Questions to Ask a Girl to Get to Know Her
For anyone who has gotten past hello with a girl and wants to find out who she is, whether she is a classmate, a new friend or someone you like. The 92 questions run from what is easy to answer to what takes some trust, in six groups: her world, favorites, friends and family, what she is like, dreams and plans, and deeper ones. Each has a note on what to listen for and what to share back, so it stays a conversation and not an interview.
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The questions
Each question, and why to ask it
Her world
What are you into right now that you weren't a year ago?
Why ask it
A current obsession is easier to talk about than a lifelong hobby, since she is still excited and still has opinions. Ask how she got pulled in. Then say what your own latest one is, even if it is only a new game or a baking phase.
If I had one afternoon in your town, where would you send me?
Why ask it
She gets to play tour guide, and the places she picks are the ones that matter to her: the taco truck, the lake, the thrift store with the good jackets. If you live in the same town, ask about her side of it and trade your own best spot.
What's on your lock screen, and why that picture?
Why ask it
A lock screen is the one photo she chose to see a hundred times a day, so it is usually a person, a place or a pet she loves. It works well over text, since she can simply send it. Have a reason ready for yours.
Do you have a pet at home, and who in the family does it love most?
Why ask it
The second half turns a yes-or-no into a story about the household, usually with some outrage if the dog prefers her brother. No pet? Ask which animal she has been campaigning for and who keeps saying no.
What's keeping you busiest right now, and is it the good kind of busy?
Why ask it
A season of rehearsals she loves and a pile of deadlines she resents look the same on a calendar and sound nothing alike when she talks about them. Cheer for the first kind. For the second, ask when it ends and check in with her that day.
What does a normal weekday look like for you, from alarm to lights out?
Why ask it
She can answer this without thinking, and every detail is a thread: the early practice, the long bus ride, the shift after class. Pick the one part that sounds most like her and ask about that before you ask anything new.
What does a Saturday with zero plans turn into for you?
Why ask it
Some people fill an empty day by lunchtime and some guard it like treasure. You find out which she is, and what sort of invitation she would enjoy later. A slow morning and one good errand is a complete answer.
Which class, or which part of your job, do you secretly like?
Why ask it
Asking what she studies or what her job is only gets a label. This gets the chemistry lab she would never admit to enjoying, or the closing shift when the store goes quiet. Find out what makes that part different from the rest of her day.
Are you on any team, club or group, and how did you end up in it?
Why ask it
How she ended up there is the part to wait for: a friend dragged her to tryouts, a teacher needed one more for debate. If she has quit everything, ask what she lasted longest in. You also hear who she spends her hours with.
What time do you wake up when nothing is making you?
Why ask it
A friendlier way into the morning person question, because she answers with a number and then defends it. It is practical too: now you know whether a good morning message at eight is sweet or a crime.
What's your order at the place you go most?
Why ask it
A usual order is a small fact worth remembering exactly. Whether it is an iced chai with oat milk or a number four with no onions, getting it right weeks later says you were paying attention. Tell her yours so she can judge it.
What's your room like: tidy, organized chaos or do not open the door?
Why ask it
A bedroom is the one space she arranged for herself, so describing it is describing her: plants, string lights, a chair that holds the week's clothes. Ask which corner is her favorite, and admit the true state of yours.
What do you usually have going in the background: music, a show or total silence?
Why ask it
People who need noise and people who need quiet tend to puzzle each other, so it is worth knowing before you study or drive anywhere together. Ask what the current background choice is. Often it is a show she has already seen four times.
After a long day, what's the first thing that makes you feel normal again?
Why ask it
Listen for whether she recovers alone or with people: a shower and twenty minutes of saying nothing, or a call to her best friend. That tells you when to message after a hard day and when to leave her in peace.
Favorites
Which song have you played to death this month?
Why ask it
Naming one song from this month is far easier than describing her taste in music, a question that makes people go blank. Listen to it afterward and tell her one thing you noticed. That second conversation is worth more than the first.
What's a movie you can quote from start to finish?
Why ask it
This finds the film she actually loves, which is often a childhood one and not the one she would name to impress. If you know it too, trade lines. If you do not, ask for her best one and let her perform it.
What show are you in the middle of, and should I start it?
Why ask it
Asking whether you should start it makes her sell it to you, and you hear what she likes in a story: the slow burn, the jokes, one character she would defend in court. Only promise to watch if you will, because she will ask where you are up to.
