New Year Questions to Ask
For anyone asking other people at the turn of the year: family and kids at the table on New Year's Eve, friends at a party, a partner, a team at its first meeting in January, or followers on an Instagram story. The 51 questions are grouped by who you are asking (Family, Kids, Friends, Partner, Team and Stories), and each group starts with the year just gone and then turns to resolutions and the year ahead.
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The questions
Each question, and why to ask it
Family
What was the best day our family had this year?
Why ask it
Start here, because everyone from a five-year-old to a grandparent has an answer. Good answers are small and exact, like the day the car broke down and everyone ended up eating ice cream at a gas station. If two people name the same day, that is the one to repeat next year.
What did someone at this table do this year that deserves a round of applause?
Why ask it
The rule is that nobody may nominate themselves, and the table really does applaud. Watch that the quiet ones get named too. If someone is left out after a full lap, nominate them yourself.
Which photo from this year should go in a frame?
Why ask it
Phones come out for this one, and that is fine: scrolling back through the camera roll together reminds people of months they had forgotten. Have the winner printed in January so the answer turns into something on a wall.
What did we say we would do this year that never happened?
Why ask it
Keep it light, since the camping trip that never got booked is nobody's fault in particular. Whatever gets the loudest groan goes on the calendar with a date before the evening ends, or it will be the answer again next year.
What is your New Year's resolution, and what could the rest of us do to help?
Why ask it
The question the night is named for, so ask it plainly and let 'I don't make them' count as an answer. Asking how to help is what makes it a family question: a plan to run before work needs somebody else on the school drop-off. Never hand anyone a resolution you think they should have.
What is one prediction you would make for someone else at this table next year?
Why ask it
Predictions have to be kind and specific: a driving test passed, a first tooth lost, a garden that finally produces a tomato. Write them down and read them back in twelve months, which is the real payoff.
Where should we go together next year, even if it is only for a day?
Why ask it
The 'only for a day' part keeps it from turning into a budget discussion. Teenagers often answer this more readily than anything about feelings, and a day trip a teenager chose is one they are likelier to show up for.
What do we do every New Year's Eve that you would miss if we stopped?
Why ask it
The answers show which rituals are loved and which are only habit: the board game, the banging of pots, the same movie. If nobody can name anything, that is your cue to invent one tonight.
Where were you at midnight on a New Year's Eve you still remember?
Why ask it
Aim it at the oldest person in the room first. You tend to get a street party, a night shift or the year the power went out, and the children hear about a time when their grandparents were young and out late. Ask who else was there, and save it for the last stretch before twelve.
Kids
What was the best thing that happened to you this year?
Why ask it
Small children tend to answer with whatever happened last week, so offer a few reminders: the birthday, the trip, the new classroom. Don't correct the choice. If the answer is a hamster and not the expensive vacation, the hamster is the right answer.
What did you learn to do this year that was hard at first?
Why ask it
Riding without training wheels, tying shoes, reading a chapter book, long division. Ask them how it felt before they could do it, because that is the part worth hearing themselves say when the next hard thing arrives.
What was the funniest thing that happened this year?
Why ask it
Be ready for a story in which you are the punchline. Let them tell it all the way through without fixing the details, even if the version has grown a good deal since it happened.
Who was a good friend to you this year, and what did they do?
Why ask it
Asking what the friend did turns a name into a story: she shared her snack, he waited at the gate. A child who cannot think of anyone may be telling you something too, and that is better followed up gently and alone than in front of the whole table.
What do you want to get better at next year?
Why ask it
This is the child-sized version of a resolution, and it works when the answer is theirs: cartwheels, drawing horses, a video game. Resist steering it toward homework or tidying, and ask what one thing you could do to help.
What is something new you want to try next year: a food, a sport or a place?
Why ask it
Giving three categories helps a child who freezes at open questions. Pick one answer that is cheap and close and do it in January, so they learn that saying a wish out loud can make it happen.
