Questions to Ask Cat Owners
Questions for talking to cat owners, whether you are making conversation at a friend's house, thinking about getting a cat yourself, or trying to understand why someone rearranged their living room around an animal that ignores them. They run from the easy ones about names and habits to the honest ones about cost, mess and grief.
Want questions from the whole vault instead? Try the random question generator.
The questions
Each question, and why to ask it
What's your cat's name, and did it stick or did you end up calling them something else?
Why ask it
Nearly every cat has a second name that arrived later and is now the one actually used. Asking for both gets you the official version and the household version, and the second one usually comes with a story about a habit or a noise.
How did the two of you end up together?
Why ask it
Cats arrive by shelter, by breeder, or by simply turning up and refusing to leave, and the third category is more common than people expect. The route in shapes how the owner thinks about the animal, particularly whether they feel chosen.
What is your cat's most specific opinion?
Why ask it
This gets a better answer than asking about personality, because cats have startlingly narrow preferences: one chair, water only from a running tap, an unreasonable hatred of a particular tote bag. The specificity is what makes owners laugh.
Where does the cat sleep, and where were they supposed to sleep?
Why ask it
The gap between the two is a reliable joke and a reliable insight. Almost everyone bought a cat bed that went unused, and the answer usually reveals where the household actually surrendered.
What does your cat do that you have never seen another cat do?
Why ask it
Owners keep a private catalogue of oddities they assume is normal until asked: fetching hair ties, opening a specific cupboard, screaming at a wall at four in the morning. This is where the good material lives.
Is your cat a lap cat, and did you get what you expected?
Why ask it
Affection is the least predictable thing about a cat and the thing people most want. Listen for whether the owner adjusted their expectations or is still quietly negotiating, which is a fair preview for anyone considering a cat of their own.
Indoor, outdoor, or something in between?
Why ask it
This is a genuine dividing line among cat owners, and views differ by country as much as by household. Ask what led to the decision rather than debating it, since most owners have already argued the point with someone.
What did you have to give up in your house?
Why ask it
Every cat household has a casualty: a sofa arm, a set of blinds, a houseplant collection, a policy about closed doors. The answer tells anyone thinking of getting a cat what the actual cost of admission looks like.
How does your cat wake you up?
Why ask it
Cats have an unusually broad repertoire here and owners describe it in detail because they have lived it. It also quietly answers whether the cat has access to the bedroom, which is a household rule that says a lot.
What do you feed them, and how did you land on that?
Why ask it
Cat feeding is a surprisingly deep topic involving wet against dry, prescription diets, and one animal who will only eat a discontinued flavour. Owners who have been through a fussy phase or a urinary problem have hard-won knowledge worth hearing.
How do you handle the litter tray?
Why ask it
This is the part of cat ownership nobody discusses and everybody deals with daily. Where it lives, what litter, how often, and what they tried before is genuinely useful information for a prospective owner and mildly funny for everyone else.
What does a cat actually cost you in a year?
Why ask it
Food, litter, vaccinations and dental work add up in a way that surprises people who thought of cats as low maintenance. Ask whether they have insurance and whether they would take it again, since opinions split hard on that.
Have you ever had a middle-of-the-night emergency vet visit?
Why ask it
Almost every long-term owner has one of these stories, and it usually involves a swallowed object, a blocked bladder, or a fight. It is the moment the relationship stops being casual, and owners tell it seriously.
How do you get your cat into a carrier?
Why ask it
A question that produces both technique and comedy. Owners who have solved this have a real method involving leaving the carrier out permanently or a towel, and owners who have not will describe a wrestling match in detail.
Does your cat get on with anyone else in the house?
Why ask it
Multi-cat households, dogs, babies and visiting relatives all produce different answers. Ask how the introduction went, because the story of a bad introduction is the most practical thing an existing owner can pass on.
What do you think your cat thinks you are?
