Questions to Ask for Feedback
For anyone at work who wants to know how they are really doing and keeps hearing 'you're doing fine': questions to ask for feedback on yourself and the way you work, not on a single project. The list opens with questions that work on anyone, then gives the ones for your manager, for peers and clients, and for your own team if you manage one, before turning to what to ask right after a presentation or meeting and how to follow up on what you were told. Each has a note on what a useful or a worrying answer sounds like and what to do with it.
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The questions
Each question, and why to ask it
Start here
What is one thing I could do better?
Why ask it
Asking for one thing is what makes this answerable: nobody has to sum you up, only pick something. A useful reply names a behavior and a situation, such as 'send the summary the same day'. If you hear 'nothing, you're doing fine', narrow it: 'in last week's client call, then, what is one thing you would have changed?'
What should I do more of, and what should I do less of?
Why ask it
The 'less of' half is the one people skip, so if they only answer the first part, ask for the second again by name. Read the reply as how they would move your effort around, not as a verdict on your ability. Two or three people giving the same 'less of' is a clearer signal than any single answer.
What am I doing well that I should keep doing?
Why ask it
This is not fishing for praise: it stops you from fixing something that already works. Ask for the effect too, 'what does that make easier for you?', so you know why it matters. A vague answer such as 'you're a great team player' suggests they have not watched closely, which is worth remembering when you weigh their criticism.
What do you think is holding me back?
Why ask it
Say what you are aiming at first: a promotion, bigger projects, more trust with clients. A good answer is something you can change, such as how you react to pushback. An answer about circumstances, such as budget or headcount, becomes useful once you add 'and what is within my control while that stays as it is?'
What do I do that I may not realize I am doing?
Why ask it
Blind spots tend to be small and visible to everyone else: checking a phone, finishing other people's sentences, going quiet when challenged. Expect a pause and let it run, because the person is deciding whether you mean it. Ask someone who sees you in a setting your manager does not, since habits show up differently in each room.
How do I come across to people who do not work with me every day?
Why ask it
You know what you meant, and only other people know how it landed. Put this to someone on another team, or someone senior who sees you a few times a month, because their picture of you is built from a handful of moments. Listen for words about manner, such as rushed, guarded, hard to read or quiet, which seldom make it into written feedback.
If you rated how I work with you out of ten, what would move it up by one point?
Why ask it
A number is quick to give, and 'one point' keeps the request small enough to answer honestly. The reason matters more than the score: a seven with a clear fix is more useful than a nine with none. Do not argue the number.
When have you seen me at my best recently, and when at my worst?
Why ask it
Two real occasions give you a comparison to study: what was different about the preparation, the people or the pressure. People name the good day easily and stall on the bad one. Offer one yourself, 'I thought the budget review went badly', and ask whether they saw it the same way.
What feedback do you think I would find hardest to hear?
Why ask it
Naming the difficulty yourself gives the other person permission to say the thing they have been softening. Save it for someone you trust to be fair, at a time when you have privacy and no meeting straight afterwards. Whatever comes, the first reply is 'thank you', and your questions can wait a day.
If you were in my position, what would you do differently?
Why ask it
A request for advice often gets a more concrete reply than a request for an opinion of you, because the person is solving a problem instead of passing judgment. The answer also shows what they think your job is, which is feedback in itself when it differs from how you spend your time. It suits senior people who say they do not know your work well enough to comment.
Manager
What would I need to be doing differently to be ready for the next level?
Why ask it
Ask months before a review, not in one, so there is time to act on the answer. A good one describes work, such as 'run a project across two teams without me in the room', and the worrying one is 'just keep doing what you're doing', which calls for asking what the last person promoted was doing that you are not yet. How promotions are decided differs from one employer to the next, so ask how it works there.
Which skill would make the biggest difference to my work if I got better at it?
Why ask it
Asking for one skill forces a ranking, and the manager's pick is often not the course you were planning to take. Ask where the gap last showed, so you know whether they mean the skill itself or how you use it under pressure. Whether there is time or money for training is a separate matter that depends on the employer, so ask how it works there.
Where do you still check my work, and what would let you stop?
Why ask it
Checking is a measure of trust that a manager rarely describes unless asked. The second half turns it into a target: a run of clean reports, a kind of decision you keep getting right. 'I don't check anything' is good news you can test by asking what they would look at first if something went wrong.
If you wrote my review today, what would be in it that I am not expecting?
Why ask it
The reason to ask early is that nothing in the real review should be news. A manager who answers plainly has handed you a list with months left to work on it. Take 'no surprises' as a cue to ask which section would be the weakest, since there is always one.
