is the one they expected. If it has flattened, ask whether they want a weight check before two or are content to wait.
My toddler is 18 months old and not walking alone yet. Do we keep waiting, or look into it now?
Why ask it
Skip this if your child is already off and running. If not, list what does happen: pulling to stand, stepping along the sofa, walking with one hand held, and since when. Many doctors treat this age as the point where watching gives way to a closer look, so if you are told to wait, ask for the date the waiting ends and what would be arranged on it.
My toddler walks but still falls a lot and keeps both feet wide apart. Is that how walking should look by now?
Why ask it
Take the shoes off and let your child do a lap of the hallway, because a doctor learns more from ten steps than from your description. Say when the first steps alone happened, since a child three weeks into walking and one six months in are judged differently. Then ask what the walk should look like by the two year visit.
Are bowed legs, feet that turn in or walking on tiptoe anything to treat?
Why ask it
Each of the three has its own answer, so name the one you see and say whether it is one side or both, and constant or only when your child is tired or hurrying. A video filmed from behind at home catches what a toddler clinging to your leg in the office will not show. Leave with the change the doctor wants to see, and the age at which its absence would mean a referral.
My toddler still eats with fingers and flings the spoon. Which hand skills do you expect at 18 months?
Why ask it
Offer a crayon and paper, three or four blocks and a board book in the days before, and report what your child did with each: scribbled or chewed, stacked or threw, turned the pages or shut it. That is more use to the doctor than 'fine, I think'. If your toddler always reaches with the same hand, even for things placed on the other side, mention it, because a fixed preference this young is something doctors like to know about.
From what you saw today, do you have any doubts about my toddler's hearing or eyesight?
Why ask it
Hearing sits underneath every question about words, which is why it is worth raising before the talking part of the visit. Tell the doctor whether your child turns to a whisper, notices a sound from another room, squints, or tilts the head to look at a book. If a test is suggested, ask who does it for children this young and how you get an appointment where you live.
Talking and screening
How many words should an 18 month old be saying, and what counts as a word?
Why ask it
Offices count differently: some include 'moo', a sign for 'more' and a 'ba' that always means ball, and others want words a stranger would catch. Ask for this doctor's rule first, then give your number under it. Ranges quoted for this age are wide, so the figure to leave with is the one below which they would act, and what acting means.
My toddler understands far more than they say. How much weight do you put on understanding?
Why ask it
Bring examples the doctor can picture: 'where is your cup?' answered by a look toward the kitchen, a ball fetched from the next room, arms raised at 'bath time'. Drop any where you were holding the object or nodding toward it, because your hands may have done the talking. Then ask outright whether good understanding buys a late talker more time in this doctor's view, or changes nothing.
Does my child point, wave and bring things to show me in the way you would expect?
Why ask it
Watch for these in the week before, because screening forms tend to ask about them and most parents have never counted. Pointing at the cookie jar to get one is a different act from pointing at the moon so that you will look too, and the doctor will want to hear about each. Report what you saw and how often, and say plainly if you cannot remember seeing one of them at all.
What was my toddler's result on the autism screening, and what happens if it was not a clear pass?
Why ask it
A screening form only sorts children into those who get a closer look and those who need nothing more for now, so a flagged result is the start of a conversation and a pass is not a promise. Ask for the result in words, which of your answers moved it, and whether the office repeats the form at two. Where the score calls for follow-up questions, ask to do them today, with your child in the room.
Nobody handed me a screening form today. How do you screen for autism and development at this age?
Why ask it
Practice differs a good deal: a parent questionnaire at the doctor's office in some places, a review by a nurse or health visitor at a different age in others, and sometimes only what the doctor notices during the exam. If the answer is observation alone and something has been nagging at you, say what it is and ask whether a questionnaire can be done.
I guessed at two or three items on the form. Can we go back over those with real examples?
Why ask it
Put a mark beside the doubtful ones as you fill the form in, so you can find them again with a toddler on your lap. Talking an item through with something that happened at home gives a truer score than a guess in the waiting room. It also guards against the kind answer, the one a parent gives because the thing happened once in March.
Some days my toddler ignores their own name. How do you tell not hearing from not listening?
