Questions to Ask Parents Before Tutoring
Questions to ask parents before tutoring their child, for tutors preparing a first call or intake meeting. The list follows the order such a call tends to run in: why the family is looking now, the picture from school, learning needs and what has already been tried, the child as a person, the goal and how progress will be judged and reported, and the practical terms of where, when and what it costs. A fifteen-minute call has room for about a dozen, so pick the ones that fit the age and the subject and leave the rest for a form or the first session.
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The questions
Each question, and why to ask it
Why now
What made you start looking for a tutor now?
Why ask it
There is nearly always a trigger: a report card, a failed test, a teacher's email or a homework fight that went too far. The trigger tells you what the parent will be watching in the first month, so write it down in their words. If they say 'nothing in particular', ask what the last bad evening with this subject looked like.
Which subject is this for, and which part of it is going worst?
Why ask it
'Math' is not enough to plan a session from. Push for the topic or the kind of task: fractions, word problems, essay structure, timed tests. A parent who cannot say is not being evasive: it means your first session has to include some finding out, and you should tell them so.
How long has this been a struggle, and was there a point where it changed?
Why ask it
A sudden drop points at something that happened: a new teacher, a harder course, a missed unit. A slow slide over years usually means gaps further back than the current grade, and a longer job. Say which one it sounds like before you talk about how many sessions to book.
Are you hoping your child will catch up, keep up or get ahead?
Why ask it
Catching up sends you back to earlier material, keeping up ties you to the pace of the class, and getting ahead lets you set your own. Parents often want all three at once, so ask which matters most this term. 'Get ahead' said about a child who is failing tests tells you how far apart the hope and the starting point are.
Is there a test, exam or application deadline I should plan around?
Why ask it
Eight weeks to an entrance exam is not the same job as an open-ended year of support. Ask for the exact date and the format, and whether the child has taken a practice test yet. If the date is too close for the goal to be realistic, this is the moment to say it.
Whose idea was tutoring: yours, the teacher's or your child's?
Why ask it
A child who asked for help arrives ready to work. One who was told on Sunday night that a stranger is coming on Monday needs a gentler first session. When it was the teacher's suggestion, ask exactly what the teacher said, since that is a second opinion you can use.
On a school night, how long does homework in this subject take, and how much of it needs you sitting alongside?
Why ask it
Two hours with a parent at the table is a different starting point from twenty minutes alone and a page of wrong answers. The reply shows how independent the child is and how much strain the subject puts on the household. It also tells you what 'better' will look like at home, which is often what the parent is really paying for.
School
What grade is your child in, and which course or level are they taking this year?
Why ask it
Get the exact course name, not only the grade: one grade can hold a standard class, an honors class and a support class with different material. If an external exam is involved, ask which board or test, because the content differs from one to the next. Look up the course outline before the first session.
What are the recent grades in this subject, and how do they compare with last year?
Why ask it
You want the trend more than the number. If there is an online gradebook, ask the parent to read you the last three or four scores. A grade that looks low to this family may be average for the class, so ask what they would consider acceptable too.
Can you send me a recent test or a graded assignment before we meet?
Why ask it
Ten minutes with a graded test shows you which questions were skipped, where the written work stops and what the teacher wrote in the margin. Ask for the worst one, not the best. If nothing comes home on paper, ask whether the child can photograph work at school or whether results sit on a portal.
What has the teacher said about what is going wrong?
Why ask it
Teachers see the child in the room, so listen for things a parent cannot know: never asks for help, rushes, drifts off once the explaining starts. If the parent has not spoken to the teacher, suggest they do before you start. Ask for the written comments from the last report card as well.
Do test scores match what your child can do at home the night before?
Why ask it
A child who can do the work at the kitchen table and not in the test room may be losing points to the clock, to nerves or to the way the questions are worded, more than to the content. Ask what the child said happened on the last one. Your part is practice under test conditions; nerves that sound like more than the ordinary kind are for the parent to raise with the school, not for you to put a name to.
Which textbook, program or online platform does the class work from?
