Questions to Ask the Dad at a Baby Shower
For the host setting up the dad-to-be game at a baby shower, where he answers ahead of time or on the spot and the mother-to-be, or the whole room, guesses what he said. The 47 questions follow the order the game plays best: The news, Pregnancy, About Mom, Baby guesses, Dad duty and Heart, from one-word answers she can score points on to the few worth saving for the end. Choose eight to twelve, collect his answers about a week early, and leave out anything you would not ask with both sets of grandparents in the front row.
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The questions
Each question, and why to ask it
The news
Where were you when you found out she was pregnant?
Why ask it
A place is a one-word answer, so it makes a fair first guess for her and an easy point to score. If you are filming him, ask what he was holding or doing at the time, since "in the garage with a drill in my hand" plays far better than "at home."
What were the first words out of your mouth when she told you?
Why ask it
She was there, so she ought to get this one, and the fun is in how differently the two of them remember the line. When the versions clash, let the room vote on whose sounds more like him and keep moving.
What date is the baby due?
Why ask it
The trap question of the game: a dad who misses by a week will hear about it until the cake is cut. Leave it out if the date has moved around or been a source of worry, because then a wrong answer is not funny.
Who was the first person you told, and were you allowed to?
Why ask it
The second half carries the laugh, because somebody nearly always cracked early. Check his answer before the party if a grandparent in the room believes they heard first.
Was your first guess a boy or a girl?
Why ask it
One word, so it suits the whiteboard version, and she tends to remember exactly how sure he sounded. Ask about his guess and never about which he was hoping for, and check with the couple first if they are keeping the sex to themselves.
How long did you manage to keep the news a secret?
Why ask it
His answer is a number of days or hours, which lets every guest write a guess and the closest one win. Read this one aloud, because it is too short to be worth a video clip.
What did the first ultrasound picture look like to you?
Why ask it
Honest answers are a weather map, a bean or a gummy bear, and he will be relieved to admit it. Hold up the picture only if the parents have already been sharing it, and ask them before the party, not during.
What was the first baby thing you bought without being asked?
Why ask it
Usually tiny sneakers, a team onesie or something that will not fit for two years. Find out ahead of time and have the item in the room, since holding it up beats any description.
Pregnancy
Which food has she craved most these past months?
Why ask it
She knows the true answer better than he does, which turns his reply into a test of attention. If he names something she went off months ago, ask what hour of the night he last drove out for it.
What food or smell has been banned from the house?
Why ask it
Aversions get bigger laughs than cravings because he had to give something up. The follow-up is where he has been eating it instead, and the answer is often the car.
What do you call the baby when you talk to the bump?
Why ask it
Works even when the real name is under wraps, and it tells the room whether he talks to the bump at all. A placeholder name that sounds rude out of context is one to hear in advance if a great-grandmother is coming.
Which piece of baby gear took you longest to put together?
Why ask it
Ask for the time in hours and the number of screws left over. For a video answer, film him standing next to the finished crib or stroller so the guests can judge the workmanship.
What would you say your main job has been during the pregnancy?
Why ask it
He will claim foot rubs, snack runs or chief furniture mover, and she may have a different job title for him. After his answer, give her one sentence for a performance review and no more.
Which pregnancy symptom did you come down with in sympathy?
Why ask it
Naps, snacking and a mysteriously tighter waistband are the usual confessions. Use it early in the group, because it puts the teasing on him and makes clear nobody will be joking about her body.
What were you doing the first time you felt the baby kick?
Why ask it
A gentle one to place among the jokes, and she usually remembers his face better than he remembers the moment. Skip it if he has not felt a kick yet, or if the baby is arriving by adoption or surrogacy.
About Mom
What is her favorite thing about being pregnant?
Why ask it
He is guessing at her view here, so she is the judge, and she may be touched that he noticed. If he blanks, let her answer and have him repeat it back like a student. After a rough pregnancy, ask what she is looking forward to having back and leave this one in the pile.
What is she most looking forward to having again after the baby is born?
Why ask it
Sushi, a long run, sleeping flat on her stomach. Whoever is organizing meals or a gift for after the birth should write this answer down.
What does she do that tells you the nesting has started?
Why ask it
Expect a label maker, a drawer of onesies sorted by size, or a closet emptied at midnight. Watch his recorded answer before the party: told with admiration it is charming, and told as a complaint it should be cut.
What is the one thing she has told you not to forget on the day?
Why ask it
She knows this answer cold, so have her say it first and then reveal his. A match earns him the loudest cheer of the game, and a miss is useful news for her while there is still time to tape a note to the front door.
What does she think you will be worst at?
Why ask it
A double guess: he predicts her opinion and she confirms or corrects it. Steer both of them toward tasks, such as swaddling or packing light, and away from anything that sounds like a verdict on his character.