If you were in charge of the family for one whole day next year, what would we do?
Why ask it
Expect pancakes for dinner and no bedtime. Underneath the silliness is a fairly accurate list of what they love, and one item from it is usually easy to grant.
What resolution should the grown-ups make?
Why ask it
Children are sharp observers, so brace yourself: 'less phone' and 'stop saying in a minute' are common. Take it with a straight face and thank them. Laugh it off and they may keep the true thing to themselves next time.
Friends
What is the fastest you have ever broken a New Year's resolution?
Why ask it
A good opener for a party, because the answer is a confession nobody minds making. Ask for the date and the exact moment it fell apart: a gym membership abandoned on January 3 beats a vague 'pretty quickly'.
What was the highlight of your year that never made it to the group chat?
Why ask it
Friends already know the headlines: the new job, the wedding, the move. This asks for the one they missed, which is often smaller and better, like a solo trip or a phone call that mended something. If someone says nothing much happened, ask for their best ordinary week.
If your year had a theme song, what was it?
Why ask it
Make people say why, since the reason is the answer. If someone has their music app's year-end summary to hand, the real top track is often funnier than the one they would have chosen.
What did you spend far too many hours on this year, with no regrets?
Why ask it
Sourdough, a single video game, one show watched from start to finish twice, a neighbor's parking habits. It tells you what your friends were really doing while the group chat was quiet.
What was the best meal you ate this year, and where?
Why ask it
People answer with a place and a person as much as a dish, so ask who was across the table. Keep a note of any restaurant named: it is a ready-made plan for the group in the new year.
If this group handed out awards for the year, who wins what?
Why ask it
Best comeback, most canceled plans, bravest haircut. Keep the categories affectionate, and make sure that by the end everybody has won something.
What is the worst New Year's Eve you have ever had?
Why ask it
Bad ones make better stories than good ones: the party nobody could find, the cab that never came, asleep by ten. It also takes the pressure off tonight, since everyone hears that the big night rarely goes to plan.
What are you not doing next year, no matter who asks?
Why ask it
An anti-resolution, and often more honest than the regular kind. Listen for the serious one hiding among the jokes, like the friend who is done hosting every holiday, and back them up when the time comes.
If you picked one word for next year in place of a resolution, what would it be?
Why ask it
It suits the friends who have sworn off resolutions, since a word cannot be broken by the second week. Ask what it would change on a normal weekday: 'slower' might mean no plans on Sundays. If the word is as tidy as 'balance', ask what last year's would have been.
If next year were a chapter in your life story, what would the title be?
Why ask it
Save it for late in the evening, when people have warmed up. A title like 'The Year I Finally Move' is a friend telling you their plan, so ask what the first page looks like and check in on it around March.
Partner
Which day of ours from this year would you live over again?
Why ask it
Each of you pick before either says it, because choosing different days is the interesting result. You learn what the other person counts as a good day, and it is very often a plain one with nothing booked.
When did we feel most like a team this year?
Why ask it
Often it is a hard week: a move, a sick child, a deadline one of you carried the other through. Notice what each of you did in that stretch. A long silence here is worth talking about on a calm day, not at five minutes to midnight.
What did I do this year that helped more than I knew?
Why ask it
It asks for thanks without fishing, because the answer is usually something the asker has forgotten: taking the morning shift, a text before an interview. Just listen, and keep doing whatever is named.
What was hard for us this year that we handled better than we used to?
Why ask it
This lets a couple talk about a rough patch from the side of what went right. If your partner says nothing was handled better, don't argue the point. Ask what they wish had gone differently and only listen: tonight is not the night to fix it.
What do you want our weekends to look like next year?
Why ask it
Weekends are where a year gets spent, so this is more useful than asking about big goals. One of you wanting more plans and the other wanting fewer is common, and it is easier to split the difference in January than in the middle of a tired Saturday.
