Questions to Ask a Psychic Medium About Loved Ones Who Have Passed Away and What They Want to Say to Me About My Life and What They Want Me to Know
Questions for a reading where you are hoping to be told something you do not already know: things never said, reasons you never understood, matters left unfinished. Includes how to separate a claim you could check from an impression, and where the real answers usually live.
The questions
Open any question for the note
When you say they want me to know something, do you mean a fact I could check, or something about how they feel?
Why ask it
The same phrase covers two entirely different claims. Checkable facts are rare in readings and are the only part you can ever evaluate, so it is worth establishing which is on offer before you start weighing it.
Is there anything they want me to know that I could verify afterwards?
Why ask it
A verifiable claim looks like an object in a particular drawer, the name of someone they worked with, a detail from a document. Most practitioners will hedge when asked this directly, and the few who commit have given you something worth more than an hour of impressions.
Will you say it before I confirm anything?
Why ask it
The order of events is what gives a detail any weight. Something offered whole and unprompted counts; the same detail assembled from your nods and corrections does not, and afterwards you will not be able to tell the two apart without a recording.
If I ask something you cannot answer, will you say so?
Why ask it
Agreeing to this in advance costs nothing and changes the hour. It gives the practitioner a way to decline a question instead of producing something, and it tells you how they will handle the limits of what they do.
If nothing comes through today, what happens?
Why ask it
Settle it alongside the price and any rebooking policy. Once that is agreed there is no incentive to fill the last ten minutes, which is where vague and expansive material usually appears.
Is there anything they would want me to know that would surprise me?
Why ask it
The surprise is the test, because anything that surprises you cannot have come from you. Ask it plainly and notice whether what follows is genuinely new or a rearrangement of what you have already said in the room.
Is there something they never told me?
Why ask it
This is what most people are hoping for, and it is also the easiest thing in the world to assert. Weigh it by whether a specific circumstance is described or whether you are told there was more love than you realized.
Is there something they were protecting me from?
Why ask it
Most families have one of these, which is what makes the question feel so accurate when it is answered. It is also close to impossible to check, and an unverifiable claim of this shape can unsettle a family for years.
Is there something they wanted to say before they died and could not?
Why ask it
For an unexpected death, or one where speech was lost at the end, this is often the whole reason for the appointment. Whatever comes, be aware you are likely to carry the answer for a long time, so it is worth deciding beforehand whether you want it.
Is there anything about why they did something I never understood?
Why ask it
Answers here are nearly always kind, and kindness is usually what people need. Note that a motive supplied by a stranger is a suggestion, and if it contradicts what you actually know, you are allowed to keep what you know.
Is there anything they would want me to know about a mistake they made?
Why ask it
A harder question than it sounds and a useful one, because it cannot be answered with reassurance. Whether they can produce something that fits the person's real faults tells you more than a list of correct family details.
Is there something they were proud of and never said out loud?
Why ask it
Common in families where affection was not spoken. Look for a particular occasion rather than a general statement, since the general version is available to every sitter who has ever asked this.
Is there anything about what they believed at the end?
Why ask it
This matters to many families and it is worth noticing that the answer will tend to match the practitioner's own beliefs rather than the person's. If their faith differed from yours, or from the practitioner's, treat any answer with care.
Is there anything practical they meant to sort out: paperwork, an account, a policy?
Why ask it
People arrive hoping for a will, a password, an insurance policy. A reading cannot locate any of them, and real routes exist: probate registries, bank and insurer tracing services, unclaimed asset registers, and the lawyer who handled the file.
Is there something they wanted me to have?
Why ask it
This one crosses into other people's property. An estate is settled by the will and the executor rather than by a reading, and presenting a claim to relatives as a message from the person who died reliably makes things worse.
Is there anything they would want me to know about someone else in the family?
Why ask it
The most damaging ground in any reading. Claims about a relative's conduct, parentage, or motives cannot be established in this setting, and once repeated they are almost impossible to withdraw. It is reasonable to decide not to ask at all.
Can you tell me anything about a person I have not mentioned?
Why ask it
This tests whether the material is being generated or reflected. Give nothing, not a name, an age, or a relationship, and see whether what comes back is specific enough to attach to anyone in particular.
How do you tell the difference between something they want me to know and something you have worked out about me?
Why ask it
A fair question and the honest answers are interesting: practitioners often describe a different quality of impression. Anyone who claims never to infer anything about the person sitting in front of them is describing something no human being does.
Is there anything here you would tell me not to act on?
Why ask it
This gives a careful practitioner an opening to say plainly that a reading is not a basis for decisions, and many will take it. Someone who instead urges you to act on what you have heard has told you what the session is for.
Would you write the specific claims down so I can check them?
Why ask it
Written claims can be tested and vague ones cannot, which is why the request is often met with hesitation. Keep the note with your recording, and check it against a relative or a document rather than against your memory of the room.
Claims, checks, and where answers actually come from
Practical guidance for the conversation itself
Two kinds of thing you might be told
One kind can be checked: a name, a place, an object, a date, something written down somewhere. The other cannot: that they forgive you, that they are at peace, that they were prouder than they said. The second kind is what most people come for and it may be worth the fee on its own, but it cannot be right or wrong, so it should not be treated as information. Keep the two apart in your notes. If you leave with three checkable claims, you have something to look into; if you leave with an hour of the second kind, you have had a comforting hour, which is a different thing and worth knowing that you had.
Where the answers usually live
- Missing accounts and policies: bank and insurer tracing services, unclaimed asset registers, and the lawyer or accountant who handled their papers.
- The estate and who gets what: the will, the executor, and the probate registry, none of which a reading can alter.
- What happened medically: the treating team, the family doctor, and a request for the medical records, which relatives can usually make.
- Family history and things nobody spoke about: older relatives while they are still here, letters, photographs, and civil records.
- Why they did something you never understood: the people who knew them then, who often turn out to have known the reason all along.
If you are told a family secret
- Do not repeat it to relatives as something the dead person said. It cannot be withdrawn and it will be attributed to them, not to the practitioner.
- Ask yourself what would have to be true for it to be checkable, then check that instead.
- Be careful with claims about parentage, affairs, money taken, or who was favored. These sit exactly where grieving families are most fragile.
- Notice if the claim arrives with an offer of further sessions to explore it.
- If it concerns a crime or a safeguarding matter, the place for it is the relevant authority, and a reading is not evidence of anything.
Keeping the session clean
- Give a first name and nothing else when you book, and stay off the practitioner's social media beforehand.
- Answer in a few words, and let long pauses run without helping.
- Say "I do not know" freely. It is accurate more often than people admit and it keeps the hour honest.
- Write down what was said before you spoke, separately from what came after.
- Record it, and bring someone who can tell you afterwards how much you gave away.
Afterwards
Give it a few days, then listen back and mark each item as offered or confirmed. Follow up the checkable claims properly, because a claim that turns out to be right is worth taking seriously and one that turns out to be wrong is worth knowing about too. Leave the rest where it is. If something you were told is keeping you awake, take the specific worry to the person who can settle it: the doctor, the executor, the relative concerned. And if the wish to be told something you do not know is what keeps pulling you back, bereavement support through a hospice, a charity, a place of worship, or your doctor gives you months of it at little or no cost, without requiring you to abandon anything you believe.