Secret Santa Questions to Ask
Questions to ask for Secret Santa once you've drawn a name and have no idea what to buy. They run from favourites and daily habits through the kind of gift the person would choose, what to steer clear of and the presents they still remember, and end with the rules to settle with the organiser. Every question has a note on what to do with the answer, and the guide below covers how to ask without giving yourself away.
Want questions from the whole vault instead? Try the random question generator.
The questions
Each question, and why to ask it
Favourites
Are you a sweet or a savoury person, and what's the snack you always reach for?
Why ask it
Get the exact one, down to the flavour: 'chocolate' covers both the person who wants a dark bar with sea salt and the one who wants a bag of buttons. On a low budget, a generous amount of the named snack is a whole gift without anything added.
What do you drink through the day: coffee, tea, energy drinks, something else?
Why ask it
A drink gets used up, and there is a version of it at every budget. Ask for the detail, whether that's loose leaf or bags, oat milk or one brand of cola: 'likes coffee' leads to a generic gift set, while 'drinks decaf' tells you which bag of beans to buy.
What's a hobby you're actually doing right now, rather than one you used to do?
Why ask it
People talk warmly about running, baking or painting long after they've stopped, and kit for a lapsed hobby tends to end up in a cupboard. If the answer is current, ask what they've run out of or keep borrowing.
What's something small you buy for yourself regularly?
Why ask it
A repeat purchase gives you a preference and a price in one answer, and the price is often inside a Secret Santa budget already. If they name a particular chocolate, a pen or a brand of socks, buy that, or a slightly better version of it.
What are you reading, watching or playing at the moment?
Why ask it
Asking about now, not all-time favourites, keeps you from buying for a taste they had five years ago. Follow up with what's next on their list, so you don't hand over the book they finished last month.
What colours do you like, and is there one you'd never own?
Why ask it
Colour is what makes a plain notebook, mug or scarf look chosen for them. Pay more attention to the second half: a useful thing in a colour they dislike still goes in a drawer.
Which shop could you happily lose an hour in?
Why ask it
It's the favourite-shop question put in a way people enjoy answering, and it gives you two routes: something from that shop, or a gift card for it. A bookshop, a garden centre and a hardware store describe three quite different people.
Where do you like to eat out or order in from?
Why ask it
A voucher for the place they already go on a Friday is unlikely to sit unused. The answer also names a cuisine, which helps if you'd rather put together a small food parcel: chilli oil for the noodle regular, good dried pasta for the Italian one.
What scents do you like, and do any give you a headache?
Why ask it
Candles, hand cream and bath things are what people grab when they're stuck, and scent is where those gifts go wrong. Get a family, such as citrus, woody, vanilla or clean linen, and if they say strong smells bother them, cross the whole aisle off.
What do you listen to most: music, podcasts or audiobooks?
Why ask it
The format matters as much as the taste. A podcast fan may want the host's book, a record collector has a list of gaps, and someone who works in silence has just saved you from buying a speaker.
Is there a team, band, show or character you'd happily own something branded with?
Why ask it
A branded mug or pair of socks delights a real fan and embarrasses everybody else, with very little in between. Treat a hesitant 'maybe' as a no.
Do you have a favourite animal?
Why ask it
It sounds like a question for a child, and plenty of adults answer it straight away. An animal gives a small budget a theme: socks, a mug, an enamel pin or a card with the right creature on it. Check it's a liking and not a collection they're tired of people adding to.
Which festive food or treat do you look forward to all year?
Why ask it
Seasonal food has a deadline built in, so it gets eaten in December instead of sitting on a shelf. It's a good fallback for a name you know nothing else about, once you've checked for allergies.
Daily life
What's on your desk that you use every day?
Why ask it
Desk items are visible, low-risk and easy to upgrade by one notch. If they turn out to be particular about their setup, buy something that sits beside it and leave the thing itself alone.
How do you get to work, and what do you always have with you?
Why ask it
A commute has its own kit: a travel cup for the driver, lights or gloves for the cyclist, a paperback or a decent umbrella for the train. Whatever they carry daily and grumble about is your shortlist.
Are you usually too cold, too warm or neither?
Why ask it
It sounds like small talk and it sorts a whole category. The colleague who sits in a coat will use hand warmers, thick socks or a blanket every day, and the one with the window open will not.
Do you write things down on paper or keep everything on your phone?
Why ask it
Stationery is cheap and looks considered, which is why so much of it changes hands in December, and it's wasted on anyone who hasn't held a pen since school. Paper people often have firm views on lined versus dotted pages, so ask one more question before buying.
