Questions to Ask 3rd Graders
Questions to ask 3rd graders, for a teacher, substitute, tutor, parent or relative facing a circle, a table or a back seat of eight and nine year olds. The 56 here go from lightest to heaviest: openers, silly ones, school and reading, friends and fairness, feelings, and what they are getting good at. Most can be asked aloud to a whole class, and a few are marked as better on a survey sheet or one to one.
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The questions
Each question, and why to ask it
Openers
What do you like to be called, and is there a story behind your name?
Why ask it
Ask it before you take attendance and write the answers on your list, because a third grader notices right away when a new adult gets the name right. The story, named for a grandmother or chosen by a big brother, hands you a second thing to remember each child by. If there is no story, ask who picked the name.
What do you like to do for fun when you are not at school?
Why ask it
Write the answer next to each name: the swim team, the world they are building in a game, the cousin they ride bikes with. Ask who they do it with, which shows whether fun means a team, one friend or a happy afternoon alone. A tutor can borrow the topic for the next word problem or reading passage.
What are you the class expert on?
Why ask it
Eight and nine year olds collect expertise: sharks, one soccer team, a card game, every kind of slime. Keep the list where you can see it, and send the next shark question to the shark expert instead of answering it yourself.
Would you pick an extra recess, an extra read-aloud or an extra art period?
Why ask it
Three choices make a quick vote: one corner of the room each, and nobody has to speak to take part. Ask one child per corner for a reason. A corner with a single child in it deserves the first turn.
Do you have a pet, or is there a pet you wish you had?
Why ask it
The wish half keeps every child in the question, including the ones whose building or family rules out animals. Follow with what the pet does that is funny, or what the wished-for one would be named. Pet names are easy to bring up again at the next visit.
What did you do this weekend that you would happily do again?
Why ask it
A Monday question. 'Would do again' filters out the long list and gets one thing with some feeling in it. Some weekends are thin, so take 'slept late' or 'watched a movie' as full answers and move on without comment.
What is something most people in this room don't know about you?
Why ask it
Give thirty seconds of thinking time and offer your own first, at about the size you are hoping for: a broken arm, a twin cousin, the town you were born in. Let anyone pass and circle back at the end, when most passers have thought of one.
What is the best thing that ever turns up in your lunch?
Why ask it
Small, daily and easy to rank, so a child who shrugged at everything else will usually answer this. Children who eat the school lunch can name the best day on the menu. Keep it to favorites and leave swapping out of it, since plenty of schools have a no-sharing rule for food because of allergies.
Silly
Would you rather be able to fly or be able to talk to animals?
Why ask it
Start the Silly group here, because nearly every third grader has an answer ready before you finish the sentence. The animal talkers usually have one particular animal in mind, often their own dog or cat, so ask what they would say to it first. Ask the flyers where they would go before dinner.
If you were principal for a day, what silly rule would you make?
Why ask it
The word silly keeps this from sliding into a list of real complaints, and you will get pajamas every Friday, dessert first and teachers doing the homework. Ask what would have gone wrong by lunchtime, which is where the best answers are.
What would be the worst ice cream flavor ever invented?
Why ask it
Gross is the favorite kind of funny at eight, so set the fence before you start: foods only. Pickle toothpaste and tuna bubblegum will appear. Take a class vote on the worst, and expect to hear the winner quoted at lunch.
Would you rather have a dragon the size of a hamster or a hamster the size of a dragon?
Why ask it
Send each choice to a side of the room and ask one voter from each side why. The reasons turn practical fast: what it eats, where it sleeps, whether it is allowed on the bus. Good for the two minutes before lining up.
If your shoes could talk, what would they complain about?
Why ask it
A reluctant writer can manage this as a quick write, because the answer is a list of complaints and every eight year old can produce those: puddles, being kicked off at the door, the smell. Let volunteers read theirs in a shoe voice.
What animal would make the funniest substitute teacher?
Why ask it
If you are the substitute, this buys goodwill in the first five minutes. Ask what the animal would do at math time and how it would take attendance. A relative can swap in babysitter or bus driver.
What riddle or joke do you know that I probably haven't heard?
Why ask it
Riddles are currency in third grade, and so are knock-knocks that go on too long. In a group, take three tellers and put the rest on a list for tomorrow, or the meeting is gone. Groan loudly at the good ones.
Which would be harder for you: a whole day without talking or a whole day without sitting down?
Why ask it
The talkers know who they are, and the class will enjoy guessing each other's answers. A child who says sitting would be easy to give up is describing how a long stretch at a desk feels. Remember it when you choose who hands out the papers.
If one food could rain from the sky for an hour, what should it be, and what would go wrong?
