20 Questions

Questions to Ask a Surrogate

Essential questions to ask a potential surrogate to understand their experience, expectations, and ensure a good match for your surrogacy journey.

1

What motivated you to become a surrogate?

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Why this works

Critical for understanding their reasons for surrogacy and whether their motivations align with your expectations and values.

2

What is your experience with pregnancy and childbirth?

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Why this works

Essential for understanding their pregnancy history and whether they have the experience needed for a successful surrogacy.

3

What are your expectations for the surrogacy process?

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Why this works

Important for understanding what they expect from the relationship and whether your expectations align.

4

What are your thoughts on communication and updates during pregnancy?

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Why this works

Critical for understanding how you'll stay in touch and whether you can agree on communication preferences.

5

What are your thoughts on medical decisions and who should make them?

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Why this works

Essential for understanding how medical decisions will be handled and whether you can agree on decision-making processes.

6

What are your thoughts on the birth plan and delivery preferences?

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Why this works

Important for understanding their preferences for delivery and whether you can agree on the birth plan.

7

What are your thoughts on post-birth contact and relationship?

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Why this works

Critical for understanding what relationship you'll have after the birth and whether your expectations align.

8

What are your thoughts on compensation and financial arrangements?

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Why this works

Essential for understanding their expectations for compensation and whether you can agree on financial terms.

9

What are your thoughts on legal arrangements and contracts?

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Why this works

Important for understanding their approach to legal agreements and whether you can work together on contracts.

10

What are the most important factors in choosing a surrogate?

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Why this works

Critical for understanding what they consider most important in a surrogacy relationship and whether you share similar values.

11

What are the most common challenges in surrogacy relationships?

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Why this works

Essential for understanding common problems and how they approach conflict resolution and relationship management.

12

What are the most important things to consider when building a surrogacy relationship?

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Why this works

Important for understanding what to focus on when building a successful surrogacy relationship and how to work together.

13

What are the most important things to consider when managing expectations?

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Why this works

Critical for understanding what to focus on when managing expectations and how to ensure everyone is on the same page.

14

What are the most important things to consider when handling conflicts?

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Why this works

Essential for understanding what to focus on when dealing with conflicts and how to resolve issues constructively.

15

What are the most important things to consider when supporting each other?

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Why this works

Important for understanding what to focus on when supporting each other and how to build a positive relationship.

16

What are the most important things to consider when planning for the future?

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Why this works

Critical for understanding what to focus on when planning for the future and how to ensure long-term success.

17

What are the most important things to consider when building trust?

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Why this works

Essential for understanding what to focus on when building trust and how to establish a strong foundation.

18

What are the most important things to consider when communicating effectively?

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Why this works

Important for understanding what to focus on when communicating and how to ensure clear, open communication.

19

What are the most important things to consider when managing stress?

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Why this works

Critical for understanding what to focus on when managing stress and how to support each other during difficult times.

20

What are the most important things to consider when building a successful surrogacy?

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Why this works

Essential for understanding what to focus on when building a successful surrogacy and how to ensure a positive experience for everyone.

Building a Successful Surrogacy Relationship

Expert tips and techniques for getting the most out of these questions.

Before Your Meeting

Understand Your Needs

Clearly identify what you need from a surrogacy relationship. This will help you ask the right questions and find a good match.

Prepare Your Questions

Don't rely on spontaneous questions. Prepare a list of thoughtful questions that cover all important aspects of surrogacy.

During Your Meeting

Key Topics to Cover

1
Surrogacy motivations and experience
2
Pregnancy and childbirth history
3
Communication and relationship expectations
4
Medical and legal considerations
5
Financial and compensation arrangements

Common Mistakes

Don't Rush the Decision

Take time to get to know each other and ensure compatibility. This is a long-term relationship that deserves careful consideration.

Don't Ignore Red Flags

Pay attention to warning signs like poor communication, unrealistic expectations, or unwillingness to compromise.

Building Success

Surrogacy Success Plan

1
Step 1: Ask the right questions
2
Step 2: Look for compatibility and shared values
3
Step 3: Set clear expectations and boundaries
4
Step 4: Communicate openly and regularly
5
Step 5: Build trust and support each other

Additional Resources

Surrogacy agency directories
Legal and medical resources
Surrogacy support groups
Relationship building strategies

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