Questions to Ask While High
Silly, low-stakes questions for a group that is high and has run out of things to say. Nothing here requires memory, argument or a sad answer, and most of them are funnier the less anyone thinks first.
The questions
Open any question for the note
What is the last thing you said that you would like to take back?
Why ask it
Almost everyone has one from the past ten minutes, which makes this an opener with no preparation cost. It also gives the group permission to laugh at itself rather than at one person.
If this room had a laugh track, when would it have gone off in the last ten minutes?
Why ask it
Points the joke at the recent past, which everyone shares, so nobody has to invent anything. It tends to restart a conversation that has stalled without dragging it anywhere heavy.
If snacks were money right now, what would be worth the most?
Why ask it
Reliably produces an argument about exchange rates that nobody wants to win. It also usually ends with someone going to get the snack in question, which is the correct outcome.
What food would be improved by being served the size of a car?
Why ask it
The comedy is in the defense, not the choice, so follow up by asking how it would be eaten and stored. Answers that are already big, like a cake, get less funny, so push for something small.
Which object in this room would be most dangerous if it could move on its own?
Why ask it
Turns the space you are sitting in into the joke and gets everyone looking around. Expect the lamp, and expect at least one person to become genuinely uneasy about the lamp.
If you could make one sound illegal, which one goes?
Why ask it
Gets specific fast, and the answers are usually a shared irritation nobody has said aloud before. Anyone who names a sound in the room right now has won.
What is the worst possible name for a hospital?
Why ask it
Wrong-answer questions like this are easier than clever ones, because there is no risk in a bad attempt. Repeat the best one for the rest of the night and it becomes a running joke.
If your fridge could talk, what would it say about you?
Why ask it
A confession disguised as a joke, which is why it gets honest answers about how someone actually lives. Keep it playful; if a reply lands too close to something real, move on rather than dig.
If you had to swap your hands for two kitchen tools, which do you pick?
Why ask it
The good part is watching people work out the practical consequences of a whisk. It also produces immediate demonstrations, which is where most of the laughing comes from.
Which fictional character would be the worst person to live with?
Why ask it
More productive than asking for the best, because complaints are specific and praise is vague. The best answers are heroes rather than villains, so nudge people away from the obvious monsters.
If you had to fight one animal to keep your job, which one and how does it go?
Why ask it
An old bar argument that still works, mostly because everyone overestimates themselves against a goose. Ask for the plan, not just the animal, and the plan will be the funny part.
Which one of us goes first in a horror movie, and be honest?
Why ask it
Only ask this with people who like each other, since the whole thing runs on affectionate accuracy. Have everyone answer about themselves first, then compare, which takes the sting out of it.
If your life had a loading screen with a tip on it, what would the tip say?
Why ask it
Produces something between a joke and a genuinely useful piece of self-knowledge. If someone gives a real answer instead of a funny one, that is usually the best one of the night.
What is a rule everyone follows that you have quietly decided you are done with?
Why ask it
Aim for small social rules, not laws: thank-you notes, standing for a photo, replying to a group chat. If the answers turn into actual grievances, steer back to something like cutlery.
What is the stupidest injury you have ever had?
Why ask it
Everyone has one and nobody has to be brave to tell it, so it works even with people who have just met. Ask what they told the doctor, because the cover story is generally better than the injury.
What is the dumbest thing you have ever cried about?
Why ask it
Works because it is a small, safe admission rather than a real one, and it makes the whole group more open. If somebody's answer is not actually dumb, let them tell it properly and stop steering.
What is the most unhinged thing in your camera roll right now?
Why ask it
Evidence-based, so it moves the room from talking to showing. Let people pick their own photo and never scroll through somebody else's phone looking for a better one.
If you had to give a twenty-minute talk with no notes starting now, what is the topic?
Why ask it
Reveals the thing a person actually knows too much about, which is often not what you would guess. Follow it up by asking for the first slide.
What are you weirdly good at that has never once been useful?
Why ask it
The uselessness is what makes people answer honestly, since there is nothing to brag about. Half the time it turns into a demonstration, which is the point.
If today had a smell, what would it be?
Why ask it
A soft closer that gets an odd, specific answer and does not demand another story. It also quietly checks in on how everyone's day actually went.
Keeping it light
Practical guidance for the conversation itself
How to run the room
Ask, then wait
Responses come slower in this state and the first reply is rarely the best one. Filling the pause with a second question kills the answer that was on its way.
Take the wrong answer seriously
The comedy is in the follow-up: how would that work, where would you keep it, what happens on a Tuesday. Treating an absurd answer as a real proposal is most of the technique here.
Skip anything that needs recall
Questions that depend on remembering names, dates or plots frustrate people rather than entertaining them. Anything answerable from the room or from a feeling works better.
Questions to leave alone tonight
- Anything about someone's health, money or family situation, which can turn sharply and will not resolve tonight.
- Arguments with a right answer, which end with somebody looking things up and everybody losing interest.
- Questions aimed at one person's expense, however affectionately meant, if that person is quiet already.
- Requests for secrets or confessions, which feel fine at the time and land badly tomorrow.
- Anything that invites a decision about a relationship, a job or a move.
- Follow-ups that press for why, when someone has given a short answer on purpose.
Looking after the group
Notice the person who has gone quiet
Anxiety here often shows up as withdrawal rather than distress. Water, something familiar on the television, a change of room and no attention on them usually helps more than asking if they are all right repeatedly.
Nothing gets recorded
Filming people in this state, even for a joke, is how a good night turns into a bad group chat the next day. Phones face down.
Sort out getting home before you start
Decide who is staying, who is walking and who is not driving while everyone is still capable of deciding it. It removes the one thing that can make the end of the evening stressful.