Why ask it
Teaching a different method from the one in class can leave a child with two half-learned ways of doing one thing. Knowing the materials lets you match the teacher's vocabulary and layout. If the program is new to you, ask for a login or a photo of the contents page.
How is the grade in this class worked out: tests, homework, projects, participation?
Why ask it
A child can understand the material and still have a poor grade because of missing homework or late projects, and that calls for organizing, not re-teaching. Many parents will not know the weighting. It is usually on the syllabus or the school's portal, so ask them to check and send it.
Would you be comfortable with me being in touch with the teacher, and can you ask the school how that works?
Why ask it
Schools differ on whether and how a teacher may talk to an outside tutor, so do not assume. The simplest route is usually for the parent to make the introduction by email and stay copied on the thread. Even one reply listing the next three topics makes your sessions far better aimed.
How are the other subjects going?
Why ask it
Trouble in one subject is a subject problem. Trouble across the board points somewhere else: reading, organization, attendance, sleep or something happening at school. If it is everywhere, be honest that tutoring one subject may only fix part of it.
Has there been a change of school, a change of teacher or a long absence in the last couple of years?
Why ask it
Gaps often date from a particular stretch of missed or disrupted teaching, and children rarely know what they missed. If the parent can name the semester, you can look up what was taught then and check those topics first. Naming that stretch takes some of the blame off the child, which is worth saying out loud.
Needs and history
Has your child been assessed for, or diagnosed with, anything that affects how they learn?
Why ask it
Ask it plainly and early, with your reason: you want to plan sessions that fit. Some parents hold this back for fear a tutor will lower expectations or turn the family down. Treat what they tell you as planning information, and do not offer an opinion on a diagnosis, which is outside a tutor's job.
Is there a formal support plan at school, and which accommodations does your child actually use?
Why ask it
What such a plan is called and what it can include depend on the country and the school system, so ask the parent to explain theirs or share the document. The useful part is the gap between what is written and what happens: extra time that is never taken, notes that are never handed over. If accommodations have been approved for a test, run your practice tests the same way.
Separate from this subject, how are their reading and their basic arithmetic?
Why ask it
A science or history problem is sometimes a reading problem, and algebra trouble is often times tables and fractions underneath. Parents usually have a view, even if nobody has asked them. If the answer is shaky, build a quick check of those basics into the first session without making an older child feel tested on little-kid work.
How long can they work on something difficult before they need a break?
Why ask it
This sets the length and the shape of your sessions. For a child who fades after fifteen minutes, an hour needs three or four changes of activity, or it should be two shorter sessions. Compare the parent's estimate with what you see, since some children work longer for a new adult than they do at the kitchen table.
Is there anything about health, sleep, eyesight or hearing that I should plan around?
Why ask it
You are not asking for a medical history, and it helps to say so. You need the practical parts: glasses that get left at school, medication that has worn off by evening, a child who is up at five for swim practice. Those decide the time of day and where you sit.
Who keeps track of what is due and when: your child, you or nobody?
Why ask it
If the parent runs the calendar, ask whether handing it over to the child is part of what they want from you: it uses session time, and it is a different service from teaching the subject. If the answer is nobody, ask to see the planner or the school's online assignment list in the first session. An older student who manages it alone can tell you directly what is coming up in class.
Has your child worked with a tutor, a learning center or extra help at school before, and how did it go?
Why ask it
Find out what was tried, for how long and why it ended. 'She just didn't click with him' deserves a follow-up: was it the person, the method or the timing? A child on their third tutor has heard the opening speech before, so do something visibly different in session one.
What have you tried at home, and what made things better or worse?
Why ask it
Apps, workbooks, rewards, sitting with them every night: most parents have a list. Whatever ended in tears is something not to repeat in your first weeks. Whatever worked, even briefly, is a clue about how this child learns.
Was there a year or a teacher when this subject went well, and what was different?
Why ask it
A good year shows the child can do it, and the child needs to hear that as much as you do. Listen for what changed: a smaller class, a teacher who explained with pictures, a seat at the front. Borrow whatever it was.
Is anyone else helping with this subject at the moment: you, an older sibling, a support teacher?