What's the one food you could eat every day and never get sick of?
Why ask it
Simple on purpose, and useful, since half of all plans involve eating. Ask where the best version is. If the answer is something her grandmother makes, she has just handed you a better story than the food.
What's your ice cream order, and is it negotiable?
Why ask it
Nobody can get this wrong, which suits the early, nervous minutes. She will either defend mint chip like a court case or confess that she tries a new flavor every time. Disagree gently about one topping.
What's your favorite season, and what do you do with it?
Why ask it
The season alone is small talk. What she does with it is the answer: fall for football games and hoodies, summer for the lake, winter for staying in under a blanket. It also tells you what to suggest when that season comes around.
Which holiday do you love most, and how does your family do it?
Why ask it
A holiday she loves comes with a cast, a menu and at least one tradition nobody can explain. Let her describe the whole day. Share how yours differs, especially the strange parts, and be respectful if hers is one you do not celebrate.
What's the last book or series you stayed up too late for?
Why ask it
It is worded so that novels, manga, fan fiction and audiobooks all count, and nobody is being tested on how much they read. Find out what kept her going past midnight. If she says she is not a reader, ask what she does lose sleep over.
Do you have a favorite color, and does it show up in your room or your closet?
Why ask it
On its own this is the oldest question there is, which is why it comes with a follow-up attached. Someone whose whole room is sage green has thought about it, and someone who says black and laughs has told you something too. Handy when you are choosing a gift.
What's the best place you've ever visited, and what did you do there?
Why ask it
It need not be far away. A cousin's lake house counts as much as Paris, and what she did there shows whether she is happiest exploring, swimming or doing nothing at all. Ask who she was with, since that is often the real reason it was the best.
What do you always pick at the movies: popcorn, candy or sneaking in your own?
Why ask it
A small preference with strong feelings attached, and the third option usually gets a guilty laugh. Remember the exact candy. Turning up to a movie with the right box, unprompted, shows you listened better than anything you could say.
Who would you drop everything to see in concert?
Why ask it
The artist she would travel for is not always the one she streams most, so this gets a different answer from asking about her current song. Ask if she has seen them before and who she would bring. If tickets ever go on sale nearby, you know what to do.
What's a channel, podcast or account you never skip?
Why ask it
What she follows on purpose shows her interests more exactly than a list of hobbies would: a baker, a true crime show, someone restoring old furniture. Ask for one episode or video to start with, then report back.
What's your sport or game, to play or just to watch?
Why ask it
Leaving room for 'just to watch' includes the girl who never played but has not missed a match in years, and 'game' lets in chess, cards and video games. Ask how she got into it. A parent or an older sibling is usually behind it.
What do you spend money on without feeling guilty?
Why ask it
Concert tickets, good sneakers, books, an alarming number of candles. Where the guilt switches off is where her priorities are, and she will usually enjoy defending it. Do not tease the answer until you have confessed your own.
Friends and family
How many siblings do you have, and which one are you closest to?
Why ask it
The count is a fact and the favorite is a story, so wait for the second part. She may say it changes by the week. If she is an only child, ask whether she liked that or spent years requesting a sister.
In your friend group, are you the planner, the funny one, the mom or the wild card?
Why ask it
Giving her roles to choose from makes this a game instead of a personality quiz, and she will often invent a fifth. Notice whether she likes her role or is tired of it. Tell her which one you are in yours.
What do you and your best friend do together that would bore anyone else?
Why ask it
The dull stuff is the true measure of a friendship: driving around with no destination, homework on a video call, the fifth rewatch of one show. She gets to talk about someone she loves, and you hear what comfortable looks like for her.
Who in your family makes you laugh the most?
Why ask it
A warm way into family, because she picks the person and the tone. Ask for an example and you will usually get an impression of an uncle or a little brother. Someone with a complicated family can still answer without touching the hard parts.
What's the name of the group chat you check the most, and who's in it?
Why ask it
Group chat names are inside jokes, so asking about one gets her to explain the joke and introduce the whole cast. You learn who her daily people are. Do not ask to see the messages, because the name and the lineup are plenty.
What did you play for hours when you were little, and who with?
Why ask it
Childhood games bring back a specific backyard or bedroom floor and the kids who were in it. An elaborate pretend restaurant says something different from daily driveway basketball. Trade yours, including any rules you invented and enforced.
What's something your family does that you assumed every family did?