Which part of my job am I doing at the level you need, and which part is not there yet?
Why ask it
Splitting the job into parts makes a general 'fine' hard to give. Many people are stronger on the part they enjoy and lighter on the part they put off, and a manager often sees the same split. Before the conversation ends, ask what 'there' would look like for the weaker part.
Now that I have been here a few months, what has surprised you about how I work?
Why ask it
One for anyone new to a job or a team, while the manager still remembers what they expected when they hired you. Surprises run both ways: something you do better than they hoped, and something they assumed you would already know. Ask early, when a gap is still read as 'new' and not yet as 'slow'.
What do you hear about me from other people that I should know?
Why ask it
Managers collect remarks about you from their peers, your stakeholders and their own boss, and little of it reaches you. Ask for the gist, not the names: pressing for who said it teaches the manager to keep it to themselves next time. One secondhand comment is thin evidence, so ask whether they have heard it more than once.
What do you wish I brought to you sooner?
Why ask it
Most managers have an answer ready: bad news, a slipping date, a decision you were unsure about. It marks where your sense of 'worth mentioning' differs from theirs. If they say you already bring too much, that is the same information pointing the other way, so ask what you could simply decide.
What should I change about how I deal with the people above you?
Why ask it
Senior people see you in short bursts, so small habits weigh more there: too much detail, hedged answers, arriving without a recommendation. Your manager is the one who hears their reaction afterwards. Ask for one habit and one occasion.
What have you stopped mentioning because you assumed I would not change it?
Why ask it
A manager who has raised a point once or twice may simply go quiet, and the quiet can look like approval. Anything that comes up here is something they had given up on, so it deserves more weight than a first-time remark. Skip the explanation of why it did not change and ask what they would need to see to believe it had.
What would you like to see from me over the next three months that you have not seen yet?
Why ask it
A forward-looking question is easier for a manager who dislikes criticizing, because they can describe what they want without saying what was wrong. Write the answer down in their words and bring it back at the three-month mark. A reply with no shape to it, such as 'more ownership', needs one follow-up: 'on what, for example?'
How would you rather I ask you for feedback: in our one-on-ones, right after the work, or in writing?
Why ask it
Some managers think best on the spot and some need a day's notice, and asking the wrong way gets you 'all good'. Once you know, use it: send the question ahead if they want time, or catch them straight after the meeting if they like it fresh. It also tells them you plan to keep asking.
Peers and clients
What is it like to work with me when a deadline is close?
Why ask it
Pressure is when working habits show, and peers are the ones standing next to you at the time. Listen for whether you go quiet, take over, or pass the stress along. A colleague who says 'fine, same as always' may be being kind, so ask what they would want from you in the last two days before the next one.
Is there anything I do that makes extra work for you?
Why ask it
Peers will absorb a late handoff or an unclear request for months without a word. The answers are usually small and fixable within a week: a file format, a missing heads-up, a meeting that could have been a message. Fix one quickly and tell them, and the next answer will be bigger and more candid.
When we disagree, how do I handle it from where you sit?
Why ask it
Ask someone you have actually disagreed with, and name the occasion if you can. A good sign is hearing that you argued hard and then backed the decision. 'You go quiet and then do it your way' or 'I stopped raising things' are the worrying ones, and both deserve a thank-you, not a rebuttal.
What do you wish I had asked you about before going ahead?
Why ask it
It finds the decisions where you left someone out without noticing. One example is enough to show the pattern: whose area you tend to step into, or which kind of change people want warning of. If nothing comes to mind, ask again the next time a project of yours touches their work.
What do people come to me for, and what do they go around me for?
Why ask it
A peer hears where requests get routed, so they can describe your reputation in a way your manager cannot. The first half shows what you are trusted with. The second half is the uncomfortable one: if a certain kind of question goes elsewhere, ask whether that is about speed, knowledge or how you react.
If a new teammate asked you what I am like to work with, what would you say?
Why ask it
The imagined third person lets a colleague be franker than they would be to your face, and the answer comes out as a short portrait: the good first, then a 'but'. The 'but' is the feedback. Keep the tone light, and do not put it to someone junior to you, who cannot answer freely.
Which of my messages and updates do you actually read, and which do you skim?
Why ask it
Much of working life happens in writing and almost nobody comments on it. Listen for length, timing and whether the request is easy to find. The quickest fix is to have them forward a message from anyone that they found easy to act on, and to borrow its shape.
