LDS Questions to Ask Before Marriage
Essential questions for LDS couples to discuss before marriage that help ensure spiritual compatibility, shared values, and alignment on important religious and family matters.
1How do you envision our temple marriage and what does it mean to you?
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How do you envision our temple marriage and what does it mean to you?
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Why this works
Fundamental question that reveals their understanding of temple marriage and ensures you're both committed to the same spiritual goals and eternal perspective on your relationship.
2What are your thoughts on family prayer, scripture study, and home evening?
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What are your thoughts on family prayer, scripture study, and home evening?
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Why this works
Critical for understanding how you'll maintain spiritual practices in your home and ensures you're both committed to creating a gospel-centered family environment.
3How do you want to handle callings and church service in our marriage?
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How do you want to handle callings and church service in our marriage?
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Why this works
Important for understanding how you'll balance individual callings with family responsibilities and support each other in church service.
4What are your views on tithing and financial priorities in our family?
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What are your views on tithing and financial priorities in our family?
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Why this works
Essential for ensuring financial compatibility and shared commitment to gospel principles, especially regarding tithing and other financial obligations.
5How do you want to approach family planning and having children?
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How do you want to approach family planning and having children?
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Why this works
Critical for understanding your views on children, timing, and family size, ensuring you're both aligned on this important aspect of LDS family life.
6What are your thoughts on the Word of Wisdom and how do you want to live it?
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What are your thoughts on the Word of Wisdom and how do you want to live it?
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Why this works
Important for ensuring you're both committed to living the Word of Wisdom and have similar standards regarding health and lifestyle choices.
7How do you want to handle disagreements about gospel principles or church policies?
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How do you want to handle disagreements about gospel principles or church policies?
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Why this works
Reveals your approach to navigating differences in understanding or interpretation of gospel principles, which is crucial for maintaining unity in an LDS marriage.
8What are your thoughts on education and career goals in relation to family responsibilities?
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What are your thoughts on education and career goals in relation to family responsibilities?
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Why this works
Important for understanding how you'll balance individual goals with family priorities and ensure you're both committed to the same vision for your family's future.
9How do you want to approach family history work and temple ordinances?
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How do you want to approach family history work and temple ordinances?
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Why this works
Reveals your commitment to temple work and family history, ensuring you're both dedicated to this important aspect of LDS life and eternal families.
10What are your thoughts on mission service and how do you want to support each other in callings?
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What are your thoughts on mission service and how do you want to support each other in callings?
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Why this works
Important for understanding how you'll support each other in church service and whether you're both committed to serving missions if called.
11How do you want to handle family traditions and holiday celebrations?
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How do you want to handle family traditions and holiday celebrations?
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Why this works
Reveals your approach to creating family traditions and celebrating holidays in a way that's consistent with LDS values and teachings.
12What are your thoughts on media consumption and entertainment choices?
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What are your thoughts on media consumption and entertainment choices?
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Why this works
Important for ensuring you're both committed to choosing media and entertainment that's consistent with LDS values and standards.
13How do you want to approach family home evening and teaching our children?
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How do you want to approach family home evening and teaching our children?
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Why this works
Critical for understanding how you'll teach your children the gospel and create a home environment that supports their spiritual development.
14What are your thoughts on education and how do you want to approach our children's schooling?
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What are your thoughts on education and how do you want to approach our children's schooling?
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Why this works
Important for understanding your views on education and ensuring you're both committed to the same approach to your children's learning and development.
15How do you want to handle family relationships and in-law dynamics?
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How do you want to handle family relationships and in-law dynamics?
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Why this works
Reveals your approach to family relationships and helps ensure you're both committed to maintaining good relationships with extended family while prioritizing your marriage.
16What are your thoughts on financial planning and how do you want to approach money management?
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What are your thoughts on financial planning and how do you want to approach money management?
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Why this works
Important for ensuring you're both committed to the same financial principles and have similar approaches to money management and financial planning.
17How do you want to approach personal revelation and decision-making in our marriage?
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How do you want to approach personal revelation and decision-making in our marriage?
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Why this works
Critical for understanding how you'll seek and receive personal revelation together and ensure you're both committed to following the Spirit in your marriage.
18What are your thoughts on service and how do you want to serve others together?
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What are your thoughts on service and how do you want to serve others together?
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Why this works
Reveals your commitment to service and helps ensure you're both dedicated to serving others and making a positive impact in your community.
19How do you want to approach personal growth and spiritual development in our marriage?
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How do you want to approach personal growth and spiritual development in our marriage?
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Why this works
Important for understanding how you'll support each other's spiritual growth and ensure you're both committed to continuing to develop your testimonies and relationship with God.
20What are your thoughts on the role of the priesthood in our marriage and family?
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What are your thoughts on the role of the priesthood in our marriage and family?
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Why this works
Critical for understanding how you'll approach the priesthood in your marriage and ensure you're both committed to the same understanding of priesthood roles and responsibilities.
How to Have Meaningful Pre-Marriage Conversations in the LDS Faith
Expert tips and techniques for getting the most out of these questions.
Best Practices
Focus on Spiritual Compatibility
Prioritize discussions about spiritual goals, temple marriage, and gospel principles. These are the foundation of an LDS marriage and should be the primary focus of your conversations.
Seek Personal Revelation
Pray together and individually about your relationship and future. Seek confirmation from the Spirit that you're making the right decision and that you're compatible spiritually.
Discuss Practical Applications
Talk about how you'll apply gospel principles in your daily life, including family prayer, scripture study, and church service. Focus on practical ways to live your faith together.
Consider Eternal Perspective
Keep the eternal perspective in mind during your discussions. Remember that marriage is not just for this life but for eternity, and your decisions should reflect that understanding.
Question Sequences
The Spiritual Foundation Sequence
The Family Life Sequence
Common Pitfalls
Don't Avoid Difficult Topics
Avoiding discussions about difficult topics like family planning, financial priorities, or church service will only create problems later. Address these issues before making a commitment.
Avoid Making Assumptions
Don't assume that your partner shares your views on gospel principles or church practices. Ask direct questions and listen to their actual responses.
Don't Rush the Process
These conversations take time and may need to happen over multiple discussions. Don't try to cover everything in one conversation, and take time to pray about what you learn.
Avoid Getting Defensive
If you hear answers that concern you, don't get defensive or try to change their mind. Focus on understanding their perspective and discussing how to address differences.