Questions to Ask a Girl Before Marriage
Essential questions to explore values, goals, and compatibility before making a lifelong commitment.
1What are your top three life goals and how do you plan to achieve them?
Click to see why this works
What are your top three life goals and how do you plan to achieve them?
Click to see why this works
Why this works
Reveals her priorities and ambitions, showing whether your life paths and timelines can align harmoniously.
2How do you envision our lives together in 5, 10, and 20 years?
Click to see why this works
How do you envision our lives together in 5, 10, and 20 years?
Click to see why this works
Why this works
Shows her long-term vision for the relationship and whether you share compatible expectations for your future.
3What role does family play in your life and how often do you want to visit relatives?
Click to see why this works
What role does family play in your life and how often do you want to visit relatives?
Click to see why this works
Why this works
Reveals family expectations and boundaries, which often become sources of conflict in marriage.
4How do you handle conflict and what's your approach to resolving disagreements?
Click to see why this works
How do you handle conflict and what's your approach to resolving disagreements?
Click to see why this works
Why this works
Shows her communication style and conflict resolution skills, which are crucial for navigating married life.
5What are your views on finances, budgeting, and spending habits?
Click to see why this works
What are your views on finances, budgeting, and spending habits?
Click to see why this works
Why this works
Financial disagreements are a leading cause of marital stress, so understanding her money philosophy is essential.
6Do you want children, and if so, how many and when?
Click to see why this works
Do you want children, and if so, how many and when?
Click to see why this works
Why this works
Addresses fundamental life decisions that must align for a successful marriage and family life.
7What are your religious or spiritual beliefs and how important are they in daily life?
Click to see why this works
What are your religious or spiritual beliefs and how important are they in daily life?
Click to see why this works
Why this works
Shows her spiritual values and whether they align with yours, which affects major life decisions.
8How do you define love and what does it mean to you in a marriage?
Click to see why this works
How do you define love and what does it mean to you in a marriage?
Click to see why this works
Why this works
Reveals her emotional expectations and love language, helping you understand how to meet her needs.
9What are your career aspirations and how do you balance work with personal life?
Click to see why this works
What are your career aspirations and how do you balance work with personal life?
Click to see why this works
Why this works
Shows her work-life priorities and whether they align with your expectations for family time and career support.
10What are your non-negotiables in a relationship and what would you consider dealbreakers?
Click to see why this works
What are your non-negotiables in a relationship and what would you consider dealbreakers?
Click to see why this works
Why this works
Identifies critical boundaries and expectations that must be respected for the relationship to thrive.
11How do you handle stress and what support do you need from your partner?
Click to see why this works
How do you handle stress and what support do you need from your partner?
Click to see why this works
Why this works
Reveals her coping mechanisms and what she needs from you during difficult times.
12What are your thoughts on household responsibilities and how should they be divided?
Click to see why this works
What are your thoughts on household responsibilities and how should they be divided?
Click to see why this works
Why this works
Addresses practical daily life expectations and prevents resentment from unequal workload distribution.
13How important is physical intimacy to you and how do you communicate your needs?
Click to see why this works
How important is physical intimacy to you and how do you communicate your needs?
Click to see why this works
Why this works
Opens dialogue about expectations for intimacy and how to maintain a healthy physical relationship.
14What are your thoughts on personal space and time apart in a marriage?
Click to see why this works
What are your thoughts on personal space and time apart in a marriage?
Click to see why this works
Why this works
Shows her expectations for independence and togetherness, helping establish healthy boundaries.
15How do you want to handle disagreements about parenting styles if we have children?
Click to see why this works
How do you want to handle disagreements about parenting styles if we have children?
Click to see why this works
Why this works
Addresses potential conflicts in child-rearing approaches before they become major issues.
16What are your expectations for holidays, traditions, and family celebrations?
Click to see why this works
What are your expectations for holidays, traditions, and family celebrations?
Click to see why this works
Why this works
Reveals her values around traditions and how to navigate competing family expectations.
17How do you handle change and what's your approach to life's unexpected challenges?
Click to see why this works
How do you handle change and what's your approach to life's unexpected challenges?
Click to see why this works
Why this works
Shows her adaptability and resilience, which are crucial for weathering life's inevitable storms together.
18What does forgiveness mean to you and how do you practice it in relationships?
Click to see why this works
What does forgiveness mean to you and how do you practice it in relationships?
Click to see why this works
Why this works
Reveals her capacity for grace and whether she can move past hurts or holds onto resentment.
19What are your health habits and lifestyle preferences regarding diet, exercise, and wellness?
Click to see why this works
What are your health habits and lifestyle preferences regarding diet, exercise, and wellness?
Click to see why this works
Why this works
Shows her approach to health and whether your lifestyles can complement each other in daily life.
20How do you want to grow together as a couple and what does a successful marriage look like to you?
Click to see why this works
How do you want to grow together as a couple and what does a successful marriage look like to you?
Click to see why this works
Why this works
Reveals her vision for ongoing growth and whether you share the same definition of marital success.
Best Practices for Pre-Marriage Conversations
Expert tips and techniques for getting the most out of these questions.
Best Practices
Create a Safe Space
Have these conversations in a private, comfortable setting where both of you feel safe being vulnerable and honest.
Listen Without Judgment
Approach these conversations with curiosity rather than judgment, seeking to understand her perspective fully.
Be Honest About Your Own Answers
Share your own thoughts openly and honestly rather than giving answers you think she wants to hear.
Question Sequences
The Life Vision Sequence
The Values and Beliefs Sequence
Common Pitfalls
Don't Avoid Difficult Topics
Address uncomfortable subjects like money, sex, and family now rather than discovering incompatibilities after marriage.
Avoid Making Assumptions
Don't assume you know what she thinks or wants. Have explicit conversations about expectations and values.
Don't Rush the Process
Take time to have deep, thoughtful conversations rather than checking boxes. These discussions build foundation for marriage.