20 Questions

Questions to Ask in Christian Dating

Meaningful questions to explore faith, values, and compatibility in Christian dating relationships, helping you build a foundation based on shared spiritual beliefs.

1

How would you describe your relationship with God and how it has grown over time?

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Why this works

Reveals their spiritual journey and current faith level, helping you understand how central God is in their life and how they've developed their relationship with Him.

2

What does prayer look like in your daily life, and how do you approach it?

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Why this works

Shows their spiritual discipline and how they maintain their connection with God, revealing whether they have an active prayer life.

3

How do you handle difficult times or struggles in your faith?

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Why this works

Reveals their spiritual maturity and how they process challenges, showing whether they turn to God during difficult seasons.

4

What role does the Bible play in your life, and how do you study it?

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Why this works

Shows their commitment to Scripture and how they approach Bible study, revealing their understanding of God's Word and its importance to them.

5

How do you see God working in your life right now?

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Why this works

Reveals their awareness of God's presence and activity in their daily life, showing whether they recognize His hand in their circumstances.

6

What does it mean to you to be a Christian in today's world?

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Why this works

Shows their understanding of Christian living and how they navigate faith in modern society, revealing their values and approach to Christian witness.

7

How do you handle disagreements or conflicts in a way that honors God?

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Why this works

Reveals their approach to conflict resolution and whether they seek to resolve issues in a Christ-like manner.

8

What is your understanding of God's will and how do you seek to discern it?

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Why this works

Shows their approach to decision-making and whether they seek God's guidance in important life choices.

9

How do you serve others and what does Christian service look like to you?

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Why this works

Reveals their heart for others and how they live out their faith through service, showing their understanding of Christian love and compassion.

10

What does it mean to you to love God with all your heart, soul, and mind?

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Why this works

Shows their understanding of the greatest commandment and how they seek to love God completely in all aspects of their life.

11

How do you handle temptation and what strategies do you use to resist it?

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Why this works

Reveals their spiritual discipline and how they rely on God's strength to overcome challenges and temptations.

12

What is your understanding of grace and how has it impacted your life?

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Why this works

Shows their grasp of this fundamental Christian concept and how it has shaped their understanding of God's love and forgiveness.

13

How do you approach giving and what does generosity mean to you as a Christian?

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Why this works

Reveals their understanding of stewardship and how they view their resources in light of their faith.

14

What does it mean to you to be part of a Christian community or church?

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Why this works

Shows their commitment to Christian fellowship and how they view their role in the body of Christ.

15

How do you handle doubt and questions about your faith?

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Why this works

Reveals their approach to intellectual honesty and how they process questions or uncertainties about their beliefs.

16

What is your understanding of God's love and how do you experience it?

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Why this works

Shows their personal experience of God's love and how it has shaped their understanding of love in relationships.

17

How do you approach dating and relationships from a Christian perspective?

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Why this works

Reveals their understanding of Christian dating principles and how they seek to honor God in their relationships.

18

What does it mean to you to be equally yoked with someone in a relationship?

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Why this works

Shows their understanding of this biblical principle and how they view spiritual compatibility in relationships.

19

How do you handle forgiveness and what does it look like in your life?

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Why this works

Reveals their understanding of forgiveness and how they practice it, showing their grasp of this essential Christian virtue.

20

What is your vision for how faith would play a role in a future marriage or family?

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Why this works

Shows their long-term thinking about faith in relationships and how they envision integrating their spiritual life with a partner.

How to Have Meaningful Christian Dating Conversations

Expert tips and techniques for getting the most out of these questions.

Best Practices

Create a Safe, Non-Judgmental Space

Approach spiritual conversations with grace and understanding. Avoid making judgments about their faith journey or spiritual maturity.

Share Your Own Faith Journey

Be open about your own spiritual experiences and struggles. This creates mutual trust and encourages deeper sharing.

Focus on Understanding, Not Converting

The goal is to understand their faith and values, not to change their beliefs or convince them of your perspective.

Question Sequences

The Faith Foundation Series

1
How would you describe your relationship with God?
2
What role does the Bible play in your life?
3
How do you handle difficult times in your faith?
4
What does it mean to you to be a Christian today?

The Relationship and Values Series

1
How do you approach dating from a Christian perspective?
2
What does it mean to be equally yoked?
3
How do you handle conflicts in a way that honors God?
4
What is your vision for faith in a future marriage?

Common Pitfalls

Don't Make It an Interview

Space out your questions with natural conversation and your own spiritual experiences. The goal is dialogue, not interrogation.

Don't Judge or Criticize

Avoid making judgments about their faith journey or spiritual practices. Everyone's relationship with God is unique and personal.

Don't Focus Only on Doctrine

While theological understanding matters, also explore their personal relationship with God and how faith impacts their daily life.

Conversation Templates

The Spiritual Connection Session

1
Step 1: Start with a question about their relationship with God
2
Step 2: Share your own spiritual experiences
3
Step 3: Ask follow-up questions to understand their journey
4
Step 4: Discuss how faith impacts daily life
5
Step 5: Explore shared values and beliefs

The Future Vision Discussion

1
Step 1: Ask about their vision for faith in relationships
2
Step 2: Discuss what being equally yoked means to them
3
Step 3: Explore how they envision raising a family in faith
4
Step 4: Share your own hopes and dreams
5
Step 5: Discuss how you might grow together spiritually

Further Reading

"The Sacred Search" by Gary Thomas
"Boundaries in Dating" by Henry Cloud and John Townsend
"The Meaning of Marriage" by Timothy Keller
Christian dating and relationship resources

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