Year-End Questions to Ask Yourself
Year-end questions to ask yourself in the last days of December, alone with a notebook or out loud with a partner, a family or a team. They run in the order a review naturally goes: looking back at what happened, the hard parts, work and money, health and people, what to let go of, and then next year. Each has a note on what a useful or a worrying answer sounds like and what to do with it.
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The questions
Each question, and why to ask it
Looking Back
If I go through this year one month at a time, what actually happened?
Why ask it
Do this first, with your calendar and camera roll open, and write one line per month. Memory tends to hand back the last few weeks and the loudest events, so the scroll usually turns up a whole season you had forgotten. Every later answer gets more accurate for it.
What were the three best moments of this year?
Why ask it
Go for moments over achievements: a dinner, a morning, a phone call. Then look at what the three share, because the same person or the same kind of day showing up twice is the clearest instruction you'll get for next year.
What am I most proud of from this year?
Why ask it
It doesn't need to be something anyone clapped for. Leaving a thing, sticking with a dull one or asking for help all count. If you draw a blank, write what a good friend would say on your behalf and resist the urge to argue with it.
What was the hardest thing I got through this year?
Why ask it
Name it, then name what carried you: a person, a routine, plain stubbornness. The second half is the part to keep, since it's what you'll reach for the next time something goes wrong.
What is the biggest lesson this year taught me?
Why ask it
Try to phrase it as an instruction you could follow, like 'ask before assuming' or 'sleep before deciding'. A lesson that only reads as a verdict on you ('I'm bad with people') is a bruise, and it's worth a second attempt at the wording.
What am I most grateful for as this year ends?
Why ask it
Push past the categories to one name, one day, one thing somebody did. If that person is still within reach, the answer makes a better message to them than a line in your notebook, and December is an easy time to send it.
What did I set out to do last January, and what became of it?
Why ask it
Find the real list if one exists: a note on your phone, an old journal page. Sort every item into done, dropped on purpose, or quietly forgotten. The forgotten pile is the one to read twice before you set anything new.
What happened this year that I never saw coming in January?
Why ask it
Count the good shocks along with the bad ones. A long list is a fair warning about how much of any year can be planned, and that's useful to remember an hour from now when you're writing down what next year will hold.
How am I different from the person who started this year?
Why ask it
Look for a change someone else could see: you speak up sooner, you go to bed earlier, you stopped apologizing for leaving on time. If the honest answer is 'more tired' or 'more guarded', write that down too, because it shows what the year cost. Someone who knows you well can often answer this faster than you can.
What did I do for the first time this year?
Why ask it
New places and foods count, and so does a first time saying no to someone. A short list after twelve months isn't a failing, though it does suggest putting one deliberate first on next year's calendar.
Which book, film, song or show will I remember this year by?
Why ask it
A light one, and a good place to rest between heavier questions. What you name is usually tied to who you were with or what you were going through, so ask yourself why that one stuck. It's also the easiest question on the page to trade answers on.
What did I change my mind about this year?
Why ask it
It might be your opinion of someone, a plan you were sure of, or only what you want from a weekend. One or two real reversals are a sign you were paying attention. If you can't find any, ask whether the year brought nothing new or whether you stopped letting it in.
What one word sums up this year for me?
Why ask it
Take the first word that arrives, before you tidy it into something nicer. 'Survived' and 'stuck' are allowed. Write it large at the top of the page, because you'll set it beside the word you choose for next year at the end.
Hard Parts
What did I lose this year, or have to say goodbye to?
Why ask it
It could be a person or a pet, or something quieter like a job, a home or a plan you had counted on. Nothing here needs fixing, and getting it onto paper is the whole task. If the loss still fills most of your days, a notebook is only one place for it, and someone you trust or a counselor is another.
What didn't work this year, and how much of that was mine?
Why ask it
Split it into what you controlled and what you didn't. Taking all of the blame and taking none of it are both answers to be suspicious of. The useful version is one or two specific things you would do another way.
Which big decision this year would I make the same way again, and which would I change?