Why ask it
Three helpers teaching long division three ways is a recipe for confusion. Find out who does what so you can agree on one method, ideally the school's. Whoever is already helping is your likeliest ally for getting practice done between sessions.
The child
How does your child feel about having a tutor?
Why ask it
Relief, embarrassment, anger and indifference each need a different opening. If the parent does not know, suggest they ask before you arrive. Whatever the answer, do not begin the first session by telling a reluctant child that their parents are worried.
What have you told them about me and why I am coming?
Why ask it
Children often hear 'you are failing' when the parent meant 'we found you some help'. Agree on a sentence the parent can use, such as 'she is going to help make math homework quicker'. Check that the child knows the day and time, so the first session is not a surprise.
If I asked your child what the problem is, what would they say?
Why ask it
The parent's version and the child's version are often different problems: 'he doesn't try' against 'the teacher goes too fast'. You will put the same question to the child at the first session, and the comparison is where the useful information sits. A parent who has never asked may do so tonight.
When they hit a problem they cannot do, what happens in the next minute?
Why ask it
Some children guess, some freeze, some ask at once, some go off to sharpen a pencil. Each tells you what to teach besides the content: how to start, how to check, how to ask. Asking about 'the next minute' gets you a description, where 'how do they cope?' gets an adjective.
How do they take getting something wrong in front of another person?
Why ask it
Tutoring is mostly being wrong in front of an adult, with no class of thirty to hide in. A child who crumples needs mistakes treated as ordinary from the first minute, perhaps by you making one on purpose and fixing it. One who shrugs may need the opposite: a reason to care about checking.
Think of a time something finally clicked for your child. What made the difference?
Why ask it
Ask for one real occasion. 'She is a visual learner' is a label, and it tells you less than 'he got fractions the day we cut up a pizza'. It might have been a drawing, a worked example, a video or being left alone to try, and whichever it was is worth trying first in your own subject.
What is your child good at, in school or out of it?
Why ask it
After twenty minutes on what is going wrong, this changes the tone of the call, and parents notice that you asked. A child who draws well can sketch a word problem, and one who likes explaining can teach a step back to you. Name the strength to the child in the first session.
What does your child spend their free time on?
Why ask it
You need two or three specifics to build examples from: a team, a game, a band, a pet. Percentages land better as batting averages or game stats for the right child. The first two minutes of session one also go more easily when you can ask about something that is not school.
Do they warm up quickly to a new adult, or does it take a few meetings?
Why ask it
For a slow-to-warm child, plan a first session that asks for very little talking: work side by side on paper and keep your questions answerable with a nod. Tell the parent not to read a quiet first session as a failed one. A chatty child carries the opposite risk, an hour of pleasant talk and no work.
Goals and progress
If this goes well, what will be different three months from now?
Why ask it
Ask for something you could both see: homework done alone, a specific grade, no more Sunday night arguments. A vague hope such as 'more confident' is fine as a start, so follow with 'and how would you know?'. Write the answer down and read it back in your first progress report.
Is there a particular grade or score you have in mind, and where does that number come from?
Why ask it
Some targets are requirements, such as a cutoff for a course or a program, and some are hopes. You need to know which, and whether the parent has confirmed the requirement with the school. If the number looks out of reach in the time available, say what you think is realistic now, not after eight paid sessions.
Do you want me to work from the current homework, or to go back and rebuild what is missing?
Why ask it
Homework help keeps this week's grades up and leaves the gaps. Rebuilding closes the gaps while this week's grades may not move. Suggest a split and agree what it is, for example the first fifteen minutes on class work and the rest on foundations, because this is where later disagreements with parents tend to start.
What does your child want out of this, and is it the same thing you want?
Why ask it
A parent may want an A while the child wants to stop feeling lost in class. Both are reasonable, and the child's goal is usually the one that gets the practice done. If the parent is unsure, say you will ask at the first session and report back.
How long do you expect tutoring to go on?
Why ask it
Some families picture four sessions before a test and some picture the rest of the school year, and the two need different plans. Offer a review point, perhaps after six sessions, when you both look at the goal and decide whether to continue, change course or stop.
What would make you decide it is not working?
