Questions to Ask a New Coaching Client
These are questions to ask a new coaching client on the discovery call, at intake and in the first session, written for life, career, executive and business coaches. They follow the order the work usually takes: the discovery call, the goal, the obstacles and strengths the client brings, how they want to be challenged and held accountable, the practical terms, and a few to close a session on. Under each is a note on what a good or a worrying answer sounds like and what to do with it.
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The questions
Each question, and why to ask it
Discovery call
What is going on in your life or work that made you look for a coach now?
Why ask it
The trigger is usually an event: a promotion, a layoff, a birthday, a review that stung. A good answer names it. If nothing in particular happened, ask what they hoped would be different by this point, because a vague trigger often comes with a vague commitment and the discovery call is the cheap place to find that out.
What do you want to be different by the time we finish working together?
Why ask it
Write the answer in their words and read it back. A workable one describes something another person could notice: a job offer, a team that no longer escalates everything, three new clients a month. 'Feeling more confident' is a start, so ask what they would do with the confidence that they do not do today.
How will you know the coaching has worked?
Why ask it
The evidence is theirs to choose, and it might be a number, a decision made or a conversation finally had. Agree on one or two signs and return to them at the midpoint. A client who cannot name any yet is not a poor fit, but finding the measure becomes the job of the first session.
What have you already tried on your own to change this?
Why ask it
Each attempt, whether a book, a course, a mentor or plain willpower, shows where they get stuck: one client never starts, another starts strongly and fades by the third week. Ask what worked even briefly, since that part can be kept, and do not open with the suggestion that has already failed.
Have you worked with a coach before, and what did you get from it?
Why ask it
A first-timer needs to hear what a session is and is not, so explain that before going further. With someone who has been coached, ask what the last coach did that helped. If three coaches in a row 'did not get it', find out what getting it would have looked like before you become the fourth.
What are you hoping a coach will do that a friend, a mentor or your manager cannot?
Why ask it
Out comes the picture in their head: an adviser with answers, a cheerleader, someone to hold them to a plan. If they want to be told what to do and you coach mostly by asking, say so and describe a typical session. A mismatch found on this call costs one short conversation, and found in the second month it costs both of you far more.
Are you working with anyone else on this at the moment, such as a therapist, a mentor or another coach?
Why ask it
You do not need the details, only the map of who is already helping. A mentor inside the company, or a therapist they see about something separate, can sit comfortably beside coaching as long as each person's part is clear. If what they want from you sounds like treatment, say that coaching is not that and suggest they take it to someone qualified.
How much time and energy can you honestly give this each week, outside our sessions?
Why ask it
The work between sessions is where things move, so the answer sets the pace of the whole engagement. An hour a week is enough for many goals if it is a real hour. Be less concerned by a small number than by 'whatever it takes' from someone who has just described a sixty-hour week.
Is anyone else part of this decision, such as an employer who is paying or a partner who shares the budget?
Why ask it
Find out now who else has to say yes. When a company is paying, ask who approves the spend and what that person needs to see first. With a partner in the picture, offer a short written summary they can pass on, so the decision does not hang on a retelling over dinner.
What would make you hesitate to go ahead?
Why ask it
Usually it is the cost, the time or a doubt that anything will really change. Hearing it lets you answer honestly or agree that this is not the moment. Do not talk anyone past a real reservation: someone who signs up half convinced is the client you will be chasing for session dates later.
The goal
What do you want to walk away with at the end of today's session?
Why ask it
Ask it in the first two minutes of every session, not only the first one. The reply sets a target small enough for an hour, such as a choice between two offers or a draft of what to say to a co-founder, and gives you something to check against at the end. When the reply is the whole engagement goal again, ask which piece of it fits into today.
Of everything you have mentioned, which one would you work on first if you could only pick one?
Why ask it
New clients often arrive with five goals. The pick shows what hurts most and gives the first month a focus. If they cannot choose, ask which one would make the others easier. That is usually the place to begin.
