Questions to Ask an Adoption Agency
For prospective adoptive parents comparing agencies at an information session or on a first call, before signing anything or paying a fee. The questions are grouped by subject: the agency itself, the home study, matching and the wait, fees and refunds, how expectant and birth parents are treated, and what happens after placement. Each has a note on what a good or a worrying answer sounds like, and because adoption rules differ by state and country, many notes tell you to ask how it works where you are.
Want questions from the whole vault instead? Try the random question generator.
The questions
Each question, and why to ask it
The agency
Are you licensed in our state, and who licenses and inspects you?
Why ask it
Ask for the name of the licensing body and the license number, then confirm both with that body yourself and ask whether any complaints are on record. An agency licensed where it is based may still need a local partner to work where you live, so ask how that is arranged. Any hesitation over a question this basic is worth writing down.
Which kinds of adoption do you handle: infant, foster care, international, or relative and stepparent?
Why ask it
Few agencies do every kind equally well, so listen for the one that makes up most of their placements. If the kind you want is a sideline, ask how many of those they completed last year and which member of staff handles them. An agency that says it does everything, with no numbers, has not answered.
Who can adopt through you, and do you set limits on age, marital status, religion, health or income?
Why ask it
Ask this before paying an application fee. Requirements can come from the agency, from the law where you live and, in international adoption, from the child's country, so ask which rule comes from where. A written list is a good sign; 'we look at each case' needs a follow-up about people in your position.
How many placements did you complete in each of the last three years, and how many families are waiting now?
Why ask it
Put the two numbers side by side: forty waiting families and ten placements a year is a very different agency from forty families and thirty placements. Ask for the figures by email so you can compare agencies later. One that cannot produce them either does not count or would prefer you did not.
Do you do everything yourselves, or do you make the match and leave the home study, counseling and legal work to others?
Why ask it
Some organizations only advertise for and match expectant parents, and every other service comes from separate providers with separate bills. Matching services are not regulated the same way as licensed agencies everywhere, so ask how it works where you live. Either model can be sound, but a fee comparison only makes sense once you know which one you are looking at.
How many families like ours have you placed a child with in the past two years?
Why ask it
Like yours might mean single, same-sex, over forty, already parents, or of a different faith from the agency. A welcoming line on the website matters less than recent placements. Where expectant parents choose the family, ask how often profiles like yours are picked and how long those families waited.
Who would be our caseworker, and how many families does that person work with at once?
Why ask it
You will deal with this one person far more than with the agency as a whole, so ask to speak with them before you sign. Find out their qualifications, how long they have been there and who covers when they are away. If nobody can state the caseload, or you cannot meet the caseworker until after you pay, expect the same distance during the wait.
How long has the agency been placing children, and has its license ever been suspended or restricted?
Why ask it
A straightforward agency answers in a sentence and explains anything on its record without being pushed, and you can check what it says with the licensing body from the first question. Years in business prove little by themselves. A recent change of name, owner or director deserves a follow-up about why.
For international adoption, which countries do you work in, and what accreditation do you hold for that work?
Why ask it
Skip this if you are adopting domestically. Intercountry adoption generally needs approval beyond a local license, and the rules depend on both countries, so ask who accredits them and how you can verify it. Then ask how many children came home through each program last year, and what happened to waiting families the last time a program closed.
Do adult adoptees or birth parents have a voice here, on the staff, on the board or in your training?
Why ask it
The people who have lived with an agency's decisions for decades know what it got wrong. Named people in real roles is a strong answer. A blank look suggests the agency thinks of adoptive parents as its only clients.
Can you put us in touch with families who adopted through you, including one whose first match fell through?
Why ask it
Any agency can find three happy families. The one whose match fell through can tell you how staff behaved in the worst week: who called, what happened to the money, and how soon their profile was shown again. If only glowing references are offered, ask again for the other kind.
Home study
Do you carry out the home study yourselves, and would you accept one we already have?