Why ask it
Everyone remembers finding out that other houses do not eat dinner at nine, or open one present the night before, or leave shoes at the door. It is funny, and it shows you the house she grew up in from the inside.
Is there a cousin, aunt, uncle or grandparent you're especially close to?
Why ask it
The relative outside the immediate household is often the one who really gets her. Listen for what that person gives her that her parents do not: jokes, straight talk, somewhere to stay in the summer. If she has lost that person, let her tell it at her own speed.
Is there a dish, a word or a habit in your family that came from where your grandparents grew up?
Why ask it
This lets her bring up her family's background herself, through food and sayings, without being asked to account for where she is 'from'. It works just as well if her grandparents grew up two streets away. If a dish comes up, ask who makes it best and whether she has learned how.
Which of your friends is the bad influence, and which one keeps everyone out of trouble?
Why ask it
A sketch of her group in two names, and she may admit to being one of them. The stories that follow are usually harmless and very funny. Remember both names for the day you meet these people.
What's the best day you've ever had with your friends?
Why ask it
Ask for the whole day and do not interrupt: where they went, what went wrong, what they still quote. The details she lingers on, the food, the music in the car, the laughing, are a blueprint for a day she would love again.
What's a family rule you hated then and understand now?
Why ask it
Curfews, no phones at dinner, finishing the season of a sport she wanted to quit. It lets her complain and be fair to her parents in one answer. If she still thinks the rule was nonsense, enjoy the rant and offer the one you would overturn.
Which friend can you sit in silence with?
Why ask it
Not everyone has one, and the people who do know exactly who it is. Being easy to be quiet around is a compliment she is paying that friend. It also tells you a pause does not bother her, which helps the next time your own conversation goes quiet.
Who do you go to for advice, and who do you go to when you just want to have fun?
Why ask it
Two names, and they are rarely the same person. The advice person is whoever she trusts with the real stuff, so ask what makes them good at it. You are hearing her definition of a good listener.
What does someone have to do to become one of your people?
Why ask it
This asks for actions where 'what do you want in a friend' asks for adjectives: show up, keep a secret, laugh at the right things. Some people let friends in fast and some take a year. Treat her answer as a description of the road, and do not try to sprint it.
What she is like
What's your sense of humor: dry, silly, sarcastic or all dad jokes?
Why ask it
Knowing this early saves misunderstandings, since a sarcastic line can land badly on someone who jokes sweetly. Ask what last made her laugh hard. Then notice which of your own jokes get a real laugh and which get a polite one.
Are you a fast replier, or do you read a message and answer it in your head?
Why ask it
Settle this early and a slow reply stops feeling like a verdict. Slow repliers usually know it, and will laugh about the message they answered in their head three days ago. Say which one you are, and whether you would honestly rather get a call.
Do you pack a week early or the night before?
Why ask it
A small test case for the planner question that everyone can answer with a story. The night-before people have a tale about a forgotten charger, and the week-early people have a list. If you are opposites, laugh about it now, before you ever travel anywhere together.
What tiny thing annoys you way more than it should?
Why ask it
Loud chewing, slow walkers, people who open with 'no offense'. A harmless complaint is fun to share, and 'more than it should' lets her laugh at herself. Quietly check whether you do it.
At a party, are you in the middle of the room, in the kitchen or looking for the dog?
Why ask it
Three spots most people recognize, and each is a full description of how she handles a crowd. The kitchen people want one real conversation. Tell her where she would find you, and if it is the same corner, say so.
Are you shy at first, or do you walk in and start talking?
Why ask it
If she says shy, she has just explained any short answers so far, which should relax you both. Ask how long her warm-up usually takes. Someone who starts talking at once may still like being asked things instead of always leading.
What could you teach a class on with no preparation?
Why ask it
The topic can be anything from braiding hair to a fantasy series to parallel parking. She gets to be the expert, which most people enjoy and are rarely invited to be. Ask for the first lesson and be a good student.
What do you end up doing when you're bored and your phone is dead?
Why ask it
Taking the phone away gets the real answer: drawing on her hand, reorganizing a shelf, bothering a sibling, going for a walk. It shows what her mind does by default. Best asked in person, for obvious reasons.
Do you decide fast and fix it later, or think it over for days?
Why ask it
Ask for an example, like how she picked a class, a haircut or a phone case. Fast deciders and slow ones can drive each other up the wall, so it helps to know. It also tells you whether to offer her two options or ten.
Do you follow the rules, bend them or pretend you didn't see the sign?