Why ask it
What would go wrong is where the thinking is: syrup in everyone's hair, meatballs denting cars, popcorn that goes soggy. With a mixed group of cousins it works from the youngest up. Draw the scene afterwards if there is paper around.
School
What is your favorite subject, and what do you like about it?
Why ask it
Listen to the reason more than the subject. 'Science, because we get to mix things' is about working with their hands, and 'math, because I'm fast' is about being quick in front of the class. Recess, lunch and gym are honest answers, so take them and ask for a runner-up.
What book are you reading right now, and how did you choose it?
Why ask it
How they chose tells you more than the title: a friend had it, it is next in a series, the cover has a dog on it, the teacher assigned it. A child who can't name a book may still be a reader, so ask about the last one they finished or one they would like read aloud.
Do you like it better when someone reads to you or when you read to yourself?
Why ask it
Plenty of third graders who read well still love being read to, and choosing it says nothing about their level. For a tutor, the answer suggests how to split the half hour. For a grandparent, it is permission to bring a chapter book and start on page one.
Which book character would you want as a new kid in our class?
Why ask it
The pick shows what they are hoping for in a classmate: the funny one, the brave one, the one who gets everybody into trouble. It works as a two-sentence quick write before sharing. Ask where the character would sit and who would have to show them around.
What part of the school day goes by fastest, and what part drags?
Why ask it
The fast part is where they are absorbed. The slow part is not always the hard subject: it can be a long sit on the carpet, the wait in the lunch line or the last twenty minutes before the bell. Ask what would make it move quicker.
What is something in math that finally clicked for you?
Why ask it
'Finally' lets them admit it was hard first. What is taught in third grade math differs from school to school, so ask what the class is on before guessing at times tables. Then hand over a pencil and have them show you one.
When you get stuck on something, what do you do first?
Why ask it
You will hear raise my hand, ask my neighbor, skip it, or just sit there. The just-sit-there child is the one to visit quietly during work time. With a class, chart every answer and the list becomes the thing you point to the next time a hand goes up.
Where in the room do you do your best work?
Why ask it
By the window, on the floor with a clipboard, far from a best friend: third graders tend to know, and they answer honestly when the question is a real one. Use it for seating where you can. Where you can't, say so, since asking and then ignoring the answer costs more than not asking.
What do you wish we had more time for at school?
Why ask it
A good line for a class survey, because the answers can be tallied: science experiments, art, free reading, gym. If one of them is in your power, give it within the week and tell the class where the idea came from.
What would you like to learn about that we haven't studied yet?
Why ask it
Volcanoes, the deep sea, mummies and how video games get made are the sort of thing you will hear. A teacher can treat the answers as a shopping list for the nonfiction shelf and for research topics, and an aunt or uncle has just been told what to bring on the next birthday.
What kind of writing do you like best: stories, facts, lists, comics or none of them?
Why ask it
'None of them' is on the menu on purpose, and a child who takes it has told you something a writing sample would not. Comics and lists are still a way in. Ask the story writers what theirs is about, and be ready to hear the whole plot.
Friends
What do you play at recess, and who decides the rules?
Why ask it
The second half is the question. A lot of recess arguments at this age are about rules, and nearly every game has someone who makes them. You find out who leads, who goes along, and whether the child in front of you thinks it is fair.
What makes someone good to sit next to?
Why ask it
Easier to answer than what makes a good friend, and more concrete: lends an eraser, doesn't hum, helps you find the page, is funny but not during a test. Read the answers before you draw up the next seating chart.
What is the difference between telling and tattling?
Why ask it
Third graders have firm views on this and they do not agree, which makes it a real circle discussion. Ask for a made-up example of each and write them in two columns. Wherever the class draws the line, make sure 'someone could get hurt' ends up on the telling side.
What is something at school that isn't fair, and how would you fix it?
Why ask it
The fix is what turns a complaint into a proposal. You will hear about who gets the good ball, the order of the line and turns on the computer. If a fix is workable, try it for a week and let the child who proposed it report back.
What should you do when two friends both want to be your partner?
Why ask it
It happens often enough that most of the room has a view, and asking it as a what-if means nobody is named. The answers are the class's working rules: whoever asked first, take turns, ask for a group of three. Agree on one and you can point to it later.
How can you tell when someone wants to join a game but is too shy to ask?
Why ask it
It asks them to notice: standing close, watching, holding a ball, laughing at the right moments. Then ask what they could say, and have a few children say the actual words out loud. A sentence that has been practiced once is much easier to use at recess.
What makes a team captain fair when picking teams?
Why ask it
Being picked last is one of the sharper stings of this age, and children have precise ideas about preventing it: count off by numbers, captains may not start with a best friend, last pick is captain next time. Borrow their rule for gym or indoor recess.
What makes a sorry sound real instead of fake?