Why ask it
Say how often it happens and where: deep in a toy, across a noisy room, or sitting quietly beside you with nothing else going on. Try crinkling a snack wrapper behind your child's back at home, since a toddler who turns for the wrapper and not for the name is telling you something different from one who turns for neither. Ask which the doctor would rule out first, hearing, attention or interest in people, and what the test for it is.
A word my toddler used every day has disappeared, and so has the wave. Does losing a skill worry you more than being late with one?
Why ask it
Raise this yourself and early, without waiting for a form to ask. Name the skill, the month you last saw it and what was going on at home around then, and bring an old video if one exists. The answer you need is what the doctor will do about it and by what date, not only whether it worries them.
How should an 18 month old be playing, and is pretending expected yet?
Why ask it
Describe an ordinary half hour on the floor: a toy phone held to the ear, a spoon offered to a teddy, copying you with a broom, or cars lined up in rows and wheels spun for minutes at a time. None of those is a verdict by itself, and the doctor is the one to say which matter. Ask what kind of play they would like to hear about at the next visit.
My toddler hears one language from me and another at daycare. Do words in both count toward the total?
Why ask it
Bring the list in both languages and ask whether 'agua' and 'water' are one word or two in this office's count. Say who speaks what to your child and for roughly how much of the day. If the questionnaire only came in your second language, ask for it in the one you think in.
What should we be doing at home to help our toddler talk: reading, naming things, sign language?
Why ask it
Ask the doctor to pick one habit that suits your child, because a list of ten gets dropped by Thursday. Signing is the part parents argue about, so ask directly whether this doctor sees it as a bridge to words or a detour. Then ask what they would have you stop, such as answering for your toddler before the attempt has been made.
If you think a speech evaluation is worth having, how do we get one here and how long is the wait?
Why ask it
Ask for the route step by step: who makes the first call, whether you are allowed to make it yourself, what it costs and what happens while you wait. All of that changes with the country, the state and sometimes the insurance. A hearing test is frequently the first thing an evaluator asks for, so find out whether to book one now.
Eating and teeth
My toddler eats well one day and next to nothing the following day. Is that enough food?
Why ask it
Jot down what was eaten and drunk for three days, the milk and the crackers in the car included, and hand the page over. The doctor can set it against the growth chart, and the chart is what settles the question. Ask what a reasonable toddler portion looks like in spoonfuls, because it is easy to picture an adult plate made smaller.
My child refuses most vegetables and anything unfamiliar. How do you tell ordinary pickiness from a feeding problem?
Why ask it
Count the foods your toddler reliably accepts and group them (starches, fruit, protein, dairy) before the visit. Mention gagging, food held in the cheeks, or whole textures refused, since those point somewhere different from a child who simply prefers pasta. Then ask how many times it is worth offering a rejected food and whether the doctor minds vegetables hidden in sauce.
How much cow's milk is too much at 18 months, and does it need to be whole milk?
Why ask it
Pour the day's milk from a measuring cup for two days so the figure you give is real, with the cup that travels around the house counted. Which milk is advised at this age, and whether a plant-based drink will do, is not the same in every country or for every child, so ask why as well as which. If your total is over the doctor's limit, ask which cup to cut first.
I am still breastfeeding. How does that fit with cow's milk, meals and the night waking?
Why ask it
Say how many feeds there are and when, the night ones included, because the advice on other milk and on sleep both hang on that. If you want to carry on, ask whether anything should be added to the diet; if you want to cut down, ask which feed to drop first and how. It is fair to ask for the reason behind any suggestion to stop.
We still use a bottle, mostly at bedtime. How would you go about stopping it?
Why ask it
Give the true count and what is in each one, including any bottle that goes into the crib. Ask for the plan in steps: which bottle goes first, what takes its place in the bedtime routine, and how many nights of protest to expect. If a dentist has already commented on the bedtime bottle, pass that on.
What should be in the cup between meals, and is juice or toddler formula worth buying?
Why ask it
The answer is usually brief, so use the time to collect rules you can hand to grandparents and daycare: how much juice if any, how diluted, and whether flavored milk, smoothies and toddler formula count as milk or as a treat. Ask about the cup too, since some doctors and dentists would rather see an open or straw cup than a spout.
With a toddler this picky, should we be giving a multivitamin, vitamin D or iron?