Why ask it
Judge each one on what you knew when you made it, never on how it turned out. A sound call that ended badly belongs in the 'same again' column, and seeing it there stops you learning the wrong thing from bad luck.
What took up more of my time this year than it deserved?
Why ask it
Check your calendar and your phone's screen-time report before answering from memory. A good answer names one thing and roughly how many hours a week it ate: a commute, a committee, a feed, somebody else's emergencies. Then say whether it can be cut, shortened or handed over, since a vow to be more disciplined has probably been tried already.
What was I worried about last January, and did it happen?
Why ask it
List the worries you can remember and mark each one: never happened, happened, or happened and you managed. For the ones that came true, write how you actually got through. That tally is worth having beside you when you turn to what scares you about next year.
When was I at my worst this year, and what was going on around me?
Why ask it
You're looking for conditions here, and a confession isn't required: three bad nights of sleep, a deadline, a week of house guests. An answer that blames only your character leaves you nothing to change, while circumstances can be seen coming.
What am I still angry or hurt about as the year closes?
Why ask it
Put down what happened in plain words, including who did what. Then choose one of three: it needs a conversation, it needs a boundary, or it needs more time. Leaving it unnamed is how it travels into another year with you.
Work and Money
What was my best piece of work this year?
Why ask it
Choose one thing you'd be glad to show someone. Then write what made it possible, whether that was enough time, a good collaborator or a clear brief, because those are the conditions to ask for again. In a team review, have everyone name their own and one of a colleague's.
What can I do now that I couldn't do last December?
Why ask it
Look for something concrete: a tool, a kind of conversation, a task you used to hand off. Add it to your resume tonight while the details are fresh. A blank two Decembers running suggests the job has stopped stretching you.
How do I feel on Sunday evenings now, compared with a year ago?
Why ask it
The direction matters more than the level: a mild reluctance that held steady all year reads very differently from a dread that grew month over month. If it grew, it deserves a real conversation in January, with your manager or with yourself. On a shift pattern, use the night before your first day back.
Where did my money actually go this year?
Why ask it
Pull the statements, or your banking app's yearly summary if it has one, and write down the five biggest categories. Expect at least one total to surprise you. Get the numbers down before you judge any of them, because replacing a guess with a figure is the whole point of asking.
What was the best money I spent this year, and what would I like back?
Why ask it
The good spending tends to cluster: time with people, something used daily, a fix for a nagging annoyance. The regrets often share a time of day or a mood. One line on each gives you a spending rule in your own words, which is easier to recall at a checkout than a budget category.
Am I ending the year with more saved and less owed than I started, or the reverse?
Why ask it
Two numbers from January and two from December are all it takes. If the direction is wrong, note whether a one-time hit caused it or a gap that repeats every month, because those call for different fixes.
What money task am I carrying into January unfinished?
Why ask it
Think of the will you haven't written, the subscriptions you forgot about, or an account or benefit with a year-end cutoff. Deadlines and rules differ by country, employer and provider, so ask how yours works before assuming. Then book an hour for it with a date attached.
Health and People
What gave me energy this year, and what kept wearing me down?
Why ask it
Make two columns and fill them with people, places and tasks, by name. A useful answer is specific enough to act on, like 'the Thursday class' or 'every call with that client'. If the only entry in the first column is a vacation, the ordinary weeks are what need attention.
How did my body feel for most of this year?
Why ask it
Answer in everyday terms: tired by three o'clock, sore in the mornings, stronger on the stairs. Compare it with how you'd have answered a year ago. Anything that got steadily worse over twelve months is a question for a doctor, and the notebook can't answer it.
Which habit helped me most this year, and which one cost me most?
Why ask it
One of each. The helpful one probably never felt like an achievement, so write down when and where it happens so a busy January can't bury it. For the costly one, note what usually comes right before it.
What appointment or check-up did I skip this year?
Why ask it
The dentist, an eye exam, the thing you keep meaning to have looked at. Writing it down doesn't count as doing it, so set a reminder to call in the first working week of January. What's due and what's covered depends on your age, your plan and where you live, so ask the office.
What did I reach for when this year got heavy, and did it help?