Why ask it
They are expert at spotting an apology an adult forced. Their list usually runs: look at the person, say what you did, don't smile, don't do it again five minutes later. It is a better guide than a script, and it is theirs, so they can be held to it.
Feelings
What kind of morning did you have: smooth, bumpy or in between?
Why ask it
An arrival check that takes one word. A bumpy does not need its story told in front of the group: say 'thanks for telling me' and find that child later. The pattern over a week matters more than any one morning.
What makes a school day a great day?
Why ask it
They will list ingredients: gym, outdoor recess, a friend in a good mood, the next chapter at read-aloud. Ask it on a day that is going well and again after a hard one, then compare. The ingredient that shows up both times is the one to protect when the schedule gets squeezed.
What makes you a little nervous at school?
Why ask it
Better on paper or one to one than in a circle. Reading aloud, being called on without warning, timed math facts and finding a seat at lunch all get named. If you teach them, the first two can be eased by letting the child know ahead of time which part is theirs.
What helps when you feel like crumpling up your paper?
Why ask it
Most of the room will know the feeling, and naming it this way gets a grin before it gets an answer. Collect what helps into a class list and add to it during the year: a drink of water, a clean page, someone showing the first step, two minutes with a book. A child with no answer needs one offered and tried, not a talk about attitude.
How do you like a grown-up to tell you when you got something wrong?
Why ask it
The usual request is quietly, at the desk, and not in front of everyone. Some want it written on the paper and some want to be shown the right way once. Correct them the way they asked and see whether it goes down easier.
What do you do when you are mad at a friend but still want to be friends?
Why ask it
That is the real problem at eight and nine, when a fight at recess can be over by the bus ride home. Staying away for a while, saying it straight out and pretending nothing happened are all plans you will hear. Ask which one has worked, and leave the choice with them.
Is there a part of the school day when you wish you had someone to be with?
Why ask it
A one-to-one question, never for a group. Recess, the bus, lunch and the moment the teacher says 'find a partner' are the times that get named. The last one a teacher can fix the same day, by assigning partners for a while.
Which grown-up at school would you go to if something was wrong?
Why ask it
Put it on a survey or ask one to one, and leave it alone if you are a substitute or a first-time visitor. Most children name their teacher, and some name the nurse, a lunch aide or last year's teacher. A child who can't think of anyone has told the classroom teacher where to spend a few extra minutes of ordinary attention each day.
What is the bravest thing you have done at school?
Why ask it
Bravery in third grade is small and real: raising a hand without being sure, telling a friend to stop, walking to the office alone, trying out for something. Say back to them that it was brave, because the child telling it may only remember being scared.
What worried you at the start of the year that turned out fine?
Why ask it
Best asked from the middle of the year on. Getting lost, a teacher rumored to be strict and having no friends in the room are typical. A worry that shrank is evidence for the next one, and the answers, with names off, are worth reading to next year's class in week one.
Growing
What can you do now that you couldn't do in second grade?
Why ask it
Ask it in the fall, the winter and the spring and keep the three answers together, so each child ends the year holding their own record. Expect school and playground mixed up in one list: longer books, a neater signature, all the way across the monkey bars.
What do you want to be when you grow up, and what would you do all day at that job?
Why ask it
Asking about the whole day shows how much of the job they can picture: a vet who only pets puppies, a builder who drives the crane from morning to night. Leave the picture uncorrected and ask who they know that does it. Two jobs at once, soccer player and dentist, is a normal answer at nine.
What are you practicing these days, in school or out of it?
Why ask it
Ask what the tricky bit is, whether the thing is a cartwheel, a level in a game or a song on the recorder. A child who says 'nothing' may not count what they do as practice, so try 'what have you done over and over this week?'
What could you teach a second grader?
Why ask it
Being older than somebody is a pleasure at nine. The lessons offered range from borrowing in subtraction to which swing goes highest. Where the school pairs classes as buddies, this is the plan for the next visit, written by the people who will carry it out.
What mistake taught you something?
Why ask it
Go first with one of your own, small and true: the directions you didn't read, the thing you said too fast. Theirs will be about rushing, forgetting or hurting a feeling. Let the story stand without adding a moral, since they have already supplied one.
What is something hard that you didn't give up on?
Why ask it
Different from asking what they are proud of, because finishing counts here even if the result was ordinary: swim lessons, a thick book, a puzzle with too much sky. Ask what kept them at it. The answer is often a person, and that person would like to know.
Which classroom job or chore at home are you the right person for, and why?
Why ask it
The why shows how they see themselves: careful enough to water plants, fast enough for messenger, patient enough to help a younger child with shoes. If you can hand over the job, do it. Being trusted with something real is a strong compliment at this age.