Why ask it
Some agencies insist on their own; others take a study from another licensed provider, sometimes for a review fee. If you might work with more than one agency or move during the wait, ask whether their report can be sent elsewhere and what that costs. An agency that will not release a study you paid for is limiting your options.
What are the steps of your home study, and how many weeks does it usually take from application to approval?
Why ask it
The list is set by the rules where you live, so have them hand you theirs: typically interviews, a visit to your home, background checks, and medical, financial and reference forms. Ask which step holds families up most. Anything that waits on a third party, such as a doctor's letter or a records check, is something you can start this week.
What in a family's past would stop an approval, and what would only need explaining?
Why ask it
Raise your own worry before you pay: an old arrest, a health condition, a bankruptcy, a recent divorce, treatment for depression. A good social worker tells you what the rules there exclude, what needs a letter, and what they have seen approved. 'Apply and we will see' leaves the risk and the fee with you.
How long does an approved home study last, and what does an update cost?
Why ask it
Waits can outlast a study, so the renewal fee belongs in your budget from the start. Ask how long approval lasts under the rules where you live and what forces an early update, such as a move, a new job or someone joining the household.
What training do you require before a placement, and what does it cover?
Why ask it
Look past the number of hours to the subjects: openness, talking with a child about adoption, raising a child of another race, prenatal exposure, grief on every side. Ask who teaches it and whether adoptees or birth parents speak. A course that is all paperwork prepares you for the process and not for the child.
What will we be asked to decide about the child we are open to, and can we change our answers later?
Why ask it
Expect a checklist covering age, sex, race, siblings, medical needs, prenatal exposure and family history. Ask whether someone will explain the medical terms and how each choice tends to change the wait. Be wary of staff who nudge you to widen your answers only to speed things up: an honest no protects the child as much as it protects you.
Matching and wait
How is a match made: do expectant parents choose from profiles, or do you choose for them?
Why ask it
Programs differ. In some the expectant parents pick, in others staff or a public authority proposes a family. Ask who sees your profile and how many are shown at a time, because that tells you whether the wait depends on your place in a line or on being chosen.
For families you placed with last year, what was the shortest wait, the longest, and the typical one?
Why ask it
Ask for it measured from home study approval to placement, for families with preferences like yours. A range is honest; a single cheerful number is a brochure. Then ask which preferences on the checklist lengthen the wait most.
How many of last year's matches fell through, and at what point?
Why ask it
Any agency that matches before a birth has some, because a match is a plan and the decision comes later. Listen for whether the agency counts them, and whether most ended early in the match or at the hospital. A figure near zero deserves the same follow-up as a high one: ask how it comes about.
How many families have left without a placement in the past few years, and why?
Why ask it
Few people ask, so the answer is rarely rehearsed. Reasons might include money running out, a pregnancy, or a profile that was never picked. An agency that tracks this can tell you; 'everyone who stays gets a placement' says nothing about the people who could not stay.
Do you limit how many waiting families you take on?
Why ask it
An agency that accepts every applicant collects fees from all of them and places with some. A cap, or a pause on new applications when the list grows, shows that intake is tied to placements. Ask when they last closed to new families.
How do expectant parents find you, and do you advertise or pay outside services for referrals?
Why ask it
Word of mouth, hospitals and local social workers suggest one kind of agency; heavy online advertising across many states suggests another, so ask where that cost sits in your fees. Ask to see an advertisement. One that leads with paid living expenses is recruiting, which is different from informing.
What medical and social history will we see before we say yes to a match, and how long do we get to decide?
Why ask it
Ask for a blank copy of the form they use, and which parts come from medical records and which are self-reported. Find out whether a doctor has confirmed the pregnancy before any match fee is due, and whether a pediatrician of your choice can review the file. A few hours and no documents is not enough to decide on.
Can we turn down a match, and what happens to our place if we do?
Why ask it
The answer you want is no penalty, a conversation about why, and straight back to waiting. A limit on refusals, or a hint that declining counts against you, pushes families into situations they are not equipped for. Ask how the last family who said no was treated.
Do you place babies who have already been born, and how much notice would we get?
