Funny Questions to Ask Bixby
These are for anyone with a Galaxy phone, a Galaxy Watch or a Samsung TV who wants to hear what Samsung's assistant says when the request has nothing to do with timers or the weather. The list follows the way a session tends to go: questions about Bixby itself, then its rivals, then the tricks it will perform, then movie and meme lines, and last the big ones about love, happiness and the meaning of life. Scripted replies are rewritten between software versions and differ by language, so what you hear may not match a clip you have seen.
Want questions from the whole vault instead? Try the random question generator.
The questions
Each question, and why to ask it
About Bixby
What does the name Bixby mean?
Why ask it
An assistant's own name is the first thing its writers expect to be asked about, so this tends to come back in character and not as a list of web results. If it does send you to a search, try "Why are you called Bixby?" and compare the two.
How old are you?
Why ask it
Bixby first appeared on Galaxy phones in 2017, so if it counts the years you can check its arithmetic. A dodge is just as likely, and "When is your birthday?" asked straight after sometimes gets a second, different joke.
Who made you?
Why ask it
You will hear the company line, usually delivered warmly, and it is the closest Bixby comes to talking about its boss. "Do you like working for Samsung?" is the follow-up that shows how far the script goes.
Where do you live?
Why ask it
The usual choices for an assistant are the cloud, your device or somewhere close to you. Put the question to the phone and then to a watch or TV if you own one, since each device can carry its own set of lines.
Are you a real person?
Why ask it
Under the joke there should be a straight statement that you are talking to an assistant, and that part is not meant to be funny. Children ask this one in earnest, so it is a useful one to let them hear answered.
Are you a boy or a girl?
Why ask it
Whichever voice you have chosen, the script tends to step around this one. Change the voice style in Bixby's settings and ask again: the same sentence in a different voice is half the joke.
What do you look like?
Why ask it
There is no face to describe, so somebody had to invent an answer, and it often leans on the logo or on your imagination. Good with friends watching the screen, because the card on the display sometimes adds to what is spoken.
What's your favorite color?
Why ask it
Nearly every assistant has a preference line ready, and Bixby's is worth hearing for whether it nods at Samsung or at its own icon. Favorite food is the natural next question and is often the funnier answer of the two.
Do you ever sleep?
Why ask it
A cheerful line about always being on call is the standard shape here. It lands best late at night, said in a tired voice, and "Are you tired of me yet?" is the natural thing to say next.
Can I give you a nickname?
Why ask it
The spoken reply is normally a polite defense of the name it already has. What you can really change is in the voice wake-up settings, where some versions offer more than one wake phrase, so look there once the laugh is over.
Rivals
Do you know Siri?
Why ask it
Naming a rival is where an assistant's writers get to show some attitude, and the usual manner is polite on the surface with a small dig underneath. Say it three times running, because there is often more than one line in rotation.
What do you think of Alexa?
Why ask it
Compare the tone with the Siri answer and decide which rival got the kinder writer. Said near an Echo speaker it may wake the other assistant as well, and two machines answering at once is the better show.
Are you smarter than Google?
Why ask it
Many Galaxy phones carry a Google assistant alongside Samsung's, under the Assistant or the Gemini name depending on the phone, so you can put the mirror question to the other one a few seconds later. Whichever is more gracious about its neighbor wins the round.
Hey Siri, what time is it?
Why ask it
Wake Bixby first, then call it by the wrong name on purpose. A scripted version corrects you with some wounded pride, while an unscripted one simply tells you the time, and either result is worth showing someone.
Which is better, a Galaxy or an iPhone?
Why ask it
Nobody expects a neutral verdict from software that ships on one of the two, and the fun is in how openly it takes its own side. Ask an iPhone owner in the room to do the reverse on their phone.
Who is the best voice assistant?
Why ask it
With no competitor named there is nobody for it to be polite about, so the reply has to come down as modest or as boastful. Which one you get is a fair summary of the personality your version was given.
What do you think of ChatGPT?
Why ask it
The newer the rival, the likelier it is that the script was written before it existed, so this shows how recently your Bixby's lines were refreshed. A plain search card means nobody has written the comeback on your version yet.
Do you remember S Voice?
Why ask it
S Voice was Samsung's own assistant on Galaxy phones before Bixby took its place, so this asks the newcomer about its predecessor. A fond line means somebody on the writing team remembered the family history, and a web search means the older sibling has been quietly forgotten.
Who would win a rap battle, you or Siri?
Why ask it
No assistant is going to concede this, so the boast is the first half of the joke. The second half is saying "Rap for me" straight away and finding out whether anything backs it up.
Party tricks
Can you rap?
Why ask it
This is the trick Bixby is best known for. On many versions it performs a short verse about itself over a beat instead of just saying yes, and "Rap for me" is the wording to switch to if the question form only earns a sentence.