Why ask it
The third choice gets a laugh and usually a story about a pool, a parking lot or a dress code. Her answer shows how she feels about being told what to do without making it serious. Keep it to harmless rules and do not dare her to prove anything.
What are you stubborn about?
Why ask it
Short question, long answers. It might be a route to school, a sports team, or never being the first to say sorry. She will usually tell it as a joke on herself, and you learn which arguments are not worth starting.
What still scares you a little, even though you know better?
Why ask it
Worded this way, it stays at basements, moths and making phone calls unless she chooses to go further. Never use the answer for a prank. Admit one of your own so the score is even.
How can I tell when you're in a really good mood?
Why ask it
She might sing without noticing, talk faster, or send messages in capital letters. Once you know the signs you can spot them and enjoy them. Ask what usually causes it, and you have a short list of things worth doing.
What are you like when you're mad: loud, quiet or over it in five minutes?
Why ask it
Better to hear it described on a calm day than to guess on a bad one. If she goes quiet, ask how long she likes to be left alone. Give your own style honestly, since she is working out the same thing about you.
When you're upset, do you want advice, a distraction or just company?
Why ask it
Most people know their answer instantly and are almost never asked, and it suits a text as well as a talk. Remember what she says. The next time she has a bad day, do that one thing and skip the other two.
Which compliment means the most to you: funny, smart, kind or something else?
Why ask it
The one she picks is often something she works at, or something she is not sure people notice. Do not hand it to her on the spot, because that would sound like a trick. Wait until she does something that earns it, then say it and mean it.
What's the first impression you think you give, and how accurate is it?
Why ask it
People who look confident often say they are terrified, and quiet ones say they get taken for stuck-up. She gets to correct the record. If your own first impression of her was different, tell her what it was, as long as it is kind.
Dreams and plans
What do you want to do after school, or after the job you have now?
Why ask it
Worded to fit a sophomore or a twenty-five-year-old. 'I have no idea' is a common and honest answer, so do not treat it as a problem: ask what she has ruled out. If she does have a plan, ask what first made her want it.
If you could try any job for one week, which would you pick?
Why ask it
One week removes the pressure of choosing a career, so the answers get playful: zookeeper, pastry chef, the person who names nail polish. What appeals to her about it is the clue. Pick yours and compare how badly each of you would do.
Which country is first on your list, and what would you do on day one?
Why ask it
Day one is what separates a daydream from a place she has really thought about. Someone who says Japan and then names a specific bakery has been planning for years. Ask what started it, which is often a film, a class or a relative's stories.
Where do you picture yourself living when you get to choose?
Why ask it
Near family or far away, a city apartment or a house with a yard: the answer shows what she wants more of than she has now. Do not take it personally if it is a long way from here. People try on futures out loud.
What's the next big thing you're counting down to?
Why ask it
People who are counting always know the number, so ask how many days. It might be a concert, a trip, graduation or only the end of exams. Make a note of the date and message her that morning.
What do you wish you already knew how to do?
Why ask it
'Already' is the honest word, since everyone wants the skill without the bad first year: guitar, driving stick, a second language, a backflip. If you can do the thing she names, offer once and lightly. If neither of you can, being bad at it together is a decent plan.
What would you do with a free summer and a small budget?
Why ask it
A small budget keeps it real, so you hear a plan and not a fantasy: a road trip with friends, a job at a camp, finally learning to surf. Notice whether it is full of people or wide open. If part of her plan sounds good to you, say which part.
What's one thing you're determined to do at least once?
Why ask it
Sharper than asking for a whole bucket list, which tends to get the same skydiving answer from everyone. One thing forces a choice. Ask what stands between her and it, and whether she wants company or would rather do it alone.
What do you want to be able to say by the end of this year?
Why ask it
A goal put as a sentence: 'I made the team', 'I passed', 'I finally finished the thing'. It is nearer and more honest than a five-year plan. Ask again in a couple of months, without nagging, and cheer whichever way it is going.
What's the one thing your dream house has to have?
Why ask it
A library with a ladder, a huge kitchen, a porch swing, room for three dogs. One feature is easy to name and shows what home means to her: books, feeding people, quiet, animals. Bargain over whose feature gets the bigger room.
If you had to be famous for something, what would you want it to be?
Why ask it
'Had to be' lets her answer even if she would hate fame, and plenty of people would. An invention, a book, a gold medal, being extremely good at one obscure thing. What she picks is what she would be proud of, with the modesty taken off.