Why ask it
Describe the real menu: meat or none, beans, eggs, fortified cereal, how much milk, how much time outdoors. National guidance on toddler supplements is not uniform, so ask what applies where you live and to your child in particular. If the answer is yes, write down the product, the dose and how long to keep going; if it is no, ask which foods are doing the job.
Can my toddler have whole grapes, nuts or popcorn yet, and how should I cut the foods that are still risky?
Why ask it
Bring your own list, since every family's is different: sausages, raw apple, cherry tomatoes, a spoonful of nut butter, the hard candy an older sibling leaves around. Ask where the doctor stands on eating while walking or strapped in the car seat, which is half the question. And ask where near you a parent can learn what to do when a toddler chokes, if no one has ever taught you.
My toddler is chewing fingers and waking at night. Could that be the back teeth, and what do you suggest for it?
Why ask it
Have the doctor look while your child's mouth is open anyway, so you hear whether a molar or a canine is really on its way. Ask what they would give or do for the soreness, and which gels, tablets or necklaces sold for teething they tell parents to leave on the shelf. Then get the list of things that are not teething in this doctor's book, so that a real illness is not waited out as a tooth.
Brushing is a fight every night. How do we get it done, and how much fluoride toothpaste goes on the brush?
Why ask it
Have the doctor show you a position that works, such as your toddler lying back with their head in your lap, because it is easier to copy than to read about. The right toothpaste strength and amount depend on age and on the local water, so say what comes out of your tap, or that you do not know. Ask whether a bad brushing night should be skipped or pushed through.
Have we waited too long for a first dentist visit, and who sees children this young near us?
Why ask it
The age advised for a first dental visit is set locally, and plenty of families are behind it, so ask without apologizing. What you want is a name: a dentist who is used to an 18 month old sitting on a parent's lap and screaming. Ask as well whether anything can be done for the teeth at this office in the meantime, such as fluoride varnish, and whether your insurance or health service covers it.
When does the pacifier need to go, and is thumb sucking handled any differently?
Why ask it
Teeth and speech are separate concerns with separate timelines, so ask about each. Describe the habit as it is: only in the crib, or clipped to the shirt from breakfast on. If the advice is to cut back, ask whether to limit it to sleep first or stop in one go.
Sleep and behavior
Is it time to drop from two naps to one, and how many hours of sleep should the whole day add up to?
Why ask it
A week of nap and bedtime notes will show the pattern better than memory does. Tell the doctor if the second nap has turned into forty minutes of singing in the crib or has pushed bedtime late. Ask how to make the switch, where the single nap should fall, and how long the overtired couple of weeks tend to last.
Bedtime has turned into a battle and the night waking is back. Is this the 18 month sleep regression people talk about?
Why ask it
List what changed around the time it began: back teeth, a new room at daycare, a parent away, a nap dropped, a new ability to shout 'no'. The doctor can say which is likeliest and what they would have you do the same way every night. Agree on how many weeks to give it before you call back.
My toddler got a leg over the crib rail this week. Do we lower the mattress, try a sleep sack or move to a bed?
Why ask it
Say how far the attempt got and whether anything in the crib, a bumper or a big stuffed animal, is serving as a step. Ask the doctor to rank the three options for your child and to say at what point a fall becomes a bigger risk than a toddler loose in the room. If a bed is the answer, ask what has to be true of the bedroom first, from the dresser to the window to the door.
What should I do during a tantrum: hold my toddler, walk away or wait it out?
Why ask it
Ask for an actual script, with a supermarket version and a 6 p.m. kitchen version, because the advice that works at home falls apart in a checkout line. Give a rough count for a normal day and how long the longest ones run, so the doctor can tell you whether that is ordinary for 18 months. Then ask what would make them look further.
My toddler bites other children at daycare. What should we and the teachers do in the moment?
Why ask it
Find out from the staff what came just before the last two bites: a toy taken, a crowded corner, the hour before lunch. Bring that with you, then take the doctor's answer back to the room in writing. A toddler who gets one response at home and another at daycare has a harder time learning either.
Does an 18 month old understand 'no' yet, and what do you suggest in place of a time-out?
Why ask it
You are asking for one doctor's view and the reasoning behind it, starting with how long a child this age can hold a rule in mind. Ask which few limits they would enforce every single time, and which daily battles they would simply remove by moving the object out of reach. If the adults at home disagree with each other, say so, and let the doctor hear both versions.