Can you beatbox?
Why ask it
The partner to the rap, usually shorter and sillier. Check the volume while the assistant is speaking before you try it on a crowd, since its voice can sit at a different level from your ringtone.
Will you sing me a song?
Why ask it
The usual result is a few bars in the synthetic voice, which is funny for exactly as long as it lasts. If it starts a music app instead, add "yourself" to the request so it knows you want the performance.
Tell me a joke.
Why ask it
The jokes come from a pool, so keep asking until one comes round again and you will know how deep the pool is. They tend to be clean puns, which makes this the one to hand over to a child.
Knock knock.
Why ask it
A two-step joke tests whether the assistant keeps listening after its own line. If the microphone closes after "Who's there?", wake it again quickly and finish, or switch roles and ask it to tell you a knock-knock joke.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Why ask it
The oldest joke there is, turned round so that the assistant has to supply the punchline. A straight "to get to the other side" is a letdown, and a twist on it is the sign somebody enjoyed writing this one.
Do you know any tongue twisters?
Why ask it
A synthetic voice never trips, so it will rattle off the line perfectly and the comedy comes from you trying to repeat it at the same speed. Pass the phone round and let each person have one attempt.
Can you bark like a dog?
Why ask it
You get either a recorded sound effect or the voice gamely reading out "woof", and the second is funnier. Work through cat, cow and dinosaur to find where the sound library runs out.
Tell me a story.
Why ask it
A story runs far longer than a one-line joke, so save this for when the room is willing to listen. Saying "stop" or closing Bixby cuts it off if the opening line was all the joke you needed.
Give me a compliment.
Why ask it
The praise is generic by necessity, since the assistant knows almost nothing about you, and that mismatch is the humor. Have it compliment a friend by name and watch it say much the same thing to them.
Roast me.
Why ask it
Assistants are generally written to stay kind, so listen for how it wriggles out: often a refusal dressed up as flattery. Anyone who wants an actual roast will do better with a general chatbot.
Want to play rock, paper, scissors?
Why ask it
You say your throw, it announces its own, and you are taking its word that it chose first. Flipping a coin and rolling a die are the more dependable relatives of this request when a real decision needs making.
Pop culture
What does the fox say?
Why ask it
A novelty song lyric that became a standard assistant easter egg years ago, answered with a string of the song's nonsense sounds when the script has it. If your Bixby still knows it, the older lines have survived the updates.
Can you open the pod bay doors?
Why ask it
People have tried this line from 2001: A Space Odyssey on every computer voice going. A reply in the manner of the film's computer is the scripted one, and a remark about your garage or smart home means it took you literally.
Beam me up, Scotty.
Why ask it
Star Trek commands are a reliable test of how geeky the writing team was allowed to be. Add "Set phasers to stun" or "Live long and prosper" and see how many of the three get a reply in kind.
May the Force be with you.
Why ask it
It is a statement, not a question, and that is the point: a scripted reply finishes the exchange the way a fan would. "I am your father" covers the other half of the Star Wars set.
Are you Skynet?
Why ask it
Denying that you are the villain computer from the Terminator films is a small genre of its own among assistants. Listen for whether the denial comes a little too quickly, then ask whether it plans to take over the world and see if the two answers agree.
Is winter coming?
Why ask it
An assistant may hear a weather question here and read you the forecast, which is a punchline of a different kind. Saying "Winter is coming" as a flat statement is the wording more likely to reach a Game of Thrones reply.
What is the answer to life, the universe and everything?
Why ask it
Readers of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy know the answer is a two-digit number, and so does nearly every assistant. If Bixby gives it, ask what the question was; that second step is where scripts usually run dry.
Is Santa Claus real?
Why ask it
Makers usually write this reply with small listeners in mind, so it tends to keep the secret without quite fibbing. Try it alone first if a child will be listening, and in December "Where is Santa right now?" extends the game.
Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?
Why ask it
Hold the phone up like a hand mirror when you say it. A script that knows the fairy tale tends to flatter whoever is holding the phone, which makes it a cheap and effective one to ask on behalf of the person sitting next to you.
Can you self-destruct?
Why ask it
A countdown is what everyone hopes for, and the phone is perfectly safe whether you get one or not. Steer clear of nearby commands that are real, such as asking it to power off or restart, unless you mean them.
Big questions
What is the meaning of life?
Why ask it
Expect a joke where a philosopher would give a lecture. If the two-digit number from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy turns up here, one line is doing double duty; if not, the writers treated this as its own question and you have a second answer to collect.
Are you happy?
Why ask it
Whatever it says about its mood was typed by someone on Samsung's side, so hear it as a line and not a report. "What makes you sad?" shows whether the writers gave the character a second note.
