20 Questions

LDS Questions to Ask Before Marriage

Essential questions for LDS couples to discuss before marriage that help ensure spiritual compatibility, shared values, and alignment on important religious and family matters.

1

How do you envision our temple marriage and what does it mean to you?

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Why this works

Fundamental question that reveals their understanding of temple marriage and ensures you're both committed to the same spiritual goals and eternal perspective on your relationship.

2

What are your thoughts on family prayer, scripture study, and home evening?

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Why this works

Critical for understanding how you'll maintain spiritual practices in your home and ensures you're both committed to creating a gospel-centered family environment.

3

How do you want to handle callings and church service in our marriage?

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Why this works

Important for understanding how you'll balance individual callings with family responsibilities and support each other in church service.

4

What are your views on tithing and financial priorities in our family?

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Why this works

Essential for ensuring financial compatibility and shared commitment to gospel principles, especially regarding tithing and other financial obligations.

5

How do you want to approach family planning and having children?

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Why this works

Critical for understanding your views on children, timing, and family size, ensuring you're both aligned on this important aspect of LDS family life.

6

What are your thoughts on the Word of Wisdom and how do you want to live it?

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Why this works

Important for ensuring you're both committed to living the Word of Wisdom and have similar standards regarding health and lifestyle choices.

7

How do you want to handle disagreements about gospel principles or church policies?

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Why this works

Reveals your approach to navigating differences in understanding or interpretation of gospel principles, which is crucial for maintaining unity in an LDS marriage.

8

What are your thoughts on education and career goals in relation to family responsibilities?

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Why this works

Important for understanding how you'll balance individual goals with family priorities and ensure you're both committed to the same vision for your family's future.

9

How do you want to approach family history work and temple ordinances?

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Why this works

Reveals your commitment to temple work and family history, ensuring you're both dedicated to this important aspect of LDS life and eternal families.

10

What are your thoughts on mission service and how do you want to support each other in callings?

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Why this works

Important for understanding how you'll support each other in church service and whether you're both committed to serving missions if called.

11

How do you want to handle family traditions and holiday celebrations?

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Why this works

Reveals your approach to creating family traditions and celebrating holidays in a way that's consistent with LDS values and teachings.

12

What are your thoughts on media consumption and entertainment choices?

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Why this works

Important for ensuring you're both committed to choosing media and entertainment that's consistent with LDS values and standards.

13

How do you want to approach family home evening and teaching our children?

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Why this works

Critical for understanding how you'll teach your children the gospel and create a home environment that supports their spiritual development.

14

What are your thoughts on education and how do you want to approach our children's schooling?

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Why this works

Important for understanding your views on education and ensuring you're both committed to the same approach to your children's learning and development.

15

How do you want to handle family relationships and in-law dynamics?

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Why this works

Reveals your approach to family relationships and helps ensure you're both committed to maintaining good relationships with extended family while prioritizing your marriage.

16

What are your thoughts on financial planning and how do you want to approach money management?

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Why this works

Important for ensuring you're both committed to the same financial principles and have similar approaches to money management and financial planning.

17

How do you want to approach personal revelation and decision-making in our marriage?

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Why this works

Critical for understanding how you'll seek and receive personal revelation together and ensure you're both committed to following the Spirit in your marriage.

18

What are your thoughts on service and how do you want to serve others together?

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Why this works

Reveals your commitment to service and helps ensure you're both dedicated to serving others and making a positive impact in your community.

19

How do you want to approach personal growth and spiritual development in our marriage?

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Why this works

Important for understanding how you'll support each other's spiritual growth and ensure you're both committed to continuing to develop your testimonies and relationship with God.

20

What are your thoughts on the role of the priesthood in our marriage and family?

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Why this works

Critical for understanding how you'll approach the priesthood in your marriage and ensure you're both committed to the same understanding of priesthood roles and responsibilities.

How to Have Meaningful Pre-Marriage Conversations in the LDS Faith

Expert tips and techniques for getting the most out of these questions.

Best Practices

Focus on Spiritual Compatibility

Prioritize discussions about spiritual goals, temple marriage, and gospel principles. These are the foundation of an LDS marriage and should be the primary focus of your conversations.

Seek Personal Revelation

Pray together and individually about your relationship and future. Seek confirmation from the Spirit that you're making the right decision and that you're compatible spiritually.

Discuss Practical Applications

Talk about how you'll apply gospel principles in your daily life, including family prayer, scripture study, and church service. Focus on practical ways to live your faith together.

Consider Eternal Perspective

Keep the eternal perspective in mind during your discussions. Remember that marriage is not just for this life but for eternity, and your decisions should reflect that understanding.

Question Sequences

The Spiritual Foundation Sequence

1
Start with: 'How do you envision our temple marriage and what does it mean to you?'
2
Follow with: 'What are your thoughts on family prayer, scripture study, and home evening?'
3
Deepen with: 'How do you want to approach personal revelation and decision-making in our marriage?'

The Family Life Sequence

1
Begin with: 'What are your thoughts on family planning and having children?'
2
Explore with: 'How do you want to approach family home evening and teaching our children?'
3
Connect with: 'What are your thoughts on education and how do you want to approach our children's schooling?'

Common Pitfalls

Don't Avoid Difficult Topics

Avoiding discussions about difficult topics like family planning, financial priorities, or church service will only create problems later. Address these issues before making a commitment.

Avoid Making Assumptions

Don't assume that your partner shares your views on gospel principles or church practices. Ask direct questions and listen to their actual responses.

Don't Rush the Process

These conversations take time and may need to happen over multiple discussions. Don't try to cover everything in one conversation, and take time to pray about what you learn.

Avoid Getting Defensive

If you hear answers that concern you, don't get defensive or try to change their mind. Focus on understanding their perspective and discussing how to address differences.

Conversation Templates

The Spiritual Compatibility Approach

1
Step 1: Start with temple marriage and eternal perspective
2
Step 2: Explore spiritual practices and gospel principles
3
Step 3: Discuss church service and callings
4
Step 4: Examine family planning and children
5
Step 5: End with personal growth and spiritual development

The Family-Centered Method

1
Step 1: Ask about family prayer and scripture study
2
Step 2: Explore family home evening and teaching children
3
Step 3: Discuss family traditions and celebrations
4
Step 4: Examine family relationships and dynamics
5
Step 5: Connect on shared family goals and values

Further Reading

"The Family: A Proclamation to the World" by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints
"Preparing for an Eternal Marriage" by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints
LDS Family Services Resources
Temple Marriage Preparation Materials

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