Why ask it
Better to hear the parent's line now than to find it by crossing it. If the answer is 'no change in the grade within a month', you can say honestly whether that fits the size of the gap. Being asked tells the parent they are free to raise doubts early, which is easier on both of you than a sudden cancellation.
How would you like to hear about progress: a message after each session, a monthly summary or a call?
Why ask it
Agree the format and the frequency now, and whether the child will see what you write. Two lines after each session (what you covered, what to practice, one thing that went well) are enough for most parents. Ask what they do not want as well, since some would rather not hear about every bad day.
Logistics
How many sessions a week did you have in mind, and how long should each one be?
Why ask it
Parents usually arrive with a number shaped by budget and the family calendar, so hear theirs before you give yours. Then say what you would suggest for this gap and this age, using what they told you about how long the child can concentrate. If the two are far apart, be plain about what the smaller amount can and cannot be expected to do.
Which day and time can you keep every week, and what else is on your child's schedule that day?
Why ask it
A slot straight after a full school day and two hours of sports practice gets you a tired child, whatever the calendar says. Ask what comes before and after, and whether they will have eaten. Push for the same slot each week, since a tutoring hour that moves around is the first thing to be dropped.
Where would you like sessions to happen, and is there a table away from the television and the rest of the family?
Why ask it
You need a flat surface, decent light and nobody else's noise. A kitchen table within sight of an adult, or a room with the door open, is easier for everyone to be comfortable with than a closed bedroom, so say which you prefer. If the home cannot offer that, suggest a library or another public place.
If we meet online, what will your child be using, and how will I see what they write?
Why ask it
A phone propped on a bed does not work for an hour of math. Ask about the device, the connection and headphones, and settle how the written work reaches you: a second camera, a tablet with a pen, or photos sent as you go. Offer a five-minute test call before the first paid session.
Will you or another adult be home during sessions, and where will you be while we work?
Why ask it
Some tutors make an adult in the house a condition, and an agency, a platform or an insurer may set its own rule, so check yours and state it as your policy. Within earshot but not at the table suits most families, because a parent at the child's shoulder changes how the child works. If they want to watch a whole session, agree on one and tell the child in advance.
Should I set practice between sessions, and who will see that it gets done?
Why ask it
One hour a week goes further with a little practice in between, and with younger children that only happens if an adult owns it. Ask how much is realistic on top of school homework and take the answer at face value: ten honest minutes beats a worksheet that causes a fight. If the answer is none, plan sessions that stand alone.
Who should get my messages, and does your child split time between two homes?
Why ask it
Scheduling goes wrong when one parent books and the other does the driving. Get both names and numbers if both are involved, and ask which home the books live in. Where there are two households, ask how they want updates shared and do not guess.
Can I go through my rate, how I bill and my cancellation terms, so you can tell me if any of it does not work for you?
Why ask it
Say the numbers out loud on the call and send them in writing the same day. Cover a late cancellation, a no-show, your own illness and school holidays. Awkward as it feels, terms heard before the first session are much easier to hold to at the fifth.
How would you like to pay, and is anyone else covering or approving the cost?
Why ask it
Per session, monthly in advance and a prepaid block each suit different families, so offer only what you actually accept. Sometimes a grandparent, the other parent, a school program or an employer benefit is paying, and each may want an invoice in a particular form. Ask how it works in their case before you send the first bill.
Would you like to start with a single trial or assessment session before booking a regular slot?
Why ask it
A first session with no commitment lowers the stakes for parent and child and lets you see the work for yourself. Say in advance what it costs, what you will do in it and what you will send afterwards. End the call with that session in the calendar, not with 'I'll be in touch'.
Is there anything I have not asked about that would help me work with your child?
Why ask it
Count to five before you say anything else. This is where the things that fit no earlier question come out: a loss in the family, a fear of one particular teacher, a child who hates being called by their full name. Thank them for whatever comes and do not try to solve it on the call.
How to run a tutoring intake call
Practical guidance for the conversation itself
Before you pick up the phone
Ask for the paperwork first
When you confirm the call, ask the parent to send a recent graded test, the latest report card and the course name. Reading them beforehand lets you skip half of the School group and spend the time on what paper cannot tell you. If nothing arrives, ask once more as the call ends and move on.
