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01 · Personal & Relational

Travel Questions to Ask a Guy

Travel questions for early dating or a long drive with someone you are getting to know: what he does when plans fall apart, who he travels with, and what he actually enjoys once he is there.

20 questions · each with a note on why · conversation guide

The questions

Open any question for the note

  1. Where was the last place you went, and would you go back?

    Why ask it

    Starts with the most recent trip rather than the most impressive one, which keeps the answer honest and easy. Would you go back is the half that gets you a reason instead of a place name.

  2. Do you plan a trip properly or work it out when you land?

    Why ask it

    One of the few compatibility questions that sounds like small talk. Spreadsheet planners and no-plan travellers can enjoy each other's company for a weekend and find a fortnight together genuinely difficult.

  3. What's the best thing you've eaten somewhere you couldn't get it at home?

    Why ask it

    Food answers come with the table, the company and the hour, so this often turns into the first proper story of the conversation. Someone who cannot name anything usually ate at the hotel every night, which tells you something too.

  4. Have you ever travelled somewhere on your own?

    Why ask it

    How he talks about solo time, as freeing, lonely, or something he has never considered, says more about how he handles his own company than a direct question would. Ask what he did with the evenings.

  5. What's the longest you've been away from home?

    Why ask it

    Length reveals circumstances: work postings, a gap year, family abroad, or a life where two weeks is the maximum anyone gets. It opens up his history without asking about money.

  6. What went badly wrong on a trip that you now tell as a story?

    Why ask it

    The interesting part is who he blames. Airline staff, a friend, himself, or nobody, is a fairly reliable preview of how he behaves when a plan collapses closer to home.

  7. Where did your family go when you were a kid?

    Why ask it

    This gets you family life through a side door, and it is comfortable to answer even if the family part is not. Repeated caravan trips and long drives to relatives produce warmer answers than anywhere expensive.

  8. What's a place everyone raves about that you just didn't like?

    Why ask it

    Permission to be unimpressed usually produces the most specific answer of the evening, because he has been holding it back at dinner parties. Listen for whether the complaint is about the place or about crowds, cost or being sold to.

  9. What's your worst airport story?

    Why ask it

    Nearly everyone has one, so nobody is left out, and it is a good recovery question if a heavier topic has stalled. Watch how he treats the staff in his own telling of it.

  10. Beach, mountains, or a city you can walk around at night?

    Why ask it

    A closed choice, easy to answer, and surprisingly informative about pace. The reason behind the choice is where the real answer is, so ask for it rather than moving on.

  11. What's the most physically hard thing you've done on a trip?

    Why ask it

    Tells you what he does for enjoyment versus what he does to have done it. A story about a long walk in bad weather with somebody else's rucksack is worth more than a summit photograph.

  12. Is there a place you keep going back to?

    Why ask it

    Repeat destinations are usually about a person, a routine or a family connection rather than the location. This is the question most likely to produce something he has not told many people.

  13. What do you always take with you that other people would find ridiculous?

    Why ask it

    Small, funny and revealing: a specific pillow, a kettle, hot sauce, a paperback he has read four times. Habits like this are the details you will remember about him weeks later.

  14. Who's the easiest person you've ever travelled with?

    Why ask it

    The answer defines what he finds easy in close quarters: silence, flexibility, someone else making decisions. It is one of the more useful things to know early, and he will not experience it as a test.

  15. Have you ever changed your plans halfway through a trip?

    Why ask it

    Shows how he handles a decision with money already spent. Some people cannot abandon a booking even when they are miserable, and that turns up again in bigger situations.

  16. What's still on your list that you haven't booked because of time, money or nerve?

    Why ask it

    Naming the obstacle stops this becoming a fantasy answer and makes it honest. Nerve is the one worth asking about, since almost nobody admits to it unprompted.

  17. Have you ever come home from a trip early?

    Why ask it

    An unusual question with an unusual answer, and it often reaches something real: an illness, a fallen-out friendship, homesickness he did not expect. Do not push if the answer stays short.

  18. What's the kindest thing a stranger has done for you when you were far from home?

    Why ask it

    Gets warmth into the conversation without asking directly about feelings, and the answer usually involves someone with far less money than him. Listen for whether he thanked them properly at the time or only worked out afterwards what it had cost them.

  19. Is there a trip that changed your mind about something?

    Why ask it

    Asks for a belief and its cause, which is a more substantial answer than what he liked or did not like. If the answer is nothing, that is worth knowing before you plan anything longer together.

  20. If we had four days and nothing booked, where would you want to go?

    Why ask it

    A light way to end that also tells you whether his instinct is a city, a coast or a friend's spare room. Keep it hypothetical unless you both mean it: a real invitation is a different conversation and should sound like one.

Talking About Travel Without Interviewing Him

Practical guidance for the conversation itself

Keeping It a Conversation

Trade, do not collect

Answer each question yourself before asking the next one. Three questions in a row with no answer from you turns pleasant conversation into a screening call, and people can feel the difference instantly.

Follow the detail, not the itinerary

When he mentions a person, a meal or a weather disaster, ask about that rather than moving to the next country. The specific thread is where the actual conversation is, and the list of places is just the index.

Notice pace and money, gently

How much he plans, how much he spends and how much he can sit still are the three things that decide whether travelling together works. All of it comes out on its own if you ask about actual trips instead of preferences.

Let a short answer be a short answer

Not everyone has travelled much, and some people have reasons they would rather not go into. Move to a question about food, journeys or the place he grew up rather than pressing for a passport story.

What the Answers Tend to Tell You

  • Disaster stories show how he behaves under stress and whether he takes any responsibility in his own version of events.
  • Who he has travelled with, and how he describes them, is a preview of how he will describe you to other people.
  • Whether he ever went off plan tells you how he treats sunk cost, which shows up again in jobs and in relationships.
  • The trip he regrets not taking often names the thing he is currently too cautious about.
  • Somebody who only names countries and never names anything that happened in them is telling you what the travel is for.

What Puts People Off

Turning it into a status check

Questions that assume plenty of holidays land badly on someone who has been working two jobs. Anchor to journeys, food and places near home and everyone can play.

Topping his story

Following his story with a better one ends the exchange even if you did not mean it that way. Ask one more question about his before offering yours.

Planning a trip together too early

Turning a hypothetical into a real invitation in the same breath puts him in the position of either agreeing or rejecting you. Keep the hypothetical hypothetical until you both mean it.

Correcting his impressions

Telling him he stayed in the wrong part of a city, or that he should have gone in a different month, is advice nobody asked for about a trip that is already over.