Which of you has cried more since you found out, and over what?
Why ask it
The trigger is the part worth hearing: a commercial, a pair of socks, a song in the grocery store. Men who would never volunteer this on the spot will often say it to a camera, so film it.
Which of her traits do you most hope the baby gets?
Why ask it
Put it last in the group, because it changes the temperature of the room. Do not ask her to guess this one. Seat her facing the screen and just play his answer.
Baby guesses
Who will the baby look more like, you or her?
Why ask it
Follow up with the one feature he hopes comes from her side, because a dad whose own hairline is a family topic will have an answer ready. Baby photos of both parents on the table give guests something to argue from. Leave it out for an adoption or a donor, where resemblance is not the point.
What do you think the baby will weigh?
Why ask it
Write his number on a card, collect guesses from the guests, and settle it by text after the birth. Treat it as a raffle and not a wish, and keep the room from commenting on what size a baby ought to be.
What day do you really think the baby will arrive?
Why ask it
Pairs with a wall calendar where each guest initials a day. Drop it if a delivery date has already been scheduled, since that leaves nothing to guess.
What will the baby's first word be?
Why ask it
He says Dada, she says Mama, and every parent in the room says no. Seal both answers in an envelope for the baby book, to be opened when the word arrives.
Which of you was the easier baby, according to your own mothers?
Why ask it
Only worth asking when at least one grandmother is at the shower, because she will overrule him on the spot. Her ruling is the entertainment, so read his answer aloud and then hand her the floor for a minute.
Which of your habits is the baby most likely to pick up?
Why ask it
Answers split between the endearing, like humming while cooking, and the ones she has been asking him to stop. Her guess is often a different habit from his, and comparing the two is the fun.
Which name did you campaign for that got turned down?
Why ask it
His lost cause, and she will know it instantly because she heard the pitch for months. Find out the name first: if a guest or a relative carries it, pick another question.
Which team, band or hobby will you try to pass on first?
Why ask it
Nearly always answerable in one word, so it suits the whiteboard version where both write and reveal. If someone has bought the matching onesie, this is the cue to hand it over.
Where is the first place you want to take the baby?
Why ask it
A ballpark, a lake, his grandmother's kitchen. If you are filming ahead and the place is nearby, record this answer there, since it is the one clip where a change of scenery pays off.
Who will the baby go to when they want a yes?
Why ask it
Whichever parent he names, the other gets a right of reply. A grandparent is an acceptable answer and frequently the accurate one, which the grandparent will enjoy hearing.
Dad duty
How many diapers have you changed in your life so far?
Why ask it
A number, so guests can guess along, and zero is common and nothing to be ashamed of. If your shower includes a diaper-the-doll race, schedule it straight after this question and put him in it.
Which baby task are you claiming as yours?
Why ask it
Write his answer on a card and hand it to her to keep, because a claim made in front of both families is hard to take back. If he picks something easy like stroller walks, let the room bargain him up to bath time.
Which baby task are you hoping to dodge?
Why ask it
Ask it directly after the one he claimed so the two answers sit side by side. Nail clipping and car seat buckles come up as often as diapers, and the experienced parents in the room will groan in recognition.
Who will get up first when the baby cries at night?
Why ask it
Every parent present starts laughing before he finishes answering. Keep the room off the subject of how the baby will be fed, which tends to follow this question and is the couple's to raise or not.
How many hours of sleep a night do you expect in the first month?
Why ask it
Whatever figure he gives, the veterans will find it optimistic, and their reaction is the payoff. Cap the advice that follows at one sentence per guest or the game stalls here.
What are you hoping the baby will call you: Dad, Daddy, Papa or something else?
Why ask it
Family names carry history, so a grandfather may recognize his own title being handed down or passed over. That is a happy moment in most families, and if titles are a sore point in this one, leave it out.
What dad joke are you saving for the baby?
Why ask it
Delivery is everything, which makes this the strongest case for video: he gets a second take and the room gets to groan at the screen. Score it by the volume of the groaning.
What is the first thing you plan to teach the baby?
Why ask it
Make him demonstrate on a doll or a rolled-up blanket, whatever the skill is. A grown man coaching an imaginary infant through a fist bump needs no commentary, which is why this one is better live than read from a card.
Heart
What makes you most nervous about becoming a dad?
Why ask it
Give him this one in advance so he can decide how deep to go. On the spot in front of his in-laws he will say diapers, and that is a fine answer too. Do not dig for more in public: a real answer gets a nod and the next question.
What are you most looking forward to doing with the baby?
Why ask it
The answers are small and specific: a first walk, Saturday pancakes, a nap on his chest. It makes a soft landing after the nerves question, so ask the two back to back.
What is one thing from your own childhood that you want this baby to have too?
