101 Questions to Ask Before Getting Engaged List
Comprehensive list of 101 essential questions to ask before getting engaged to ensure you and your partner are truly compatible and ready for marriage.
1What are your core values and beliefs, and how do they align with mine?
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What are your core values and beliefs, and how do they align with mine?
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Why this works
Critical for understanding fundamental compatibility and whether your core values are compatible for a lifelong partnership.
2What are your thoughts on marriage, and what does it mean to you?
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What are your thoughts on marriage, and what does it mean to you?
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Why this works
Important for understanding each other's expectations and beliefs about marriage and commitment.
3What are your financial goals and spending habits, and how do we handle money together?
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What are your financial goals and spending habits, and how do we handle money together?
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Why this works
Critical for understanding financial compatibility and how you'll manage money as a couple.
4What are your career goals and aspirations, and how do they fit with mine?
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What are your career goals and aspirations, and how do they fit with mine?
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Why this works
Important for understanding how your careers will work together and what support you'll need from each other.
5What are your thoughts on having children, and how many do you want?
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What are your thoughts on having children, and how many do you want?
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Why this works
Critical for understanding your family planning goals and whether you're on the same page about children.
6What are your parenting philosophies and values, and how do they align with mine?
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What are your parenting philosophies and values, and how do they align with mine?
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Why this works
Important for understanding how you'll raise children together and what values you'll instill in them.
7What are your thoughts on religion and spirituality, and how important are they to you?
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What are your thoughts on religion and spirituality, and how important are they to you?
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Why this works
Critical for understanding your spiritual beliefs and how they'll influence your relationship and family life.
8What are your thoughts on family relationships, and how do you want to handle them?
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What are your thoughts on family relationships, and how do you want to handle them?
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Why this works
Important for understanding how you'll manage relationships with extended family and what boundaries you'll set.
9What are your thoughts on communication, and how do you prefer to handle conflicts?
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What are your thoughts on communication, and how do you prefer to handle conflicts?
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Why this works
Critical for understanding how you'll communicate and resolve conflicts in your relationship.
10What are your thoughts on intimacy and physical affection, and what are your needs?
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What are your thoughts on intimacy and physical affection, and what are your needs?
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Why this works
Important for understanding your physical and emotional intimacy needs and how you'll maintain connection.
11What are your thoughts on household responsibilities, and how do you want to divide them?
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What are your thoughts on household responsibilities, and how do you want to divide them?
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Why this works
Critical for understanding how you'll manage daily life together and what responsibilities each person will have.
12What are your thoughts on social life and friendships, and how do you want to maintain them?
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What are your thoughts on social life and friendships, and how do you want to maintain them?
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Why this works
Important for understanding how you'll balance your relationship with other important relationships in your life.
13What are your thoughts on personal space and independence, and how much do you need?
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What are your thoughts on personal space and independence, and how much do you need?
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Why this works
Critical for understanding how you'll balance togetherness with individual needs and personal growth.
14What are your thoughts on travel and adventure, and what experiences do you want to have?
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What are your thoughts on travel and adventure, and what experiences do you want to have?
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Why this works
Important for understanding your shared interests and what experiences you want to have together.
15What are your thoughts on health and wellness, and how do you want to support each other?
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What are your thoughts on health and wellness, and how do you want to support each other?
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Why this works
Critical for understanding how you'll support each other's health and wellness goals and what lifestyle you want to maintain.
16What are your thoughts on education and learning, and how do you want to continue growing?
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What are your thoughts on education and learning, and how do you want to continue growing?
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Why this works
Important for understanding your commitment to personal growth and how you'll support each other's learning and development.
17What are your thoughts on retirement and aging, and how do you want to plan for the future?
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What are your thoughts on retirement and aging, and how do you want to plan for the future?
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Why this works
Critical for understanding your long-term planning and how you'll prepare for the future together.
18What are your thoughts on traditions and celebrations, and what do you want to create together?
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What are your thoughts on traditions and celebrations, and what do you want to create together?
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Why this works
Important for understanding what traditions you want to maintain and what new ones you want to create together.
19What are your thoughts on change and adaptation, and how do you handle life transitions?
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What are your thoughts on change and adaptation, and how do you handle life transitions?
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Why this works
Critical for understanding how you'll handle life changes and what support you'll need from each other.
20What are your thoughts on forgiveness and second chances, and how do you handle mistakes?
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What are your thoughts on forgiveness and second chances, and how do you handle mistakes?
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Why this works
Important for understanding how you'll handle conflicts and mistakes in your relationship and what forgiveness means to you.
Pre-Engagement Relationship Assessment
Expert tips and techniques for getting the most out of these questions.
Best Practices
Be Honest and Open
Answer all questions honestly and openly. This is the time to be completely transparent about your thoughts, feelings, and expectations.
Listen Actively
Pay attention to your partner's answers and ask follow-up questions. This shows your engagement and helps you understand their perspective.
Take Your Time
Don't rush through these questions. Take time to think about your answers and discuss them thoroughly with your partner.
Question Sequences
The Values Explorer
The Family Seeker
Common Pitfalls
Don't Avoid Difficult Topics
Don't avoid asking about difficult or uncomfortable topics. These are often the most important questions to ask before getting engaged.
Avoid Making Assumptions
Don't assume you know the answers to these questions. Ask them directly and listen to the actual responses.
Don't Rush the Process
Don't rush through these questions or try to answer them all at once. Take time to discuss each topic thoroughly.