What would make me easier to work with from your side?
Why ask it
A question for a client or customer, who will rarely volunteer the answer, since going elsewhere is simpler than complaining. Ask while things are going well, and expect practical replies: one contact instead of three, faster responses, invoices that match the quote. Whether you may ask clients directly or an account lead does it depends on your employer, so check first.
Was there a point when you were not sure what was happening on my end?
Why ask it
Silence is easy to miss from the inside, where you know the work is moving. A specific moment shows where an update was needed: after the kickoff, during a delay, over a holiday. If the client names one, ask how often and in what form they would have liked to hear from you.
When you describe my work to your own boss, what do you say?
Why ask it
Your contact has to justify you to someone you never meet, and the words they use there are your reputation inside that company. If they struggle to answer, they may not have a clear story to tell. You can help by sending one line of results after each piece of work.
What does someone else you work with do that you wish I did?
Why ask it
It invites a comparison without asking the client to criticize you, and it shows what good service means to this particular person. The answer may be small, such as a weekly summary, or something you cannot offer. Say which it is: a clear 'we can do that' or 'we cannot, and here is why' is better than a maybe.
What did you almost bring up with me and then decide to let go?
Why ask it
Small irritations that go unsaid add up, and a client may remember them when the contract comes up for renewal. Asking for the ones they let go lowers the bar: it does not have to be a complaint to be worth mentioning. Fix what you can within the week and report back that it is done.
Your team
What could I change that would make your job easier?
Why ask it
A dependable opener for a manager asking upward, because it is about their work and not about your character. Expect a small first answer, such as a meeting moved or a quicker approval. That is a test: act on it within days and say that you have, and the answer a month later is likely to be a bigger one.
What should I stop doing as your manager?
Why ask it
'Stop' is harder to say to a boss than 'start', so offer a guess of your own first: 'I suspect I rewrite your drafts too much. Is that fair?' If nobody on the team can name anything, the likelier reading is that it does not feel safe yet, not that there is nothing. Keep asking in one-on-ones, never in the team meeting.
Where do I get involved more than I need to, and where do you want more of me?
Why ask it
It covers both ways a manager goes wrong, hovering and vanishing, and most people have a view on each. Answers differ by person: the amount of checking that stifles one report steadies another. Agree on one change for that person and look at it again after a few weeks.
What have I said or decided lately that did not make sense to you?
Why ask it
Decisions arrive on a team without the reasoning that produced them, and people fill the gap with guesses. Whatever they name, the remedy is usually an explanation, not a reversal. If several people name the same decision, explain it to everyone, and ask yourself whether it was the wrong call.
When did you last disagree with me and keep it to yourself?
Why ask it
A team that never pushes back is not necessarily a team that agrees. When someone names a time, find out what would have made it easier to speak, and resist reopening the argument itself. 'Never' is harder to trust, so follow it with what they have seen you do when somebody else disagreed with you.
How clear is it what I expect from you, and where is it fuzzy?
Why ask it
It is easy for a manager to believe their expectations are clear, because they are clear in the manager's own head. 'Fuzzy' gives the person an easy word to hang an answer on. Typical replies are about which of two tasks comes first, or how finished a piece of work has to be before you see it.
What did a previous manager do for you that I do not?
Why ask it
People find it easier to praise a former boss than to criticize the current one, and the praise is the feedback. You may hear about more context, quicker decisions, or someone who argued for their pay. You need not copy another manager's style, but you should know what this person is missing.
Do you get enough feedback from me, and is it specific enough to use?
Why ask it
Two faults sit in this one, too little and too vague, and a report will usually admit to wanting more before they will call what they get unhelpful. The same manager can be too soft for one person and too sharp for another, so ask each report separately. Follow with 'how would you like to get it?', and give the next piece that way.
What does the team wish I knew?
Why ask it
Asking about 'the team' lets one person speak without owning the opinion, which is sometimes the only way a manager hears about workload, a difficult colleague or a rumor. Treat it as a lead to look into, not as proof. Never go hunting for who else feels that way.
After an event
What worked best in that presentation?
Why ask it
Ask as soon as you can afterwards, while the person still remembers particular slides and moments. Knowing what landed tells you what to keep, which matters as much as the fixes. If they say 'it was all good', ask which part they would repeat to someone who missed it.
Where did I lose people?
Why ask it
The wording assumes there was such a moment, which there nearly always is, and that makes it safe to name. Common answers are a dense slide, a long setup before the point, or a reply that ran on. Ask what they saw in the room, phones out or side conversations, because you were too busy presenting to notice.