Why ask it
These calls can mean a day or two to travel, pay and decide. Ask whether you can opt in or out, what you would be told on the phone and what would be due at once. Settle between yourselves beforehand how you would answer, because the call will not leave time for it.
How often will we hear from you while we wait, even when there is no news?
Why ask it
Months of silence are harder than a long wait you can see into. A good answer is a schedule: a regular check-in, a report of how often your profile was shown, and a review of the profile if it has not been picked. Ask too whether help with writing and photographing it costs extra.
If the match is in another state or country, how long should we expect to stay there, and who pays?
Why ask it
Taking a child across a state or national border can mean waiting for a clearance the agency does not control, so ask how long recent families stayed and budget for the long end. Ask who books and pays for lodging, and whether one parent can go home early.
If we adopt from foster care, will the birth parents' rights already have ended when the child moves in?
Why ask it
For foster care programs only. The answer decides how certain the placement is: in some cases the child is already free to be adopted, and in others a return to the family is still the plan and you would be fostering first. How this works depends on the law where the child lives, so have the agency walk you through its last few cases.
Fees and refunds
Can we have your full fee schedule in writing, showing what each fee pays for and when it is due?
Why ask it
Ask before you apply. A good schedule lists every line with the event that triggers it: application, home study, profile, match, placement, finalization. If fees are only discussed in person, or only after an application fee, treat that as an answer.
Beyond your own fees, what else will we pay for, and what did the all-in total come to for families last year?
Why ask it
Common ones are attorney and court fees, an expectant mother's medical and living expenses, travel, post-placement visits and document costs. Ask for the lowest and highest totals among families placed last year instead of an average. The gap between the agency fee and the real total is where budgets break.
If a match falls through after we have paid, what is refunded, what rolls over to the next match and what is lost?
Why ask it
Have them go down the fee schedule and mark each line with one of the three. Money already passed to an expectant mother is often handled differently from the agency's own fees, so ask how that works there. Then ask for the worst case in dollars and for the clause that says so.
Does a rolled-over fee expire, and how many matches does it cover?
Why ask it
A credit that lapses after a set time, or after one more match that falls through, is worth far less than it sounds. Get the limit in writing. If the agency sells a plan that covers repeated fall-throughs, ask what it costs and what it leaves out.
If we are the ones who stop, because of a pregnancy, a move or money, what do we get back?
Why ask it
Withdrawing is not the same as a match falling through, and a contract may treat it less generously. Ask for the answer at three points: before the home study is finished, during the wait and after a match. Putting the process on hold instead of leaving is worth asking about too.
How are an expectant mother's living expenses handled, and is there a ceiling on what we would be asked to pay?
Why ask it
What may be paid, for how long and who reviews it depends on the law that applies, which differs from place to place, so ask how it works where this agency operates. A sound process runs every payment through the agency with receipts and gives you an estimate before you accept a match. Be careful where requests arrive by phone with no ceiling and no paperwork.
Do your fees change with a child's race, age or health, or with our income?
Why ask it
Agencies set fees in different ways: one fee for every placement, a scale tied to the family's income, or separate programs at separate prices. Have them say which applies and what the difference pays for. If a price turns on the child's race and the reasoning does not sit right with you, that is a fair reason to choose another agency.
Can fees rise while we are waiting, or does our contract fix them?
Why ask it
A wait can cross more than one price change. Ask whether you pay the schedule you signed or the one in force on the day of the match, and have the answer written into the agreement.
Who holds money we pay in advance, and is it kept apart from the agency's running costs?
Why ask it
Ask whether advance payments sit in an escrow or trust account and who can release them. An agency can close with families still waiting, and where the money was held can decide what comes back. A good answer names the account; a defensive one is a reason to pay as late as the contract allows.
What help with the cost do you point families to, such as tax credits, employer benefits, grants or loans?
Why ask it
What exists depends on your country, your state and your employer, so treat the agency's list as a starting point and confirm each item with its source or a tax professional. An agency that steers you to one lender should be asked whether it receives anything for the referral.
