20 Questions

Christian Dating Questions to Ask Before Marriage

Essential questions to explore faith, values, and spiritual compatibility before making the lifelong commitment of Christian marriage.

1

How would you describe your relationship with God and how has it evolved?

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Why this works

Reveals the depth of their faith and spiritual journey, providing insight into their personal relationship with God and spiritual maturity.

2

What role do you envision God playing in our marriage and family life?

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Why this works

Explores how they see God's presence in daily life and reveals their understanding of spiritual leadership and partnership in marriage.

3

How do you practice your faith on a daily basis and what spiritual disciplines are important to you?

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Why this works

Shows practical faith application and reveals spiritual habits that will influence daily life and family spiritual practices.

4

What are your thoughts on prayer as a couple and how do you envision praying together?

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Why this works

Explores expectations about spiritual intimacy and reveals their understanding of prayer as a foundation for marital connection.

5

How do you handle spiritual struggles or times when you feel distant from God?

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Why this works

Reveals their approach to spiritual challenges and shows how they maintain faith during difficult periods, which is crucial for marital support.

6

What are your thoughts on church involvement and how do you see us serving together?

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Why this works

Explores expectations about church community and reveals their vision for shared ministry and service as a couple.

7

How do you envision raising children in the faith and what spiritual values are most important to you?

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Why this works

Reveals parenting philosophy and spiritual priorities that will guide family decisions and children's spiritual development.

8

What are your thoughts on biblical roles in marriage and how do you see us complementing each other?

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Why this works

Explores understanding of biblical marriage principles and reveals expectations about roles and responsibilities in the relationship.

9

How do you handle disagreements about spiritual matters or biblical interpretation?

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Why this works

Shows approach to spiritual differences and reveals their ability to maintain unity while respecting different perspectives on faith.

10

What are your thoughts on tithing and financial stewardship as a couple?

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Why this works

Explores financial values and reveals their understanding of biblical principles about money and generosity in marriage.

11

How do you envision maintaining spiritual intimacy and connection in our marriage?

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Why this works

Reveals their understanding of spiritual connection in marriage and shows how they plan to maintain faith-centered intimacy.

12

What are your thoughts on forgiveness and how do you handle conflict from a biblical perspective?

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Why this works

Shows understanding of biblical forgiveness and reveals their approach to conflict resolution based on Christian principles.

13

How do you see us supporting each other's spiritual growth and calling?

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Why this works

Explores commitment to mutual spiritual development and reveals their understanding of supporting each other's God-given purposes.

14

What are your thoughts on biblical boundaries in relationships and how do you maintain purity?

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Why this works

Reveals their understanding of biblical relationship principles and shows their commitment to maintaining godly standards in dating and marriage.

15

How do you handle spiritual leadership and what does that look like to you?

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Why this works

Explores understanding of spiritual leadership roles and reveals their approach to leading and following in spiritual matters.

16

What are your thoughts on biblical submission and how do you understand it in the context of marriage?

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Why this works

Reveals their understanding of biblical marriage principles and shows their approach to mutual respect and partnership in marriage.

17

How do you envision handling spiritual differences with extended family or friends?

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Why this works

Shows approach to maintaining faith while respecting others' beliefs and reveals their ability to navigate spiritual differences in relationships.

18

What are your thoughts on biblical counseling and how do you see us seeking help when needed?

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Why this works

Reveals their openness to spiritual guidance and shows their understanding of the importance of seeking wise counsel in marriage.

19

How do you envision our marriage being a witness to others and what does that mean to you?

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Why this works

Explores their vision for marriage as ministry and reveals their understanding of how marriage can reflect God's love to others.

20

What are your thoughts on biblical love and how do you understand loving each other as Christ loves the church?

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Why this works

Reveals their understanding of biblical love principles and shows their commitment to loving sacrificially and unconditionally in marriage.

Best Practices for Christian Dating Conversations

Expert tips and techniques for getting the most out of these questions.

Best Practices

Pray Together Before and After Conversations

Begin and end important discussions with prayer, inviting God's wisdom and guidance into your relationship decisions.

Study Scripture Together

Read and discuss relevant Bible passages about marriage, love, and relationships to ensure your understanding is grounded in biblical truth.

Seek Wise Counsel

Involve trusted spiritual mentors, pastors, or Christian counselors who can provide biblical guidance and wisdom for your relationship.

Question Sequences

The Faith Foundation Sequence

1
How would you describe your relationship with God?
2
What role do you envision God playing in our marriage?
3
How do you practice your faith daily?
4
What are your thoughts on prayer as a couple?

The Marriage Vision Sequence

1
How do you envision raising children in the faith?
2
What are your thoughts on biblical roles in marriage?
3
How do you see us serving together?
4
What does spiritual intimacy mean to you?

Common Pitfalls

Don't Assume Shared Beliefs

Even within Christianity, there are different denominations and interpretations. Discuss specific beliefs and practices to ensure compatibility.

Don't Rush Spiritual Intimacy

While spiritual connection is important, maintain appropriate boundaries and avoid using spiritual intimacy as a substitute for emotional or physical boundaries.

Don't Ignore Practical Matters

While spiritual compatibility is crucial, also discuss practical aspects of marriage like finances, career goals, and family planning.

Conversation Templates

The Faith Exploration

1
Step 1: Start with: "How would you describe your relationship with God?"
2
Step 2: Follow with: "What role do you envision God playing in our marriage?"
3
Step 3: Deepen with: "How do you practice your faith daily?"
4
Step 4: Conclude with: "What are your thoughts on prayer as a couple?"

The Marriage Vision

1
Step 1: Begin with: "How do you envision raising children in the faith?"
2
Step 2: Explore with: "What are your thoughts on biblical roles in marriage?"
3
Step 3: Investigate with: "How do you see us serving together?"
4
Step 4: Clarify with: "What does spiritual intimacy mean to you?"

Further Reading

"The Meaning of Marriage" by Timothy Keller
"Sacred Marriage" by Gary Thomas
"The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman

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