My toddler bangs their head or holds their breath when upset. Is that dangerous?
Why ask it
Not one to ask unless you have seen it. If you have, describe it closely: on what surface and how hard, or how long the breath was held, whether the color changed or your child went limp, and how quickly they recovered. You want to leave with what to do while it is happening and what would make the doctor want to examine it further.
My toddler screams when I leave and clings in new places. How long does this stage usually run?
Why ask it
Give the date if daycare, a new sitter or a trip away is coming, so the advice fits a real goodbye. Ask what the doctor thinks of slipping out unnoticed compared with a short, repeated farewell. A grandparent who feels rejected may be glad to hear the answer too.
How much screen time is too much at 18 months, and can it slow down talking?
Why ask it
Add up a real day before you ask, with the cartoon during breakfast and the phone handed over in the car. Guidance for this age is not the same in every country, so ask which this doctor follows, whether a video call with a grandparent counts, and what they make of the link with late talking. The practical follow-up is what to put in place of the screen at the hardest point of your day.
Is 18 months too early to start potty training, and what readiness signs do you go by?
Why ask it
Say why you are asking now: a grandparent who trained at one, a daycare room that expects it, or a toddler who has started hiding to fill the diaper. Ask what can be done at this age without pressure, such as leaving a potty out and settling on the family's words for things. If your child strains or holds back, ask whether that should be dealt with first.
Shots, safety, next visit
Which shots does my toddler get at 18 months, and are we behind on any earlier ones?
Why ask it
What is given at this age depends on the national schedule and on what went in at earlier visits, and at some offices a child who is up to date gets nothing at all. Ask before the nurse comes in, so you know whether to hold back the snack and the favorite toy. If it is the season for a flu shot or another seasonal vaccine, ask whether it can be done today, and leave with an updated record.
After today's shots, how long is a fever or a sore leg ordinary, and what dose of fever medicine fits this weight?
Why ask it
Read the dose back with the bottle's strength, because the number from the last visit was for a lighter child and may have been for a different product. A toddler who walks can show a sore leg by limping or refusing to stand, so ask how long that may last before the office wants to hear. Get the after-hours number while you are at it.
Was my toddler's blood ever checked for iron and lead, and is either test due now?
Why ask it
Whether these are done, and at what age, is decided by the country, the state, the insurance program and the child's own risks, so ask what applies to your family. If a test was done around the first birthday, ask for the number and not only that it was fine. Mention anything that has changed since: a move to an older house, renovation dust, a parent's new job around metals or batteries, a diet that has narrowed to milk and bread.
My toddler climbs everything. What should we anchor, lock or move this week?
Why ask it
Walk the house beforehand at your child's reach plus the height of a chair, and bring the list of what you found: the bookcase, the television, the window above the sofa, the stove knobs. Ask the doctor to put it in order of urgency. Stairs deserve their own question, including whether to teach your toddler to come down backward or keep the gate shut.
Which number do we call if my toddler gets into medicine, a dishwasher pod or a button battery?
Why ask it
Save the poison advice line for your country in every adult's phone before you leave the building. Ask which swallowed things mean going straight to an emergency department without phoning first, and what not to do while you wait. Homes that are not set up for a toddler are where parents get caught out, so think about where you will be visiting over the next few months.
Relatives keep telling us to turn the car seat forward. What do you recommend at this size?
Why ask it
Write down today's height and weight and hold them against the limits in the seat's manual when you get home. The legal minimum depends on where you drive, and the doctor's advice may go further than the law, so ask for both. If your toddler is still in the infant carrier, ask what kind of seat comes next, and ask about bulky winter coats under the harness.
Can I step out of the bathroom for a moment during the bath yet, and what do you tell families with a pool?
Why ask it
Expect a short answer to the first half, and ask the doctor to explain it so you can repeat it to whoever else does bath time. For pools, ponds and the wading pool at a relative's house, ask what barrier they advise and at what age they think swimming lessons are worth starting. Name the water your toddler can actually reach, down to the bucket left in the yard.
What should my toddler be doing by the second birthday, and which missing skill would you want a call about?
