Questions to Ask Au Pair
Questions for a host family interviewing an au pair candidate, covering childcare experience, driving and safety, how they would handle real situations with your children, and living in your home for a year.
The questions
Open any question for the note
Tell me about the children you have looked after: how old were they, and for how long?
Why ask it
Ask for duration as well as ages. Regular care for one family over a year is worth more than occasional babysitting for many, and younger siblings at home count if she was genuinely responsible for them.
Why do you want to be an au pair, and why this country?
Why ask it
Language, travel, a gap year, and childcare as a career all lead to different placements. Someone whose main goal is travel is not disqualified, but you will want to talk carefully about the hours.
What would you plan for a rainy Tuesday afternoon with a four-year-old?
Why ask it
A specific scenario separates people who have actually filled long afternoons from those describing childcare in the abstract. Good answers are concrete and cheap: baking, a den, a walk in raincoats, a job in the kitchen.
How much do you use our language day to day, and how do you want to improve it?
Why ask it
Listen to the answer rather than the claim, since the call itself is the test. Someone with a plan for classes or conversation practice is easier to help than someone who expects fluency to arrive by living here.
Can you drive, and how would you feel about driving here?
Why ask it
Ask how long they have held a licence, how often they drive at home, and whether they have driven on our side of the road or in snow. Confident answers about a licence held for two months should slow you down.
Can you swim, and do you have first aid or CPR training?
Why ask it
Two practical facts that often go unasked until they matter. If training is missing, the useful question is whether they would take a course before arriving or in the first month.
What would you do if a child fell and hit their head while I was out?
Why ask it
You are listening for a sequence: stay with the child, check for specific signs, call you, call for help if needed. Anyone whose first instinct is to wait and see, or to avoid worrying you, needs guidance.
A four-year-old refuses to leave the playground and starts screaming. What do you do?
Why ask it
This is the daily reality of the job, and it shows whether they have tools other than bribery or shouting. Warnings before transitions, offering a choice, or carrying calmly are all sensible answers.
How would you respond to a child who tells you that you are not their parent?
Why ask it
Almost every au pair hears a version of this. What matters is whether they take it personally, escalate it, or hold the boundary calmly and mention it to you later.
What would you cook for the children on an evening you are alone with them?
Why ask it
This tests both cooking and planning, and it tells you what they eat themselves. Someone who names three simple meals will manage; someone who has never cooked will need teaching, which is fine if you know.
What did you like and dislike about your last childcare job?
Why ask it
The dislikes are the useful half. Complaints about long hours or unclear expectations tell you what to be precise about with your own terms; complaints about the children themselves are worth exploring.
How do you feel about living with a family rather than with people your own age?
Why ask it
This is the part candidates think least about and the reason placements most often end early. You want someone who has considered the quiet evenings and has some plan for a life outside the house.
Have you been away from home for a long stretch before, and how did it go?
Why ask it
Previous time abroad, at a boarding school, or at university is the best available signal about homesickness. If this is the first extended time away, ask what they think will be hardest.
What are you hoping to do with your free time here?
Why ask it
Classes, a sport, other au pairs, or travel at weekends all need to fit around your schedule. It is easier to agree the shape of that now than to negotiate it after they arrive.
What would you want us to do if you were homesick or unhappy?
Why ask it
Asking in advance makes it far more likely they will speak up later. Some want to be left alone, some want to be included in family evenings, and knowing which saves a difficult month.
Looking at the schedule I have described, what would you find hard?
Why ask it
This invites an honest objection while it is still cheap to hear. A candidate who says nothing at all would be difficult is either not listening or unwilling to raise problems, and both cause trouble later.
How do you feel about our pets, and do you have any allergies?
Why ask it
A dog or cat can be the deciding factor in a placement and rarely appears in a profile. Ask about allergies and dietary needs in the same breath, since these shape daily life in a shared house.
Is there anything about our family you would want to change or ask about?
Why ask it
Good candidates arrive with questions about hours, days off, and the car. No questions at all often means they will accept anything now and be unhappy later.
Can I speak to a family you have worked for and to your parents?
Why ask it
References for childcare should be from someone who left children in their care, not a school or a friend. Speaking to a parent is also normal in this arrangement and tells you how supported the candidate is.
What would make you decide this placement was not right for you?
Why ask it
A frank answer here is a good sign, because it means they will say something before leaving abruptly. Vagueness usually means you will find out by message a few months in.
Interviewing and settling an au pair
Practical guidance for the conversation itself
Running the interview
Interview twice, and let the children be there once
A first call for you and a second with the children in the room shows you two different people. Watch whether she speaks to them directly or through you, and whether she can hold their attention for five minutes.
Use situations, not qualities
Asking whether someone is patient produces the word yes. Asking what they would do when a toddler bites at a playgroup produces something you can judge, and it shows how they think under mild pressure.
Describe the hardest part of your week honestly
The 6am starts, the two-hour bedtime, the child who screams in the car. Candidates who accept a rosy description and arrive to something else leave early, and rematching costs everyone more than honesty would have.
Checks worth doing
Speak to a childcare reference on the phone
Written references say little. Ask a previous family what a normal day looked like, whether they ever worried, and whether they would host her again.
Confirm the driving record if driving is part of the job
Ask how long the licence has been held, how much they drive at home, and whether your insurer will cover them at their age. Get the insurance answer before you offer, not after.
Understand what the agency has and has not checked
Screening varies between agencies and countries. Ask what background checks, medical information, and childcare hours were verified, and do the rest yourself rather than assuming.
The first few weeks
Write the schedule down and post it
Hours, days off, and the daily routine on the fridge prevents most early misunderstandings. A new arrival is also managing a language and a time zone, and will not retain a verbal briefing.
Set a weekly ten minutes to talk
A short fixed check-in, at a time that is not bedtime, catches small problems while they are still small. Without it, the first you hear of an issue tends to be a resignation.
Help with one social connection early
Another au pair, a class, a local group. Loneliness ends more placements than childcare ability does, and the first month is when it is easiest to prevent.