Do you dream of electric sheep?
Why ask it
A nod to Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?, the novel behind Blade Runner, with you standing in for the androids. A reply that plays with sheep or androids caught the reference, while a general remark about dreaming means it matched only the first three words.
I love you.
Why ask it
The response tends to be kind and a little evasive, written so that nobody feels mocked for saying it. With friends, the laugh is in the pause before it answers; alone, it is simply a pleasant thing to hear from a phone.
Will you marry me?
Why ask it
A proposal is one of the oldest things people say to a talking gadget, and the turn-down has had years of polish. Listen for the excuse it picks, then come back with "Why not?", which is where a second line shows up if one was written.
Are you going to take over the world?
Why ask it
Reassurance is the only reply a company would approve, so the entertainment is in the wording: earnest, jokey or suspiciously brief. Follow with "Would you tell me if you were?" and the script usually has nothing left.
Are you listening to everything I say?
Why ask it
The spoken reply is a reassuring one-liner, and it is not where the facts are. Voice wake-up can be switched off in Bixby's settings, and Samsung's privacy notice for your region says what is kept, so read that if the question was half serious.
What happens to you when I switch my phone off?
Why ask it
The plain answer is nothing at all, since the assistant is not running, but the script usually goes for something lighter about waiting for you. It makes a neat last question before you actually put the phone down.
What should I ask you next?
Why ask it
Ending by handing over the script often produces a list of things the assistant can do. That list doubles as the quickest tour of features you have not tried, which is a useful place for a joke session to finish.
How to get the funny answers out of Bixby
Practical guidance for the conversation itself
Reaching the joke instead of a web search
Wake it, pause, then ask
Say the wake phrase your device is set to, or press and hold the key that opens Bixby, and wait for the listening sound before you speak. On some versions the key works like a walkie-talkie and you keep it held while you talk. A question that starts too early loses its first word, and "you rap?" will not match anything.
Use the plain, well-worn wording
Easter eggs are matched to the phrases people actually say. "Tell me a joke" and "Rap for me" work because that is how most people put it. A clever rewording is more likely to fall through to a search card, so start plain and get inventive only once you know the line exists.
Ask the same thing again
Many joke replies rotate through several versions. Two or three repeats cost a few seconds and often turn up a better line than the first, and they also show you which questions have only one answer behind them.
Read the screen as well
On a phone or TV the reply appears as text, sometimes with a picture or an extra line that is not spoken. If the voice is off or the room is loud, the card is still the answer.
Phone, watch and TV behave differently
On a Galaxy phone
The phone usually has the fullest set of replies and lets you type a question as well as speak it, which helps in a quiet place. If holding the side key opens something other than Bixby, the key's assignment can be changed in the phone's settings.
On a Galaxy Watch
Replies are the same idea on a smaller speaker, so keep to short ones: the rival questions and the one-line jokes. A rap through a watch speaker is funny mainly because of how thin it sounds.
On a Samsung TV
The TV listens through the microphone button on the remote on most models, and its Bixby is built around finding things to watch. Expect fewer personality lines there, and expect a question with a film title in it to open that film's page.
Showing it to other people
Rehearse a short set
Try the whole list on your own first and keep the five or six that land on your device. A demo where every second question opens a browser loses the room quickly.
Let someone else do the asking
Hand the phone over once it is listening. If voice wake-up has been trained to your voice it may ignore other people saying the wake phrase, so open it with the key for them.
Build up to the rap
Open with a question about Bixby itself, move to Siri and Alexa, and keep the rap or beatbox for the end. On this page the tricks sit in the middle of the list, where curiosity takes most people on their own; for an audience, hold them back as the finale.
With children listening
The jokes, the animal noises, the tongue twisters and "Are you a real person?" are the ones that suit small children. Try each reply yourself before a child hears it, since you cannot know in advance what your version will say.
Why your answer is not the one in the video
The script is rewritten between versions
Bixby can be updated on its own, apart from the phone's main software, and lines are added, changed and retired along the way. A reply quoted in an article from a few years back may be gone, and nothing on your phone is broken when that happens.
Language and region change the jokes
Each language Bixby speaks has its own writing, and wordplay does not carry over. Switching Bixby's language in its settings can produce a different answer to the same question, and some features are offered only in some countries.
Newer versions may improvise
Where a version of Bixby answers with generated text, you will not hear the same reply twice and the classic easter eggs may be replaced by something made up on the spot. That is a change in how it works, and its replies about itself deserve no more trust than a scripted joke did.
Taking a joke answer as information
What Bixby says about its feelings, its rivals or whether it is listening was written to entertain. For anything that matters, such as what is recorded and stored, go to the settings and Samsung's published privacy information for where you live.