What is one thing you want for yourself next year, and how can I back you on it?
Why ask it
How you can back them is the part to listen to. A good answer names something practical, like two free evenings a week or not being teased about it. Ask before you offer advice, since few people want a coach at home.
What is the one thing we should spend money on next year, and what should we stop paying for?
Why ask it
Money talk goes better as two small choices than as a full budget review on a holiday. If the answers clash, write both down and set a date in January to go through the real numbers.
Where do you want us to be this time next year?
Why ask it
Some people answer with a place, others with a state of things: less debt, a bigger family, more sleep. Both count. Say your own answer out loud too, since a difference found tonight is far easier than one found in November.
Team
What was a win from last year that we never properly celebrated?
Why ask it
Good for the first meeting back, when nobody wants to open a spreadsheet yet. The answers tend to be quiet work, like a migration that caused no outage or a client who nearly left and stayed. Thank the people involved by name, on the spot.
Who helped you most last year, and what exactly did they do?
Why ask it
Insist on the 'exactly'. 'She read my deck the night before and caught the wrong figure' shows the team what help looks like, and 'everyone was great' shows nothing. If the same two names keep coming up, look at how much unseen work they are carrying.
What did you learn last year that the rest of us should borrow?
Why ask it
Ask for something small enough to copy on Monday: a template, a way of running a handover, a keyboard shortcut. Collect the answers in one shared document, otherwise they are gone by the end of the meeting.
What slowed us down last year that we should fix before things get busy?
Why ask it
People say this more freely in the first week back, before the year's deadlines make it sound like an excuse. Aim it at processes and tools, and if an answer points at a person, take it to a private conversation. Pick one item and give it an owner before the meeting ends.
What should we stop doing this year?
Why ask it
Most Januaries add things to a team's list, and few take anything off. A useful answer names a specific meeting, report or approval step. If the room goes quiet, offer one yourself, because people need to see that it is safe to name a thing the manager started.
If we could get only one thing done this year, what should it be?
Why ask it
Have everyone write an answer down before anyone speaks, then read them out. Five different answers from five people is not a failure of the exercise. It is the finding, and it is cheaper to learn in the first week of January than in June.
What do you want to be trusted with this year that you weren't last year?
Why ask it
Better asked one to one than in front of the group, where people give the safe answer. A good reply is concrete: running the client call, owning a budget line, reviewing someone else's work. Whether you can offer it, and what training or sign-off it needs, depends on your employer, so find out before you promise anything.
What would make this a good year for you, apart from the targets?
Why ask it
Answers range from leaving on time on Thursdays to finally presenting to a client. Don't push anyone to share more of their home life than they offer. Write down what you hear and bring it up again at midyear, when it means the most.
Stories
Sum up your year in three words.
Why ask it
Short enough to answer from a lock screen, which is why it suits a question sticker. Share a handful of the replies with the names hidden, and add your own three so it reads as a conversation and not a survey.
Midnight countdown, or asleep by ten?
Why ask it
Run it as a two-option poll on the afternoon of the 31st. It takes one tap, and the asleep-by-ten side is often bigger than anyone admits in person. Post the result before the evening starts.
What is your resolution, and what are the odds it lasts past January?
Why ask it
Asking for the odds gives people permission to be funny about it, so people who would scroll past a plain 'what's your resolution' may answer. Anyone who answers with real confidence has earned a follow-up message in February.
What are you proud of from this year that you never posted about?
Why ask it
The replies arrive privately, and some are bigger than you expect: a debt paid off, a first 5K finished, a hard conversation finally had. Write back to each one yourself, and ask before reposting any of them, since the person chose not to post it once already.
Recommend one thing from this year: a book, a show, a place or a recipe.
Why ask it
You end up with a list worth saving, so collect the replies into one slide or a highlight. Most people like being asked for their taste, which makes this an easy first question for followers who never usually reply.
