Questions to Ask Cat Owners
Questions for talking to cat owners, whether you are making conversation at a friend's house, thinking about getting a cat yourself, or trying to understand why someone rearranged their living room around an animal that ignores them. They run from the easy ones about names and habits to the honest ones about cost, mess and grief.
20 questions, each with the reason to ask it · includes a conversation guide
The questions
Open any question to see why it works.
- 1
What's your cat's name, and did it stick or did you end up calling them something else?
Nearly every cat has a second name that arrived later and is now the one actually used. Asking for both gets you the official version and the household version, and the second one usually comes with a story about a habit or a noise.
- 2
How did the two of you end up together?
Cats arrive by shelter, by breeder, or by simply turning up and refusing to leave, and the third category is more common than people expect. The route in shapes how the owner thinks about the animal, particularly whether they feel chosen.
- 3
What is your cat's most specific opinion?
This gets a better answer than asking about personality, because cats have startlingly narrow preferences: one chair, water only from a running tap, an unreasonable hatred of a particular tote bag. The specificity is what makes owners laugh.
- 4
Where does the cat sleep, and where were they supposed to sleep?
The gap between the two is a reliable joke and a reliable insight. Almost everyone bought a cat bed that went unused, and the answer usually reveals where the household actually surrendered.
- 5
What does your cat do that you have never seen another cat do?
Owners keep a private catalogue of oddities they assume is normal until asked: fetching hair ties, opening a specific cupboard, screaming at a wall at four in the morning. This is where the good material lives.
- 6
Is your cat a lap cat, and did you get what you expected?
Affection is the least predictable thing about a cat and the thing people most want. Listen for whether the owner adjusted their expectations or is still quietly negotiating, which is a fair preview for anyone considering a cat of their own.
- 7
Indoor, outdoor, or something in between?
This is a genuine dividing line among cat owners, and views differ by country as much as by household. Ask what led to the decision rather than debating it, since most owners have already argued the point with someone.
- 8
What did you have to give up in your house?
Every cat household has a casualty: a sofa arm, a set of blinds, a houseplant collection, a policy about closed doors. The answer tells anyone thinking of getting a cat what the actual cost of admission looks like.
- 9
How does your cat wake you up?
Cats have an unusually broad repertoire here and owners describe it in detail because they have lived it. It also quietly answers whether the cat has access to the bedroom, which is a household rule that says a lot.
- 10
What do you feed them, and how did you land on that?
Cat feeding is a surprisingly deep topic involving wet against dry, prescription diets, and one animal who will only eat a discontinued flavour. Owners who have been through a fussy phase or a urinary problem have hard-won knowledge worth hearing.
- 11
How do you handle the litter tray?
This is the part of cat ownership nobody discusses and everybody deals with daily. Where it lives, what litter, how often, and what they tried before is genuinely useful information for a prospective owner and mildly funny for everyone else.
- 12
What does a cat actually cost you in a year?
Food, litter, vaccinations and dental work add up in a way that surprises people who thought of cats as low maintenance. Ask whether they have insurance and whether they would take it again, since opinions split hard on that.
- 13
Have you ever had a middle-of-the-night emergency vet visit?
Almost every long-term owner has one of these stories, and it usually involves a swallowed object, a blocked bladder, or a fight. It is the moment the relationship stops being casual, and owners tell it seriously.
- 14
How do you get your cat into a carrier?
A question that produces both technique and comedy. Owners who have solved this have a real method involving leaving the carrier out permanently or a towel, and owners who have not will describe a wrestling match in detail.
- 15
Does your cat get on with anyone else in the house?
Multi-cat households, dogs, babies and visiting relatives all produce different answers. Ask how the introduction went, because the story of a bad introduction is the most practical thing an existing owner can pass on.
- 16
What do you think your cat thinks you are?
An unserious question that gets a surprisingly considered answer. Owners have usually formed a private theory involving staff, a large clumsy sibling, or a heat source, and it reveals how they read the animal's behaviour.
- 17
What did nobody warn you about before you got a cat?
The honest answer is rarely the shedding. Expect hairballs on carpet at three in the morning, the difficulty of travelling, or how much a cat notices when you are sad, and treat this as the most useful question in the set if you are considering one.
- 18
Is there a cat behaviour you never figured out?
Unsolved mysteries are more interesting than solved ones, and owners are usually still curious about theirs. The staring, the sudden sprints, the one room they will not enter. Nobody has a full explanation and that is the point.
- 19
Have you had a cat before this one, and how were they different?
Comparison is where owners become precise. Talking about a previous cat reveals what they now know to look for, and it often opens the door to talking about a cat they lost, if they want to.
- 20
What will you miss most about this one?
Ask this only if the conversation has real warmth in it, and be ready to sit with the answer. Cat owners think about this more than they say, particularly with an older animal, and being asked kindly is usually welcome rather than morbid.
Talking to cat people
Practical guidance for the conversation itself.
How to keep the conversation going
How to keep the conversation going
- Ask about this cat, not cats in general. Owners have very little to say about the species and an unlimited amount to say about the animal in their kitchen.
- Ask to see a photo. It is not a stalling tactic, it reliably produces three more stories and the owner will show you the ridiculous ones first.
- Take the odd behaviour seriously when they describe it. Owners are used to being told all cats do that, and treating their cat as a specific individual is what opens people up.
- Do not offer training advice unless asked. Cat ownership involves a lot of unsolicited opinion and most of it is about litter trays.
- If they mention a cat in the past tense, follow their lead. Some people want to tell you about that cat and some do not, and the pause after the sentence will tell you which.
If you are asking because you might get a cat
If you are asking because you might get a cat
- 1Ask about the first month specifically. Almost everyone describes a period of hiding under furniture that they were not prepared for.
- 2Ask what the annual cost really is, including dental work, which is the expense most new owners never see coming.
- 3Ask what happens when they travel, and what that costs or who it depends on.
- 4Ask about allergies in the household, and whether anyone discovered one after the cat arrived.
- 5Ask an owner of an older cat what changed as the animal aged. A cat is a fifteen to twenty year commitment and the last few years look different from the first few.
- 6Ask what they would do differently, then ask what they would do exactly the same.