What does a good night in look like for you?
Why ask it
The answer names a set of props, whether that's a film and popcorn, a long bath, a jigsaw or a controller. Buy for the evening they described and the gift arrives with an occasion attached.
Do you cook or bake, and what do you make most?
Why ask it
Kitchen gifts only suit people who are in the kitchen by choice. For a keen cook, pick an ingredient they'd use up, such as good vanilla, a spice blend or flaky salt, since they will already have opinions about tools.
Are you a plant person, or does everything green die on you?
Why ask it
A plant is a small responsibility, and the recipient has no chance to turn it down. Self-described plant killers will tell you so cheerfully, and for them dried flowers are as leafy as it should get.
Do you have a pet, and what are they like?
Why ask it
A present for the dog or cat is a present for the owner, and it saves you guessing the owner's taste. Find out the animal's size, and whether it destroys toys or ignores them, before you choose. Leave edible treats alone unless the owner says what the animal can have.
Do you collect anything, or keep adding to something?
Why ask it
Collectors are easy to buy for and easy to get wrong, because they already own the obvious pieces. Ask what's missing, and if the missing piece is over budget, buy something that stores or shows off the collection.
What would you like to have a go at next year?
Why ask it
A beginner's version of the thing suits a small budget: a starter set of watercolours, yarn and a pair of needles, a phrasebook, a packet of seeds. Choose something they can begin with what's in the parcel, because a gift that needs a course booked first turns into a chore.
Is there a trip, event or project coming up that you're getting ready for?
Why ask it
A gift tied to something in the diary gets used on a known date: a guidebook, a set of travel bottles, a decent brush for the room they're repainting. It also shows you listened, which counts for a lot in a present this small.
What's something worn out at home that you haven't replaced yet?
Why ask it
Worn-out things are unwritten wish lists: a chipped mug, a fraying charging cable, the umbrella that broke in October. Replace it with a slightly better one and the gift is in use by the end of the week.
Gift style
If someone handed you the budget in cash, where would you spend it?
Why ask it
Naming the amount removes the polite guessing. Once people know the figure they tend to say exactly where it would go, and it is often somewhere that hadn't occurred to you.
Do you prefer something you'll use up, or something you'll keep?
Why ask it
The two fail in different ways: one runs out, the other has to be lived with. Anyone in a small flat, a shared house or the middle of a clear-out will say use up, which is worth hearing before you buy an ornament.
One nice thing, or a few small ones?
Why ask it
This settles the shape of the gift before its contents. A few small things suit someone who enjoys the unwrapping, and one good thing suits someone who dislikes clutter. If they shrug, go for one: a parcel padded out with filler is easy to spot.
Funny or useful: which would you rather unwrap?
Why ask it
A joke present gets one laugh and then needs somewhere to live. Someone who says useful and means it will not enjoy being handed a gag in front of the team, however well it goes down in the room.
What's something you'd never buy for yourself but would happily be given?
Why ask it
It names the things people feel faintly silly paying for: expensive chocolate, a proper notebook, one good bath thing. If they laugh while answering, take that answer seriously, because it is often the one they mean.
Is there anything on a wish list that falls inside the budget?
Why ask it
Wish lists exist, but people feel awkward pointing at them unprompted. Mentioning the budget makes the question easy to answer without anyone appearing to angle for something expensive.
What have you had your eye on but keep talking yourself out of?
Why ask it
This catches the things that never reach a wish list because they feel like an indulgence. If it's over the limit, look for a smaller piece of the same idea: the refill, the travel size, the paperback instead of the hardback.
How do you feel about gift cards: handy, or a bit of a cop-out?
Why ask it
Opinions split sharply, and givers tend to assume everyone shares theirs. If they like them, ask which shop or app, since a card for somewhere they never go is cash with an errand attached.
Would you enjoy something handmade or home-baked?
Why ask it
Ask before you give up an evening to it. One person treasures a jar of homemade fudge and another quietly wonders whose kitchen it came from, and you want to know which before the icing goes on.
Would you rather be given something to do than something to own?
Why ask it
At a small budget that means a cinema ticket, a coffee on you, a pass for the climbing wall or a taster class. It suits people who say they have enough stuff, and it fails if it needs a date you'd have to fix on their behalf.
Would a donation to a cause you care about feel like a real gift?
Why ask it
Only do this on a clear yes, and give to the charity they name, never one you picked. For some people it's the best present going and for others it reads as being handed nothing, and both reactions are fair.
