20 Questions

Questions to Ask Before Marriage (Christian)

Essential questions for Christian couples to discuss before marriage, covering faith, values, family, and spiritual growth together.

1

How do you envision our spiritual life together as a married couple?

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Why this works

Understanding each other's spiritual expectations helps ensure you're aligned on faith practices and growth.

2

What role do you want God to play in our marriage?

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Why this works

Ensures you both want God at the center of your relationship and understand how to seek His guidance together.

3

How do you handle conflict and what role does forgiveness play in your relationships?

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Why this works

Understanding conflict resolution styles and forgiveness is crucial for a healthy, Christ-centered marriage.

4

What are your views on tithing and financial stewardship?

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Why this works

Financial values and giving practices should align, especially regarding church support and charitable giving.

5

How do you want to raise our children in the faith?

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Why this works

Ensures you're aligned on spiritual education, church involvement, and faith formation for future children.

6

What does submission and leadership look like in a Christian marriage to you?

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Why this works

Understanding biblical roles and mutual respect is essential for a harmonious Christian marriage.

7

How do you handle stress and what role does prayer play in your life?

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Why this works

Understanding coping mechanisms and spiritual practices helps you support each other during difficult times.

8

What are your views on premarital counseling and ongoing marriage enrichment?

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Why this works

Shows commitment to investing in your marriage and seeking wisdom from mentors and counselors.

9

How do you want to serve God together as a couple?

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Why this works

Understanding shared ministry and service opportunities helps you grow together in faith and purpose.

10

What are your expectations for church involvement and community?

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Why this works

Ensures you're aligned on church participation, small groups, and Christian community involvement.

11

How do you handle temptation and what boundaries do you want in our relationship?

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Why this works

Understanding personal boundaries and accountability helps protect your marriage from potential threats.

12

What role do you want extended family to play in our marriage?

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Why this works

Understanding family dynamics and boundaries helps prevent conflicts and maintain healthy relationships.

13

How do you want to handle major life decisions as a couple?

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Why this works

Ensures you both want to seek God's will together and make decisions as a unified team.

14

What are your views on intimacy and what does a godly marriage look like to you?

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Why this works

Understanding expectations for physical and emotional intimacy within Christian marriage principles.

15

How do you want to handle disagreements about faith or church practices?

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Why this works

Prepares you for potential differences in spiritual practices and ensures you can navigate them lovingly.

16

What are your goals for spiritual growth as individuals and as a couple?

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Why this works

Understanding growth goals helps you support each other's spiritual development and journey together.

17

How do you want to handle holidays and religious celebrations?

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Why this works

Ensures you're aligned on how to celebrate and honor God during special times and seasons.

18

What does forgiveness look like to you, and how do you want to handle mistakes in our marriage?

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Why this works

Understanding forgiveness practices helps you build a marriage based on grace and unconditional love.

19

How do you want to handle career decisions and how does God's calling factor in?

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Why this works

Ensures you both want to seek God's will in career choices and support each other's callings.

20

What are your views on divorce and what would make you consider ending our marriage?

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Why this works

Understanding commitment levels and biblical views on marriage helps ensure you're both fully committed.

Preparing for a Christ-Centered Marriage

Expert tips and techniques for getting the most out of these questions.

Building Your Spiritual Foundation

Pray Together Regularly

Establish the habit of praying together daily, seeking God's guidance for your relationship and future.

Study Scripture Together

Read and discuss biblical passages about marriage, love, and relationships to build a shared understanding.

Attend Premarital Counseling

Seek guidance from your pastor or a Christian counselor to prepare for the challenges and joys of marriage.

Essential Discussion Topics

Faith and Values

Personal relationship with God
Church involvement and community
Spiritual practices and disciplines
Biblical worldview and values

Marriage and Family

Roles and responsibilities in marriage
Parenting philosophy and discipline
Extended family relationships
Financial stewardship and giving

Communication and Conflict

Conflict resolution strategies
Communication styles and preferences
Forgiveness and reconciliation
Boundaries and expectations

Practical Preparation Steps

Create a Marriage Mission Statement

Write down your shared vision for your marriage, including your goals and values as a couple.

Establish Financial Plans

Discuss budgeting, giving, savings goals, and how you'll make financial decisions together.

Plan for Spiritual Growth

Decide how you'll grow together spiritually through prayer, study, service, and community involvement.

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