20 Questions

Questions to Ask Christian Dating

Meaningful questions to ask when dating as a Christian, covering faith, values, future goals, and building a relationship centered on God.

1

How important is your faith in your daily life?

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Why this works

Understanding their spiritual commitment helps assess compatibility and shared values in a Christian relationship.

2

What does your relationship with God look like on a regular basis?

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Why this works

Learning about their spiritual practices reveals how they prioritize faith and what spiritual disciplines they value.

3

How do you see God's role in our relationship?

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Why this works

Understanding their perspective on God's involvement helps ensure you're both seeking God's will for your relationship.

4

What are your views on marriage and family from a biblical perspective?

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Why this works

Aligning on marriage and family values is crucial for long-term compatibility in a Christian relationship.

5

How do you handle conflict and disagreements in relationships?

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Why this works

Learning about their conflict resolution style helps understand how they'll handle challenges in your relationship.

6

What role does prayer play in your decision-making?

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Why this works

Understanding their prayer life reveals how they seek God's guidance and make important decisions.

7

How do you want to serve God together as a couple?

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Why this works

Discussing shared ministry goals helps ensure you're both committed to serving God together.

8

What are your thoughts on physical boundaries in dating?

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Why this works

Aligning on physical boundaries is important for maintaining purity and honoring God in your relationship.

9

How do you handle temptation and maintain purity?

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Why this works

Understanding their approach to purity helps ensure you're both committed to honoring God in your relationship.

10

What does biblical love mean to you?

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Why this works

Understanding their definition of love helps ensure you're both committed to loving each other as God intended.

11

How do you want to raise children in the faith?

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Why this works

Discussing parenting approaches helps ensure you're both committed to raising children who love and serve God.

12

What are your views on gender roles in marriage?

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Why this works

Aligning on gender roles helps ensure you're both committed to the same vision for your marriage.

13

How do you handle stress and difficult times?

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Why this works

Understanding their coping mechanisms helps ensure you can support each other through life's challenges.

14

What are your spiritual goals and how do you plan to achieve them?

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Why this works

Learning about their spiritual aspirations helps ensure you're both committed to growing in faith together.

15

How do you want to handle finances from a biblical perspective?

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Why this works

Discussing financial values helps ensure you're both committed to managing money in a way that honors God.

16

What are your views on church involvement and community?

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Why this works

Understanding their commitment to church helps ensure you're both committed to being part of a faith community.

17

How do you want to handle disagreements about faith or theology?

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Why this works

Learning about their approach to theological differences helps ensure you can navigate these challenges together.

18

What are your thoughts on mission work and serving others?

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Why this works

Discussing service and mission helps ensure you're both committed to serving God and others together.

19

How do you want to handle holidays and special occasions?

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Why this works

Understanding their approach to celebrations helps ensure you're both committed to honoring God in your traditions.

20

What are your hopes and dreams for our future together?

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Why this works

Discussing future goals helps ensure you're both committed to building a life together that honors God.

Best Practices for Christian Dating

Expert tips and techniques for getting the most out of these questions.

Best Practices

Keep God at the Center

Always seek God's will for your relationship. Pray together and individually about your relationship.

Be Honest About Your Faith

Don't hide your spiritual struggles or questions. Authenticity is crucial in a Christian relationship.

Set Clear Boundaries

Establish physical and emotional boundaries that honor God and protect your relationship.

Seek Wise Counsel

Involve trusted Christian mentors, pastors, or counselors in your relationship decisions.

Question Sequences

The Faith Foundation Sequence

1
How important is your faith in your daily life?
2
What does your relationship with God look like on a regular basis?
3
How do you see God's role in our relationship?
4
What are your spiritual goals and how do you plan to achieve them?

The Relationship Values Sequence

1
What does biblical love mean to you?
2
How do you handle conflict and disagreements in relationships?
3
What are your thoughts on physical boundaries in dating?
4
How do you want to serve God together as a couple?

The Future Planning Sequence

1
What are your views on marriage and family from a biblical perspective?
2
How do you want to raise children in the faith?
3
What are your views on gender roles in marriage?
4
What are your hopes and dreams for our future together?

Common Pitfalls

Don't Rush Into Physical Intimacy

Physical intimacy should wait until marriage. Don't let physical attraction override spiritual discernment.

Don't Ignore Red Flags

If someone's actions don't align with their words about faith, pay attention to these warning signs.

Don't Compromise Your Values

Don't let the relationship cause you to compromise your faith or values. Stay true to your beliefs.

Don't Skip the Hard Questions

Ask the difficult questions about faith, values, and future goals. It's better to know now than later.

Conversation Templates

The Getting to Know You Framework

1
Step 1: Start with: 'How important is your faith in your daily life?'
2
Step 2: Follow with: 'What does your relationship with God look like on a regular basis?'
3
Step 3: Ask: 'How do you see God's role in our relationship?'
4
Step 4: Close with: 'What are your spiritual goals and how do you plan to achieve them?'

The Future Planning Framework

1
Step 1: Start with: 'What are your views on marriage and family from a biblical perspective?'
2
Step 2: Follow with: 'How do you want to raise children in the faith?'
3
Step 3: Ask: 'What are your views on gender roles in marriage?'
4
Step 4: Close with: 'What are your hopes and dreams for our future together?'

Further Reading

"The Meaning of Marriage" by Timothy Keller
"Boundaries in Dating" by Henry Cloud and John Townsend
"Sacred Marriage" by Gary Thomas
Focus on the Family dating resources

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