Why ask it
Put the whole list down without tidying it, whether that was a run, a friend, the phone, extra hours at work or a drink. Sort each by how you felt the next morning. If the heavy stretch never lifted, that's worth saying aloud to a doctor or a counselor, and a year-end page is a fine place to notice it.
Who did I spend the most time with this year, and who did I miss?
Why ask it
Make two short lists. The gap between them usually comes down to distance and calendars more than feeling. Pick one name from the second list and suggest an actual date before January fills up.
Which relationship grew stronger this year, and which one drifted?
Why ask it
For the stronger one, write what you did: the weekly call, the trip, the hard talk you didn't dodge. For the one that drifted, decide if you want it back. Yes means a message this week, and no is allowed.
Who showed up for me this year?
Why ask it
Think of who came when it was inconvenient for them. The names are sometimes not the ones you'd have predicted in January. Write down exactly what each of them did, because that is your pattern for turning up for someone else next year.
Who did I let down this year, and can it still be put right?
Why ask it
Stick to what can be mended: the missed birthday, the call you never returned, the sharp remark. A two-line apology with no excuse attached is enough for most of them. A list that runs to twenty names says more about how hard you are on yourself than about your year.
What conversation did I avoid all year?
Why ask it
Write the opening sentence you'd use, which is the hardest part. If you're doing this review with a partner, this is the question with the most in it, so agree before you start whether you're both willing to answer it out loud.
Letting Go
What am I ready to leave behind with this year?
Why ask it
It can be a grudge, a role you've outgrown or a plan that no longer fits. Next to it, write what leaving it takes in practice: a cancellation, an email, an app deleted. Anything with no action beside it tends to follow you across.
Which commitment do I not want to renew next year?
Why ask it
Committees, memberships, standing favors, the group you attend out of guilt. Plenty of these roll over in January, which makes now the polite time to give notice. If the thought of quitting brings relief more than loss, you have your answer.
Which goal have I carried for years without touching?
Why ask it
If it has appeared on three year-end lists, it gets a ruling tonight. Put a first step in the first week of January, or strike it out and notice how that feels. Relief is a fair sign it was someone else's goal, or an older you's.
What belief about myself did this year prove wrong?
Why ask it
'I can't do that alone', 'I'm no good with numbers', 'I always quit'. Find the week that contradicts it and write the evidence beside the old sentence. It will need rereading the next time the old line comes back.
What do I need to forgive myself for before this year is over?
Why ask it
Say it in one sentence, then write what you'd tell a friend who had done the same thing. Keep it to a single item. A long list here has stopped being a review and become a punishment, and that's the moment to close the notebook for the night.
Next Year
What worked this year that I want to keep doing?
Why ask it
Answer this before you add a single new goal. The things that worked, a Thursday dinner, a morning walk, a way of planning the week, don't feel like goals, which is why they get crowded out by resolutions.
What do I want more of next year, and what do I want less of?
Why ask it
Think in amounts before goals: more evenings outdoors, fewer weeknight meetings, more time with one named person. Hold the two halves against each other, since the 'more' usually has to come out of the hours the 'less' frees up. One of each is enough to plan around.
If only one thing went right next year, what would I want it to be?
Why ask it
Hold yourself to one. If three are fighting for the spot, ask which you'd keep if the other two were sure to fail. Whatever wins gets planned first and gets your best hours.
What do I want a normal week to look like by next December?
Why ask it
Describe it plainly: when you get up, who you see, what the evenings are like. Then check your goals against it. A plan that wouldn't produce that week is aimed at something else, and it's better to find that out now.
What will I start, what will I stop, and what will I continue?
Why ask it
One answer for each, written as something you could be seen doing. The format works well for couples and teams: everyone writes theirs privately, then reads them aloud. If 'stop' stays blank, give it another minute, since it is the one that makes room for the other two.
What am I afraid next year might bring, and what can I do about it now?
Why ask it
Name the specific thing: a layoff, a parent's health, a move you don't want. Divide it into the part you can prepare for and the part you can't. The first gets one practical step, and the second gets permission to stop being rehearsed.
