Questions to Ask About Favorites
Favorite questions to ask anyone. The list opens with the classics (food, movie, song, color, season), then goes group by group through what people eat, watch and listen to, the places they like, their everyday habits and a last set about people and memories. All 71 have a note on what to listen for or what to ask next. They suit a first date, a long drive or a family dinner table, and the plainest ones can be copied onto a favorites sheet for a teacher or a gift exchange.
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The questions
Each question, and why to ask it
Classics
What's your favorite food of all time?
Why ask it
Nobody has to think hard about this one, which is why it opens so many conversations. Ask whether they'd have said the same thing at ten. If the answer has changed since then, there is usually a trip or a person behind the change.
What's your favorite movie?
Why ask it
Ask where they first saw it and who was with them. A favorite movie is usually pinned to a theater, a couch or an older sibling, and that memory is easier to talk about than the plot.
What's your favorite song right now?
Why ask it
The words right now take away the pressure of choosing one song for all time, which makes most people freeze. A current favorite also changes, so you can ask the same person again next month and get a new answer.
What's your favorite color, and has it always been that one?
Why ask it
Anyone can answer in a second, from a five-year-old to a nervous date, so it's a safe first question. The story is in the switch: people who changed colors often remember the bedroom wall, team jersey or coat that did it.
What's your favorite season, and what do you do in it that you can't do the rest of the year?
Why ask it
Listen for the activity more than the season: swimming outdoors, lighting the first fire, getting the heavy coat back out. Any of them is something you can suggest doing together when that time of year comes around. Where the year only has a wet and a dry season, ask which of the two they'd pick.
What's your favorite animal, and is it one you'd want to live with?
Why ask it
Children answer this instantly and adults have to think, which is half the fun of asking it at a family table. Someone who says octopus and someone who says dog mean different things by favorite: one admires from a distance, the other wants company on the couch.
What's your favorite book, or the one you've read the most times?
Why ask it
Offering the reread as an alternative rescues people who don't feel well read enough to name a favorite. For a non-reader, swap in a magazine, a comic or a series from childhood so nobody feels caught out.
What's your favorite TV show, and which character would you want as a friend?
Why ask it
People will defend the character harder than the show. See whether they go for the funny one, the loyal one or the one who causes all the trouble, then say who you'd pick from the same cast.
What's your favorite holiday, and which part of the day do you like best?
Why ask it
Most answers turn out to be about a single hour: the cooking, the quiet morning before anyone else is up, the walk afterwards. Go gently with someone who has reason to find the big holidays hard, and let them pick a minor one.
What's your favorite day of the week?
Why ask it
Friday usually means anticipation and Sunday usually means quiet, but now and then someone names a Tuesday because of one standing plan: a class, a team practice, a show that airs that night. Find out what happens on their day, since the plan is the real favorite.
Do you have a favorite number, and is there a story behind it?
Why ask it
Sometimes there's nothing behind it at all, and that's a fine answer. When there is, you get a jersey number, a birthday or the door of a childhood house, all from a question that sounded like nothing.
What's your favorite flower, or a plant you've managed to keep alive?
Why ask it
Worth knowing for the plain reason that you may one day buy them some. A person who can't name a flower may give you a tree outside a childhood window or one stubborn houseplant, and that tends to be the better story.
What's your favorite smell, and where does it take you?
Why ask it
Hardly anyone answers with a perfume. They say cut grass, gasoline, rain on a hot sidewalk or bread, then go quiet for a second while they work out when they last smelled it. Give them that second before you ask where they were.
What's your favorite sport or team, and how did you end up with it?
Why ask it
A team is often handed down by a parent or a hometown, so this is a family question in a team scarf. Someone with no interest in sports will say so quickly and with feeling, and how they escaped it is a conversation too.
What's your favorite word, for the sound of it or for what it means?
Why ask it
It sorts people into those who like how a word feels to say and those who like what it lets them express. Keen readers and small children are both very good at this one, and at a full table somebody will pick a word just because it's fun to say twice.
Food
What's your favorite dessert, and where do you get the best one?
Why ask it
Sweet favorites come with a supplier: one bakery, one aunt, one brand that changed its recipe and was never forgiven. You also walk away with a very easy gift idea.
What's your favorite ice cream flavor, in a cone or a cup?
Why ask it
About as low stakes as a question gets, so it works with children, grandparents and a table of strangers. The cone or cup part sounds like a joke and starts a real debate. If you can, settle it by going to get one.
What's your favorite thing to put on a pizza?
Why ask it
Practical as well as chatty, because you can use the answer the next time you order for both of you. Ask what they pick off as well. Dislikes get stated with far more conviction than likes.
What's your favorite snack when nobody is watching?
