Questions to ask during pregnancy and with a new baby

What can you help with around feeding, and where do you stop?

Doula training covers positioning and basic troubleshooting, not diagnosis of tongue tie or supply problems. A candid answer names the limit and the lactation consultant they refer to.

From: Questions to Ask a Potential Doula

How is your body healing?

Recovery from birth is physically significant and almost nobody asks after the first week. Follow her lead on detail: some will want to talk about stitches, bleeding or a caesarean scar, others will simply be relieved someone remembered.

From: Questions to Ask a New Mom

What should I do when nothing stops the crying and I feel myself losing patience?

Pediatric offices hear this constantly, and it is a good one to raise with your partner in the room. A workable answer is a few steps short enough to remember when exhausted: a safe place to lay the baby, a set number of minutes in another room, a name to ring. Pass it on to grandparents and anyone else who will be alone with the baby.

From: Questions to Ask a Pediatrician at the 2 Week Visit

Have you been pregnant before, and how did those pregnancies go?

Clinics generally require a prior uncomplicated pregnancy, so this is partly verification. The useful detail is in the specifics: how she felt, how long she worked, whether there was preeclampsia, gestational diabetes, a long labour, a caesarean. Vague answers about her own medical history are worth following up on with her records rather than in conversation.

From: Questions to Ask a Surrogate

What do you want to stay the same between us?

Friends without children worry about this in silence, and so does she. Settle on one thing to keep in some form, such as the Sunday call, the group chat or the yearly trip, and be the one who keeps it going when she is too tired to.

From: Questions to Ask a Pregnant Woman

Which separate bills should I expect after the birth, and how do I match each one to your explanation of benefits?

A birth can produce several: the hospital, the obstetrician, anesthesia, the lab, the baby's hospital stay and the baby's doctor. Find out where each explanation of benefits appears and how long claims take to settle. It is reasonable to hold a provider's bill until the insurer's statement shows the same amount as your share, and to query it when the two differ.

From: Questions to Ask Your Insurance About Maternity Coverage