Are socks, a scarf or a woolly hat welcome, or do you have enough?
Why ask it
These are the clothes that need no exact size and little guessing about fit, which makes them safer than a jumper. A yes plus a favourite colour is a finished gift idea.
Do you like a total surprise, or would you rather drop a hint?
Why ask it
For some the mystery is the whole point, and being asked for a list spoils it. Others dread unwrapping an unknown in front of colleagues, and letting them give one hint means they can relax about the day.
No-gos
Any allergies, or anything you don't eat or drink?
Why ask it
Not optional if food is anywhere in your plan. Ask plainly, cover nuts, dairy, alcohol and anything they avoid for religious reasons, and take the answer without asking why. For anyone who names an allergy, buy something sealed with an ingredients label and skip the home baking.
Would a bottle of something be welcome, or should I leave alcohol out?
Why ask it
Phrase it as a choice so that no is as easy to say as yes, and take either without a follow-up. Some workplaces have their own rule about alcohol as a gift, so check with the organiser as well. In a school exchange, or any draw with under-18s in it, leave this question out.
Is there anything you'd rather not receive at all?
Why ask it
Permission to say no is what makes this useful. Scented candles, novelty mugs and joke gifts are regular candidates for the charity shop bag, and people will say so when asked directly.
What do you already own far too many of?
Why ask it
Mugs, tote bags, water bottles and notebooks pile up because they are what everybody buys when stuck. Hearing about the surplus crosses off the lazy options and pushes you toward something they would notice.
Are you sensitive to anything, such as fragrance, wool or certain metals?
Why ask it
Put this to them before buying hand cream, a bath set, a scarf or a pair of earrings. People rarely mention a sensitivity unprompted, and an itchy gift is one they have to thank you for and then give away.
Is there anything you avoid on principle, such as leather, single-use plastic or a particular brand?
Why ask it
Vegans, people cutting down on waste and people boycotting a company each have a short, firm list. It takes ten seconds to ask, and it saves you handing over the one thing they'd feel bad keeping and bad throwing away.
Is there anything you're cutting back on at the moment?
Why ask it
Sugar, caffeine, spending, clutter: plenty of people start January early. A tin of biscuits for someone who has just given them up is a small unkindness however well meant, so ask once, lightly, and buy around whatever they say.
Do you celebrate Christmas, or would you rather the gift wasn't festive?
Why ask it
Not everyone in a draw marks the holiday, and for some people December is a hard month. A plain, good gift in ordinary paper works for all of them, where a reindeer jumper works for a few.
Past gifts
What's the best Secret Santa gift you've been given, and what made it work?
Why ask it
A real object with a reason attached shows their taste more quickly than a list of preferences. Listen for whether the reason was the item itself or the thought behind it, because those lead to different purchases.
What's the worst Secret Santa present you've had, and what made it miss?
Why ask it
People are franker and funnier about failures, and the failure names the trap: too generic, too personal, obviously bought that morning. Laugh along and don't ask who gave it, particularly if that person might still be in the group.
What present from years back are you still using?
Why ask it
Most presents don't last, so one that did shows what earns a place in their life. Note the type, practical, sentimental or simply well made, and buy in that vein instead of copying the item.
What's the best present you've ever given someone else?
Why ask it
People describe the gift they're proudest of in terms of what they think a present is for: a surprise, a problem solved, proof of being listened to. Whichever one they stress is the standard to shop to.
What present did you want most as a child?
Why ask it
Nostalgia is cheap to buy: retro sweets, a yo-yo, a pocket version of the board game, a sticker book. It's also a question you can put to a whole table, so nobody can tell whose answer you were after.
The exchange
What's the spending limit, and is it a ceiling or a target?
Why ask it
Put this to the organiser before you ask your recipient anything. Going well over embarrasses the person who kept to the figure as surely as going under does, so find out whether a little above is tolerated or frowned on.
Are we drawing names out of a hat or using an app?
Why ask it
A hat needs everyone in one room, and a redraw whenever somebody picks their own name. If the group uses a website or an app instead, look at whether it has wish lists or a way to send your recipient a question without your name on it.
When and where are the gifts being handed over?
Why ask it
The date is your ordering deadline, and the place decides what is practical: nothing fragile for a crowded restaurant table, nothing that melts for a party beside a radiator. Check as well what happens for anyone working remotely or away that week.
Do gifts get opened in front of the group, or handed over quietly?
Why ask it
The format changes what you should buy. Opened in a circle, the gift has an audience, so nothing private and nothing that needs explaining. Handed over at a desk, it can be quieter and more personal.
