Questions to Ask Parents When Babysitting

The questions

Open any question to see why it works.

1. 1

   What time do you expect to be back, and how will you tell me if that changes?

   A stated time sets your own evening and tells you whether bedtime is your job or theirs. Agree now what happens if they are late, because a sitter waiting past midnight with no message is the most common complaint on both sides.

2. 2

   What is the best number to reach you on tonight, and will you have it with you?

   Ask for both parents' numbers and check the phone is not the one plugged in upstairs. If they are somewhere with no signal, such as a cinema or a wedding reception, you need to know that before you need them.

3. 3

   Who is the backup adult if I cannot reach either of you?

   This should be a named person with a number, ideally one who lives close by. It also tells the neighbor or grandparent that they may be called, which matters, since a stranger phoning at ten at night is otherwise ignored.

4. 4

   Any allergies or things they cannot have, and what happens if one is triggered?

   Get the reaction described, not only the allergen, along with where any medication is kept and whether you are expected to use it. Ask about non-food triggers too, such as pets, plasters, or a particular soap.

5. 5

   Is there any medicine to give tonight? What, how much, at what time, and when was the last dose?

   The last dose is the part people forget to mention and the part that determines whether the next one is safe. Write the time down when you give anything, because it is the first thing a parent asks on returning.

6. 6

   What are they eating, and what are they allowed to ask for after that?

   Naming the after-dinner boundary in advance is what stops a negotiation later, since children will accurately report that they are sometimes allowed ice cream. Ask about drinks near bedtime as well, which often has a rule attached.

7. 7

   Talk me through bedtime in order, from bath to lights out.

   Routine is what makes bedtime possible for someone the child barely knows, and the order matters more than the content. Ask for the specific words or songs used, and which toy has to be in the bed.

8. 8

   What do you do when they get out of bed or call for you?

   Every household has a settled approach, whether that is returning the child silently, sitting outside the door, or allowing one drink of water. Doing it differently from the parents is what turns one appearance into six.

9. 9

   What usually helps with the goodbye at the door?

   Parents know whether their child does better with a long farewell or a quick one, and whether a distraction is set up in advance. A drawn-out departure with a crying child is often the parents' instinct and the wrong move.

10. 10

    What are the screen rules, and how do I tell when I am being played?

    Ask for the specific limit and the specific device, since children negotiate confidently and inaccurately about this more than anything else. A useful follow-up is what they are allowed to watch, not just for how long.

11. 11

    Which rooms, stairs, or things are off limits?

    Home offices, a stair gate that has to be shut, a garage, a hot tub, and any room with medication or tools all count. Parents often assume this is obvious because they have lived around it for years.

12. 12

    How do the doors and alarm work, and do you want me answering the door?

    Learn the lock before it is dark and someone is knocking. Most families prefer that a sitter does not open the door at all unless it was expected, and deliveries are the main reason it comes up.

13. 13

    Is there a pet, and what does it need from me?

    Sitters get caught out by a dog that needs a late walk, a cat that must not get out of the front door, or an animal that behaves differently around a stranger. Ask whether it is allowed in the children's rooms.

14. 14

    What do you want me to text about, and what can wait until you are home?

    The gap between a parent who wants a photo at bedtime and one who wants silence unless something is wrong is wide. Setting the threshold now means a message from you is informative rather than alarming.

15. 15

    If someone gets hurt or is unwell, what do you want me to do first?

    You want an explicit order of operations, including when to call emergency services before calling them. Ask where the first aid kit is and whether there is written consent for treatment if they cannot be reached.

16. 16

    Is there anyone who should not come in or collect the children?

    This is an awkward question that occasionally matters a great deal, in separated families and in households with a restricted contact arrangement. Asking it plainly, once, is better than guessing at the door.

17. 17

    What has caught out other sitters here?

    Parents will often volunteer the specific thing they have forgotten to mention: a boiler switch, a door that locks behind you, a child who hides, a smoke alarm that goes off if you use the toaster.

18. 18

    What am I welcome to do once they are asleep: kitchen, television, homework, guests?

    Assume nothing is allowed until it is offered, particularly having anyone else in the house, which is the fastest way for a sitter to lose a job. Asking about food also spares you a hungry evening.

19. 19

    How is the rate worked out, and how do you want to pay?

    Settle the hourly rate, how part hours are handled, and whether the method is cash, transfer, or an app before the door closes. The same conversation at midnight, with both of you tired, is far worse.

20. 20

    How will I get home, and does that change if you are late?

    Sort the lift or the taxi and who pays for it now. This is the arrangement most often left implied, and it is the reason sitters end up walking home at one in the morning without saying anything about it.