What is in and what is out for the new year?
Why ask it
The ins-and-outs list is a lighter cousin of the resolution: 'in: walks, out: answering email at night'. Post your own first so people see the format. The silly entries are the ones that get screenshotted and passed on.
What is staying behind in the old year and not coming with you?
Why ask it
Expect a mix of jokes (skinny jeans, a certain app) and real ones (a job, a grudge). Don't press anyone in public on a reply that sounds heavy. A private 'that sounded like a lot, how are you doing?' is the right follow-up.
What is one thing you are looking forward to in the first month of the year?
Why ask it
A good one for January 1 itself, when the party is over and the month ahead looks long. Answers are concrete, such as a concert, a first day or a visit, and they give you a reason to message that person again when the day comes.
How to ask New Year questions without making it homework
Practical guidance for the conversation itself
Setting up a New Year round
Pick the group, then pick three
Nobody wants all of these in one evening. Find the group that matches who is in front of you (Family, Kids, Friends, Partner, Team or Stories) and choose three questions from it. If the first one has the table arguing about the camping trip for twenty minutes, the other two were only spares.
Look back before you look ahead
Each group opens with the year just gone and then turns to the year to come, and that order matters. Asked cold, 'what's your resolution?' tends to get the stock answer about exercise. Asked after someone has remembered their best day and the plan that never happened, it is more likely to get a real one.
Give your own answer first, in two sentences
Whoever asks sets the length. Answer first with two or three sentences and one real detail, such as the date and what you were eating, and the table will copy that. A five-minute review of the host's year tells everyone to settle in for speeches.
Remember that not everyone had a good year
Someone in the room may have lost a job or a person since last January. Tell people before the first question that 'pass' is a full answer, and lean on the questions with small answers, like the best meal or the funniest moment, which can be answered even after a hard twelve months.
Ways to ask, by setting
The jar on the table
Write eight or ten questions on slips of paper, fold them and put them in a jar or a bowl. Each person draws one between courses, or in the slow hour before midnight, and everybody answers it. Give the children their own color of paper with the Kids questions so they never draw one meant for adults.
The sealed envelope
Choose two questions that look ahead, such as the prediction for someone else at the table and where the family should go together. Everyone writes their answers, the papers go into an envelope with the date on it, and the envelope is stored with the holiday decorations. Opening it next New Year's Eve becomes the first question of that evening.
The countdown round
For a party that will not sit still for a game: in the last ten minutes before midnight, ask one question and have everyone answer in a single sentence. The clock sets the limit, so nobody has to cut anyone off.
On an Instagram story
Post one question per story. Use the question sticker for the open ones and a poll for the two-option ones, and spread them over the days between Christmas and the first week of January so they do not compete with each other. Share replies with the names hidden unless the person says otherwise.
At a team's first meeting
Two questions and ten minutes is enough: one from the first half of the Team group about last year, one from the second half about this one. Have people write before they speak so the first voice does not set every answer, and put what you hear in a shared document the same day.
When a New Year question lands badly
The resolution talk turns into nagging
Asking about someone's resolution is not an invitation to assign them one. If a relative starts in on another person's weight, job or love life, move to a question about the whole group, like the trip you never took, and come back to resolutions only if the person raises theirs.
Someone's year was worse than you knew
A cheerful question about the best day can run into a year with a funeral or a layoff in it. Don't reach for the bright side, and don't offer a plan for next year. Say you are glad they told you and let them decide whether to go on. If they seemed truly low, call them the next day, when the table is not listening.
The kids lose interest
Two questions is a full session for a young child. Let them turn it around and question the adults, which they usually enjoy more than answering, and stop while it is still fun so they will play again next year.
The team round starts to feel like a review
Say at the start that the answers stay out of anyone's evaluation, and keep that promise. An answer about what someone wants to be trusted with is a hope, not a signed commitment, so don't quote it back to them in the spring as a target they missed.