Why ask it
Everyone has a private one: cereal straight from the box, cheese cut off the block, chips inside a sandwich. Confess yours first and the standard of honesty goes up immediately.
What's your favorite fruit, and when is it at its best?
Why ask it
Fruit people are particular: a peach for two weeks in summer, a mango eaten over the sink, grapes only when they're cold. What grows nearby changes the answer, so someone who grew up elsewhere may name a fruit you have never tried.
What's your favorite drink, hot or cold?
Why ask it
Wide enough to cover tea, coffee, soda or a milkshake without assuming any of them. It's also the favorite you'll use most often, because remembering how someone takes their coffee is a small kindness you can repeat for years.
What's your favorite breakfast when there's no rush?
Why ask it
A weekday breakfast is fuel and tells you very little. The slow version shows what a good morning looks like to them, and whether it happens at home, at a diner or closer to noon.
What's your favorite restaurant or place to eat, fancy or not?
Why ask it
The honest answer is often a taco truck, a highway diner or a stall at the market, not the place with tablecloths. Ask what they order there. A regular never needs the menu and enjoys being asked.
What was your favorite candy as a kid, and can you still get it?
Why ask it
Discontinued candy produces real grief and long descriptions of wrappers. If it's still on sale, ask whether it tastes the same now. The answer is nearly always no, and the theories about why are the fun part.
What's your favorite meal that someone else makes?
Why ask it
You get a cook and a kitchen along with the dish. A parent or grandparent is the usual answer, so ask whether anyone has the recipe written down or whether it only exists in that person's hands.
What's your favorite meal you can cook without looking anything up?
Why ask it
This is what really gets made on a Tuesday, which may be nothing like what they wish they could cook. If nothing comes to mind they'll usually say so with a laugh, and you can ask what they make from a box.
Entertainment
What's your favorite kind of music, and what's on your playlist that doesn't fit it?
Why ask it
A genre alone is a one-word answer, so go straight to the exception. The song that doesn't belong is usually there because of a wedding, a road trip or a parent's car stereo.
Who's your favorite singer or band, and have you seen them live?
Why ask it
A concert is a story with a date, a venue and usually a friend in it. For someone who hasn't seen them yet, the question becomes how far they'd travel for a ticket and which song they'd want first.
What's your favorite album to play from start to finish?
Why ask it
People tend to name what they played during one particular year, not the best record they know. Ask which year it was and where they did the listening: a bedroom, a bus, a first car.
What's your favorite song to sing along to, however badly?
Why ask it
This is a different list from the songs they admire. It's the one they know every word of, and on a long drive the correct follow-up is to put it on.
Who's your favorite actor, the one whose name alone gets you to watch?
Why ask it
The real test is whether they'd sit through a bad movie for this person. Ask which bad one they have sat through. There is always one, and they'll still defend ten minutes of it.
Who's your favorite comedian, or the funniest person you know?
Why ask it
Naming a comedian shows you their sense of humor faster than describing it would: deadpan, silly, sharp. The funniest person they know is likely to be a relative or a coworker, and they'll want to retell that person's best line.
What was your favorite cartoon or kids' show growing up?
Why ask it
It fixes someone's age and their after-school routine in a single answer. People born within a few years of you will start on the theme tune. With anyone older or younger, get them to explain the plot and enjoy how strange it sounds out loud.
Who's your favorite villain from a movie, book or show?
Why ask it
People choose villains for their style, for a good speech or because they quietly agreed with them. Which of the three it was comes out fast, and the third is the one to ask more about.
What's your favorite line from a movie or show, the one you quote without meaning to?
Why ask it
Most families and friend groups run on a handful of borrowed lines that nobody remembers adopting. Expect the voice to come with it, and ask who else in their life says it back.
What's your favorite game, whether it's on a board, a screen or a deck of cards?
Why ask it
You learn how they like to compete as much as what they play. Ask who they play it with, and whether they're the one who reads the rules aloud or the one who makes them up.
What's your favorite podcast or channel at the moment?
Why ask it
Here you get what's actually in their headphones on the bus, as opposed to the books and films they'd list if asked to impress. It's also the easiest favorite to try for yourself: ask for one episode to start with, then tell them what you thought.
Places
What's your favorite trip you've ever taken?
Why ask it
Let them tell it as a story, with the weather, the transport and whatever went wrong, since that is the part people remember. Then ask which single day of it they'd live again.
What's your favorite city, not counting the one you live in?
Why ask it
The reasons vary more than the cities do: the food, the walking, being anonymous, one good week there at twenty. Ask whether they'd move there or only visit, which tends to be the better conversation.
Beach, mountains, city or countryside: which is your favorite kind of vacation?
Why ask it
A pick-one that a whole table can answer at once. It turns practical if you ever travel together, because someone who wants a sun lounger and someone who wants a summit should find that out before booking.