Can we be signed with another agency or an attorney at the same time as you?
Why ask it
Some families list with more than one agency so that more expectant parents see their profile, and some contracts forbid it. Ask what you would owe this agency if your match came through someone else, and what you would get back. An exclusive contract is a bigger commitment when the wait is long, so weigh it against the placement numbers you were given.
May we take the contract home and have an attorney read it before we sign or pay?
Why ask it
Yes, with no deadline, is the only good answer. At home, read what the agency actually promises (usually services, not a child), the refund clause, and how either side can end the agreement. A discount for signing at the information session is pressure.
Birth parents
What counseling do expectant parents receive, who provides it, and does it continue after placement?
Why ask it
The strongest answer is a qualified counselor, free of charge, available whether or not they place and for a long time afterward. If the only counseling comes from the worker whose job is to complete placements, ask who an expectant mother can talk to who has no stake in her decision. Then find out how long after placement a birth parent can still call.
Do expectant parents have their own attorney or advocate, separate from ours?
Why ask it
You are looking for someone whose only job is their interests, and for the agency to explain who pays for that under the rules there. An agency should be able to say why this protects everyone, you included. 'They do not really need one' should make you ask who explains the papers to them before they sign.
How do you talk with an expectant mother about raising the baby herself?
Why ask it
Good practice covers parenting as a real option, with information on benefits, housing and family help, and no deadline to decide. Listen to the vocabulary as well. Staff who talk about a mother who might change her mind as a risk to be managed are telling you whose side they think they are on.
When a mother decides to parent after the birth, what do you do for her and for us?
Why ask it
Both halves matter. Ask whether she keeps her counselor and whether she would ever be asked to repay expenses, which depends on the rules there. Then ask who would call you and when your profile would be shown again.
How do you find and involve birth fathers?
Why ask it
A father's rights depend on the law that applies to the case, so ask how the agency handles notice and consent in the places it works, and what it does when he is unknown or unwilling. Real efforts to reach him, and counseling offered to him too, are the signs of an agency doing it properly. One that treats him as an obstacle to get around is creating a risk your family would carry.
When and where is consent signed, and who is in the room?
Why ask it
Timing, and whether consent can be withdrawn, are set by law, so have them walk you through it for each place they work. Then listen for practice: time alone with the baby, a support person of her choosing, nobody from the adoptive family nearby. A consent given freely is the only kind you want.
What does openness look like in your recent placements, and who decides how much contact there is?
Why ask it
Ask for the spread across last year's placements: letters and photos through the agency, direct messages, visits. A good agency helps both families settle on something they can keep up, and stays available when one side wants more or less later. If you hear that most birth mothers want no contact, ask how the agency knows.
Do you put contact agreements in writing, and what do you do if one side stops keeping to it?
Why ask it
Whether a written agreement can be enforced depends on where you are, so ask the agency and then an attorney. The more practical question is whether staff will mediate five years on, forward letters, or help find a birth parent who has moved. 'That is between the families' means you would be handling it alone.
How do you prepare us for meeting the expectant parents and for the days at the hospital?
Why ask it
Ask who writes the hospital plan (it should be hers, and she can change it), who will be there with you, and what is expected about holding, naming and visiting. Good preparation includes the possibility of coming home without a baby. An agency that skips that part is selling a happy ending.
After placement
What happens between placement and the adoption becoming final, and how many visits will you make?
Why ask it
Usually there is a supervised period with visits and a written report, and its length is set by the rules where you live. Ask what each visit costs, who writes the report, and what your legal standing is in the meantime. Put that last one to your attorney as well.
Who handles the court finalization, and is that inside your fee?
Why ask it
Some agencies have an attorney they work with; others leave you to hire your own. Get a name and an estimate now, and ask who orders the new birth certificate. For a child born abroad, ask what further steps citizenship needs and whether the agency helps with them.
What do you offer our family in the years after finalization?
Why ask it
Listen for things with names: a support group, a counselor who knows adoption, a person to call when school or the teenage years get hard. Ask what is free and what is billed. 'Our door is always open' is goodwill, and you are asking about services.