What did a grown-up teach you that you still use?
Why ask it
The skill is usually small and handy, like shuffling cards, cracking an egg or folding a paper airplane that flies, and the teacher is often a grandparent, coach or neighbor you had not heard about. A relative's natural next step is to teach one more thing before leaving.
What do you want to be able to do by the end of third grade?
Why ask it
A goal with a date gets a concrete answer: finish a series, swim the length of the pool, write a whole page. Have them write it on a card, collect the cards, and hand them back in the last week of school.
If you wrote a note to yourself in fourth grade, what would it say?
Why ask it
An end-of-year activity that takes fifteen minutes. The notes mix advice, predictions and instructions like 'still be friends with Marco'. Send them home sealed, or ask next year's teacher whether the notes can be handed out in the fall.
Asking a room of eight and nine year olds
Practical guidance for the conversation itself
Choose the format before the question
A circle at morning meeting
One question, one sentence each, around the circle. Do the arithmetic first: twenty-four children at fifteen seconds apiece is six minutes, so save the story questions for another format. Write the question on the board at arrival so the slow thinkers have had it since they hung up their coats, and let anyone pass once.
Turn and talk
For a question with a longer answer, give partners a minute each and then ask three volunteers to report what their partner said. Reporting someone else's answer makes them listen, and it lets a shy child be heard without speaking to the whole room.
A getting-to-know-you survey
For the first week, choose eight to ten questions across the groups and leave real lines to write on. A third grader can manage a sentence or two per question, and a box to draw in for one of them helps the children who write slowly. The nervous question, the best-work question, the one about being corrected and the one about which grown-up they would go to belong on paper. Read every sheet, and mention one thing from it to each child within a few days.
One child at a table
A tutor, a grandparent or a sitter needs two or three questions, not ten. Ask while your hands are busy with a snack, a card game or a drawing, and answer each one yourself as well. Stop while it is still fun, and the next visit starts easier.
What changes when the room is third grade
State the rules of the round
Children this age audit fairness constantly. Say before you begin who goes first, which way the turn travels, whether passing is allowed and how long an answer can be. Then keep to it, including for the child you would love to hear more from.
Ask for one thing
'What do you like?' gets a shrug, and 'what is the best thing that ever turns up in your lunch?' gets an answer. Third graders enjoy ranking, choosing and naming a single favorite, so narrow a question until it has an edge. A top three works well with a child who has too much to say.
Write first when you want their own answer
In a circle, the fourth child often repeats the third. If you need individual answers, have everyone jot or draw theirs on a sticky note before anyone speaks. They can still change their minds, but they will know they did.
Put a fence around silly
The Silly group gets loud quickly. Name the limits first, which are usually no bathroom jokes and no jokes about anyone in the room, and agree on the signal that ends it. One silly question per meeting is plenty.
After they answer
Keep a few on paper
The expert list, what each child is practicing and the end-of-year goal are all worth more in a month than they are today. A note card per child is enough. Bringing an answer back later, 'you said you were working on your cartwheel', is the part an eight year old remembers.
When you get 'I don't know'
Offer two possible answers and let them choose, or say you will come back and then do. Don't wait them out in front of the group. For some children, a pass today is what makes an answer possible next week.
When an answer is heavier than the question
Now and then a light question brings up trouble at home or a child who is being hurt. Thank them, keep your face calm and don't ask for details in front of others. A substitute, volunteer or tutor working in a school should tell the classroom teacher or the school office the same day. What a school or a state expects of an adult who is worried about a child's safety differs from place to place, so ask how it works where you are and follow that.
Take a turn yourself
Third graders are curious about adults and rarely get to ask. Answer some of the questions, briefly, and let them put one to you at the end. What you were like at eight is the thing they usually want to know.
Five for the moment you are in
A substitute's first ten minutes
Names and their stories, the class expert question, the extra recess vote, the funniest animal substitute and the hamster-sized dragon. That covers attendance, gets everyone out of their seats once, and gives you several children's interests to refer to during the day.
Monday morning meeting
The smooth-or-bumpy check, the weekend question, what makes a school day great, one from Silly, and what they are practicing. Change the last four from week to week and keep the first, since the check is more useful once it is a habit.
Tutoring or a reading conference
What they are reading and how they chose it, read-to or read-alone, what they do first when stuck, the math that clicked, and how they like to be told about a mistake. Spread them over the first two sessions instead of asking all five at once.
A relative visiting
The pet question, what they do for fun, the book character as a new classmate, the food raining from the sky, and what a grown-up taught them. Finish by teaching them something small yourself.
The last weeks of the year
What they can do now that they couldn't in second grade, the worry that turned out fine, something hard they kept going with, what they could teach a second grader, and the note to their fourth grade self.