What's your favorite thing about where you grew up?
Why ask it
Even people who couldn't wait to leave can name something: a swimming spot, a bakery, how dark it got at night. If they still live there, ask what has changed most since they were small.
What was your favorite place to go as a kid?
Why ask it
A fort in the yard, a grandparent's garden, the public pool, the back seat of one particular car. Ask whether it's still there. Childhood places often aren't, and people have plenty to say about what replaced them.
What's your favorite place you have been on your own?
Why ask it
With no company to credit, the answer is about the place itself: a museum on a weekday, a trail, a cafe in a city where nobody knew them. Someone who has never gone anywhere alone can tell you where they'd start.
What's your favorite spot in your home, down to the exact chair?
Why ask it
Nearly everyone has one. Describing it means describing the light, what's within reach and what time of day they sit there, so you get a small tour of their life without seeing the house.
What's your favorite place to go when you need to think?
Why ask it
Some people walk, some drive, some stand in the shower until the hot water runs out. The answer shows how they sort things out in private, which is useful to know before the first time they go quiet on you.
What's your favorite store to wander around with no plan to buy anything?
Why ask it
Hardware stores, bookshops, the stationery aisle, a garden center: where someone browses is closer to their daydreams than what they actually buy. It's also a ready-made cheap afternoon out.
Everyday
What's your favorite way to spend a day with nothing planned?
Why ask it
See whether the answer has other people in it, and whether it costs anything. Some fill an empty day by lunchtime and some guard it, and it helps to know which before you propose a plan for one.
What's your favorite time of day, and what are you usually doing then?
Why ask it
You get the routine along with the hour: coffee before the house wakes up, the walk home, the stretch after midnight when nobody needs anything. It also tells you when a call from you would be welcome and when it wouldn't.
What's your favorite hobby, and who got you into it?
Why ask it
Hobbies often begin with a person: a neighbor with a workshop, a friend who needed a fourth player. If they say they don't have one, ask what they look things up about for no reason, and count that.
What's your favorite way to unwind after a long day?
Why ask it
Some need an hour of quiet and some need to talk the whole day through, and the two sometimes end up sharing a home. Knowing which they are tells you what to offer when they walk in tired: company or space.
What's your favorite small ritual, the thing you do the same way every time?
Why ask it
Coffee made one particular way, the crossword in pen, a fixed order for packing a bag. People explain theirs with more pride than you'd expect, so hear out the whole procedure and don't suggest improvements.
What's your favorite app on your phone, the one you'd keep if you could keep only one?
Why ask it
The one they'd keep is seldom the one they open most. Maps, the camera, a group chat or a word game each point at something different: getting around, keeping pictures, keeping people, or ten quiet minutes.
What's your favorite thing you have learned to do as an adult?
Why ask it
Nobody makes an adult take lessons, so the answer shows what they were willing to be visibly bad at for a while. Swimming, driving, bread, a language: ask how long it took before it stopped being embarrassing.
What's your favorite thing about your job that would never appear in a job description?
Why ask it
Answers tend to be a colleague, a quiet hour, a machine or the drive in, none of which a job title would give away. For a student, ask the same about school and expect lunch or one particular class.
What's your favorite thing you own, and how did you come by it?
Why ask it
Expect a mug, a tool, a guitar or a ring before anything expensive. Most of these came from someone, so the answer to the second half is usually a name.
What's your favorite piece of clothing, the one that's nearly worn out?
Why ask it
The loved item is rarely the smart one. It's a sweater with a history or a jacket that nothing since has fitted like, and they can usually tell you where it came from and roughly what year.
What's your favorite thing to spend money on that other people would call a waste?
Why ask it
Books, good coffee, taxis home, a hobby that eats supplies: everyone has one thing they refuse to economize on. Admit yours as well, and don't do the math for them out loud.
What's your favorite thing to argue about?
Why ask it
The best answers are harmless and fiercely held: whether a hot dog is a sandwich, how to load a dishwasher, the greatest player of all time. You'll hear whether they argue for sport, to win or to think, and which subjects they'd sooner leave alone.
Deeper
What's your favorite gift you've ever received?
Why ask it
Ask who gave it before you ask what it was. Whether they still have it, and where it is kept, says how much the giver mattered.
What's your favorite childhood memory?
Why ask it
Early memories tend to be short and vivid: a kitchen floor, a car ride at night, one snow day. Don't dig if the answer comes slowly. Not everyone enjoys going back there, and a memory from last summer is a fine substitute.
What's your favorite birthday you've ever had?
Why ask it
Ask how old they were turning and who planned it. The birthdays people hold on to are mostly small ones: a cake from scratch, a surprise visitor, a day off school. Remember the detail when theirs comes around.