What was the main thing you took away?
Why ask it
If their answer matches the point you meant to make, the structure worked. If it is a side detail, or whatever came in the last two minutes, the message was buried and the fix is to move it to the front. Ask two people separately and compare.
How did I handle the questions?
Why ask it
Questions are the part you cannot fully rehearse. Listen for whether you answered what was asked, how long you took, and how you sounded when you did not know. 'You got a bit defensive on the finance one' is a gift: ask what a better reply would have sounded like.
If that had been your meeting to run, what would you have changed?
Why ask it
It fits a meeting you chaired better than a talk, and it works well with someone more experienced than you. Answers tend to be about structure: the agenda, who got to speak, whether a decision was actually made. Take one change into the next meeting and tell them you are trying it.
When that went wrong, what would you have wanted me to do differently?
Why ask it
This belongs to the days after a missed deadline, an error that reached a customer or a meeting that turned tense. Wait until the problem is fixed and tempers have cooled, then ask the person it landed on hardest. The answers are more often about timing and warning, 'tell me on Tuesday, not Friday', than about the mistake itself.
Did I talk too much, too little, or about right?
Why ask it
A three-way choice takes seconds to answer, so you can ask it in the hallway on the way out. 'Too much' often means you kept making a point after the room had agreed. 'Too little' from a manager can mean they wanted the people present to see more of you, so ask where they would have liked you to come in.
Will you watch for one thing while I present and tell me afterwards?
Why ask it
Ask before the event, and name the thing: pace, filler words, whether you only look at the most senior person. An observer with a brief gives sharper feedback than one asked cold at the end. Choose someone who will be there anyway, and keep it to a single item so they can still follow the meeting.
What should I do differently next time I present to that group?
Why ask it
Tying it to the same audience gets advice about those people: what they care about, how much detail they want, who needs talking to beforehand. It is the one to put to your manager after you have presented to their boss. Keep the answer where you will see it when you prepare the next one.
Follow-up
Can you give me an example of when that happened?
Why ask it
Feedback with no occasion attached is hard to act on, so this is the follow-up to reach for first. Ask it with curiosity and a pen in your hand: said flatly, it sounds like a demand for proof. If they cannot recall one, ask them to point it out the next time it happens.
What would doing that well look like?
Why ask it
'Be more strategic' or 'show more presence' is a label, and this asks what is underneath it. Push for something observable, such as what you would say, send or stop doing. If they can name a person who does it well, watch that person for a week.
Let me say back what I heard. Did I get that right?
Why ask it
Repeating it in your own words catches the misunderstanding that would otherwise surface a month later. Keep the summary to a sentence or two and leave your own view out of it. People often sharpen or soften a point when they hear it played back, and the corrected version is the one to act on.
Of everything you have mentioned, what should I work on first?
Why ask it
A long list gets nothing done, and the person giving it knows which item matters most to them. Their first choice may not be yours, which is worth a moment's thought, since it shows what they will be watching. Pick one, say so out loud, and park the rest.
Is that something you have seen more than once?
Why ask it
One occasion might be a bad day, and a pattern is a habit: they call for different responses. Ask it mildly, because it can sound as if you are looking for a reason to dismiss the point. A single occasion still counts if it happened in front of the wrong people.
Who else should I ask about this?
Why ask it
One person's view is one angle. The names they give you are people who have seen the same thing, or who see you in a different setting. When you ask the next person, do not repeat what the first one said: ask an open question and see whether it comes up unprompted.
Will you tell me in the moment the next time you see it?
Why ask it
A habit is hard to catch from the inside until someone flags it as it happens. Agree on how: a message after the meeting, a word on the way out. Then make it painless when they do, because the first time you bristle will be the last time they bother.
Can I come back to you in a month and ask whether you have seen a change?
Why ask it
It turns one conversation into two and tells the person you intend to act. Put the date in your calendar before you leave the room. Someone who knows you will ask again tends to pay closer attention in the meantime, so the second conversation is often more detailed than the first.
I have been working on what you told me. Have you noticed a difference?
Why ask it
Name what it was, since they may have forgotten saying it. 'Yes, a bit' is honest progress, and 'I had not noticed' means the change is too small to see or happens where they are not looking. Either way, going back is what makes people willing to tell you things again.
How to ask for feedback and get a real answer
Practical guidance for the conversation itself
Before you ask
Pick the person who saw it
Feedback is only as good as what the person watched. Your manager sees results and how you handle them, peers see how you work day to day, your own reports see how you manage, and a client sees what reaches them. Choose the group on this page that matches the person, and ask about the part of your work they were actually present for.