Why does this matter to you, beyond the obvious reasons?
Why ask it
Follow with 'and what would that give you?' two or three times, gently. A salary goal can turn out to be about being taken seriously, or about evenings at home. Keep a note of the reason underneath and bring it back in the dull middle weeks when energy drops.
Can you describe an ordinary Tuesday a year from now, if this goes well?
Why ask it
The detail does the work: what time they start, who they talk to, what is no longer on their plate. It turns an abstract aim into things you can plan toward. Notice what is absent from the picture as well, since a duty or a person they leave out may be what they want to drop.
On a scale of 1 to 10, where are you on this today, and what would one point higher look like?
Why ask it
The number alone means little. The second half gives you a small step the client can name, and it often becomes the first piece of work between sessions. Repeat the question every few sessions and you have a progress record in the client's own terms.
What would you be giving up, or risking, if you got what you are asking for?
Why ask it
Getting it will cost something, perhaps free evenings, a comfortable title or the approval of someone who liked things as they were. A client who has counted the cost is ready to work. An answer of 'nothing' means they have not looked yet, and that unexamined cost is where the plan is likely to stall.
Whose goal is this: yours, or someone else's idea of what you should want?
Why ask it
Say it kindly, because it is a real question and not an accusation. A goal handed over by a boss, a parent or a spouse can still be worth pursuing, but the client needs a reason of their own. If 'should' and 'supposed to' run through the reply, give a session to what they would choose with nobody watching.
Which parts of your life or work are going well and should be left alone?
Why ask it
It marks the edges of the work and reminds the client that they are not a project from top to bottom. The good areas are clues too. Whatever keeps their friendships or their fitness in order may transfer to the thing they came about.
Is there a deadline, and who set it?
Why ask it
A date with something behind it, such as a review cycle, a lease or savings that run out in June, tells you how many sessions you have and how fast to move. A date the client invented to put pressure on themselves can shift, and occasionally moving it is the first useful thing the coaching does.
If this went better than you dare to expect, what would have happened?
Why ask it
People trim their goals to what sounds reasonable in front of a stranger. The larger version shows what they want, even if the plan stays modest. When it turns out to be a different goal from the one they opened with, ask which of the two they are hiring you for.
Obstacles and strengths
What has stopped you from making this change before now?
Why ask it
Hear where they place the cause. 'My boss', 'the market' and 'no time' sit outside them, and 'I talk myself out of it' sits inside. Both can be true. If every cause is external, an early session on which part is theirs to move is worth having, since that is the only part coaching can reach.
Where does it usually go wrong for you: getting started, keeping going, or finishing?
Why ask it
The reply shows you where to put the support. Slow starters need a first step small enough to do the same day. People who fade need a check-in around the point where they normally drop off. Those who never finish may be holding a standard nobody could meet, which deserves a question of its own.
What do you tell yourself when it gets hard?
Why ask it
You are listening for the sentence they repeat: 'I'm just not a numbers person', 'people like me don't get those jobs'. Take it down word for word and do not argue with it yet. When it turns up later in the middle of a plan, you can point to it and ask whether it is a fact or a habit.
What is the worst that could realistically happen if you try this and it does not work?
Why ask it
Said aloud, the worst case tends to shrink to something they could live with, like an awkward month or a return to the old job. Ask what they would do the morning after it happened, which turns dread into a plan. When the worst case is truly serious, such as savings they cannot afford to lose, treat it as a limit on the plan and not as a fear to coach away.
What else is taking up room in your life right now that I should know about?
Why ask it
A new baby, an ill parent, a house move or a merger at work does not rule coaching out, but it decides how much to ask of them between sessions. Halve the homework for a client in a heavy season and tell them you are doing it on purpose. Anything that sounds like a crisis is a different conversation: say that it is beyond coaching and ask who they have to turn to.
What are you putting up with at the moment that you would like to stop putting up with?
