20 Questions

Gay Questions to Ask

Thoughtful questions to ask within the LGBTQ+ community to foster understanding, build connections, and explore shared experiences and perspectives.

1

What was your coming out experience like and how did it shape who you are today?

Click to see why this works

Why this works

This question allows for sharing of personal journeys and helps build understanding of the diverse experiences within the LGBTQ+ community.

2

How do you navigate relationships and what are your hopes for partnership?

Click to see why this works

Why this works

This question explores relationship dynamics and personal goals, fostering deeper connection and understanding of relationship values.

3

What are the biggest challenges you face in your daily life and how do you handle them?

Click to see why this works

Why this works

This question creates space for sharing struggles and coping strategies, building empathy and support within the community.

4

How do you find and build community, and what does community mean to you?

Click to see why this works

Why this works

This question explores the importance of community and belonging, helping understand how people connect and support each other.

5

What are your thoughts on representation in media and how it affects our community?

Click to see why this works

Why this works

This question explores the impact of media representation and its role in shaping perceptions and self-image within the community.

6

How do you approach family relationships and what support do you have?

Click to see why this works

Why this works

This question explores family dynamics and support systems, helping understand the diverse ways people navigate family relationships.

7

What are your experiences with workplace inclusion and how do you handle discrimination?

Click to see why this works

Why this works

This question addresses professional challenges and strategies for navigating workplace environments as an LGBTQ+ person.

8

How do you celebrate your identity and what brings you joy?

Click to see why this works

Why this works

This question focuses on positive aspects of identity and community, highlighting joy and celebration within the LGBTQ+ experience.

9

What are your thoughts on the current state of LGBTQ+ rights and what changes do you hope to see?

Click to see why this works

Why this works

This question explores political awareness and hopes for the future, fostering discussion about advocacy and social change.

10

How do you approach dating and what are you looking for in a partner?

Click to see why this works

Why this works

This question explores romantic goals and preferences, helping understand what people value in relationships.

11

What are your experiences with mental health and how do you prioritize self-care?

Click to see why this works

Why this works

This question addresses mental health awareness and self-care practices, which are important for overall well-being.

12

How do you handle intersectionality and what other identities are important to you?

Click to see why this works

Why this works

This question explores the complexity of identity and how different aspects of identity intersect and influence each other.

13

What are your thoughts on marriage equality and what does marriage mean to you?

Click to see why this works

Why this works

This question explores views on marriage and commitment, helping understand different perspectives on relationship milestones.

14

How do you approach coming out to new people and what strategies work for you?

Click to see why this works

Why this works

This question shares practical advice and experiences about coming out, helping others navigate similar situations.

15

What are your experiences with healthcare and how do you ensure you receive appropriate care?

Click to see why this works

Why this works

This question addresses healthcare access and advocacy, which are important for maintaining physical and mental health.

16

How do you handle microaggressions and what support do you need?

Click to see why this works

Why this works

This question explores the impact of subtle discrimination and strategies for coping and seeking support.

17

What are your thoughts on the role of allies and how can they best support the community?

Click to see why this works

Why this works

This question explores allyship and how non-LGBTQ+ people can be effective supporters and advocates.

18

How do you approach parenting and what are your thoughts on family planning?

Click to see why this works

Why this works

This question explores family planning and parenting within the LGBTQ+ community, addressing diverse family structures and goals.

19

What are your experiences with religion and spirituality, and how do they intersect with your identity?

Click to see why this works

Why this works

This question explores the intersection of faith and identity, addressing the complex relationship between religion and LGBTQ+ identity.

20

How do you stay connected to the community and what events or activities do you enjoy?

Click to see why this works

Why this works

This question explores community engagement and social connections, helping understand how people stay involved and connected.

Best Practices for LGBTQ+ Questions

Expert tips and techniques for getting the most out of these questions.

Best Practices

Start with Personal Experiences

Begin with questions about personal experiences and journeys, as these create a foundation for understanding and connection within the community.

Focus on Community and Support

Ask about community building, support systems, and shared experiences to foster understanding and solidarity within the LGBTQ+ community.

Explore Identity and Intersectionality

Understand the complexity of identity and how different aspects of identity intersect and influence each other within the community.

Question Sequences

The Personal Journey Explorer

1
What was your coming out experience like and how did it shape who you are today?
2
How do you navigate relationships and what are your hopes for partnership?
3
What are the biggest challenges you face in your daily life and how do you handle them?
4
How do you find and build community, and what does community mean to you?

The Community Builder

1
What are your thoughts on representation in media and how it affects our community?
2
How do you approach family relationships and what support do you have?
3
What are your experiences with workplace inclusion and how do you handle discrimination?
4
How do you celebrate your identity and what brings you joy?

Common Pitfalls

Don't Ask About Personal Finances

Avoid asking about personal financial situations or family income. Focus on experiences, relationships, and community instead.

Avoid Asking About Sensitive Personal Topics

Don't ask about deeply personal or traumatic experiences unless the person is comfortable sharing and you're prepared to support them.

Don't Make Assumptions About Identity

Ask open-ended questions that allow the person to describe their identity and experiences rather than making assumptions about their background.

Question Templates

The Personal Journey Explorer

1
Step 1: Start with: "What was your coming out experience like and how did it shape who you are today?"
2
Step 2: Follow with: "How do you navigate relationships and what are your hopes for partnership?"
3
Step 3: Explore with: "What are the biggest challenges you face in your daily life and how do you handle them?"
4
Step 4: Assess with: "How do you find and build community, and what does community mean to you?"

The Community Builder

1
Step 1: Start with: "What are your thoughts on representation in media and how it affects our community?"
2
Step 2: Follow with: "How do you approach family relationships and what support do you have?"
3
Step 3: Explore with: "What are your experiences with workplace inclusion and how do you handle discrimination?"
4
Step 4: Assess with: "How do you celebrate your identity and what brings you joy?"

Further Reading

The Art of Conversation by Catherine Blyth
How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie
The Charisma Myth by Olivia Fox Cabane

Find Your Perfect Questions

Search our collection of thoughtful questions for any conversation or situation