What was your favorite subject at school, and was it the subject or the teacher?
Why ask it
Very often it was the teacher, and then you get a portrait of an adult who took them seriously at fourteen. With someone still in school, ask it in the present tense and let them complain about the other classes.
What's your favorite family story, the one that gets told every year?
Why ask it
Plenty of families have a story that gets retold at the same table with the same corrections. Hearing it introduces the characters before you meet them, and shows who in the family does the telling.
What's your favorite tradition, and did you inherit it or start it?
Why ask it
An inherited tradition is about their family. One they started, a film every New Year's Eve or pancakes on the first day of school, shows what they wanted to have and decided to build themselves.
What's your favorite quality in a friend, and who has the most of it?
Why ask it
On its own the quality is a word like loyal or funny. Once they name the friend it becomes a ride at two in the morning or a joke at exactly the right moment, and you find out who matters to them.
Who's your favorite person to call when something good happens?
Why ask it
Many people have one name for good news and a different one for bad. The happy call goes to whoever they trust to be glad for them without turning it into a comparison. Ask what the last piece of news was.
What's your favorite compliment you've ever been given?
Why ask it
Many people can quote one word for word years later, along with who said it. Notice whether it was about their character, their work or how they look: that is the kind of praise that lands with them.
What's your favorite quote or saying, and who did you first hear it from?
Why ask it
A grandparent's saying or a coach's line beats a famous quotation, because it arrives with the person who said it. Failing that, ask which phrase their family repeats so much it has become a joke.
What's your favorite piece of advice you actually took?
Why ask it
The word actually rules out the sayings people repeat without following. A real answer names who said it and what they did differently afterwards, so ask for both.
What's your favorite thing about yourself?
Why ask it
Harder than anything else on this page, so leave it late and answer it yourself first. If they deflect with a joke, let the joke stand. If they give a real answer, agree with it out loud.
What's your favorite thing about someone you love that they don't know you notice?
Why ask it
A warm place to finish. The good answers are small and specific: a habit, a phrase, the way someone stands in a queue. Suggest they tell the person.
Using favorites questions well
Practical guidance for the conversation itself
How to ask them
Start with a classic, then narrow it
The Classics group is the quick way in: a color, a food, a season, a song. Nobody needs time to think, so those suit children, a group, or the first five minutes with someone new. Once an answer lands, move to a narrower question on the same subject further down the list, and that is where the stories are.
Always take the follow-up
The favorite itself is trivia. The reason behind it is the conversation. When someone names a film, a dish or a place, the next thing out of your mouth should be when, or who with, or what was going on that year.
Answer your own question too
These work as an exchange and fail as a survey. Give your own answer first or straight after, with as much detail as you hope to get back. People tend to match the length of what they have just heard.
Ask for a specific one, not a category
Favorite kind of music gets a genre. Favorite album gets a year of someone's life. The narrower the question, the better the answer, which is why so many of these have a second half: where do you get it, who got you into it, has it always been that one.
Follow the energy rather than the list
If one answer opens something up, stay there for ten minutes. A list is for when the conversation stalls, not for working through in order, and abandoning it is usually the sign it is going well.
Where these work and where they do not
- Good on a first date, where a light question with a real answer beats an interview about work and family.
- Good in a car or on a walk, where side by side makes a slow answer comfortable.
- Good with someone you have known for years, since the specific versions rarely come up by accident.
- Good around a family table or in a classroom circle if you stay with the Classics: one question, everyone answers, and the disagreements do the work.
- Good as a favorites sheet for a new teacher, a coworker or a gift exchange. Copy the plain ones (color, flower, drink, dessert, snack, restaurant, store) and leave the second halves off, because on paper nobody fills them in.
- Weak in a group larger than four once you leave the Classics, because each person gives a headline and nobody expands.
- Weak over text, where the reason gets dropped and you are left with a list.
- Weak as an icebreaker at work if you reach for the Deeper group. Few people will talk honestly about family or what they like about themselves in front of colleagues. Food and Entertainment are the safe ones there.
Common pitfalls
Rapid fire
Six of these in a row turns into a quiz, and the answers get shorter with each one. Two or three in an evening, spaced out and followed up, will do more than twenty asked back to back.
Grading the answer
Reacting to a favorite with surprise, teasing or a correction ends the honest version immediately. What comes next will be chosen for how it sounds rather than for being true, and you will have taught them to do that all evening.
Waiting to talk
Asking a question while holding your own answer ready is visible from across a table. Listen to the reason they give and ask about that before you bring out your prepared story.
Mistaking taste for character
What someone likes is far less informative than why, and drawing conclusions from a band or a book usually says more about you. Treat the favorite as the door rather than the room.