Why ask it
Type the doctor's list into your phone as it is said: perhaps two words put together, a run, a pretend tea party. Ask which item on it they care about most for your child in particular. Set a reminder for 21 months to count the words again against that list, and ask whether a skill that disappears should be a call the same week.
When is the next well visit, and will the screening be done again then?
Why ask it
In some places the next one is at two and in others there is a visit at two and a half as well, and whether the autism screen is repeated depends on the office. On many schedules this is the longest gap between routine visits so far, which is a long time to leave a question about speech open. If one has been left open, book a short check-in halfway before you leave the desk.
Making the 18 month visit count
Practical guidance for the conversation itself
The week before the visit
Three things to watch for on purpose
Screening questionnaires at this age commonly ask whether your toddler points to ask for something, points to show you something, and carries things over just to share them. Watch for each during ordinary days and note when you saw it. A parent who went looking can answer those items from a real moment and not from hope.
A word list with two columns
Start a note on your phone and add every word, sign and animal noise as you hear it. Put the ones a stranger would understand in one column and the ones only the family can decode in the other. The doctor may count the first column alone or both together, and you will have the number either way.
Twenty seconds of barefoot walking
Film your toddler on a hard floor, walking away from you and back. Do the same for anything else you plan to ask about: a tantrum, an odd movement, the crib escape. At this age the exam is often spent on a parent's shoulder, and a child who will not get down cannot be watched walking.
Two days of milk in a measuring cup
Pour the day's milk from a measuring cup and note what is left at night. The total is often not what the family would have guessed, and the questions about appetite, iron and the bedtime bottle all start from it.
Making sense of the screening
What a screen can and cannot say
A screening questionnaire is a sieve. It is built to catch every child who might benefit from a closer look, so it also catches some who turn out to need nothing. A result that calls for follow-up is a reason for more questions, and a clear one does not cancel a worry you still have.
Answer for the ordinary day
Each item asks what your toddler usually does, not what happened once at a birthday party. If the true reply is 'sometimes', say so to the doctor and describe the last time you saw it. One honest 'not yet' gets your child a second look, which is the whole purpose of the form.
When no form appears
Not every country or practice uses a written autism screen at 18 months. Some rely on a development review with a nurse or health visitor at another age, and some on what the doctor sees in the exam. Ask which applies to you, so you know whether today was the screen or whether one is still to come.
From a flagged result to an appointment
Speech and development services may be public or private, free or billed, open to parents directly or only by referral, and the waits vary as much as the routes. Ask the doctor to describe the path in your area one step at a time, with a phone number for the first step. Then make that first call within the week, since an appointment can always be cancelled if the words arrive in the meantime.
In the room with an 18 month old
Plan for the crying
Many toddlers remember the last injections and protest from the scale onward. Bring a second adult if you can, or a snack and one small toy held back for the purpose, so that you can hear the answers over the noise.
Start with the worry, not the weight
If words or walking are on your mind, say so before the undressing and the exam. The development conversation takes the longest and is the one most likely to be squeezed if it begins as the doctor is leaving.
Describe the child they are not seeing
A toddler who chats and climbs all day may sit silent and frozen in the office. Say so early, and offer the videos, so the doctor is judging your toddler and not the worst ten minutes of their week.
Put an end date on 'let's watch it'
Watching is often reasonable at this age, but the next routine visit may be six months off. Ask what exactly is being watched, until when, and what happens if nothing has changed by then. Write the date in your calendar before you leave.
Between this visit and the second birthday
Count again at 21 months
Repeat the word list and the pointing watch halfway to the next visit. If the list has barely grown, or something your toddler used to do has gone, phone the office then and do not hold it for the two year appointment.
One message to everyone who looks after your toddler
The plan for biting, the milk limit, the bottle schedule and the fever dose only work if daycare, grandparents and the other parent have them. Write it up that evening while you still remember the details, and send the same words to all of them.
Do the climbing jobs first
Of everything you were told, the furniture straps and window locks are the tasks with a deadline you cannot see. A toddler who could not reach a shelf at this visit will reach it well before the next one.
Check the schedule that applies to you
Whether there are shots at 18 months, whether toddlers are tested for lead or anemia, and whether a medical office applies fluoride varnish all depend on where you are and who pays. A friend's list from another country will not match yours, so treat anything you read, this page included, as a prompt to ask.