What dream have you had since you were a kid that still hasn't gone away?
Why ask it
Something that has lasted since she was seven is not a whim, even if she laughs when she says it. Take it seriously for her. The two worst replies are a joke about the odds and a lecture about a backup plan.
What would you try if you were sure nobody would laugh?
Why ask it
The fear named here is embarrassment, not failure, and it is often the one that keeps people from starting. Singing in public, trying out, posting her art. She may say it quietly, so answer quietly, and do not push her to go and do it by Friday.
Is there something you'd love to make someday: a book, a business, a band, a garden?
Why ask it
Wanting to make something is different from wanting a job, and she may have a project she has never said out loud. If she names one, ask how far she has gotten, even if the answer is a notes app full of ideas. If nothing comes to mind, let it go. Not everyone has one.
Ten years from now, what do you hope you'll be glad you did?
Why ask it
It turns the future around so she looks back from it, and that tends to bring up the brave choice: going away for school, staying close to a grandparent, not quitting. Give her a moment to think. Have your own answer ready, because she will probably ask.
Deeper
What quality do you respect most in other people?
Why ask it
Ask who she knows that has it, so that 'loyalty' or 'honesty' becomes a person and not a poster. It is also the quality she is watching for in you. Do not claim it, and let her decide.
What do you take more seriously than you used to?
Why ask it
A way of asking how she has grown without using that word. The answer might be sleep, her little sister, or having two real friends instead of twenty. Something happened to cause it, and she can leave that part out if she wants to.
What would ten-year-old you think of you now?
Why ask it
She might say impressed, confused, or mostly thrilled about the phone and the freedom. Under the joke there is usually something real: a thing she gave up, or a thing she never expected to manage. Ask what ten-year-old her would want to know first.
What do you catch yourself overthinking?
Why ask it
Nearly everyone overthinks something, which makes this a deeper question that is still easy to admit to: messages she has sent, what people meant, decisions already made. Do not tell her to stop. Tell her what yours is, and you have both been honest.
What's a moment when you were really proud of yourself?
Why ask it
One moment is easier to give than a list of achievements: a solo that went fine, a hard conversation, a driving test passed on the third attempt. Ask what the minute right afterward felt like. Be impressed out loud, and skip any story of yours that would top hers.
Who has shaped you the most, and would they know it?
Why ask it
It is often someone she has never told: a coach, an older cousin, a grandmother. If she says they would not know, you might ask what she would say to them. Do not insist that she should.
When were you last so happy you noticed it while it was happening?
Why ask it
People often only realize afterward that they were happy, so a moment she caught as it happened was a strong one. It is often small: a car full of friends, a kitchen, a perfect evening outside. You find out what her happiness is made of, which no list of favorites will tell you.
What's the hardest thing you've done that you'd do again?
Why ask it
'That you'd do again' picks out the hard things that were worth it: a brutal season, a move, standing up to a friend. She is telling you what she will pay a price for. Ask what kept her going, and hold your own story until she has finished hers.
What looks easy for you from the outside that isn't?
Why ask it
Good grades, being the happy one, getting along with everyone at home. This gives her room to say what the effort costs, and many people have never been asked. Believe her, and do not answer with 'but you make it look so easy'.
When do you feel most appreciated?
Why ask it
Ask for a real moment and you get an answer you can use: someone remembered, someone said thank you out loud, someone showed up. Some people need the words and some need the actions. Whichever she names, that is the one to get right.
What would you stand up for even if you were the only one?
Why ask it
This asks what she believes by asking what she would do, which keeps it from turning into a debate. It may be a friend, a younger kid being picked on, or a principle. If you disagree with her on the issue, ask why and leave the arguing for another day.
What's something about you that you hope never changes?
Why ask it
Most deep questions ask what she would fix, and this one asks what she likes, which takes a little courage to say out loud. It could be her curiosity, her loud laugh, how easily she cries at movies. Agree only if you have seen it yourself.
What's the last thing that made you tear up, happy or sad?
Why ask it
She can choose a commercial with a dog in it or something real, and either is a fair answer. Follow the size of what she gives you. If it is heavy, a quiet 'thank you for telling me' beats any advice, and this is not one to send by text out of nowhere.
Who gets the unedited version of you, and what did they do to earn it?
Why ask it
The answer is a name and a set of instructions: they did not laugh at the wrong moment, they kept things private, they acted the same in front of other people. She is trusting you with those. Never quote them back to win a point later.