Say why you are asking
A request for feedback out of nowhere makes people wonder whether you are worried about your job or hoping for a compliment. One sentence settles it: 'I am trying to get better at running meetings, and you have sat through a lot of mine.' It also tells them which kind of answer would help.
Give notice for the big questions
Questions about blind spots, what is holding you back or what would be hardest to hear need thinking time. Send them a day ahead: 'In our one-on-one tomorrow I would like to ask you this.' The questions under After an event work the other way around. Ask them the same day, before the details fade.
Asking in writing
An email or a message suits people who like to think before they answer, and anyone you rarely see in person. Keep it to one or two questions, name the occasion and say how much you are asking for: 'You sat in on Thursday's pitch. What is one thing I should change before I give it again? A line or two by Friday is plenty.' Keep the hardest questions for a conversation, where you can ask for an example and the other person can hear how you take it.
Ask how formal feedback works where you are
Some employers collect written peer reviews or run surveys of the people around you, and some do nothing of the kind. Who sees the answers, whether they are anonymous and whether they count toward a rating or pay all differ by employer. Ask your manager or HR how it works there, so you know whether your own conversations sit alongside a formal process or stand in for one. The same goes for clients: find out who owns the relationship before you ask them anything.
If you manage people, go first
Someone whose pay and prospects you influence takes a risk by criticizing you, so the first round of answers under Your team will be thin. Tell them what you are working on, name one fault of your own, and ask in private. What you do with the first small answer decides whether you ever hear a bigger one.
In the conversation
Ask about a moment, not about you in general
'How am I doing?' asks someone to sum up a whole person on the spot, and the safe answer is 'fine'. 'In Tuesday's review, what is one thing I could have done better?' asks them to remember an hour. Almost every question on this page gets a better answer with a recent occasion attached.
Start with three questions at most
For a one-on-one, take one or two from Start here, one from the group for that person and a follow-up. In a hallway after a meeting, one is enough. A long list turns a conversation into a survey and tires the person out before you reach the question you cared about.
Wait out the pause
After a real question there is usually a silence while the person decides how frank to be. If you fill it with 'but it's fine if nothing comes to mind', you have answered for them. Count to five and let them speak first.
Say thank you before anything else
An explanation sounds like an argument, even when it is accurate, and it teaches the person that telling you things costs effort. Thank them, ask one of the Follow-up questions to understand the point, and keep your side of the story for another day if it is still needed.
Write it down in their words
It is easy to remember criticism as milder than it was. Note the phrase they used and the example they gave. Their exact words are also what you will bring back when you ask whether they have seen a change.
What to do with what you hear
Sort it before you act
Not every comment deserves a change. Put each one in a pile: act on it now, think about it, or set it aside. A point made by one person once belongs in the middle pile until someone else says it too. The same point from a manager, a peer and a client goes straight to the first.
Tell them what you decided
Go back within a week or so and say which thing you are going to work on. If you have decided not to act on something, say that too, with the reason. People keep giving feedback to someone who closes the loop and stop giving it to someone who goes silent.
When you disagree
You may be right that the remark was unfair, and it is still how you looked to that person. Ask for the example, check with one other person who was there, and separate the question of whether it is true from the question of why it appeared that way. The second one is yours to fix in either case.
Ask again on a schedule
One round tells you where you stood that week. A short question after each big meeting and a longer conversation every couple of months gives you a trend, and it makes asking ordinary instead of an occasion. If a review is coming, start at least a few months ahead so nothing in it is new to you.
Mistakes to avoid
Asking 'do you have any feedback for me?'
It is the question that produces 'no, you're doing fine'. It names no occasion, no topic and no size of answer, so the person would have to do all the work. Swap it for any question in the first group.
Asking only people who like you
Friendly colleagues are easier to approach and kinder in what they say. The person who finds you hard to work with holds the feedback you have not heard yet. Ask one of them, about one specific piece of shared work.
Asking in front of others
Few people give a frank answer with an audience, least of all a direct report or a client. Team meetings and group chats get you politeness. Ask one person at a time, in private, or in writing to them alone.
Defending yourself
The moment you explain why it happened, the conversation becomes about whether the feedback is correct, and the person backs down to keep the peace. You have then lost both the point and the next one they would have made.
Collecting it and changing nothing
Asking raises an expectation. If three people tell you the same thing and nothing shifts, they conclude that asking was for show, and the next request gets a shrug. Ask for less and act on more.