Do we find out who bought for whom, or does it stay secret?
Why ask it
A reveal means you can write the note in your own voice and be thanked in person. If the giver is never named, the gift has to explain itself, and a private joke between the two of you gives the game away.
Is there a theme, or any rule about what counts?
Why ask it
Some groups go handmade only, second-hand only, nothing edible or nothing jokey, and the rule often lives in one person's head. Finding out after you've bought is how the one off-theme parcel in the pile becomes yours.
Could everyone fill in a short wish list before names are drawn?
Why ask it
Suggest it to whoever is organising, because it helps every giver at once and protects the secret: everybody answers the same form. Five questions are enough: a snack, a drink, a hobby, one thing to avoid and any allergies.
What happens if somebody is off sick or forgets on the day?
Why ask it
Sooner or later a group gets one of these, and the fix is cheap if it's agreed beforehand: a spare wrapped gift in the organiser's drawer, or a rule that late presents arrive within the week. Without a plan, one person sits watching the rest unwrap.
Getting the Information Without Giving Yourself Away
Practical guidance for the conversation itself
Which Questions to Pick
- For a sign-up form, five is plenty: a snack, a drink, a hobby, one thing to avoid and any allergies. A longer form tends to get skipped, or answered with "anything is fine".
- For a colleague you hardly know, stay in Favourites and No-gos. Those can be asked across a desk without sounding like an interview.
- Daily life questions work best dropped into conversation over a week or so. Asked back to back they sound like a survey.
- For family and close friends, skip what you already know and go to Gift style and Past gifts, where the answers can still surprise you.
- The questions under The exchange go to the organiser or the group chat, not to your recipient, and are best settled before anyone starts shopping.
- For a school or youth group draw, leave out the alcohol question and let the adults set the budget.
How to Ask
Use the organiser rather than asking directly
One shared form with four or five of these questions, filled in by everybody, beats a private interrogation. It also means nobody works out who drew whom from the pattern of questions.
Check what the app offers
If names were drawn on a website or in an app, see whether it has wish lists or lets you send your recipient a question without your name attached. Not all of them do, so look before you start asking around.
If you must ask directly, ask several people
Put the same question to three colleagues in the same conversation. Asking one person about their tea preferences in December is not subtle.
Ask two weeks out, not two days
Many of the useful answers, a worn-out item or something on a wish list, need ordering time. Late questions push you toward whatever is left in the shop nearest the office.
Ask their desk neighbour instead
The person who sits beside them knows the mug, the snack and the hobby, and can tell you without any of the mystery being spoiled. It is a quick route when you drew somebody you barely know.
Making a Small Budget Work
- Buy the good version of something ordinary rather than a cheap version of something impressive. A bargain gadget tends to disappoint, and the same money spent on very good coffee does not.
- Consumables carry no obligation. Nobody has to display them, keep them or explain what happened to them next year.
- Spend a little of the budget on the wrapping and write a note. Two lines on why you chose it take five minutes and make a small gift look considered.
- Avoid anything that commits them to future spending: a subscription that lapses, a single game in a series, one component of a set they do not own.
- Ask for a gift receipt if the shop offers one and tuck it in with the card, so they can swap the gift without having to find out who to ask.
Workplace Pitfalls
Anything about their body
Diet products, gym gear, grooming items and anything that comes in a size can read as commentary whatever you intended. Keep them out of an exchange where the gift gets opened in public.
Assuming alcohol is welcome
Plenty of people do not drink for reasons they have not shared with the office, and some workplaces have their own rules about alcohol as a gift. If you have not asked, choose something else.
Gag gifts about a colleague's habits
The joke about someone always being late or living on energy drinks is funny in the room and much less funny when they are holding it. Save teasing for people you know well outside work.
Going well over the limit
A gift that obviously cost double the agreed amount makes everyone who kept to it look mean. If you found something better for more money, save it for their birthday.
Anything that needs displaying at their desk
A framed item or a large ornament obliges them to keep it visible or to explain its absence. Small and portable is kinder.
If You Get No Useful Answers
- Default to a consumable in a category they clearly already use: the coffee, the snack, the hand cream on their desk.
- Buy one level up from what they buy themselves rather than something entirely different. Familiar and slightly better is a safe place to land.
- Choose something local and specific over something generic. A bag of beans from a roaster down the road beats a boxed set from a supermarket at the same price.
- Write two sentences about why you chose it. With a gift for someone you barely know, the note does a lot of the work.