Why ask it
It asks about his childhood and not his father on purpose, since not every man has a dad he wants to quote. When the answer turns out to be a person sitting in the room, stop after it and let them have the moment.
What have you seen in her these past months that tells you she will be a great mom?
Why ask it
Ask him for one moment he witnessed, not a list of adjectives, because a single scene is what gets to her. On video this is the last clip you play, and someone should have tissues within reach.
What promise are you making her for the first month at home?
Why ask it
Push him past "I will help" to something she could hold him to, such as answering the door to every visitor or owning the dishes for thirty days. The guests become witnesses, which is half the reason to ask in public.
What is the first thing you want to say to the baby?
Why ask it
No guessing on this one, so play the clip or have him say it to the room. Save the recording and send it to the parents afterward, since it is the answer the child may want to hear someday.
A year from now, what do you hope she says about you as a dad?
Why ask it
A closer that gives him a target and gives her a line to quote back at the first birthday. If you run the game with cards, have him write this answer in his own handwriting and tuck it into the baby book.
How to run the dad-to-be question game
Practical guidance for the conversation itself
Four ways to play it
Filmed ahead, played at the shower
Record him about a week before, one short clip per question, phone held sideways in a quiet room. At the party, read the question, take her guess, then press play. Aim for clips under twenty seconds, and test the television or speaker with one of them before the first guest arrives, because a clip nobody can hear ends the game.
His answers on cards, read by the host
He texts or writes his answers and you copy them onto index cards. You read the question, she guesses, you read what he said in your best impression of him. It needs no screen, it suits a dad who goes stiff on camera, and it lets you quietly drop an answer that would not go over.
Both of them live, with whiteboards
Sit the couple back to back with a small whiteboard or a pad each. Both write, both reveal on a count of three. Use only the questions with a one-word or one-number answer, which is most of The news and Baby guesses, and leave Heart for another moment.
Guests guess on paper
Print ten questions with a blank beside each and hand out pens. Guests write what they think he said, you reveal his answers, and the most matches wins a small prize. Open questions cannot be marked, so build the sheet from places, dates, numbers and names.
Picking the questions
Eight to twelve is a full game
With guesses, laughter and one grandmother interrupting, ten questions fill about a quarter of an hour, which is as long as a room full of people holding cake plates will sit still. Take one or two from each group and stop while people still want another.
Mix the kinds of answer
Open with three quick facts she can win points on, put the funny ones in the middle, and finish with one or two from Heart. A game made only of facts feels like a quiz he can fail, and one made only of tender answers has nowhere to go after the second question.
Get a no-go list without showing her the questions
She is the one guessing, so she cannot vet the list. Ask her a week ahead for the topics she would hate to have raised, and run your final ten past her sister or closest friend. The dad should see every question in advance unless the two of you have agreed he is playing it live.
What to cut for a mixed room
With grandparents, coworkers and children present, leave out anything about her body, how the baby came to be, feeding plans, money and the birth itself. The test for a borderline question is who the joke lands on: if it is him, keep it, and if it is her, drop it.
Hosting it on the day
Score lightly
One point per match, counted out loud, and a prize for her whatever the total. Some hosts hand her a piece of bubble gum or a chocolate for each miss, which is harmless if she likes the idea, so ask her before the party and not in front of the room.
When he gets one wrong
A missed due date or a craving from the wrong trimester is the best thing that can happen to the game, once. Let the room laugh, say "moving on" and read the next question before a relative turns it into a talk about paying attention.
If he is in the room
Give him a chair beside her, not a spot at the back by the snack table. Allow him one sentence of defense per answer. A dad who starts explaining at length is usually nervous, and the kindest thing a host can do is ask the next question.
Keep what he said
The clips or cards are a better keepsake than most of what gets unwrapped. Put his predictions for the weight, the day and the first word in an envelope to be checked later, and send the couple the full video the same week, before it is buried in your camera roll.
Fitting the game to this family
A second or third baby
He has changed the diapers and knows the sleep figure, so those questions lose their joke. Reword them as comparisons, what he will do differently this time and what the older child has said about the baby, and let the big brother or sister do some of the guessing.
Adoption or surrogacy
Leave out the Pregnancy group and reword The news around the call or the match: where he was, what he said, who he told. Baby guesses, Dad duty and Heart work as written, apart from the questions about looks.
Two dads, or a parent who will not be called Dad
The game runs the same way with each partner answering about the other. Swap the pronouns and titles on your cards before the party, and ask the couple which names they are using for themselves, since that is a decision some families have already made with care.
A dad who cannot be there
For a father who is deployed, working away or sitting out a shower that his family keeps to the women, voice memos work nearly as well as video and are easier to get out of him. If the distance is hard on her, finish on the one question he recorded for her and skip the scoring.