If a placement is in serious trouble, what do you do, and has one of yours ever ended?
Why ask it
An agency with any history has seen families struggle, so 'that does not happen here' is the answer to distrust. Look for early visits, respite, referrals to therapists who understand adoption, and candor about a case that went badly and what changed afterward.
If we adopt a child of another race or from another country, what do you offer beyond the required class?
Why ask it
A single class is a beginning. Strong answers are ongoing: mentors, groups that include adult adoptees, help finding community where you live. Be cautious of an agency whose whole answer is that love will be enough.
What records do you keep, and how would our child get them as an adult?
Why ask it
Ask what goes in the file, how long it is kept and where files go if the agency closes. Access to original birth records is a matter of law where the child was born, so ask how it works there. Ask too whether a birth parent can send a medical update years later and have it reach you.
What do families most often tell you they wish they had known before they started?
Why ask it
Save it for the end. An agency that listens to its families has an answer ready, and the useful follow-up is what it changed as a result. No answer suggests nobody asked them.
How to compare adoption agencies
Practical guidance for the conversation itself
Before the first call
Settle the route first
An agency that is excellent at infant placements may do very little in foster care or overseas. Agree between you, even loosely, which kind of adoption you are pursuing, so that you are comparing agencies that do the same work.
Check the license yourself
Find the body that licenses adoption agencies where you live and look the agency up before the session. Then the first group of questions can be about what you found, instead of resting on what you are told.
Ask for the fee schedule by email
Request it when you book. An agency that sends it without fuss has already answered one question, and you can arrive having read it, with the lines you do not understand marked.
Keep the meeting for what needs a voice
A first call will not cover the whole list. Licensing, placement numbers and fee details can go by email, which also gives you the answers in writing. Save the time in the room for how matches fall through, how expectant parents are counseled and what last year's wait was really like.
At the session or on the call
Ask about last year, not the usual
'What was the wait for families you placed with last year' gets a number. 'How long is the wait' gets a line from the brochure. The same goes for total cost, matches that fell through and families who left.
Listen to how birth parents are spoken about
Notice the words staff use for expectant mothers and fathers when the talk turns to delays and risk. The way they are described to a room of paying clients is a fair guide to how your child's first family would be treated.
Write down who said what
Put the person's name and the date beside every answer about money or timing. If the contract later says something different, you have a specific sentence to ask about instead of a general impression.
Ask who will send what, and by when
Before you leave, get a name and a date for the placement figures, the fee schedule and a sample contract. How quickly and how completely they arrive is your first experience of being this agency's client, and it costs nothing to find out before the application fee.
Comparing two or three agencies
Build one sheet of all-in costs
For each agency list its own fees, then the home study, legal work, expectant parent expenses, travel and post-placement visits, using the high figure each time. The lowest headline fee is not always the lowest total once the outside costs are added.
Compare the worst case
Set side by side what each agency would refund, roll over or keep if a match fell through the day before placement. Agencies with similar fees can leave you in very different positions in that one scenario.
Set placements against waiting families
Divide each agency's waiting families by its placements last year. The figure is rough, and it ignores who was open to what, but it lets you test the wait you were quoted.
Weigh how each treats expectant parents
Compare the counseling, the independent legal advice and what happens when a mother decides to parent. The agency that does most here may not be the fastest. It is the one whose placement you will be able to explain to your child.
Reasons to keep looking
Promises about speed
No agency controls when an expectant parent chooses a family or when a court sits. One that promises a baby within a set number of months is promising something it does not decide.
Fees that stay vague
No written schedule, totals that are 'different for everyone', or large sums due before any service has been delivered. If you cannot work out what you would lose when a match falls through, you are not ready to sign.
Pressure on anyone
Pressure on you to sign today, to widen your checklist or to accept a match within hours; pressure on an expectant mother to decide before she is ready. An agency that does the first is likely to do the second.
Nothing you can check
No license you can verify, no families you can call, no named caseworker until after payment. Each can have an innocent explanation. All three together do not.