If you could keep only one memory, which would it be?
Why ask it
Give her time, because the first one that comes to mind is not always the one she picks. Notice who else is in the memory and ask about them. Let her describe it slowly, and do not rush in with yours.
What's something about you I'd never guess from what I know so far?
Why ask it
It hands her the choice of what you learn next: a hidden hobby, a surprising fear, a whole chapter you have not heard. Whatever she offers, treat it as a door she opened. The next time you talk, start from there.
How to get to know her without interviewing her
Practical guidance for the conversation itself
Keeping it a conversation
Answer your own question
The quickest way to stop sounding like an interviewer is to give your own answer after hers, in about the same length. If she tells you her ice cream order, tell her yours. If she says who shaped her, say who shaped you. She should leave knowing as much about you as you know about her.
Stay on her answer before you ask something new
The questions on this page only open a subject. Getting to know her happens in the two or three smaller questions you ask about what she just said: who was there, how she got into it, what happened next. If you have asked a second question from the list within a minute of the first, you are going too fast.
Three or four is plenty
You do not need to get through a tag in one sitting, let alone the page. Pick a few you are curious about before you see her or message her, and let the rest of the conversation go wherever it goes. Getting to know someone takes weeks, and there will be other days.
Remember one thing and bring it back
After you talk, hold on to one detail: the name of her dog, the test on Thursday, the song she has on repeat. Ask about it the next time. A remembered detail tells her you were listening, and no new question does that as well.
Where to start and how far to go
The first few conversations
Stay in Her world and Favorites. These are about her days and her tastes, they can be answered by someone who met you last week, and none of them ask her to trust you yet. If she answers at length and asks you things back, you can move on. If she keeps it brief, stay here and keep it light.
Once the two of you talk regularly
Friends and family and What she is like fit the stage where you already know the basics. They ask about the people around her and about how she reacts to things, so they take a little more comfort. Start at the top of each group, where the questions are lighter, and work down as she warms up.
When there is some trust
Dreams and plans and Deeper ask for things people do not tell everyone. One of them in a conversation is enough, and it helps to offer your own answer first so she can see what kind of honesty you are asking for. If she gives a serious question a light answer, take the light answer and move on.
If you like her
Nothing on this page is a flirting line, and that is on purpose. Being interested in her friends, her plans and her opinions is how liking someone shows before anything is said. When you are ready to say more, say it plainly and give her room to answer either way. If she would rather stay friends, be as kind after the answer as you were before it.
Asking over text
Pick the ones with a quick answer
Questions with choices built in, or with something she can check or send, are the easiest to answer from a phone: the lock screen, the song of the month, the ice cream order, packing early or late, whether she replies fast or slow, advice or distraction or company. A question that needs a paragraph is better saved for when you can hear each other.
One question per message, with your answer attached
Three questions in a row read like a survey. Send one, and add your own answer or the reason you thought of it, so she has something to reply to besides the question. 'Mine is a photo of my dog asleep on the stairs, what's on yours?' is easier to answer than the bare question.
Keep the heavy ones for in person
The second half of Deeper depends on tone, and tone does not survive a text. You cannot see whether a question landed badly, and she cannot see that you asked kindly. If a text conversation turns serious by itself, follow it. Do not start one there.
Match her pace
Notice when she tends to reply and how long her messages are, and stay close to that. A slow reply usually means a busy day and nothing more, so do not send a second question to chase the first. Some threads should simply end, and you can start a new one tomorrow.
When it is not going well
You are doing all the asking
Stop asking for a while and offer something instead: a short story from your day, your own answer to the last question, an opinion she can disagree with. Some people need something to respond to before they start asking back. If that changes nothing over several conversations, she may not be as curious about you as you are about her, and it is better to notice than to push.
She gives one-word answers
Check the simple reasons first. She may be busy, shy, or in a room where she cannot talk. Try one easy question from Favorites, and if that gets one word too, say something friendly and leave it for today. Asking more questions, or asking why she is being quiet, makes it worse.
A question touches something sore
Family questions in particular can land on a divorce, a death or a house she does not like going home to, and you will not know in advance. If her face or her tone changes, say she does not have to get into it and move to a different subject yourself. Do not apologize five times. Once is enough, and then be normal.
She says she would rather not answer
Then she has told you something useful about where her limits are, and the right reply is 'fair enough' and a different subject. Do not ask the same thing a different way, and do not bring it up later as a joke. How you take a no is one of the things she is finding out about you.