What do I want to learn or try next year, just because I want to?
Why ask it
The test is whether you'd still want it if you could never mention it to anyone. If so, find the first class, book or borrowed instrument before the holidays end. Ideas like this rarely survive a busy February without a date.
What word do I want to steer next year?
Why ask it
Set it beside the word you gave this year and see what the pair says. A good one settles real choices: 'steady' turns down the third side project, 'closer' picks the visit over the overtime. If it couldn't decide anything in March, choose again.
What do I want to be able to say when I sit down to do this again next year?
Why ask it
Write three sentences in the past tense, as if the year were already over, and put a reminder on next December's calendar to reread them. Next year's review then starts by opening this page.
What is the first small thing I will do in January?
Why ask it
Small enough to finish in the first week, with a day beside it: make the call, set up the transfer, send the message you've been meaning to send. A review that ends with no dated action was a pleasant evening and nothing more.
How to run a year-end review with these questions
Practical guidance for the conversation itself
Before you start
Gather the evidence first
Put your calendar, your photos, a bank or card summary and last January's goals within reach before you answer anything. A review done from memory is a review of December. Ten minutes of scrolling back through the spring changes what you write.
Write the answers down
Thinking through a question while you do the dishes feels like reflection and leaves nothing behind. Use paper or a document you'll be able to find next December. Short answers are fine: a name, a number, one sentence.
Choose about ten
Nobody needs the whole list in one evening. Take the first five, which make a complete short review on their own, then add one or two from each later group that you'd prefer not to answer. The ones you want to skip are usually the ones doing the work.
Look back before you look ahead
The groups run in order on purpose: what happened, the hard parts, work and money, health and people, what to let go, and only then next year. Goals written before the looking back tend to be last year's goals again. If you can, do the Next Year group on a second day, after a night's sleep.
Pick the right hour
The quiet days between the holidays and the first working week suit this well, though any unhurried ninety minutes will do. Late at night on December 31 is the worst slot: you're tired, and everything reads darker than it was. If your year turns at a birthday or the end of a school year, the same questions work then, with 'January' swapped for your own starting line.
With a partner, a family or a team
Answer alone, then share
Give everyone ten quiet minutes to write before anyone speaks. Otherwise the first answer said out loud becomes everybody's answer. Each person then chooses what to read out and what to keep.
As a couple
Swap 'I' for 'we' where it fits: our best moments, what we want to keep doing, what we're each afraid next year might bring. Take turns going first, and don't correct the other person's memory of the year. Agree at the start on which topics are open tonight, money and the avoided conversation in particular.
With children or teenagers
Keep to the lighter Looking Back questions: best moments, firsts, the song or show of the year, one word. Let them answer in drawings or photos if they like. Write the answers down and date them, so you can read them back together next December.
As a team at work
Use best piece of work, what you can do now that you couldn't a year ago, what took more time than it deserved, and start, stop, continue. Leave the health, money and family questions out of the room entirely. Make sharing optional, and have the most senior person answer the 'what didn't work' question first so it's safe for everyone else.
What to do with your answers
Read for repeats
Once you've finished, read the whole page through and underline anything that appears more than once: a person's name, a kind of day, a complaint. Whatever shows up under three different questions is the real finding of the review, more than any single answer.
Boil it down to three lines
Write one thing to keep, one thing to drop and one thing to aim at. That fits on an index card you can leave on the fridge or the desk, and it's far more likely to be looked at in April than four pages of notes.
Put dates on it
Every answer that calls for an action, such as the appointment, the message or the money task, goes into the calendar before you close the notebook. Give the first one a date in the first week of January.
If the year was a hard one
Some years the honest review is mostly loss, and that's a legitimate result. Stay longer with what got you through and with who showed up, and go easy on the Letting Go group. If writing it out stirs up more than a notebook can hold, stop for the night and talk to someone you trust.
Keep the pages
Store them where next December's version of you will find them, and add a calendar reminder saying where that is. The second year is when this starts to pay off, because you get to read what you were worried about and what you hoped for, and see how it went.