Why ask it
Expect a quick list: an inbox out of control, a colleague who talks over them, a standing meeting with no purpose. Small irritations use up energy the bigger goal needs. Choose one that can be cleared this week, because an early, visible win makes the harder work feel possible.
If I asked the people who work or live with you what you should change, what would they say?
Why ask it
It brings in an outside view without a formal survey. Notice whether the client agrees with what those people would say or bristles at it, since the gap between how they see themselves and how they are seen is often the work in executive and leadership coaching. 'I have no idea' is useful too, and finding out could be the first assignment.
Who is in your corner, and who would prefer you stayed as you are?
Why ask it
One person changing shifts things for the people around them. A partner who is all for it, or a manager who wants the promotion for them, is a resource to name and use. Where someone close has a stake in things staying put, take no side. Ask how the client wants to handle that conversation.
Tell me about a big change you did manage to make. What made it stick?
Why ask it
Nearly everyone has one, whether it was moving cities, finishing a degree at night or giving up a habit. Draw out the mechanics: who helped, whether they went all at once or in steps, what they did on bad days. That is their own method, and it will suit them better than a framework you bring.
What are you good at that we can put to work here?
Why ask it
Clients arrive thinking about what is wrong, and many underrate this. If they struggle, ask what colleagues or friends come to them for. Then use it: an organized person builds a system, a talker books conversations. A plan resting on something they already do well is easier to keep.
Coaching style
How do you like to be challenged when I think you are avoiding something?
Why ask it
Some people want it said straight, and some close up unless it arrives as a question. Treat the answer as permission you can refer to later: 'you asked me to say so when I saw this'. Go carefully with 'be brutal with me'. Test it with something small before you take it literally.
When you say you will do something by the next session and you have not, how do you want me to respond?
Why ask it
Settle it while nothing has been missed. One client wants to be asked what got in the way, another wants it noted and left alone. Either way, add a rule of your own: a task missed twice is the wrong task, not a failure of discipline, and the two of you will redesign it.
What has kept you accountable in the past: deadlines, another person, tracking, something else?
Why ask it
Build on what already works for them. Someone who performs for a deadline needs dates. Someone who shows up for other people might send you one line every Friday. If nothing has ever worked, treat the first month as an experiment and try one method at a time, so you can tell which made the difference.
How do you take feedback in the moment, and how can I tell when something has landed badly?
Why ask it
Clients who go quiet are harder to read than clients who push back. Ask for the tell: a change of subject, a joke, 'that's fair' said too quickly. Agree on a phrase either of you can use to pause and check. By phone or video there are fewer cues, so it matters more there.
Do you think best by talking it through, writing it down, or going away and coming back?
Why ask it
This decides how you run the hour. Talkers need room and a summary at the end, writers do well with a question sent ahead, and people who need to go away should not be pressed for a decision in the session. The easy mistake is to coach everyone in the mode you prefer yourself.
What should I know about how you react under pressure?
Why ask it
Pressure makes one person speed up and overcommit, another freeze, a third turn sharp with whoever is nearest. Knowing the pattern helps you spot it in the stories they bring, and in the coaching itself once a goal starts to bite. Ask what helps when it happens and whether they want it pointed out.
How much do you want my own view, and how much do you want to reach the answer yourself?
Why ask it
Coaches differ here and so do clients. An executive short on time may want your read after ten minutes, while someone learning to trust their own judgment needs you to hold back. Say where you naturally sit, agree on a starting point, and offer to ask 'would you like my opinion?' before giving one.
What would you want me to do if I hear the same story for the third session in a row?
Why ask it
Loops happen: the same complaint about the same person, with no move made. Permission given in advance turns an awkward interruption into something they requested. If they say 'tell me', you can remind them of that on the day, and it will sound like keeping a promise.
Has a coach, a teacher or a boss ever done something that made you shut down?
Why ask it
The answer is your list of what not to do, and it can be as small as being interrupted or homework that felt like school. Thank them and do not defend whoever it was. If the thing they name is part of how you normally work, admit it and decide together how to change it for them.