Choose your dozen
A first call with a parent often runs fifteen to twenty minutes, which is room for ten or twelve questions with follow-ups. Take two from each group, then add whichever the subject and age demand: the exam date for a sixteen-year-old, attention span for a seven-year-old. Everything else can go in a short written form or wait for the first session.
Decide what would make you say no
Not every family is a fit. Work out in advance which answers mean you should decline or refer on: a subject or level you do not teach well, a deadline too close for the goal, needs that call for a specialist. Saying so on the intake call is kinder than discovering it in week four.
Have your terms written down
Rate, session length, billing, cancellation and where you will and will not work should exist as a document before the call, not be invented during it. Then the questions under Logistics become a matter of reading out and checking, and you can send the same page afterwards.
During the conversation
Let the parent tell the story first
Open with a question from Why now and then stay quiet for a couple of minutes. Most parents have been carrying this for a while and will cover several of your later questions unprompted. Tick those off as they go, so you do not ask for something you were just told.
Ask about last night, not about usually
'How is homework?' gets 'a nightmare'. 'What happened with last night's homework?' gets who sat where, how long it took and where it broke down. Whenever a parent answers with an adjective, ask for the most recent evening it was true.
Talk as if the child can hear
The child may be listening from the next room, or may be told later what was said. Phrase things as you would if they were on the line, and make sure the parent has talked about strengths before the call ends. If the child joins a video call, speak to them directly and keep the questions about them light.
Leave money until the picture is clear, then be plain
Terms land better once the parent has heard that you understand the problem. When you reach Logistics, say the numbers without apology and without discounting on the spot. If the family needs something different, such as shorter sessions or a fixed block, offer it as an option you already have.
Say back what you heard
Before hanging up, give a two-sentence summary: what the problem seems to be, and what you would do in the first three sessions. Parents correct a summary far more readily than they volunteer a missing fact. It is also the moment many of them decide whether to book.
From the call to the first session
Send a written recap the same day
Put the goal, the review point, the slot, the place and your terms in one message and ask the parent to reply to confirm. This is the record you will both go back to when memories differ. Keep it short enough to read on a phone.
Turn the answers into a first-session plan
Use the graded work and the parent's account to pick two or three things to check, starting with something the child can already do. Build one activity on an interest the parent mentioned. Leave ten minutes to put the child's own version of the problem beside the parent's.
Treat what you were told as private
Parents share grades, diagnoses and family circumstances on these calls. Keep your notes somewhere secure and do not pass them on, to the teacher included, unless the parent has agreed. If you work through an agency or a platform, ask what its rules are on storing and sharing family information, and ask the same about anything the school sends you. A worry about a child's safety is a different matter: who you are expected to tell depends on where you work and who you work for, so find that out before your first session, not during one.
Report against the goal they gave you
In your first update, quote the parent's own answer about what would be different in three months and say where things stand against it. That keeps both of you honest about whether the sessions are doing the job they were booked for.
What goes wrong at intake
Promising a grade
A parent under pressure may ask you to commit to a result. You control the teaching, not the test, the child's week or the marking. Describe what you will work on and how you will show progress, and decline to name a grade as a promise.
Taking the parent's theory as the finding
'She is just lazy' and 'he has never been a math person' are theories, and the graded work may tell a different story. Note them, then look at what the child actually wrote. Your first report can set what you saw beside what you were told.
Running it as an interrogation
Every question on this page fired in order would exhaust any parent. Treat the list as a menu. If a parent is short of time, ask the first three under Why now, get a graded test, book a trial session and collect the rest by form or as you go.
Skipping the awkward ones
A diagnosis, how the child feels about being tutored and what a late cancellation costs are the easiest questions to leave out and the ones that cause trouble when they surface in week five. Give a reason as you ask ('so I can plan sessions that suit her') and most parents answer without difficulty.
Starting before the terms are agreed
A first session held on goodwill, with the rate and the cancellation policy still vague, sets the pattern for everything after it. Agree them in writing first, even with a friend's family, and especially with a friend's family.