Questions to Ask British People
Questions for talking to someone from Britain that go past the weather and the tea: regional identity, food nobody outside the country has heard of, understatement, class, and what they would show a visitor.
The questions
Open any question for the note
Whereabouts are you from, and how do people there describe themselves?
Why ask it
Regional identity in Britain is often stronger than national identity, and someone may call themselves Yorkshire, Scouse, Welsh or Northern Irish long before they say British. Getting this right at the start avoids the most common mistake, which is treating England and Britain as the same thing.
What does a normal Sunday look like where you grew up?
Why ask it
This gets specifics rather than a summary of national culture: the roast, or the shops shutting, or football, or nothing at all. Sundays differ enormously between towns and generations, which is usually a surprise to anyone expecting one answer.
What food did you grow up with that people elsewhere have never heard of?
Why ask it
Almost everyone has one, and it is rarely fish and chips. Expect regional answers about pastries, gravy, sauces and puddings, and expect a mild argument if anyone else from Britain is present.
Which pub would you take me to, and why that one?
Why ask it
Asking for a specific place rather than an opinion about pubs gets you somewhere real, plus the reason: the garden, the landlord, the fact that nobody plays music. It is a warmer question than asking what British pubs are like.
What is the most useful bit of slang I should know?
Why ask it
You get a practical answer and a demonstration of how much of it is local. Ask for one word people say constantly rather than the funniest one, since the everyday words are the ones you will actually miss.
Which accent can you place instantly, and which one still fools you?
Why ask it
British people can usually locate an accent to within a few miles and enjoy explaining how. The second half is the more interesting question, because it produces stories about being mistaken for somewhere else.
Which television programme do you quote without realising?
Why ask it
Shared comedy references run deep and are almost invisible from outside, so this explains half of the jokes you have not been following. Expect a programme from childhood rather than anything current.
What happens where you live when it snows?
Why ask it
This is more specific than talking about the weather in general and it lands differently depending on where they are from. Somebody from Aberdeen and somebody from Kent will describe two different countries.
What do people get wrong about Britain most often?
Why ask it
Expect an answer about London standing in for everywhere else, or about class, or about accents. If the answer is a complaint about a stereotype, ask what the accurate version would be.
What did everyone at your school do that you later found out was regional?
Why ask it
Playground games, school dinners, the word for the last day of term and what you called a bread roll all vary by county. People are genuinely surprised by their own answers here, which makes it a good question.
How would you tell someone you disliked something without actually saying so?
Why ask it
Understatement is easier to describe from the inside than to explain from outside, and asking directly gets a demonstration. The answer is a useful guide to what phrases like not bad and interesting actually mean.
What is queuing actually about?
Why ask it
It looks like a joke about politeness from outside and turns out to be about fairness, which is a more serious answer than expected. Ask what happens to someone who pushes in.
Which British institution do you defend abroad and complain about at home?
Why ask it
The health service, the railways and the BBC are the usual candidates, and the split between the two positions is where the real opinion lives. It is a way into politics without asking about voting.
Which national habit embarrasses you?
Why ask it
This invites self-criticism rather than pride, so the answers are franker: behaviour abroad, drinking, apologising, an unwillingness to complain properly. Best asked once the conversation has warmed up.
What did you learn in school history that turned out to be only half the story?
Why ask it
Empire, industry and the wars all get taught differently depending on when and where someone went to school. Ask what they have read since, rather than what they think about it now, and the conversation stays curious rather than defensive.
What is something about class here that outsiders never pick up on?
Why ask it
Class signals in Britain are carried in accent, vocabulary and school rather than income, and they are almost invisible to visitors. Expect a careful answer, because it is a subject people discuss more readily indirectly.
What is the difference between where you grew up and where you live now?
Why ask it
Internal moves in Britain often mean a change in accent, cost of living and the kind of work available. The answer tends to include what they had to adjust and what they refused to.
Which part of Britain do you not know at all and would like to?
Why ask it
Most people have a whole region they have never visited, which undercuts any assumption that a small country means a familiar one. It also gets you a recommendation list they are enthusiastic about.
What do you miss when you are abroad, and what do you not miss at all?
Why ask it
The homesick answers are usually small and specific: a shop, a bread, a radio programme. The second half is where you learn what they actually find hard about living there.
What would you want a visitor to see that is not in any guidebook?
Why ask it
A good closing question, because it asks for their own taste rather than the national highlights. Answers are usually walks, small towns and out-of-season places rather than anything with an entry fee.
Talking About Britain
Practical guidance for the conversation itself
Getting the terms right
- England, Britain and the United Kingdom are not interchangeable, and using the wrong one is the fastest way to lose a Scottish, Welsh or Northern Irish person's interest.
- Ask which they use about themselves rather than deciding for them. Some people say British, some say English, some say neither.
- London is not a stand-in for the country. Ask about where someone is actually from before generalising.
- Northern Ireland has its own political sensitivities. Follow their lead rather than opening the subject yourself.
Reading the answers
Understatement is information
Not bad often means good, and interesting often means the opposite. If an answer seems lukewarm, ask a follow-up rather than assuming indifference.
Self-deprecation is not an invitation
People will happily mock their own town, food or country. Joining in with the same joke usually goes down worse than asking a question about it.
Regional pride runs deeper than national pride
Questions about a city or a county tend to get warmer answers than questions about the nation. If a conversation stalls, get more local rather than more general.
Subjects that go well
- Food from a specific region, especially anything with a disputed name.
- Accents and where someone can place yours.
- Old television and radio, particularly childhood comedy.
- Walks, coastlines and places nobody visits.
- Football, if you are prepared for the answer to be about a lower league club rather than a famous one.
Subjects to handle with care
- Empire and colonial history. Fine to discuss, better as a question about what they were taught than as an accusation.
- The monarchy, which produces strong opinions in both directions.
- Class, which people discuss obliquely rather than directly.
- Money, salaries and house prices, which are less openly discussed than in some countries.
- Recent political splits, unless they raise them first.