Why ask it
An unserious question that gets a surprisingly considered answer. Owners have usually formed a private theory involving staff, a large clumsy sibling, or a heat source, and it reveals how they read the animal's behaviour.
What did nobody warn you about before you got a cat?
Why ask it
The honest answer is rarely the shedding. Expect hairballs on carpet at three in the morning, the difficulty of travelling, or how much a cat notices when you are sad, and treat this as the most useful question in the set if you are considering one.
Is there a cat behaviour you never figured out?
Why ask it
Unsolved mysteries are more interesting than solved ones, and owners are usually still curious about theirs. The staring, the sudden sprints, the one room they will not enter. Nobody has a full explanation and that is the point.
Have you had a cat before this one, and how were they different?
Why ask it
Comparison is where owners become precise. Talking about a previous cat reveals what they now know to look for, and it often opens the door to talking about a cat they lost, if they want to.
What will you miss most about this one?
Why ask it
Ask this only if the conversation has real warmth in it, and be ready to sit with the answer. Cat owners think about this more than they say, particularly with an older animal, and being asked kindly is usually welcome rather than morbid.
What does your cat do when you come home?
Why ask it
This separates cats that wait at the door from cats that appear only once a tin is opened. Owners of the second kind almost always describe it fondly, which says as much about them as the cat.
How does your cat let you know it wants something?
Why ask it
Cats train their owners more reliably than the other way round, so expect a specific ritual: a tap on the leg, sitting on a keyboard, a yowl at one particular cupboard door.
What noise does your cat make most, and what do you think it means?
Why ask it
Owners interpret confidently because they have tested it for years. Listen for whether they distinguish between sounds; people who only report generic meowing spend less time in the same room as the cat.
Where does your cat go when someone knocks at the door?
Why ask it
Most cats have exactly one spot and the owner can name it instantly. Someone who cannot name it usually has an unusually confident cat, which is an answer in itself.
What is the strangest thing your cat has tried to eat?
Why ask it
Hair ties, plastic bags, houseplants. It often surfaces an emergency vet trip, and it gives them an opening to admit the house is not as cat-proofed as they would like.
Which toy has actually held its interest, and which ones were ignored?
Why ask it
The winner is almost always free: a bottle cap, a shoelace, a cardboard box. The gap between what owners buy and what cats use is where the good stories are.
Has your cat ever brought you something you wish it had not?
Why ask it
Indoor cats bring socks and hair ties, outdoor cats bring worse. Asking it this way gives them room to say whether the cat goes outside, which some owners are braced to defend.
If your cat could tell you one thing, what do you think it would be?
Why ask it
Playful on the surface, but the answer usually names whatever the owner suspects they are getting wrong: feeding times, hours alone, the door that stays shut.
Talking to cat people
Practical guidance for the conversation itself
How to keep the conversation going
- Ask about this cat, not cats in general. Owners have very little to say about the species and an unlimited amount to say about the animal in their kitchen.
- Ask to see a photo. It is not a stalling tactic, it reliably produces three more stories and the owner will show you the ridiculous ones first.
- Take the odd behaviour seriously when they describe it. Owners are used to being told all cats do that, and treating their cat as a specific individual is what opens people up.
- Do not offer training advice unless asked. Cat ownership involves a lot of unsolicited opinion and most of it is about litter trays.
- If they mention a cat in the past tense, follow their lead. Some people want to tell you about that cat and some do not, and the pause after the sentence will tell you which.
If you are asking because you might get a cat
- 1Ask about the first month specifically. Almost everyone describes a period of hiding under furniture that they were not prepared for.
- 2Ask what the annual cost really is, including dental work, which is the expense most new owners never see coming.
- 3Ask what happens when they travel, and what that costs or who it depends on.
- 4Ask about allergies in the household, and whether anyone discovered one after the cat arrived.
- 5Ask an owner of an older cat what changed as the animal aged. A cat is a fifteen to twenty year commitment and the last few years look different from the first few.
- 6Ask what they would do differently, then ask what they would do exactly the same.