Questions to Ask Your Midwife
Questions for antenatal appointments: how your care is organized, who will be with you in labor, what happens if plans change, and what support follows the birth.
The questions
Open any question for the note
Will you be the midwife at my birth, or will it be whoever is on shift?
Why ask it
Worth settling early, because much of what you agree with one midwife will be carried out by someone else if the service does not offer continuity of carer.
How many appointments will I have, and what happens at each one?
Why ask it
Gives you the shape of the coming months and shows where scans, blood tests and decisions fall.
How do I reach you between appointments, and who answers out of hours?
Why ask it
You need the number and the hours before you need them. Also ask what counts as a reason to call, so you are not weighing that up at 3am.
What tests and screenings will you offer, and which are optional?
Why ask it
Most antenatal screening is a choice. Knowing which items are routine and which are decisions means you are not choosing on the spot in a short appointment.
At what point would a doctor become involved, and who decides?
Why ask it
Clarifies the referral threshold. Ask which findings would move your care to an obstetric team, and whether that is a recommendation or a requirement.
Where can I give birth with this service, and what would rule an option out?
Why ask it
Eligibility for a home birth or a midwife-led unit depends on specifics that can change during pregnancy. Ask what would change the recommendation.
What monitoring do you use in labor, and how often?
Why ask it
Listening intermittently and monitoring continuously lead to quite different labors in terms of how much you can move. Ask what would prompt a switch.
What pain relief can you provide yourself, and what needs someone else?
Why ask it
Some options depend on an anesthetist or a particular unit. Knowing which are available where you plan to give birth avoids a late surprise.
How much can I move around and choose positions in labor?
Why ask it
Practice varies more than policy does. Ask what usually happens in the room where you will actually be.
Who else will be in the room, and how many people can I bring?
Why ask it
Numbers are often set by the unit rather than the midwife, and student attendance is usually optional. Worth confirming before you plan.
What would make you recommend an intervention, and how would you explain it at the time?
Why ask it
Ask how much time you would have to consider it, and what happens if you want to wait or to decline.
What happens if I need to transfer to hospital during labor?
Why ask it
Cover the practical detail: who calls, how long it takes, whether your midwife comes with you, and where your partner goes.
What are you checking for in me and the baby at each stage?
Why ask it
Ask what each check is looking for, not only what the reading was. Appointments and checks often become more frequent late in pregnancy as a matter of routine rather than because something is wrong.
What is your usual practice for delivering the placenta and clamping the cord?
Why ask it
These are decided in the minutes after birth, when you are least able to discuss them. It is a short conversation to have now instead.
What does the first hour after birth look like if everything is straightforward?
Why ask it
Gives you a picture to hold, and it is the moment to say what matters to you: skin to skin, who cuts the cord, weighing later rather than immediately.
How many postnatal visits will I have, and what do you check?
Why ask it
Postnatal contact varies widely between services. Ask when your care is handed over to a health visitor or family doctor, and how that is arranged.
What feeding support can you offer, and who do you refer to?
Why ask it
Ask specifically about the first week, which is when most difficulties happen and when help is hardest to arrange at short notice.
How will you ask about how I'm coping emotionally after the birth?
Why ask it
Mood is asked about routinely in most services. Knowing when and how makes it easier to give an honest answer rather than a polite one.
How would you accommodate a specific religious, cultural or personal request?
Why ask it
Name the request rather than asking in general. The answer tells you whether it is routine, needs arranging in advance, or is not possible where you plan to give birth.
What do you need to know about my health, history and preferences?
Why ask it
Turns the conversation around. What they ask about shows what they consider relevant, and it is the moment to raise a previous birth, anxiety, or anything in your notes you want discussed.
Getting clear answers from your midwife
Practical guidance for the conversation itself
Before the appointment
Write the questions down and bring the list
Appointments are short and often running late. A written list is the difference between three answers and one.
Ask about local practice, not general reassurance
How often this happens in this unit, how long a transfer usually takes, who would be present. If your midwife does not know, ask who does.
Quote what worried you
If you have read something unsettling, say what it was. A specific concern can be addressed; a general one usually gets a general answer.
Labor and afterwards
Put the two or three things that matter most at the top
Long birth plans are rarely read in full by whoever is on shift. A short list of clearly stated priorities is more likely to be followed.
Agree who speaks for you
If you are occupied or unwell, someone should know your preferences well enough to answer on your behalf. Say who that person is, and tell them.
Ask what the next option is
Most plans are written for a straightforward labor. Knowing the alternative in advance makes a change of plan feel less like something going wrong.
Keeping your own notes
- Write down the answer rather than the reassurance: dates, numbers, names.
- Note who told you what. Care is often shared between several midwives and a doctor.
- If you decline something, ask for the reasoning to be explained and recorded.
- Keep a short record of your own alongside the clinical notes, so you can track what was said and when.
- Bring your partner or a friend to one appointment; a second person remembers different things.