Terms
How often would you like to meet: weekly, every two weeks, or something else?
Why ask it
Offer what you actually sell and give the reason. Weekly suits someone in the middle of a job search or a rough patch at work, and every two weeks leaves time to act in between. If their preference does not fit your packages, say so now. Settle the length of the whole engagement in the same conversation.
Will we meet by video, by phone or in person, and where will you be when we do?
Why ask it
The medium is quickly settled, and where they will be sitting decides what they can say. A client calling from an open-plan desk, or from the car in the school pickup line, will not say the important thing. Agree on a private spot and a time that does not follow straight after their hardest meeting, and check time zones if you are not in the same one.
What contact do you want between sessions, and what is reasonable to expect from me?
Why ask it
State your own limits in the same breath: whether you answer texts, how quickly you reply to email, whether a short call between sessions is included or billed. Access that was defined at the start is seldom a problem. Access nobody discussed is where the resentment builds, on either side.
If your employer is paying, what has been agreed about what gets reported back, and to whom?
Why ask it
Arrangements differ from one organization and one contract to the next, so ask to see what was agreed instead of guessing. Get it confirmed in writing with the client, the sponsor and yourself all named. A client who is unsure who hears what will keep the real material to themselves.
What do you need to know about confidentiality before you can speak freely?
Why ask it
Explain in plain words what you keep private and where that stops, and put it in your agreement. The limits depend on where you practice and on any professional body you belong to, so check your own rules beforehand and tell the client which apply. Then ask whether anything is still bothering them.
How should we handle a session you need to move or miss?
Why ask it
Give your notice period and what happens to a session canceled inside it, then ask whether their job makes that realistic. A client who is on call or travels every week may need a different arrangement. Write down whatever you settle. A policy first mentioned after a late cancellation feels like a punishment.
Is there anything in the agreement you want to go through: the fee, the payment dates, how either of us can end it?
Why ask it
Go through the money aloud even when it is all in the document, because people sign things they have skimmed. Cover what is paid when, what happens to unused sessions and how refunds work under your terms. Contract and consumer rules vary by place, so have your own agreement checked for where you work.
What would you like to send me before each session, and what do you want from me afterward?
Why ask it
Two lines the day before, on what has happened since last time and what they want from the hour, save the first ten minutes. Afterward some clients want written notes and others never open them. Decide who records the commitments. A commitment the client wrote down in their own words is one they will recognize a week later.
When should we stop and review whether this is working, and what would tell us to finish early?
Why ask it
Put a review in the calendar near the halfway point and use the signs of success they named at the start. Agree now that either of you can say it is not working without anyone having failed. Reaching the goal is also a reason to finish early, and some clients need you to point out that they have.
Closing
What is the most useful thing you are taking from today?
Why ask it
Worth asking at the end of every session, beginning with the first. It tells you what landed, which is often not what you took for the highlight, and saying it aloud helps the client hold on to it. A blank is information as well: cover less next time and go slower.
What will you do before we next meet, and when exactly will you do it?
Why ask it
One or two actions, chosen by the client, each with a day attached. 'Work on my resume' is a wish. 'Send the draft to my old manager by Thursday noon' can be checked. If the list runs past three, ask which ones they would bet on finishing and keep only those.
What have we not talked about today that is still on your mind?
Why ask it
What gets held back until the last five minutes is often the real subject: the business partner, the health scare, the plan to resign. If it is big, do not squeeze it in. Tell them it deserves proper time and make it the opening of the next session.
What questions do you have for me about how I work?
Why ask it
Leave real time for this. Fair questions cover your training, who you usually work with and what happens when coaching does not help. Answer plainly, credentials included: coaching titles and certificates mean different things in different places, so say exactly what yours are and who issued them.
How will you make your decision, and when would you like me to follow up?
Why ask it
On a discovery call this takes the place of a hard close. Offer to send the agreement and a summary of what you heard, then follow up once, on the day you agreed. If you felt the fit was wrong, now is the time to say so and to suggest who might suit them better.
How to run a discovery call, an intake and a first session
Practical guidance for the conversation itself
Which questions go where
On the discovery call
A free or short first call has two jobs: the client feels heard, and both of you judge the fit. Five or six questions from the Discovery call group are enough. Keep ten minutes back to explain how you work and what it costs. Resist coaching the problem in full; a taste of your approach is fine, but the call is for deciding whether to work together.
On an intake form
Factual and reflective questions suit writing: what they have tried, what is going well, the scale of 1 to 10, who else is helping them, the practical preferences under Terms. Keep the form short enough to finish in one sitting, around eight to ten items. Read it before the first session so you can open with 'you wrote that...' and not ask it all again.
In the first session
Open by asking what they want to walk away with today, then save the hour for the questions that need a voice and a pause: why the goal matters, whose goal it is, what they tell themselves when it gets hard, and everything under Coaching style. These depend on follow-ups that a form cannot ask, and on the client seeing how you react to the answer.
Adjust for the kind of coaching
An executive client sponsored by an employer needs the reporting and confidentiality questions settled before anything else. A career client usually has a date in mind, so ask about the deadline early. In life coaching the goal is often the least formed part, so stay longer in The goal before any plan. A business owner will want to talk numbers; ask which ones they watch.
Asking well
One question, then wait
Ask a single question and stop talking. It is tempting to add a second version or offer sample answers to fill the silence, and the client then answers the easier one. A pause of a few seconds feels far longer to the person who asked than to the person thinking.
Keep their words
When a client says 'stuck', say 'stuck', not 'blocked' or 'plateaued'. Write key phrases down as spoken and read them back. It shows you listened, and it stops you coaching a goal that you paraphrased into something else.
Ask for the last time it happened
A general answer such as 'I am bad at boundaries' becomes workable once it is tied to a day. 'When did that last happen?' gives you people, a place and a moment where something different could have been done.
Do not work through the list
Nobody should be asked every question on this page. Pick two or three from each group that fit this client and let the answers lead you to the rest. When an answer opens something important, stay with it and drop what you had planned.
Say why you are asking
The harder questions, such as whose goal this is or what the people around them would say, can sound like doubt. One sentence of reason helps: 'I ask everyone this, because a goal that belongs to someone else is hard to keep working on.' Then the question reads as care and not as a challenge to their motives.
After the conversation
Send a summary within a day
Three or four lines: the goal in their words, the signs of success they named, what each of you agreed to do, and the date of the next session. Invite them to correct anything. That note becomes the reference point for the midpoint review.
Keep notes the client could read
Record what was said and agreed, not your theories about the person. Notes written as if the client might see them stay factual. How long you keep them and how you store them may be covered by privacy rules where you work, so find out what applies to you.
Be honest about fit
If the answers point to something outside coaching, or to a kind of coaching you do not do, say so kindly and soon. Keep the names of a few colleagues, and of other kinds of professional, ready to suggest. Turning down a client who is not right for you is part of the job.
Come back to the first answers
Near the halfway mark, read back what they said they wanted and how they would know. Goals shift once the work starts. Ask whether the original still stands, and rewrite it together if it does not.
Mistakes to avoid
Coaching before contracting
Enthusiasm leads straight to the problem while fees, confidentiality and cancellations go unmentioned. Cover the Terms questions before the first paid session. Terms left unspoken are where later friction tends to start.
Turning intake into an interrogation
A run of questions with no response from you feels like a form being read aloud. Reflect back what you heard every few answers, and let the client ask something of you before you move to the next group.
Fixing in the first ten minutes
Advice offered before you have the whole picture often repeats something they have done already. Hold your ideas until you have heard what they tried and what got in the way.
Taking the first goal as the goal
What a client states to a stranger is the presentable version. Treat it as a draft. The questions about why it matters and whose goal it is often change it, and week one is the cheapest time for that to happen.